BeethOVEN
BeethSTOVE

MozART
MozPHYSICALEDUCATION

RachmaninOFF
RachmaninON

SCHUmann
SOCKmann

HAYDn
SEEKn

MENDelssohn
BREAKelssohn

BARtok
FAMILYORIENTEDFOODANDREFRESENTESTABLISHMENTtok

COPland
ROBBERland

PagaNINI
PagaNANNY

ROSSini
TJMAXXini

FAURé
FROMé

Instruments renamed
  • Piccolo: scream maker
  • Flute: tooty toot
  • Oboe: quack machine
  • English horn: goose simulator
  • Clarinet: blue
  • Bassoon: rolling marbles
  • Saxophone: sexy quacking
  • French horn: star wars?
  • Trumpet: blemp
  • Trombone: fart machine
  • Tuba: big fart machine
  • Violin: crying children
  • Viola: firewood
  • Cello: delta faucet commercial music
  • Bass: bwah
Butt music. Literally.

This is taken from the painting: The Garden of Earthly Delights

Now look closely…

And if you are curious as to what it sounds like here is the music for this artwork here it is:

You learn something new everyday ;)

composers and their descriptions

Bach: polyphony is the new black

Haydn: surprise motherfucker

Mozart: some people just never grow up :/

Beethoven: some people just never grOW OUT OF THEIR EMO PHASE

Tchaikovsky: sad, gay, and ready to slay

Brahms: the song Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne was written specifically for him

Liszt: ill play you a piece if you strip on the piano

Rachmaninoff: this footlong handspan is compensating for something else

Wagner: wow i cant believe he stole lord of the rings

Strauss: you stop dancing, you die

Berlioz: *vapes*

Sibelius: nature is here and shes looking more beautiful than ever

Mahler: nature is here and shes PISSED

Shostakovich: fuck stalin, fuck the police, fuck tonality

Respighi: nature is here and shes a man

Messiaen: is there a subtype of furries specifically for birds?

Schoenberg: why limit yourself to just one key?

Ives: why limit yourself to just 12 notes?

Britten: gay? never heard of it

Grainger: nobody will comment on your bdsm roleplay if you write catchy tunes

Gershwin: ooooooooowwWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA

Reich: clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap

Glass: play these 8 measures 37 times then repeat

Cage: *drags piano bench across the stage then walks offstage*

Williams: HOOOOOOORRRRRRRNNNNNNSSSSSSS


feel free to add more