viral disease


New video on my channel!!! I’ve heard A LOT of interesting things from people since being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. So I decided to take my “favorite” comments and turn them into a comedy sketch. Be sure to check it out!! and subscribe to my channel!! 

SnK Theory: Antigenic Drift

One of the prominent things that we knew about Grisha from the very beginning of the series was his outstanding ability as a doctor and how he cured a plague. 

But doesn’t this whole situation seem a little suspicious?

According to the internet, an “antibody” is a substance produced by the body in response to bacteria, viruses, and other foreign substances in the blood. This protein is created when the body recognizes the invader and has already developed an immune response towards it.

And while characters like Hannes and Shadis make note of explaining how lucky it is that Grisha was able to find a cure… it is important to make the connection that IF the cure was an antibody, then the only place that it could have come from was Grisha Jaeger. 

Which would mean that Grisha Jaeger would have had to already have an immunity to the mysterious plague. 

Okay, that’s really suspicious. 

But with the reveal of Grisha’s backstory, this makes a lot of sense. 

The people from inside the walls were separated from the main land population for over 100 years. And over that century, the main land population would experience constant epidemics in the form of diseases and viral infections. The population would gradually become immune to these strains of disease and they’d no longer be affected by them.

But imagine if an individual who was separated from the main land population ended up getting infected with one of these strains.

Thanks to antigenic drift, these individuals would not have the immunity available to combat these new strains of disease.

But someone from the main land population would have a natural immunity because of generations worth of genetics.

Unfortunately, someone with a natural immunity can still carry infectious diseases with them- unknowingly. And when this unknowing carrier is introduced into a population that has no natural immunity, then it can cause havoc. 

We’ve seen it in history.

When the Europeans arrived in the New World, they bought Smallpox and Influenza with them. They infected the indigenous population causing many deaths. The most vulnerable groups were those with a relatively small population and few built-up immunities.

And 100 years is more than enough time for a distinct immunity gap to be formed. Compare with Smallpox and how it was eradicated back in the 1980s leading to a stop in immunizations against Smallpox. Its been 30 years since then and the world population no longer has any immunity towards Smallpox.

What we can gather from this is pretty interesting…

The population inside the walls was infected with a plague because they were exposed to a disease that they had no immunity against. Grisha had an “antibody” that he converted into a cure; meaning he already had an immunity towards this disease.

So this disease was probably something from the main land.

And it only occurred after Grisha was allowed inside the walls.

Grisha didn’t just cure the plague. 

He brought it with him.
How an abortion saved millions of lives
In 1962, Leonard Hayflick created a cell strain from an aborted fetus.

The woman was four months pregnant, but she didn’t want another child. In 1962, at a hospital in Sweden, she had a legal abortion.

The fetus — female, 20 centimetres long and wrapped in a sterile green cloth — was delivered to the Karolinska Institute in northwest Stockholm. There, the lungs were dissected, packed on ice and dispatched to the airport, where they were loaded onto a transatlantic flight. A few days later, Leonard Hayflick, an ambitious young microbiologist at the Wistar Institute for Anatomy and Biology in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, unpacked that box.

Working with a pair of surgical scalpels, Hayflick minced the lungs — each about the size of an adult fingertip — then placed them in a flask with a mix of enzymes that fragmented them into individual cells. These he transferred into several flat-sided glass bottles, to which he added a nutrient broth. He laid the bottles on their sides in a 37 °C incubation room. The cells began to divide.

So began WI-38, a strain of cells that has arguably helped to save more lives than any other created by researchers. Many of the experimental cell lines available at that time, such as the famous HeLa line, had been grown from cancers or were otherwise genetically abnormal. WI-38 cells became the first ‘normal’ human cells available in virtually unlimited quantities to scientists and to industry and, as a result, have become the most extensively described and studied normal human cells available to this day.

Vaccines made using WI-38 cells have immunized hundreds of millions of people against rubella, rabies, adenovirus, polio, measles, chickenpox and shingles. In the 1960s and 1970s, the cells helped epidemiologists to identify viral culprits in disease outbreaks. Their normality has made them valuable control cells for comparison with diseased ones. And at the Wistar Institute, as in labs and universities around the world, they remain a leading tool for probing the secrets of cellular ageing and cancer.

We’re Happy

Request: Can I get a Sebastian Stan x Reader where he takes care of her when she’s sick. – @imperialnova 
Thank you Savannah for supporting me and being the first on my followers celebration!!

“Sebby.” I felt Seb toss in the bed, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him and hiding his face in my neck.
“What’s wrong love?” I smiled at his sweetness, but it was cut short as my body racked with coughs. Immediately Seb jumped up, cutting the bedside lamp on. He looked down at me, concern written all over his face. “What’s wrong? Is everything ok? What do I need to do? Do I need to call the doctor? Take you to the e.r.? Just tell me and I’ll make it happen.” I smiled softly at his concern, reaching up and tracing the outline of his jaw.
“Nothing’s wrong Sebby, well not that serious anyway. I’m just sick. I’m sure it’s just that virus that’s been going around. Didn’t Chris say he had the virus?”
“Yea, he said he had it. I don’t get how you got it though, he refused to come anyway near here.”
“I could have got it from the air, you know viral disease.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. Just, just hold me?”
I did my best puppy dog eyes on Seb, the one I had learned from Jared when I was working on Supernatural with him and Jensen. Seb smiled softly at me, laying back down behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. I smiled softly and soon, succumbed to sleep, Seb’s snores helping me fall asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I had to push myself out of Sebs arms and rush towards the bathroom and lean over the toilet. Every morning for the past six weeks I wake up puking my guts out.
“Y/N baby? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” I felt Seb pull my hair up into a loose ponytail, keeping it out of my face. Once I was done, I leant against the wall, wiping the loose strands of hair out of my face. Seb reached out with a wet towel, gently placing it on my face.
“Y/N baby, you ready to tell me whats wrong?” Sadly I looked up at Seb’s face, littered with concern. He offered me a small, soft smile and I reached out, grabbing his hand, running my fingers over his knuckles.
I’m pregnant.” I slowly looked up to see his reaction and I smiled softly as I saw the huge grin take over his face.
Your-we’re pregnant?! Are you sure?” I leaped up into Seb’s arms, laughing as we toppled over with me landing on top of him, our legs tangled together. I grabbed his face, turning him to look at me and I smiled, silent tears falling from both our faces.
Yeah Sebby, we’re pregnant.” Seb smiled up at me and leaned up to kiss me, laughing and hugging me before he took his phone out. He sat us both up, me in his lap with his legs around me, and our hands forming a heart on my barely showing stomach. Once I heard the “snap” of the picture, I turned kissing Seb one more time before I noticed the shy smile he was wearing.
“What are you up to?”
“I’m just letting everyone know that we’ve got a new edition to the family.” I smiled at Seb and kissed him again before I pushed myself up, turning to reach out for Seb.
Well, now we’re going to stay in bed all day and watch Netflix. Deal?” Seb smiled at me and he pushed himself up, grabbing me behind my back and legs, picking me up bridal style and carrying me to the bed. We laid down, wrapped up in each others embrace, happy, even more happy than we were before.  

AN: I’m trying a different format just to see how it will turn out.


Forever Taglist:

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A little TLC... (Tender Loving Captain)

My first Captain Underpants related prompt! I have another prompt on the line that ties into this one, so I’m gonna make it a two-part-er. Eyyyy.

Warning: Kinda gross sick reader descriptions. But lots of care and love from the Captain <3



To say you felt like death was an understatement.

