vigor set

To my recent unpleasant surprise, allergies aren’t something you’re stuck with your entire life. They are for some people, and my heart goes out to them. I don’t know why we don’t have annual telethons raising money to help lifelong seasonal allergy sufferers pay their Claritin and tissue bills. My mom’s side of the family is where this new nemesis of mine comes from. They didn’t feel the torment of allergies until well into their 20s. I followed a similar path.

Twenty-eight is when things started to go awry. Scratching one small eye itch could trigger an itch that could go on for days and stop just before I took a back-scratcher to my corneas. Things have ramped up since. One sneeze within 10 minutes of waking up is my body’s way of telling me I should sprinkle some blueberries and Benadryl on my morning oatmeal and call it a day. I don’t know what it’s like to breathe through my nose without fear that if I inhale too vigorously I’ll set off a chain reaction of sneezes lasting hours that very well could blow my brain out the back of my skull.

There’s such a wide variety of allergy pills and nasal sprays that finding the one that works best for me is nearly impossible. Once swallowed, some pills will take one look at your genetic makeup and go full diva as they refuse to work with that clown show of body. 

Puberty Sucks But Second Puberty Is Just The God-Awful Worst


Anon: Hii♥ I love your blog ohmygod. Can I request a song based scenario with mountain man Nakamoto Yuta?♥ Sugarcult - Memory pretty please♥

Genre:  Angst/Fluff/Unrequited Love

Yuta x Reader

He didn’t know why you both were laughing but somehow he ended up looking at you lose your mind over a long forgotten joke. Your hair were bright against the blazing sun. The tree that hung over you both cast a warm glow over your skin as he fixated his gaze on you. He wasn’t smiling but you didn’t see that. You weren’t aware of his suppressed feelings that ran so wildly inside him. 

“Oh Yuta, you’re a funny guy,” you said. He smiled and looked away. His arms rested on his knees which were up to his chest. 

“Am I know…” he muttered, smiling to himself. He scrunched his face into the sun, looking ahead. He tried to get rid of the butterflies in his stomach. You rested your head on his shoulder. He immediately looked over at you, not ready for such affection. You both were best friends after all. This was normal to you. And once in his life, it was normal for him too. But not since a while. Especially when he saw you that day on a date with this guy. The feeling of betrayal he felt was inexplicable. He felt guilty and ashamed for feeling that way. You were his best friend, independent to go out with whoever you wanted. It was none of his business. 

On most nights, he would go to clubs and flirt with other girls. He would drink and wink and sometimes dance too. On rare nights he would bring a girl home. Anything, anyone to get his mind off of you. Off your pink lips that curved so perfectly into the most breathtaking smile he had ever seen. Those eyes that were so deep and a gaze that was so dreamy, it melted him into a far off land. A place where he was free to touch you, where he could kiss you whenever he wanted to. A place where he could love you the way he had always wanted to without fearing rejection. A perfect blissful time just the two of you, happy and in love. His day dreaming about you had become a serious issue. He would often stare out the window, imagining your smile as he confessed. But he was so afraid of rejection. He could take anything. He could take the pain rendered by you not being close to him. But he could not bear you rejecting him.

“Is Y/N single?” His friend Taeil asked, mindlessly. He wanted to say you weren’t. He wanted to protect you. But from what? Taeil? The gentlest human in the world? “I saw her with you yesterday. You two seem pretty close.”

“Yeah, we’re just really good friend,” he replied, smiling slightly. He tried to appear casual about the issue but on the inside his heart was pumping vigorously. 

“Can you set us up? I think it’ll be awkward for us both if I just randomly went up to her.” Yuta nodded and promised him that he’ll work something out. That night, he didn’t sleep. He kept on staring at his phone that sat silent on the night table. The window was slightly ajar, the night beyond cold and breezy. A soft breeze brought in a whiff of perfume. It reminded him of Y/N. Her flowery scent so faint and distinctive. She smelled like a flowery meadow, each flower fresh and fragrant. Like when the fragrance of the flowers mingle with the fresh scent of the grass after a rainy day. That was what she smelled like. 

