violated

4

Ok…so, I was on okc trying to find someone to date/maybe have something casual with. I’m a strong independent woman who is comfortable with her body. I was texting a guy named Derrick (okc profile and Facebook page) when he asked for a pic of me in my bra. I figured it would be ok since we’d been texting for a bit and he seemed like a really nice trustworthy guy.Well, as soon as I texted him the pic this happened….

Even though I feel extremely violated right now, I refuse to be blackmailed into whatever he wanted me to do. I have been through enough bullshit in my life to last me until I’m 200 years old. I was sexually assaulted in high school and lived with an emotionally and psychologically abusive stepmother while growing up. I have so many self-image issues that I could fill a book the size of the entire Harry Potter series with them. I do not need to deal with shit like this from people. I will not stand for shit like this. So what I ask is that whoever sees this, to please, please, please for the love of humanity, block this guy. Even though his profile says that he’s a “ Im nice kind loving caring funny honest guy. ” he isn’t.

Update: He’s apparently put it up on a porn site as well as Facebook. I refused to be ashamed of this. I will not allow this…I hesitate to call him a man because no man would ever do this to another human being…this…varmint to have that kind of control over me. I refuse to be a victim.

Jenny: “Do you have any sisters?”
Mark: “Yes, I have two younger sisters.”
Jenny: “Okay. I want you to ask them a question. And the most important thing is that you really listen to their answer. I want you to ask your sisters about the very first time that they were intruded upon by some man or a boy.”
Mark: “What makes you think that my sisters have been intruded upon?”
Jenny: “Because there isn’t a single girl or woman in this world that hasn’t been intruded upon, and sometimes it’s relatively benign, and sometimes it’s so fucking painful. But you have no idea what this feels like.”
—  The L Word
Swtfa ships
  • Stormpilot:the beautiful gay pride trash that belongs in a recycling bin
  • Finnrey:that trash that no one is unfairly bothered by it when it's just sitting there on the grass
  • Kylux:the trash that is sin within all,goes into dumpsters with high speed internet and is an automatic highway to hell
  • Reylo:the actual trash that needs to be burned and never to be seen again but in our horrible nightmares
Violated

“Violated”

It hovers over you at night with your back against,
The fence; it covers the creepy smile; it prevents,
Your lover from invading your personal dreams,
It haunts your memories for whenever it seems,
Like you can forget but you can’t really remember,
And to dismember yourself from that which was splendor.
You render yourself helpless to the embers you choose.
You prove to yourself some tender memories you lose.

It latches onto you like a germ and its host,
And feeds off your daydreams; some good and the most,
Ghostly figures appear in fear like a roast,
Stretching from ear to ear and from coast to coast.
It dances on the brink of your self-destructive state,
And makes decisions tougher to decide your own fate,
And while some break there are those who can say,
They pray so often in hopes of another day.

If you resort to pills and medicine as a solution,
It breaks down your nerves into further delusions.
The two mixed together can cause such illusions,
Like false promises of hope at its conclusion.
It can force you to break down and abruptly cry,
Sometimes without any explanation as to why.
It takes a toll on your emotional and physical,
And makes you wish sometimes you were invisible.

It triggers wildly from the most subtle of things,
Like sunsets or roses and the beauty it brings.
All of it ruined because of the past and what happened,
Faces now smiling become suddenly saddened.
It sends you into a whirl of the craziest spin,
And begins to devour your soul set within,
And when you recover it hovers some more.
It can’t be stored in a closet or placed in a drawer.

It throws you in a spiraling hole of this and which,
You silence yourself and roll in a ditch,
Of empty water where you can sleep with the dirt,
In order to cope with yourself and the hurt.
It delivers in slivers every now and once more,
Like the goriest of movies in which blood so does pour,
And roars like the wind in which your broken blinds swore,
They would protect your innocence and help you ignore.

It sickens me that this could happen to those,
Smitten with despair from woefully foes.
Stricken with distraught they walk away from it now,
Somewhat damaged and yet somehow proud.
Because to survive a tragedy as invasive as this,
Is something anyone would now and forever miss.

It will yearn in your mind and slowly define,
Who you become and what you learn to find,
But to build up the courage to purge yourself from,
That which was done unfairly and shunned,
Away from others where the truth laid to vanish,
Is an amazing quality we all need when famished.

And I have to say I admire those who survive,
And gain once more control of their lives.
I can honestly say hopefully I’ll never know the thrill,
Of what its like to be violated against my will.