I’d like to talk about Mutsuki reaction in this chapter.
Let’s start with His childhood. I don’t know if it’s because of the way his father treated him or if it was since the beginning but Mutsuki never really feel like a woman, he was already uneasy about his gender when he was a kid. He was also the victim of physical abuse by his father, but not only physical it’s obvious that Mutsuki has been raped. An action that was described as « show me your love ». It is HORRIBLE.
Then when Mutsuki get out of this hell (by murdering his family) and found some peace at the CCG’s academic, he was bullied by the other kids, and so his bad behavior stayed.
Mutsuki always has had hard time with men, violence and abuse. It was a sort of hurting relation, you hurt me so I hurt you. You take from me, I take it back. In order to save him, his own brain erased those memories, like Kaneki when Arima said that everyone in anteiku was dead. That’s why he knew nothing about his family murder. It’s because his brain has shut those memories down.
I don’t think that we can blame those other kids. Because from their point of view Mutsuki was horrible and disgusting (there it is, Ishida’s wonderful writing). Will you become friend with someone that murder cats and is suspected to have murdered his family ? Not me tho, but those kids didn’t knew Mutsuki’s past and they have their own buisness to take care, welp nevermind…
When Mutsuki got nominated as a Quinx, Haise happen to be his superior and they all lived under the same roof. Haise has been the first man to accept Mutsuki and to take care of him but more important Haise is litteraly a flower in the garden of The Grim reaper itself !
And all of sudden a sweet boy like Haise comes in and start taking care of you like his own child, and give again and again without asking anything in return expect respect and mutual understanding. I’m sure that thanks to Haise sweet behavior, Mutsuki stopped feeling the need to hurt others back, and was finally able to get some peace of mind. And then Mutsuki slowly began to Fall in love for him (who wouldn’t ?!)
But due to circumstances, Kaneki has return and Haise is no more (I’m still crying over Haise T-T). Kaneki ask to be discharged of the quinx and start his own investigation about Takatsuki and Aogiri. He leaves the quinx, leaves Mutsuki. Which probably hurt him more than we can think.
And happen Torso’s kidnapping, and abuse. He had to act like a girl, to be forcefully nice and gentle to him. Which led Mutsuki to remember his past, to remember everything that he loathed, to remember this twisted relation with men. And so Mutsuki’s bad behavior comes back. I kind of see that the loss of Haise hurt him so hard that he couldn’t help but to hurt others. Passing the pain can help.
And now, after all this time, after all of those repressed feelings and emotions, Haise reappeared in front of Mutsuki. Can you imagine the fucking stab in the chest ?!! Seeing your dear loved one in front of you after he completly vanished ? Mutsuki’s brain probably stop fonctionning correctly right there. And the heart and feelings overcome the mind.
Being able to touch and be with the one he carved attention from led Mutsuki to act the way he did. He referred to himself as a « female » and during all his life as a female he was manhandled and abuse. Remember his father’s « show me how much I’m the best dad ? », welp, it came back. And since Mutsuki always been told that a woman and a male have no choice but to love each other.
Here’s Torso’s reaction when Mutsuki rejected his compliments
Mutsuki probably feels the need to show his love to Haise that way. But All he knew was litteraly violence which explain the stab in the throat and « sexual affection » (I really dislike this term but it’s the truth). This all he can do now because he doesn’t know how to deal with his feeling any other way, because he’s hurt really deep inside him. The trauma from his past is still present. Please consider this.
This is just my thought, you have the right to not be in accord with me, and to discuss over it ! I’d just like to show that Mutsuki is not a horrible kid who’s hurting people for pleasure. There is a real trauma behind it and a reason. I’m not saying his right, I’m saying that he can’t know how to do right if all he’s experienced is wrong. Mutsuki needs someone to guide him and to be there for him. I’m thinking about Urie right now, sadly Urie’s love will never get return (at least I don’t think so).
Thank you for reading so far, I hope that I wasn’t to boring aha ! I’m still new to this so I might be unclear sometimes sorry.