Wave after wave of nausea overthrew you. The mucus you coughed up was a deep blue violet and had a bright neon pinkish glow. It was nothing like you had ever seen before. And it wasn’t just you who suffered this bizarre illness either. The whole town was infected with a disgusting viral disease, making everyone leak this vile purple substance from their bodies.

But luckily for you, the local superhero and his two trusty sidekicks were right on the case.

They had heard the news of an alien virus creature crash landing on earth with a devious plot to use human bodies as hosts to spread their volatile life-sustaining disease.

And lucky you… you were chosen as the host for the queen.

So here you were, sprawled out on your bed, your legs and arms strapped down at all sides whilst George, Harold, and Captain Underpants battled inside your body at a microscopic level to defeat the queen alien virus.

“We’ve almost got her! Just hang in there, Y/n!!!”

Harold’s voice buzzed through a handheld radio at your bedside. You tried to speak but all you could do was cough. More purple mucus and bits of the queen’s alien armada came spewing out of your mouth onto a Super Industrial-Strength 600% Guaranteed Germ Killing Antibacterial Hand Sanitizer soaked towel across your chest. The aliens screamed and dissolved as soon as they hit the chemically drenched fabric.

All of a sudden, the large gas bubble that was pushing against your lower abdomen burst with an audible POP.

A wave of rumbling, bubbling warmth rose up from your stomach…

to your chest…

up your esophagus…

… right up to your nasal cavity. The heat suddenly became too intense to bear.

“Ah…. Ah…. ACHOO!!!

The biggest glob of glowing purple snot you had ever seen burst from your nose, splattering all across your chest. Looking closer, you could just barely make out the micro-sized figures of George, Harold, Captain Underpants, and the Queen Virus.

“OH, WHAT A WOOOOORLD!!!” The queen screeched as she bubbled into a dissolved pile of alien matter.

Just then and electric blue light formed around the heroes as they grew back to their normal, non-microscopic sizes.

“Bless you!”

Captain Underpants exclaimed as he peeled off his snot covered hazmat suit.

“Th-Thank you?” You sniffled in disgust. That purple goo is never coming out of your carpet.

“Don’t let us forget to return Melvin’s Molecular-Mass-Reconfigulator9000 when we get back home!” George stated, slipping his and Harold’s slime coated raincoats into your trash bin.

Captain Underpants helped you out of your restraints. As you sat up in your bed, you felt your head immediately begin to spin as more goop came up into your throat. You quickly grabbed a tissue and hacked into it.

“Maybe we should stay to make sure they got all of it out of their system?” Harold suggested. 

“Absolutely not!” The Captain interjected. “You boys need to get back home and make sure everyone is back to normal.” He turned to you, handing you the trash bin to toss your used tissue into.

“I’ll stay here and make sure you feel better as soon as possible, okay?” He stated proudly. “After all, it is my duty!”

You had to admit, that whole ordeal was probably the scariest few moments of your entire life. Being alone wasn’t really going to be helpful to your mental health at the moment.

“A-Alright.” You gave in. “Thank you for helping me. All of you.”

“It was no trouble at all!” The Captain exclaimed, putting his fist to his chest.

“Yeah! We couldn’t just let some alien thing turn you into a snot factory.” George beamed.

Harold picked up the Molecular-Mass-Reconfigulator9000. “Then I guess that’s all you need us for then.” He said to the brief clad hero. “Just make sure after this is over and they are all better that you go home and get a shower right away! Especially your face!”

“Yeah!” George added. “You gotta make sure none of the alien virus got on you too!”

“Aye-aye, kids!” Captain Underpants gave the boys a reassuring salute as they left the bedroom to go back home.

You tried your best to get out of bed and clean up the mess, but your body was so weak and sore. You groaned as you attempted to put weight on your legs, but the Captain quickly guided you back into your bed.

“Nope. I’ll take care of this, Y/n.” He said, taking the gross towel off your bed and placing it in the trash. “You stay right here. Or better yet…”

You felt his arms reaching underneath your body, and soon you were being lifted from your mattress.

“Wh-Where are we going?!” You asked, frantically clinging to his shoulders.

“You, my dear, need a nice hot bath after that ordeal.” He proclaimed as he carried you out of your bedroom, down the hall, and into your bathroom.

He nudged the door open with his shoulder and set you down in the toilet seat while he started the water for you.

“I.. um.. Thank you.. but I could have walked myself…” You felt a heat rush to your cheeks as he felt the water to make sure it was the perfect temperature for you.

“Nonesense. I need to make sure you, my patient, gets every ounce of rest you can get!” He stated proudly as he wiped off his hands in a clean towel. “Now you relax and I’ll take care of that mess for you, alright?”

Your face burned. You weren’t quite sure about the thought of being his patient, but if this caped crusader was willing to take extra personal care of you, then how could you complain?

You noticed his cheeks turn a little rosy. 

“Umm.. do you need help with your clothes there? Or should I just…” He gestured his thumbs toward the door.

Th-That won’t be necessary!!” You quickly shooed him out the door, locking it tight behind him. You pressed your back against the door, listening to his footsteps as he made his way back to your bedroom.

You peeled off your disgusting clothes and gently lowered yourself into the warm bath. A sweet aroma wafted up from the steam. He must’ve thrown in some of your bath soap while you weren’t looking. You felt your muscles relax as your body sank into the tub. You could faintly hear joyful whistling coming from down the hall, growing closer and closer to the bathroom door.

*knock knock*

“I brought you a clean outfit for when you’re done!” The Captain called. He started to rattle the doorknob.

“J-Just leave it outside!!! Thank you!!!” You hastily covered yourself with the curtain.


Now that you were all cleaned and dressed, you threw your gross clothes into  a garbage bag. There is no way in hell you’re wearing those again. When you made your way back to your bedroom, you noticed the room was completely spotless. Not only did he clean up every last drop of the purple goop, but all the clutter around your bedroom was organized neatly along your shelves. All of your laundry was folded and put into their respective drawers. And your bed was made neatly, your blankets tucked in with the top folded over in a welcoming manner. By your bedside was a rather good looking sandwich with a cup of juice and a new, freshly opened box of tissues.

“Woah…” Your mouth fell open. “You really went all out, didn’t you?”

Captain Underpants chuckled. “I just thought you could use a fresh environment. Now here, let’s get you back into bed.” 

Gently placing an arm around your shoulder, the Captain guided you over to your bed, helping you back under the covers.

“There.” He said, brushing off his hands. “Are you feeling any better after your bath?”

You nodded, sitting up and placing the food tray onto your lap. “Much better. I think the steam helped break up most of that purple gunk in my system. But I still feel a little feverish.. ah!

All of a sudden, the Captain’s face was mere centimeters away as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“Hmm.. You are running a bit warm.” He muttered. He placed his fingers to his chin in thought.

“I-I’m sure after I get some food and fluids in me it will die down fast.” You assured. “Thank you so much for your service, Captain!”

But the Captain shook his head. “I made a vow to George and Harold that I wouldn’t leave until you were in top physical condition Y/n, my dear! And I intend to keep that promise!”

You bit your bottom lip, furrowing your brow. “Alright then, I suppose..” You looked around your room, spotting your laptop on your desk.

“How about a movie then?” You suggested.

The Captain tilted his head. “A movie?”

“Sure!” You got up from your bed and went over to your desk, picking up your laptop. “Come sit next to me. There’s room.”

The Captain scratched his head for a moment before hesitantly joining you on your bed. You noticed he was hesitant about getting close to you, his cheeks returning to their rosy complexion.

You kinda had to smile. You didn’t know this courageous hero could get flustered so easily. It was kinda cute to be honest.

“It’s okay, I don’t bite.” You patted your bedside and flipped open your laptop.

He swallowed, then scooted over a bit more until his side was brushing up against yours.