He stood up from the bed and walked over to the window, looking down on the quiet street. He could see the far of city lights twinkling in the distance. He wondered what you’d be doing. Probably working on some assignment, he thought. A smile invaded his face as he imagined your furrowed eyebrows and stiff face. How you would stick a part of your tongue out when you were concentrating. He imagined himself walking over to your busy body and giving you a warm embrace. He visualised your beautiful head against his chest and your dainty hands holding onto his back. That was what he wanted. 

He finally picked up his phone and called you, heart thumping against his chest as the call went through. “Hello?” You said into the phone. He paused for a minute and cleared his throat. 

“Yeah Y/N, hi,” he spoke. 

And why did our takoyaki prince suddenly decide to call me at this late hour?” Your voice was melodious to his ears.He was going to talk about Taeil but then he stopped. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you. 

“I just wanted to tell you to go to sleep early,” he lied. You chuckled through the phone, the laugh that made his legs weak.

How did you even know I was up?” 

“Because I know you very well.”

Well Na Yuta, you better go to sleep too.” You sounded tired. He leaned against the window sill and pictured you on your bed in your embarrassing pyjamas that you found so cute.

“Bye Y/N,” He said. You responded with a cheery good bye and hung up. He spent the night tossing and turning, the guilt eating him inside. But no matter what, he couldn’t let Taeil have you.

It had been a week. Yuta avoided Taeil at all costs. He couldn’t lie to the boy. But he had lied anyway. He pondered over everything. He finally decided that instead of running away from his raging feelings, he was going to confess. So on a rainy afternoon, he walked over to your dorms with a strong willed heart and a wide smile. That was when he saw you, standing in front of Taeil. You both looked as if you were engrossed in a serious conversation. And then suddenly, Taeil leaned down to kiss you softly. Yuta stood behind the tree and watched. His vision became blurry with slight tears as he saw you in his arms. 

He walked back to his room, head down. He was too late. His fear of rejection had robbed him of the one true love he had always imagined. Sometimes our imagination gets the best of us. It causes us to make castles in the sky. But hinders our path to make it happen. Fears that hold us back sometimes end in a disaster. Yuta knew he should have confessed a long time ago. As soon as he got home, he packed his bags (the little he had in his room) and left. He could never face you and Taeil. He never told anyone he was leaving and he didn’t want to. 

A/N: Hi, I didn’t really know what the true meaning of the song was. So I decided to concoct my own analysis and write it based off that. I’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted.

Adventures at Space Camp (2)

Read Chapter One here

Chapter Two: Sunrise 

The night air was chilly against his cheeks as Mike stepped out of Cabin 2C and into the overwhelming darkness of the woods. Steeling himself against the fear bubbling in his stomach, he began to march towards the trees but he hadn’t gone more than a few steps before he heard Dustin and Lucas bustle out after him, hissing that this was probably a terrible idea and urging him to turn around. Mike paused and waited for them to catch up, resolute in his plan—not that he had much of a plan.

“Do you even know where Jonathan’s cabin is?” Lucas asked when he and Dustin caught up to Mike’s side. He quickly flicked on his flashlight, accidentally shining it in Mike’s eyes as he did so.

“Not exactly,” Mike admitted, shielding his eyes, “And can you be careful with that thing?”  He continued down the path illuminated only by the pale and garish yellow beams of three flashlights, flanked by his friends. “But the counsellor’s cabins are that way,” Mike continued, vaguely waving a hand in front of him.

“This is a bad idea, guys,” Dustin whined, letting out a long, low sigh. “We don’t even have weapons.”

“Nothing’s hunting us,” Lucas rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to elbow Dustin in the ribs as they huddled together on the narrow path.

“That’s what you think,” Dustin whispered back sharply. As they reached a bend in the path, the boys heard the rustling of branches to their left and whipped around, their breath catching in their throats as a tall figure emerged out of the brush.

“What are you guys doing out here?”

