i can’t believe i’m still witnessing people getting salty over vik and kay (mostly irl, not so much anymore on social media, praise). i’m ashamed and disappointed to say that i am legitimately terrified for when simon gets a girlfriend - absolute hell will break loose.
So my laptop decided to be a little bitch while in the middle of the original and completely deleted it...so I've restarted! Enjoy! Feel free to reblog with some of your favorites from the latest Cards Against Humanity video that I might have missed!
"VikkStarInMyPussy123" is worse than Adolf Hitler because "stop talking with your gay mouth you fuck."
"Getting your dick stuck in a child and not being able to get it out in time. I'm looking at you Vikk." is worse than Adolf Hitler because "*card removed due to copyright from the cunt duo TheFineBros*"
Ethan:Josh has got dick on the brain.
Josh:You got dick in your mouth.
Ethan:No I don't. I got facecam on Josh I don't.
Simon:Thanks for clearing that up.
Ethan:Where is the behzfinger? Is this something you made up while-
Josh:It's on your hand!
"Ethan, channeling his anger by making a sexhole in his desk."
Ethan:I don't have sexholes in my desk.
Simon:They're called girlfriends.
Vikk:If you're six and watching this click off.
Josh:What? Hey, come to my channel! We don't have pedophiles over here!
After Josh rang the 'Ring for sex' bell, Fangirls tried-
"Go monkey man!" -FIFAMonstah
Why Josh won't release illuminate-
"Josh deep throating a fangirl when she has been a bad girl."
"Josh has millions of daughters trying to caress his pussy juice beard."
JJ:The thing is, you know Josh has had pussy on his beard, and it just lingered. That's why he showers all the time.
Simon:No, that's 'cuz he has hygeine. You should try it sometime.
The __ are back.
Simon:Mine makes sense.
JJ:I swear if it's niggers.
"Fangirls shouting "YOU DA MAN DADDY" when meeting Josh."
Simon woke up to find-
Ethan:I'm so sorry Vik.
"Vikk, changing his name from Vikkstar123 to Vikk1-9 because he only likes 1-9 year olds."
"JJ's big black dick as opposed to Tobi's successful youtube career."
JJ:What do you think we do when we're sleeping?
JJ:Naw, you gotta put your dick in something.
Ethan:You put it in your pillow!
JJ:Naw, I'm past that stage man. What you guys never fucked your pillow?
JJ:Fuck you guys you've never lived.
"KSI naming his girlfirend Melony coz melon."
"Vikk going to a playground and going down a slide hoping to end up in Madeleine McCann's DM's"
Hi, my name is-
"Creepy Uncle Zerkaa"
"JJ's EP - Sweep Up"
Bitch you got me "That's not me."
"Thquirrel, Roth Royth, and ahh...annn...annthrop....anthrop...thropolo....Fuck it you're not picking this card."
"JJ moving out of the house just live next door to Seana."
JJ:"Simon likes AJ3Scouser." Who the fuck is that?
"JJ thinking his fashion sense is sick, but actually looking like a bed sheet."
"Vik naming his child MySon456."
How does one become a member of the Sidemen? "You don't do them ting round here rudeboy."
"Negasonic Teenage Warhead"
"Vikk's pedophilic thoughts"
JJ:Why don't you stop mollesting kids?
Vik:No, yeah, sure, yeah, sounds great.
Ethan:Some things are hard to give up JJ. Bad habits never die.
Simon:Ethan, Lent's coming up soon.
Ethan:Oh, I've got to give up being gay?
Simon:No, not you.
Josh let JJ do __ to his beard.
"Dhinchak dhin dhinchak dhinchak"
"The many group chats dedicated to go to an event that the Sidemen are going to just to drag one of them in private and suck their dick."
Ethan:People are actually trying to put us in prison this is a problem.
JJ:If you're eighteen and up it's cool.
JJ:What do you mean "rah?"
Vikk:It didn't specify a gender there.
JJ:I wouldn't like a male...not that I don't like gays...
Simon:It's cool he has a gay uncle!
JJ:Yeah I have a gay uncle!
Simon:Stop talking about your guncle.
"I GOT MY DADDY LOOKS FROM DADDY JOSH!"
"__ U smart."
The only thing worse than Behz's twitter is "Vikk's amazon buying history of Chloroform and duct tape."
Simon:Yo Primark is sick!
Ethan:Going there and shopping gives me herpes.
"That video of Tobjizzle where he doesn't have a hat on."
Josh:Does that even exist?
Ethan:Yeah! Vikk's the chloroform man! That sounds like a superhero!
Ethan:When I wait for people to put answers in I just look at snapchat stories.
Simon:You have the shortest attention span. Actually, no JJ is up there as well.
JJ:I'm touching my dick right now so...
"Stephen Hawking being a better goalkeeper than Josh."
Josh:He has a machine to help him.
Collectively:How did that win? "Who's boobs are better CAN YOU KEEP UP?"
Ethan:Does anyone still have the GIF of JJ flexing his boob?"
Simon:Alright "Vikk Likkes__(NO 12 year olds)"
Ethan:Can we keep it as "likkes?"
Simon:That's all I'm saying.
Ethan:Josh is really enjoying that.
Josh:*giggling* What the fuck is that??
"Simon once tweeted about trying out Minecraft because he secretly has kids gasping for breath in his car."
Ethan:That's why Simon hasn't done a car video!
"Tobi dressing as a pink power ranger and fingerng a dogs red rocket til it cums piss."
"Whilst Vik is getting down with the 12 year olds, Josh likes to__"
Vikk:I almost want to say Josh likkes to.
Josh:*giggling* I don't know what I'm laughing at!
"Seana sucking off JJ's dad thinking it was him."
JJ:I don't know why everyone calls me jeed 'cuz its jide.
Jide screaming "__!" into the night, but nobody can tell where it's coming from because they can't see him.
"I'm gonna fuck your fucking fanny off you twat."
Simon:What the fuck is a clut?
Ethan:You can't fuck a clit team!
Simon:That's not even a clit!
Ethan:Fuck my clut!
Simon:My motha fuckin clut!
JJ:Fuck my clut yo!
Ethan:JJ cam you go red?
Simon:No, it's Greta going red.
Josh:You being racist Ethan?
Ethan:NO I was just pondering if he could go red...
"Behzinga the minger fingerer"
"The semen from Simon's dick slowly enters __s mouth."
Ethan:I don't like this.
Vikk:This game is getting really weird.
Josh:Its taken a weird twist at the end!
JJ:I feel like this is too descriptive...I can imagine it as well 'cuz I've seen his dick.
Simon:You're actually imagining my dick right now.
Josh:The semen slowly coming out of it...
Simon:Now Josh is imagining it.
"JJ misreading lyrics and singing 'Jail' by Awolnation."
Ethan:*say quietly* Jail. *giggles*
"I don't fuck with you, you little stupid ass bitch, I ain't fucking with__"
Josh:You need to read this properly!
"When Behz claims he's committing to YouTube."
"Vikk being a slow fuck and being told to curry up."