“Comfy?” You asked, giggling a bit.

“Yes, Y/n.” He swallowed hard as he tried to relax against your pillows. You smiled and turned out the light as you and him scrolled through your list of favorite animated films to watch.


About halfway into the movie, you felt your eyes grow heavier and heavier. You let out a deep, breathy yawn as you leaned against the shoulder of the Captain who was also in the process of dozing off himself.

“You know, you don’t have to stay the whole night, Captain.” You mumbled dreamily. “But I… *yaaawn* … appreciate the company…”

Captain Underpants rubbed his drooping eyes. “You… You don’t need me to … to stay?” His words began to trail off as he leaned his head against yours.

You looked up at him and sighed. He was putting his whole heart into taking care of you. Nobody had ever gone through this much trouble to take care of you when you were recovering from the flu, let alone an alien virus epidemic.

“I guess if you want to then I guess you can-…”

It was too late as the Captain began to snore lightly beside you. You shut your laptop and set it on your bedside. You then brought the covers up over the Captain’s body and rolled over to the opposite side of the bed.

You too began to drift off to sleep until a set of strong, soft arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer to his body. You could just barely make out a soft muttering under his breath.

“… my darling… Y/n…”

Heat rushed to your cheeks once more. You were going to have to wake up bright and early to make sure the Captain was back home in time to get ready to go to work at the elementary school in the morning. But that shouldn’t be to hard. He was your neighbor after all.

You let your eyes fall closed as you too fell into a deep slumber, feeling safe and secure against the warm embrace of the Captain.

But little did you know that this ordeal wasn’t over yet. Tomorrow was going to be a whole new ballgame of troubles once Captain Underpants returned back to normal.

“Normal” being a loose term.

Little did either of you know the virus could still spread if a person has stayed in close physical contact with the main host for over 12 hours.

Let’s hope you have enough strength to return the favor.

(To Be Continued…)


Whooooo wants to learn about viral diseases???

I got another micro exam coming up this week, so I needed to kinda organize my thoughts. I wouldn’t know how to make actual flashcards for all of these, so… this is the next best thing.

But yeah! I dunno, learning materials. I still gotta do the two bacterial diseases we covered in class and I think we have some protist diseases we need to cover, too.


You guys ready for a long sappy birthday post!? lols 

So today is my 23rd birthday and I am so grateful to be here. The past few years have been very interesting for me. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease at the age of 20. when I was 21 I had to take time off from school because I was so sick. That caused me too miss out on my senior year of college. After being in the hospital for almost 5 months I was finally discharged right before my 22nd birthday. However, I was still not 100% and spent that birthday/some of that year in a wheel chair. I even had months of physical therapy and watched my hair fall out from remicade (a form of chemo). And after ALLLL of that lols I’m still here!! Each day I’m getting healthier and happier. I honestly appreciate life soooo much more after going thru all of that. Thankful to the most high!! and all my friends and loved ones for standing by me thru it all. 

Beauty of the Motherland

The 2,000-year-old tree in South Africa called The Tree of Life. The baobab tree.

Some hollowed out trunks have been used to provide shelter to as many as 40 people, it can hold up to 4,500 liters of water, fibers from the bark can be turned into rope and cloth and fresh leaves are often eaten to boost the immune system. 

The medicinal properties of the baobab fruit are amaze-balls: 3 times as much Vitamin C as an orange, 50% more Calcium than spinach, and it has a plentiful source of antioxidants which are disease-fighting molecules credited with helping reduce the risk of cancer and heart disease. 

An excerpt from the zoological text The Hunter’s Encyclopedia of Animals (First Edition).


acuomotor reflex The inflation of the gobul’s spines by taking in water and air into its elastic stomach, in order to expand its body.

aestivation (L. aestivare, from aestās, summer) A state of dormancy or torpor induced by high temperatures and arid conditions. Characterized by inactivity and a lowered metabolic rate.

agonism (Gr. agōnistēs, combatant) An offensive action or threat directed toward another organism.

ailuromorphic (Gr. aílouros, cat, + morphḗ, form) A pseudowyvern with features superficially reminiscent of felids. This includes (but is not limited to) a feathery integument analogous to a pelt, rictal bristles functionally similar to vibrissae, and obligate carnivory.

allogenic engineer Organisms that modify their biophysical environment by changing living or nonliving material.

alpenstock The barioth’s epidermal protrusions on the leading edge of the wings, knees, and lateral sides of the tail. Used for traction atop ice. Synonyms include “spine” and “spike.”

anapsid (Gr. an-, without, + apsis, arch) Amniotes in which the skull lacks temporal fenestrae, with turtles the only living representatives.

anautogeny A condition found in insects where a gravid female must feed on blood before oviposition in order for the eggs to mature.

angiosperm Seed-producing, fruit-bearing, flowering plants.

anisodactyl The arrangement of digits wherein three toes face forward and are accompanied by a single back-facing toe.

anthrax A lethal disease caused by the bacterium Bacillus anthracis. Anthrax can occur in three forms: epidermal, respiratory, and intestinal.

apex predator Carnivorous animals that occupy the highest trophic levels and have a disproportionate influence on the health of their ecosystem.

aratrum (L. arātrum, plough) The cranial bone of the barroth, comprised of trabecular tissue and enlarged sinuses. This structure houses the nasal cavities and supports five dorsally-located nares. The namesake for the eponymous genus Aratrum.


benthos (Gr. depth of the sea) Organisms that live along the bottom of seas and lakes; adj., benthic.

biological species concept A reproductive community of populations (reproductively isolated from others) that occupies a specific niche in nature.

biome (Gr. bíos, life, + -ōma, body) Communities of plants and animals characterized by climatic and soil conditions; the largest ecological unit.


caelincolid (L. caelum, sky, + incola, inhabitant) Any species belonging to the family Caelincolidae.

capillaturid (L. capillātūra, false hair) Any species belonging to the superfamily Capillaturoidea. Named for their plumage, which is often compared to fur on mammals. Also known as “wig wyverns.”

cathemeral An organism that demonstrates sporadic intervals of activity during the day or night.

CDIHG The Conservation Division of the International Hunters’ Guild. A group that assesses a species’ susceptibility to extinction, by monitoring populations and establishing criteria for Red List placement. Established forty years ago in response to loss of biodiversity, due to overhunting and anthropogenic ecosystem destruction.

cephalovelos (Gr. kephalé, head, + vélos, arrow) The ribbed hood structure found on the lagiacrus’ head, studded with electroreceptors on its ventral surface.

chitinase (Gr. khitṓn, tunic) Hydrolytic enzymes that break down glycosidic bonds in chitin, most commonly found in bacteria and fungi, and to a lesser extent, plants and some animals.

cloaca (L. cloāca, sewer) The posterior orifice that houses the openings for the digestive, reproductive, and urinary tracts.

conflagrant tube A mucus-lined tubular organ that connects the flame sac to an opening in the oral cavity, where the byproduct waste gas can be expelled through the mouth.

conspecific A member of the same species.

coprophagy The consumption of fecal matter.

convergent evolution See homoplasy.

crepuscular An organism that is active at twilight (dawn and dusk).

crypsis The ability of an animal to avoid detection through methods such as camouflage, nocturnality, subterranean lifestyle, and mimicry. Involves visual, olfactory, and auditory concealment.


dagger [†] A typographical symbol that, when used next to a name, indicates death or extinction. Also called an obelisk.

desiccation The state of extreme dryness, or the state of drying.

diapsid (Gr. di-, two, + apsis, arch) Amniotes in which the skull bears two pairs of temporal fenestrae, including birds and reptiles (barring turtles).