Mike let out a sharp breath, the fear that had built up in his chest deflating as he realized it was just Steve Harrington standing in front of them, his arms crossed across his chest and the small smirk on his face just visible in the dim light.

“Lights out was half an hour ago,” Steve continued, lazily brandishing his flashlight in their direction. He recognized the messy dark hair and freckled face of Nancy’s little brother and laughed. “Never took you for the rebellious type,” he grinned in Mike’s direction, trying a joke that fell flat. Mike simply looked flustered.

“We were just—” Mike began, but Lucas cut him off, stepping forward.

“We wanted to check out the stars.” Lucas feigned an innocent little smile, the kind that never failed him when he had to charm his way out of trouble with the teachers at school. Steve nodded and shrugged, the smirk still playing on his lips—he knew that smile; he had practically invented it.

“Lots of time to do that,” he said pointedly, pointing them back in the direction they had come from. Defeated and with no other options, the boys turned on their heels and began the retreat back to their cabin, Steve lingering a moment longer to watch them go.

“What a douche,” Lucas muttered under his breath.

“Bet you hate that your sister has the hots for him,” Dustin nudged Mike in the ribs and the taller boy shoved him away, face scrunched up in disgust.

“Gross,” Mike mumbled, “And can you focus on Will for just one second? He’s still missing if you haven’t noticed.”

“Relax Mike,” Lucas patted him on the shoulder as they bustled back inside the cabin, “He probably got too scared to come back so he’s spending the night with Jonathan.”

“I guess,” Mike relented, climbing into his bunk. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was struck with an idea and reached down to the foot of his bed.

“The supercoms!” Mike exclaimed. Lucas and Dustin looked at him blankly from their own bunk for a moment before catching on, their eyes lighting up.

“Did Will bring his out?” Lucas asked. Without answering, Mike scrambled to the top bunk and rustled through Will’s sheets while Dustin rummaged through his luggage.

“It’s not here,” Mike announced after a moment.

“Not here either,” Dustin added, trying to straighten out the clothes he had strewn about on the floor.

“So he must have it,” Lucas said, bounding over to Mike and Dustin, “Try calling him.” Mike nodded vigorously and hurriedly  set his supercom to Channel 6, the the one they had all agreed upon earlier in the day.

“Will, are you there? Over.” Mike’s voice practically shook with hopeful anticipation.

The boys waited in tense silence for a moment, but there was nothing but faint static in response to their question. Mike felt deflated and tossed his supercom aside, frustrated.

“He’s got to be with Jonathan,” Lucas repeated, though he sounded less confident now. Mike and Dustin nodded lamely, an unspoken question lingering in the air. If Will was spending the night with his older brother, why wouldn’t he have called to let them know?

“Let’s just get some sleep,” Dustin suggested quietly, “Lucas is right.”

The boys each retired to their beds and Dustin put out the lamp with a faint goodnight. Mike closed his eyes, trying to catch sleep as he tossed and turned, hoping that Lucas was indeed right.

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anonymous asked:

What if Zelda and Link meet their s/o's spirit after calamity ganon

Zelda has already had one hundred years to grieve. She knew when she confronted Ganon that even if her love had managed to survive, she would never see them again. Still, the sight of her lost love does stir something deep in her heart. Instead of grief, she finds a small amount of joy. She never had a chance to say goodbye before and this small blessing can bring the closure she never had one hundred years ago. Happy that both Hyrule and the ghost of her love finally know peace, she returns to her duties with a renewed vigor and sets about gathering the remnants of a broken nation into a single, unified whole once more.

Link, as I indicated in my last post, meets the spirit of his significant other in game. Unfortunately by the time he and Mipha are reunited, he remembers little to nothing of the time they shared. A shared sunset atop of Vah Ruta. A feeling of warmth and healing. Vague fragments of a happy childhood spent up and down the Zora river. And beneath it all a strong sense of affection threading it all together. Somewhere in his soul Link feels a deep ache, a kind of powerful yearning but he does not know what it is for nor what can sate it. While his mind may have forgotten all the little moments and the feelings of love he once held, his heart still remembers. Of course, it is a yearning that can never be sated. After the defeat of Calamity Ganon, it began to fade over time. Mipha’s spirit departed and she would never want her beloved to remain unhappy, especially not knowing the reason why. In a way, this was her final gift of healing that she gave to Link. The freedom to find someone else and fall in love all over again.

