I’m opening ‘50 Shades of Grey’ to a random page and posting what I find. Part fourteen.
After our second time together, I felt adventurous.
“What if you stuck a Twizzler in my butt?” I asked.
“Twizzlers!” he shouted, spanking me hard, though not as hard as he did when I said wrong things. “They’re disgusting. I love everything that comes out of your butt, especially my love hot dog,” he said, gesturing between his legs at his love hot dog. “Except those. Twizzlers suck compared to Red Vines. Twizzlers taste like the cherry flavor in grownup cough syrup. Like it’s cherry flavor and clam sauce or something.”
He started rubbing me. “I love your clam sauce,” he said.
“Mmm,” I said.
“Let me have your hot clam sauce.” He kept rubbing me and grabbed a graduated cylinder and put it under me, where I was dripping sauce.
“I don’t know if I can…” I said.
“Sure you can. This is your clam, and it’s wet. Sea clams are wet all the time. You eat them raw, and they’re wet clams. I can’t cook your clam, but I can cook sea clams. Sea clams are different. You get them hot, and they’re rocks with meat inside.”
By the time he stopped talking I had filled the cylinder to the top with my clam sauce.
“You know, everyone who disagrees with me is wrong. Bottoms up,” he said, drinking it with my bottom in the air. I was at sea, but emotionally.