dog wyvern Any theropod species belonging to the family Vipracanidae. Includes the genera Magnaraptor (the greats) and Dromos (the dromes).


ectoparasite Parasites that live on the outside of the host.

ectothermic (Gr. ektós, outside, + thermē, heat) An organism that cannot internally maintain its body temperature and must rely on external sources of heat to moderate metabolic rates. “Cold-blooded.”

elaiopteral gland (Gr. élaio, oil, + pterón, wing) An oil-secreting gland found on the inner forearm (antebrachial) of pseudowyverns in Capillaturoidea. The gland secretion is conveyed to the surface in hollow ducts, terminating at a modified spur. Used for maintenance of feather integrity, pheromone production, and waterproofing.

elder dragon A catch-all term applied to unrelated species with similar cultural and religious significance, capable of posing high-level threats to human populations. The term elder dragon is often a misnomer, used to describe very specific organisms from groups such as the squamates, cephalopods, and perissodactyls.

electrocyte Flat disc-shaped cells stacked in thousands that function by pumping sodium and potassium ions.

electrogenesis The biological generation of electricity by living organisms.

electroreception The ability to perceive ambient electrical stimuli.

electroreceptor Sense organs located in the skin used for electrolocation.

endothermic (Gr. endon, within, + thermē, heat) An organism that can internally maintain its body temperature by balancing metabolic heat production by heat loss. “Warm-blooded.”

epibiont An organism that lives on the surface of an organism, typically in a commensalistic relationship.

euryhaline A species that has a tolerance to a wide range of salinities.

exsanguination Sufficient blood loss, normally to the point of death.

extant When a species is still existing.

extinct When a species is no longer in existence. Extinction is typically decided by the death of the last individual of a species.


Fatalis Trinity An occult religion practiced the world over. Its chief deities are the Fatalis Brethren (species of the genus Fatum), whose worshippers believe that they are living gods reincarnated in the form of six-limbed dragons. Their Temple maxim is “Damus nostra fāta tibi.”

fire gurgling An agonistic display seen in raths and espinas. The animal will release small concentrations of methane that ignites on contact with a hypergolic chemical secreted by modified venom glands, causing tendrils of fire to ooze from its jaws.

fire regime The pattern, frequency, and intensity of wildfires prevailing within an area. Fire regimes are an integral component of fire ecology, and the interactions between fire and biotic/abiotic components of an ecosystem.

flame sac An organ connected to the stomach of raths and espinas, used for storing methane produced by microbial bacteria during the breakdown of roughage.

formic acid A carboxylic acid synthesized by ants in the family Formicidae, transmitted by sting from a modified ovipositor, spray ejected from the abdomen, or autothysis.

formicary An ants’ nest.

frenzy virus A viral disease that causes heightened aggression and acute inflammation of the brain after a period of incubation. The pathogen modifies its host’s mortality and behavior long enough to facilitate its transmission to other hosts. The shagaru magara is its primary vector.

frost sac An organ derived from a heavily-modified foregut, found in the mountain barioth. The stomach oil stored within can be ejected in a forceful spray, which then rapidly cools once exposed to frigid temperatures.


gaster The bulbous posterior portion of the metasoma found in hymenopterans.

Gause’s law An ecological principle which states that species competing for the same resource cannot coexist if all ecological factors are constant. If one species has an advantage over the other, then the less fit species will either undergo extinction or an evolutionary or behavioral shift toward a different niche.


haemal arch A bony arch on the underside of tail vertebra.

heterodont (Gr. heteros, different, + odous, tooth) Having teeth differentiated into incisors, canines, and molars for different purposes.

heterogeneity A property ascribed to environments with a mix of uneven concentrations of multiple species (biological), terrain formations (geological), or environmental characteristics (meteorological).

homoplasy The emergence of a characteristic or adaptation shared by a set of species but not present in their ancestors, acquired independently by unrelated groups.

hydrophyte Plants with specific adaptations for living in aquatic or marine environments, submerged, on the surface, or in proximity to water.

hyperphagia (Gr. hupér, over, + -phágos, eater) A preliminary stage to heterothermy, in which an organism will gorge in order to increase its body weight. It will then subsist off of the accumulated fat reserves during its seasonal metabolic depression.


immunohistochemistry The process of detecting antigens in cells by observing the principle of antibodies binding to target antigens in tissue segments.

insectivory A diet of a carnivorous organism consisting chiefly of arthropods.

International Hunters’ Guild An organization whose jurisdiction supersedes that of any government. Its foremost goal is to act as a support network for hunters, while providing education, medical attention, and economic opportunity to people. Abbreviated as IHG.



keystone species A species (typically a predator) whose removal leads to reduced species diversity within the community, and the cessation of the entire ecosystem.

kinsect Any number of domesticated neopteron species trained by hunters for insectry (Fr. insecterie, from insecte + -erie).


leviathan Any species belonging to the order Arcacollum, defined by the characteristic arched neck. The term has also been inaccurately applied to suchians such as the nibelsnarf.

lynian A member of the species Felis comes. The term is not exclusively used with actual lynians, and can refer to bipedal organisms with humanoid characteristics such as the urukis and shakalakas (relatives of the human and wyverian).


Mandibulaformia (L. mandibula, jaw, + fōrma, shape) A genus of flying wyverns characterized by an ossified protrusion of the jaw. While they serve no function in prey-capture or mechanical digestion, the sickle-shaped appendages are thought to be used in intraspecific communication.

membranalan (L. membrāna, skin, + āla, wing) An organism from a clade of nonavian theropods. Characterized by membraned wings (with or without feathers), bipedalism, and endothermy.

motion parallax A monocular depth cue discerned through the proximity of objects, and how fast they appear to move relative to the viewer.


necrosis The death of cells and/or tissues within an organism due to disease, injury, or failure of the circulatory system.

necrotoxin Toxins that cause necrosis (death) in all cells they encounter and destroy all tissue types. Transmitted through the bloodstream.

nictitating membrane A transparent or translucent third eyelid. Protects the eye from UV exposure, debris, water, snow, and impact damage.


olfaction The sense of smell.

ovoviviparity A mode of reproduction in which the embryos that develop inside eggs are hatched and retained within the body without a placental connection to the mother.


paradraconian (Gr. rapá, para, beside, + drákōn, dragon) See pseudowyvern.

patagium A membranous structure that assists an animal in gliding or flight. It is found in bats, birds, some dromaeosaurs, pterosaurs, gliding animals, true wyverns, pseudowyverns, bird wyverns, and dragons.

pentadactyl (Gr. pénte, five, + dáktulos, finger) The condition of having five digits on each limb.

phalange Digital long bones found in the hands and feet of most vertebrates.

photophore A light-emitting organ found of various marine animals that appear as luminous areas on the skin.

phylogeny (Gr. phylon, tribe, race, + geneia, origin) The origin and diversification of any taxon, or the evolutionary history of its origin and diversification, usually presented in the form of a dendrogram.

piscivory A diet of a carnivorous organism consisting chiefly of fish.

pneumatization The formation of air-filled cavities in hard tissues such as bone.

praesidiosaur (L. praesidium, fortress, + Gr. sauros, lizard) Any species belonging to the clade Praesidiosauria.

prenuptial hunt A behavioral assessment demonstrated by raths, in which a courting pair will hunt a prey item together. The success of the outcome determines whether or not the rathian will form a monogamous pair with the suitor rathalos.

proventriculus The narrow, glandular region of the stomach located between the crop and gizzard that uses enzymes to commence digestion, and/or stores food. Also called the foregut.

pseudowyvern (Gr. pseudḗs, lying) An organism from a clade of nonavian theropods. Characterized by membraned wings (with or without feathers), pronograde posture (quadrupedalism), and endothermy.



