Why is a School Paper Parroting Mega-Stunt Talking Points?
- Styles was not alone however, and arrived with an impressive posse,
including an unknown companion he seemed particularly close with. “It
appeared as though he was with a friend who was from around the area and
she brought him to try cheesesteaks,” said Iezzi. Oh hey Xander.
- Harris has followed One Direction’s successes since 2011 and has a particular partiality for the long-locked frontman. “I like how kind and generous he is. Everyone thinks he’s a stuckup playboy but I disagree. He once spent his day off in Los Angeles giving out pizza to homeless people.” Harry is not a manwhore. He’s kind and generous.
- Some even took the opportunity to publicly question the legitimacy of the band’s achievements. A source that chose to remain anonymous remarked that, “[One Direction’s] music isn’t exceptional. It’s the same old recycled pop music from four, semi-attractive boys. The most attractive one’s gone.” he went on to comment that Zayn, the band member who departed from the group this past March was “easily the most attractive” and was, “scary in a sexy way.” If you’d like to know about how Scary Sexy Spice is transcending boyband life, his Interview magazine cover just hit today. How convenient.
- Though opinions regarding Styles and his career differ, that his presence was felt beyond the walls of Campus Corner is undeniable. Once word spread of his visit, mobs of young women, many of them Villanovan students, swarmed to the restaurant to see if they could catch a glimpse of the British icon. “There are girls crying out in front of the store,” Iezzi commented after Style’s departure. Don’t get it twisted though, Harry Styles is still that bitch. Girls are crying, dammit.
- Though much of the speculation of his appearance has been resolved, many
questions still remain. Why didn’t he go to Philadelphia to try a
Philly Cheesesteak? Did he enjoy it or were his foreign taste buds not
properly equipped to handle such a classic American dish? If his
“friend” really is from the area, can we expect a Villanova reference in
the next 1D album, a la Drake’s “DnF”? Riddle us this, readers: why is Harry Styles stuntin’ at Villanova? Trying to appeal to a slighty older demographic perhaps? What’s Xander got to do with Harry’s current narrative? Is a “soft” outing on the way? Friendly reminder, the 5th album is coming. Stay tuned…
None of this was coincidental or accidental. This was the incoming team 100%. They knew the fandom would find this. And what a clever way to reinforce their current narratives. Because on this surface this all looks relatively organic.
But make no mistake, there is a clear agenda here:
- 1. Kill the boyband thing.
- 2. Notice Xander dammit. Yes, we’re going somewhere with this.
- 3. Harry is not the hetero tramp 1DHQ has portrayed him to be. He has depth.
- 4. College chicks (i.e, older) dig Harry.
- 5. College chicks (i.e., older) really dig Zayn.
- 6. Please pay attention to OUR narratives.
- 7. Buy 1D’s 5th album, coming soon.