receding rhampotheca A keratinized epidermal sheath found in many non-avian theropod lineages, thought to have once formed a full or semi-complete beak in ancestral species.

riparian zone The interface between land and rivers/streams, characterized by a high biodiversity of hydrophilic plants along the banks and river margin.

ruminant (L. ruminare, to chew the cud) Cud-chewing artiodactyl mammals with a complex four-chambered stomach.


satellite colony In hymenopterans: Small, outlying colonies staffed with soldier-caste ants that encircle the larger, central colony.

scutum (L. scūtum, shield) A chitinous extension of the pronotum, found on altaroths. Acts as an esophageal blockage when swallowed by barroths, and protects the head region when the altaroth sprays formic acid toward its anterior end.

shellshocker An electric organ derived from modified nerve tissue, located on the medial region of the lagiacrus’ spine.

symbiosis (Gr. sún, with, + bíos, life) The living together of two different species in an intimate relationship. Symbiont always benefits; host may benefit, be unaffected, or be harmed (mutualism, commensalism, and parasitism).

synapsid (G. synapsis, contact, union) An amniote lineage comprising the mammals and the ancestral mammal-like reptiles, having a skull with a single pair of temporal openings.


tapetum lucidum (L. tapetum, tapestry, + lūcidum, bright) A layer of tissue behind the retina in most vertebrates that reflects visible light, increasing the availability of light to photoreceptors. Increases night vision in nocturnal and deep sea organisms.

thagomizer The distinctive arrangement of four to ten horizontal spines on the tail of reptiles. Coined by cartoonist Gary Larson and perpetuated by paleontologist Ken Carpenter.

torpor A state of decreased physical activity indicated by decreased metabolic rates and internal temperature.


ungulate (L. ungula, hoof) Any hooved mammal.


vipracanid (L. vīpera, snake, + canis, dog) See dog wyvern.

vivernan (It. viverna, wyvern, from L. vīpera, snake) An organism from a clade of nonavian theropods, colloquially known as “true wyverns.” Characterized by featherless membraned wings, bipedalism, and ectothermy.



xerophyte (Gr. xērós, dry) Plants with specific adaptations for living in dry environments with little moisture, such as deserts or snow- and ice-covered biomes.

xyrafitperid (Gr. xyráfi, razor, + pterón, wing) Any species belonging to the family Xyrafipteridae.



Definitions written and compiled by the author, with some wordings borrowed from Integrated Principles of Zoology (14 ed.). Etymologies sourced from various websites, books, and online databases, including

I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to talk about this situation on my channel. Or give the amount of details I did regrading everything I’ve been thru dealing with UC/CD. But I did!! lols. I think I needed to because hopefully my video will be able to help someone else out there going thru this. You are NOT alone :)

anonymous asked:

Hi! Could i get your opinion/experience on feather plucking in pet parrots and cockatoos? We see a fair few of them at my practice and I fear there's a lot of misinformation floating around. I understand that it's thought to be due to stress and discomfort, what would you recommend owners do to minimise the likelihood of feather plucking and self harm developing, and once it does would you say it can be 'cured'?

Feather damaging behavior (FDB) is very common in captive pssitacines as well as some other species of birds. FDB is simply an umbrella term that encompasses dozens of diseases and problems, there is no single cause to FDB and individual birds will have different combinations of problems. FDB is highly complex and requires absolutely thorough and complete medical and behavioral work ups. This is not a problem that can be diagnosed or corrected with one or two tests and owners and veterinarians alike are often not up to the expense, challenge, and time commitment of a complete FDB work up. Here is a list of some of the possible causes of FDB to give an idea of just how complex and difficult it is to find the cause and treat:

Infectious Dermatitis
Viral Disease
Feather Dysplasia
Contact Dermatitis
Respiratory Disease
Cardiovascular Disease
Proventricular Dilatation Disease
GI Disorder
Liver, pancreas, renal disease
Endocrine Disease
Reproductive Disease
Heavy Metal Toxicosis
Orthopedic Disorder
Nutritional Deficiencies
Airborne Irritants
Low Humidity
Improper Wing Trim
Small Cage
Social Isolation
Lack of Opportunities to Perform Species Specific Behavior
Aversive Stimuli
Sudden Environmental Changes
Abnormal Photoperiod
Hand Rearing and Imprinting
Poor Socialization
Genetic Factors
Temperamental Traits
Hormonal Influences
Sexual Frustration
Sleep Deprivation
Attention Seeking Behavior
Habituated, Ritualized Behavior
Abnormal Repetitive Behavior Resulting from Neurotransmitter Abnormalities
FDB can be caused by any single of these or a combination of a few to many of them. I cannot stress enough how absolutely difficult it is to properly diagnose and treat. Less than 10% of owners (IME) are willing and able to go through a complete work up and the vast majority of these birds continue to suffer, are bounced from home to home, or are euthanized. If the cause of the behavior is found and treated, yes it can be cured.

Putting on e-collars, bandages, or immediately giving drugs are NOT proper treatments for FDB. Can you imagine having lice but getting put in a straight jacket instead of getting rid of the lice?

What can owners do to prevent this behavior? The first thing is stop owning larger parrot species. I know it is a very unpopular stance but I firmly believe that cockatoos, macaws, amazons, and several other species of parrot simply cannot be kept by the general public. As humans with our own lives we just cannot provide the HUGE amount of socialization and mental stimulation these birds need. This is highly unlikely to ever change though so, moving on to what else can be done.

Feed proper diets. Parrots cannot live on seeds, crackers, peanuts, cereal, millet sticks, and any of the other horrible foods we feed them. These diets are high in fat and sugar and very low in vitamins and other nutrients which can cause FDB as well as other health problems. Parrots need to be on pelleted diets that are supplemented with a large variety of veggies, Southern hemisphere fruits, and grains. This is probably the number one cause of health problems in birds and is one of the easier ones to fix but is the one most owners refuse to change.

Stop masturbating your bird. The constant petting, preening, kissing, hugging, and other contact owners have with their birds sexually stimulating them which causes problems. Parrots do these things when they want to mate. Having a human rub their rumps and armpits is telling the bird you are feeling sexy and this causes mixed signals and many behavioral problems. Birds should only be petted on the top of their heads.

Provide your bird with lots of toys and the ability to forage. Hiding food in paper wrappers boxes that have to be opened is mentally stimulating and keeps them busy. Simply reaching into a bowl to get seed is boring and leaves lots of time to do other things like pluck feathers.

Get regular vet care. Parrots and other birds need to be seen by the vet at least once a year for examinations and lab work. Often vets see them when a problem has been going on far too long and we cannot fix it. Blood work can be expensive but if we can find a problem while still early the odds are it can be fixed without permanent damage that will be even more expensive.

Proper care of parrots is something I am passionate about and I get LOTS of pushback from owners because the way they want to own birds is not the way birds should be owned. We want these cuddly friends that we can play with and snuggle and spoil with treats, just like dogs and cats. When someone finds out that actually all of those things are bad they dismiss it because it doesn’t fit with their world view. This post alone is going to likely cause some ruffled feathers (see what I did there?) because the facts presented aren’t popular. All we can continue to do is educate and advocate for the animals and hope that it makes a difference.

Attack on Titan Audioplay Masterlist

Here is a collection of all the Attack on Titan audioplays and audiodramas that are either complete, active, or semi-active. Some of these projects may be abandoned without my knowledge but all the project blogs have been posted on sometime between August-November. Please let me know if I missed any and I will update this list. 

This list was posted on 11/21/14 so all dates below will reflect that. 


Attack on Space - Completed on 9/7/14 - It has been 1000 years since Earth’s destruction. The remnants of humanity now reside within three massive Arks, traveling through space towards a new home. As massive creatures known as Titans begin to appear, threatening mankind’s existence, a single boy from Ark Maria vows to protect what’s left of his people.


Survey Corpse - Latest episode posted on 12/13/14 - 14 episodes - A zombie apocalypse AU parody of the popular anime “Shingeki no Kyojin,” also known as Attack on Titan.

Wings of Rebellion - Latest episode posted on 9/14/14 - 2 episodes - A canon AU themed around the unlikely appearances of once-pronounced deceased soldiers… And the controversy their secrets trigger.

Attack on Kaiju - Latest episode posted on 11/22/14 - 1 episode - A crossover between Pacific Rim and Attack on Titan.

Attack on Sea - Prologue posted on 7/4/14 - 1 episode (prologue) -  The characters from Attack on Titan take on their first voyage in search of new land, only to find terrors beyond their strangest of nightmares; Vicious Mermaids, Giant Squid, Sea Serpents, and worst of all… possible traitors.

Attack on Strings - Episode 0 posted on 11/5/14 - 1 episode (episode 0) - An audioplay based on kenjiandcompany’s fanfiction “Strings”

Attack on Heroes - Latest episode posted on 12/2/14 -  3 episodes - The story centers around 104th, Metahumans - or, supers - who have been granted admission to a specialized Academy as well as placed under the tutelage and mentoring of the Legion. Problems arise when Eren, the only one without powers, is targeted by an formerly disbanded organization, T.I.T.A.N.


Attack on Corruption - Latest project update on 9/28/14 - An assassin AU about a group of freedom fighters trying to take back independence from a terrorist group called that Titans. 

Attack on Dead - Latest project update on 10/4/14 - A viral and lethal disease has spread around Earth, the planet we call our home, causing an epidemic that mankind would have never expected. 

Attack on Kitchen - Latest project update on 10/8/14 - In the middle of a bustling city, three restaurants are the talk of the town. Competition between the three is tight and they’re definitely not above sabotage. From stealing ingredients to bribing critics, there’s always a scandal or scheme underway.

Shingeki no Freak Show - Latest project update on 10/4/14 - Eren dreams of traveling the world and eventually decides to run away during the night with his sister and closest friend, Armin. The three find their way to the mythical troupe, the legendary titans, the famed Ailes du Cirque. Shingeki no Actors - Latest project on update 8/25/14 - Armin Arlert relieves a large role in a highly anticipated television series, Attack on Titan. The filming is running smoothly, until slowly problems begin to unravel. They start small, comical almost, but soon grow bigger. Death threats, toppling filming sets, and warning gunshots apprise the actors of the threat.  Shingeki no Fairytale - Latest project update on 10/23/14 - Retellings of many famous fairy tales (and Disney stories) all featuring your favorite Attack on Titan characters. (as a personal addendum, please go listen to some of the songs on their blog’s autoplay. It’s a magical experience) Screams of Sina - Latest project update on 11/8/14 - Hello and welcome to the tour of the old Sina mansion! People say that you can still hear the old residents if you just listen close enough. So why not record the entire journey to see what you can catch? Love, Titan - Lastest project update on 11/21/14 - High School Host Club and Attack on Titan AU.

Currently Auditioning:

Attack on Six - Latest project update on 11/16/14 - Attack on Titan characters set in the story of Big Hero 6.


A four-month-old kitten was presented for labored breathing and lethargy. She also had a mild fever. In the exam room she had a stiff upright posture, the better to breathe. She would not lay down.

The owners were hoping the symptoms were related to recent vaccines the kitten had received. I was hoping they were due to a bad case of pneumonia we could treat with antibiotics, but kept the specter of feline viral diseases in the back of my mind. Sadly, the radiographs confirmed that it wasn’t pneumonia, but instead a vast amount of fluid that had pooled in the chest between the lungs, keeping them from expanding. Pleural effusion is never a benign finding and in a young kitten with no history of trauma, feline infectious peritonitis (FIP) is by far the most likely cause.

FIP responds poorly to treatment, has no cure, and is invariably fatal. It is a mutated form of coronavirus (which is typically harmless) that triggers a fatal, overwhelming response from the immune system, and can kill in months to days. It is not contagious between cats, though the benign, non-mutated coronavirus is.

The kitten’s respiratory distress was worsening so the owners elected euthanasia. After it had passed a needle inserted into the chest cavity allowed me to withdraw this straw-colored fluid, which was sticky to the touch and had a total protein measuring 6.0; FIP typically produces a straw-colored effusion with TP of 3.5 or higher.

It’s a diagnosis I hate giving and I hate having nothing really good I can do for it.

This really struck a chord with me.

The misconception about GMO is that plant genetics are altered by means of chemicals developed in a lab.

The truth is GMO is solely SELECTIVE BREEDING. Remember in high school learning about Gregor Mendel, the father of modern day genetics? Remember learning about heredity and traits and whether the alleles are homozygous or heterozygous?

We’re doing the exact same practice as he did! In a theoretical situation using wheat as an example, a variety that is more resistant to diseases such as rust, spot mosaic, and root rot will be crossed with a less resistant variety. This would be the F1 generation that can be crossed increasingly to have a further generations that are almost if not entirely immune to bacterial, viral, and parasitic diseases. No chemicals!
Moreover, we have been selective breeding for thousands of years from the very start of domesticating crops to the show dogs you see on tv.

Instead of digesting whatever the tv feeds you, educate yourself through research of reputable sources to know the truth and make up your own mind rather than having it made up for you.

Don’t be a sheeple.


hellooo i’ve been working on this for about two weeks now, and i’m so sorry it’s taken so long but its finals week and i’ve been real busy studying so i decided i’d stay up late this weekend to finish it off for you guys and it’s currently 4:13 am and i’m sitting in bed with my mac and a headache but anything for you guys, right? 

also it would be hella cool if you guys requested a part two to this because i’ve already got it planned out in my head :-))))

word count - 4289

warning - heartbreak, pain, angry!calum, and a bit of smut ((its not full-on, but its there))

Y/N - Your Name

Y/F/N - Your Friend’s Name

Y/C/N - Your City’s Name

Calum had just broken up with you and since you were the kind of girl who would rather push her emotional state and affairs way under, and ignore it, hoping that the pain would just go away in time, you had given yourself exactly a week to be all heartbroken, moping and crying and dreaming and wondering what would happen to you now that the love of your life was gone. After that, you would force yourself to get back into your life the way it had been before Calum had entered the picture and turned your peaceful, orderly life into a chaotic, overwhelming mess - although you had to admit, you preferred the mess because it meant that Calum was still around - After all, you had survived before without him, and you were determined to do it again, to prove all the tabloids that were spouting crap about you since you were no longer under Calum’s wing and therefore was owed no mercy by the gossips wrong, that you could survive without Calum Hood.

You were in the newest club in the city, CRAZE, and it was filled to the brim with throngs of people, underage and legal alike, with all kinds of crazy gear-ups that NYC was so famous for. You were dressed in a black dress that hugged your curves and your feet were clad in your favourite pair of black stilletos. You held your seventh drink of the night, a vodka shot that had been bought by the not-so-lovely-anymore man down the bar who now had his hands up the skirt of a bleached blonde girl. It might’ve been your seventh drink but it didn’t matter. It never did. You were renowned for your ability to hold your liquor, and it never mattered if you were on your fifth drink, your tenth drink or your twentieth drink. You never woke up with hangovers, much to the dismay of all your friends who constantly complained about their pounding headaches after a night of vigorous clubbing. You had never been drunk either, and it made you especially secure in the knowledge that you would never have the horrid experience of being taken advantage of when you weren’t sober.

After spending a good half of the night sitting at the bar contemplating your life and the choices that brought you to this point, your friend decided that it was enough and that it was time for you to let your hair down.

“Come on, Y/N! it’s been ages since you had fun, all this crying and moping isn’t healthy for anyone!”

Y/F/N pulled you off your seat and into the dancing crowd, laughing at your pained expression.

“Honestly, Y/N. he’s gone and it’s time to wake up! Show him what he’s missing! You’re better than some asshole that breaks up with you because he’s afraid of committing and you deserve better.” Her words broke through a barrier in you that you hadn’t even known existed, and you realised that your friend was right. It was time to let go, and move on. You had had enough of sitting around and waiting for him to pick up all your broken pieces. It was time to pick yourself up, and put yourself back together.

You felt yourself relax in days, and you started to lose yourself in the pounding music. As you let go on the dance floor, you felt someone come up to you. You smiled to yourself, happy in the knowledge that you were still attractive to the opposite sex.

“Hey babe,” the husky voice whispered in your ear. The two of you started to get into the music as you grinded against him.

It had been hours since you started out on the dance floor and you were well and truly exhausted. You headed to the bar and you spotted the guy that you had started out dancing with. He was tall, so tall that you had to crane your head up to look at him properly. He had a perfectly quiffed head of blond hair and piercing blue eyes that seemed to look at you and into you, as if he could read right into your soul with just one look. He was dressed in a black band tee and black skinny jeans that hugged his legs so perfectly it made you jealous. You frowned, wondering where you’d seen him before. You were pretty sure you knew the guy from somewhere.

“It’s rude to stare, y’know.” He cocked a smile and raised his beer bottle.

You blushed, mumbling a soft apology and staring at the ground, your cheeks burning with embarrassment.

He laughed, a bright cheery sound that seemed at odds with the dark and gloom of the club. “Y’know, I don’t think I’ve met anyone as honest as you ever.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you looked up at him in puzzlement.

“Usually when someone says “it’s rude to stare”, girls usually scoff and deny that they were staring but you didn’t even seem to think of that.” He smiled sheepishly at his apparent lame explanation and you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips.

“Right, uhmm…” He scratched the back of his neck, looking awkward and nervous. It was a cute combination that you didn’t expect, in all honesty. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“Wha- Oh. Oh. Of course.”

You both laughed at your awkwardness and he motioned to the bartender, signalling for two new beers since he’d finished his already.

“I’m Luke.” Oh my God, Luke! No wonder he looked familiar. You had met Calum’s bandmates on a few occasions before but you were always in a rush and never really had any chance to talk to them, apart from Ashton whom you had already been friends with beforehand. Luke extended a hand to you, the gesture so formal in the casual club that you burst out laughing.

“Y/N,” you replied, smiling.

As you both chatted and laughed, you felt yourself relaxing the way you had on the dance floor. Luke’s hand creeped towards yours slowly and when he finally put his hand over your small one and started rubbing soothing circles with his thumb, you smiled, not minding it at all and he smiled back, obviously relieved.

You were relieved too, since during your long conversations throughout the whole night, he seemed in tune with your thoughts and had steered clear of any and every topic that could possibly lead to Calum. Instead, you had talked about world issues, a subject that you loved but hardly anyone ever wanted to discuss with you. To your surprise, Luke was actually fairly knowledgeable in that department and you had both managed to have quite an enjoyable conversation with each other.

Suddenly, Luke’s eyes widened at something behind you and he stood up so quickly he almost tripped over the leg of the stool and stumbled back, staring behind you like he had just saw a ghost.

Confused, you turned around to see what was so terrifying that had Luke cowering in fear.

When your eyes landed on the sight that had Luke stumbling away from you like you were some kind of viral disease, you gasped. You immediately understood why Luke was so scared.

Your ex, Calum was striding towards the bar with an expression dark enough to summon thunder clouds and his hands were clenched into fists, his entire body pulsing with tension. He was dressed in his uniform band tee with numerous holes in it and ripped skinny jeans, feet clad in black boots that probably cost more than your entire outfit put together, and you couldn’t deny it. He looked good, really good, and you felt a pang in your heart because he wasn’t yours anymore. In fact, tabloids had reported that he had been already seen out with another girl, a famous model that you knew was better suited to him and his lifestyle. (Yes, you still kept up with his news, but that was only because you were still in the one week moping period, you swear.)

You frowned, wondering what the hell was he doing here. You kept in contact with Ashton, so you knew that they were on a break from tour, but as far as the world knew, they were all supposed to be in Sydney with their families, not in Y/C/N. As Calum neared you, your heart started to pound. What if you had to talk to him? What if he asked you how were you? Were you supposed to tell him the truth, that you felt like shit and that you didn’t know what to do anymore, now that he had left and all you had was a huge gaping hole in your heart that ached everyday and that you doubted would ever heal? Or were you supposed to smile and pretend like every second spent knowing that he didn’t love you anymore didn’t hurt like there was a fucking meteor crashing into you? What if he punched Luke? Oh God, what if he punched Luke? He wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was just keeping you company. And after all, you’d broken up already. Oh God, that was too painful to think about, no no. Oh shit, no, don’t think about it. You desperately tried to get your mind to shut up and calm your racing heart down but it was to no avail.

When he reached your seat at the bar, you’d expected him to stop but to your surprise, he walked right past you towards Luke, his expression still raging. Oh shit. Fuck. Fuck. This is all my fault. When he reached Luke, Luke opened his mouth to say something but before the words even had the chance to be voiced, Calum’s fist had connected with Luke’s jaw and before you knew it, Luke was on the floor, curled up with both hands cupped around his chin. You gasped and ran towards Luke, crouching down beside him, eyes wide with concern.

“Luke! Are you okay? Does it hurt?” Your tone was worried, almost frantic. You turned to Calum and shot him a death glare. “What is wrong with you? You can’t just burst into bars and randomly punch people. He’s your bandmate, for Christ’s sake!”

Calum returned your stare with a long look before clenching his teeth and managing, “That’s the more reason.”

Excuse me? What do you mean “that’s the more reason”? How is Luke being your bandmate even more reason for you to punch him? God, Calum, you really are an asshole.” You rose to your feet and stood protectively in front of Luke with your arms crossed across your chest, as if you could prevent Calum from hitting him again. Luke groaned and you whipped around, staring at him worriedly.

“Y/N, it’s fine. I promised Calum I’d look out for you when he found out that I was coming over to Y/C/N and I didn’t. Instead, I made a move on you. I was wrong. Don’t get mad at Calum, we had a deal.” He pleaded with you, but you were outraged.

What? So you knew all along, and you didn’t even tell me? And why is it wrong that you made a move on me? What’s wrong with that? I’m not dating Calum anymore.” You saw Calum flinch at your words but you didn’t care. You were sick of his bullshit. You frowned. You didn’t get it, this whole thing was getting more and more pointless.

Calum made a noise in the back of his throat and grabbed your arm, dragging you out of the club. “I’ll deal with you tomorrow, Hemmings.” He called back to Luke whilst pulling so hard on your arm you were certain it would leave marks. You exited the club and Calum started signalling for a taxi, one hand still gripping yours tightly.

You yanked your hand back with such force that Calum turned around in surprise, forgetting for a moment about calling a taxi. You crossed your arms again and glared at him, determined not to fall prey to his puppy-dog eyes and soulful expression; his plump lips and beautiful face… NO! Don’t think like that. He’s evil. He’s an asshole. A jerk. He left you. You forced yourself to repeat those words like a mantra inside your head. When you were dating and had gotten into arguments, you’d often find yourself giving into him just so he would stop looking at you with that wounded puppy expression but now, you were bent on standing your ground.

You were tired and annoyed and all you wanted to go home, in all honesty, but Calum kept you standing there. It wasn’t anything that he did; it was just him. You missed his presence, even though it had only been a few days and you were willing to stand there and absorb as much of him as you could, before he left again and you were left with an aching heart.

When he realised that you had nothing to say, he shrugged and turned back to the road, putting his hand out and calling for a taxi again.

“Calum,” you started.

He ignored you.

“Calum,” you tried again.

Still he ignored you.

Irritated now, you repeated his name again. “Calum Thomas Hood. I swear to God if you don’t turn around and start explaining what the fuck just went on in that club I will cut off your balls and mince them and cook them and then serve them to you for your supper.”

You saw Calum shudder and you stifled a laugh. He turned around and looked at you, eyebrows raised. “Explain what?” He sounded so cocky, as if he hadn’t just punched his best mate to the ground.

You glared at him even more, wondering if it was possible for your eyes to shoot laser to make him feel pain and answer the goddamned question. It was what they did in movies, anyway.

Calum shrugged again. “He was flirting with you.” He sounded matter-a-fact, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“So? Why can’t he flirt with me? You don’t own me, Calum. And we’re not even dating anymore. In fact, you broke up with me. You called it off. Not me. And now you’re here losing your shit over something you orchestrated?” You shook your head. “That’s not how it works. When you break up with someone, you have no right, no right, to them anymore.”

“Oh yeah? You’re mine. Mine, you understand?” He pulled you towards him and tilted your chin, pressing his lips to yours roughly. You tried to fight it, but you could feel the tension going out of your shoulders and you could feel your traitorous body moulding into his in such a way that neither could tell where each other began and ended. This, this feels like home. This is home. You surrendered momentarily to the blissful peace you felt whilst with Calum, before being yanked away suddenly when he pulled away.

He smirked at you knowingly. “See? You are mine. No one knows you like I do, no one can kiss you in exactly the way you crave to be kissed, no one knows how to love you like I do. Only I know all your quirks and flaws.”

You blinked, flustered. “That’s not fair! You can’t use physicality to disarm me. You’re cheating. And I’m not a thing. You can’t “own” me, Calum.”

He simply smiled. “Your body doesn’t say so.”

Suddenly, a taxi screeched to a stop and you both jumped, startled out of your little bubble of conflict.

Calum motioned towards the taxi and when you refused to get on, he’d simply sighed and proceeded to scoop you up, quite literally bridal style, and deposited you into the back seat of the taxi before sliding in gracefully after you. As he leaned forward to speak to the driver, you found yourself admiring his profile. He was all angles and sharp lines: a strong jaw and delicate cheekbones; sharp collarbones and broad shoulders; big hands and long limbs. You always wondered how he managed to do everything with such grace when he was all limbs; you were so short and yet you were such a klutz; especially compared to Calum.

During the car ride, you noticed that Calum had evidently relaxed and his hands had slackened. You frowned, immediately on guard. I thought we were going to have a fight. I wanted to have a fight.

Suddenly the car pulled to stop beside a huge fancy sign that read, “The Ritz-Carlton Y/C/N” and you inwardly groaned. You’d always hated it whenever Calum brought you to fancy places because you were the last person to ever fit in but you’d always accepted it because it was what his identity required. Now, you weren’t willing to make the sacrifice for him anymore.

The paparazzi and news reporters swarmed the taxi once they realised who was seated inside and you felt the familiar pounding of your heart that started whenever you were caught in the flocks of fans and nosy reporters that followed Calum like bees attracted to the pollen in flowers. You were scared to death of being trampled or hurt by the pushing crowd; especially more so ever since that one time where Calum received a bloody huge gash on his arm and had the sleeve of his tee torn off by one of the over enthusiastic fans.

Calum noticed your hesitation and immediately put an arm around you protectively as you exited the car, hunching his body around yours as a shield.

He had you pinned against the room door, his hands roaming your sides as his lips crashed onto yours.

“Mhmm baby girl, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.” He mumbled into your ear as you felt his arms snake around your waist and his lips ghost over your collarbone and slowly make his way up to your weak spot, delicately placing kisses on your soft skin that made you forget how he had left you in the middle of the night save for a note the next morning that read “you’re better off without me, i don’t deserve you. sorry.” He bit down softly and you moaned, wondering what the actual hell was going on.

You couldn’t think about anything but him. 

He made quick work of your dress, unzipping it and sliding it off you in one single fluid motion, like he had done a thousand times. His hands ran down your back with a feather-light touch to unclip your bra, his eyes widening fractionally as he realised that you weren’t wearing one. The smirk on your lips grew as his hands cupped your breasts, his thumbs running over your nipples.

You knew that this was wrong, wrong on so many levels and that the most rational and practical thing to do was to slip your dress back on and demand that he either followed you to a public place where you could talk, or that he leave and never, ever, turn up again. But you were tired of being responsible, of being the sensible one, and for once you wanted to follow your gut and do what you wanted, not what you should. You wanted this, you wanted Calum, and so you gave in, and relinquished all control that night.

In the end, there was no screaming matches of who was right and who was wrong; there were no vases being thrown at each other; and there were no punches directed at the wall, because you were fragile and a girl and he loved you and his mother taught him never to hit a girl.

In the end, there was only the divine feeling of flesh on flesh, skin pressed against skin, hands running down sides like a beautiful, twisted dance.

Your mouths were a messy tangle of lips and teeth, of tongue and saliva, and at one magnificent moment when he thrusted into you, the world couldn’t tell where he ended and where you began.

He pulled out of you, head collapsing on you chest tiredly. “Y/N?” He mumbled as you played with his hair.

“Hmm?” Came your reply.

“I’m sorry I left you. I was an idiot. I love you.” His voice was solemn and you thought he sounded genuine but at his words, all the anger and sadness that you had pushed down during the night came rising back to the surface and you felt the overwhelming emotions as they threatened to engulf you.

You made an incoherent sound and he nodded, dozing off, his arms wrapped around you like he couldn’t get enough and he was afraid that you’d run away.

Silly boy.

You did. Run away, you meant. You made sure he was fast asleep before slowly, painstakingly removed yourself from his clutches in a way such that he wouldn’t realise you were gone until the morning after. You put a bolster in your place to fool him and you knew him well enough to know that it would work.

As you got dressed, you thought about what you would write in your note. Of course you would write a note. It had started with a note, then it had ended with a note. Now, it was going to end again with a note.

Dear Calum, I love you a lot and although it breaks my heart to write th- 

No, too gushy.

Fuck you, asshole.

No, too harsh. His fragile heart would break and you couldn’t bear to do that to him.

I wish I still loved you the way you still love me.

No, too much of a lie and you doubted he would believe it anyway.

I’m better off without you, you don’t deserve me. Sorry.

Perfect. A parody of his the day he left, and in the exact same way. How fitting it was, to have him receive a note exactly like the one you did, and for the exact same reasons.

You walked over to the bedside table and picked up the pen, your hand moving swiftly across the page and words spilled out beneath your pen nib.

After you finished the note, you left the room, closing the door behind you quietly so as not to wake him from his slumber. Let him enjoy a few more hours before he has his heart broken. Hah! Serves him right, you thought gleefully.

You knew through experience that there would most likely be fans camped outside the hotel entrance and so you went up to the lobby and requested that they allowed you to use the staff entrance, and the receptionist at the counter knew you well enough, and knew well enough who you were to understand and so you left, slipping silently through big metal doors, your heart breaking into tiny pieces as you walked away slowly, determined not to look back.