- Lonely Voe

RUN IN {part 5 of RAP LINE LOVE}

Hobi walked out of the dance studio. His shirt was loose, but clung to parts of his chest because of the sweat, and his hair was completely out of sorts. He had just finished up with some last minute choreography, when he looked at his phone. No new messages. He sighed to himself. He was really hoping you had texted him in the few hours he had been practicing, but it seemed as though he was out of luck. Just as he thought that and rounded the corner, he almost ran head first into someone. Looking up, he saw your shocked face. You blushed when he looked at you with surprise laced throughout his features.

Hey! Y/N! What are you doing here? He exclaimed as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You really weren’t expecting to see him and you looked down at your outfit. A pair of leggings, a simple t-shirt, and an army green jacket, matched with a barely made up face and messy curls, you looked like a bit of a mess.

Oh, uhm, well Namjoon and Yoongi invited me. You stammered as Hobi listened intently. His gaze seemed to glaze over as you said Namjoon and Yoongi.

How did they invite you? His voice was a bit colder as you looked down at your phone. A part of you felt sick to your stomach. You didn’t know why, but you felt as though you had crossed some line with him.

Well they both gave me their numbers at the fan meet the other day. You replied and Hobi’s eyes grew dark. You weren’t scared, but you wanted to turn and run away. This was all just too much.

Oh, well have fun. He said in a detached tone and turned around. A part of you wanted to stop him, but there was a large part of you that told yourself to let him be, he was upset and you barely knew him. However, you found yourself walking towards him.

Hobi, wait! You called out to him and he turned slightly. You saw his slumped shoulders and his downward gaze. Your heart broke as you wanted nothing more than to run up to him and hug him. But the only thing you could think to say was. I’m sorry if I crossed some sort of line. He shook his head with a light smile.

No, no, it’s not you. Uhm, be careful with those two, I hear they bite. He chuckled as he turned back around and continued to walk away from you down the corridor. You watched his silhouette grow farther until he had turned another corner and left. Your shoulders slumped a little as you tried to find your way to the recording studio. Due to the interaction, a part of you just wanted to go home, you felt as though you had ripped Hobi’s heart out and stepped on it. You tried to justify that this was nothing more than you helping Namjoon and Yoongi, and nothing more, but you could see how it looked.

As you continued to berate yourself, a thought popped in your head.

If this bugs Hobi so much, does that mean he likes me? You felt a smile begin to form on your lips, touching your mouth with your hand, you couldn’t help but feel a giddiness inside of you.

Hobi on the other hand felt complete dread. I knew she was too good for me. He continued to scold himself on his walk home. He felt like a fool for thinking you would actually like him as anything more than an idol. Once you spent a little time with Namjoon or Yoongi, you would realize that he wasn’t worth your smile. Hobi grew angrier as he thought of how foolish he had been. Of course the other guys would see how beautiful you were and want you to be around them. Hobi thought. He walked into the dorm as Jimin and Tae sat to play some video games.

Hey, hyung! Why the long face? Jimin laughed as Tae looked over at him.

Yea! It’s longer than usual! Tae added as Hobi rolled his eyes.

Ha-ha, very funny. Hobi scowled and threw his bag on the floor. Sitting down on one of the chairs, he threw a hand through his hair.

What’s wrong, hyung? Jimin had now become concerned with his elder’s actions.

Ah, it’s just a girl. It seems as though a couple other guys are into her as well. Hobi didn’t want to say it was Namjoon and Yoongi, it was just too embarrassing. Jimin nodded as he listened and then thought for a moment.

And you’re just going to let her go? You’re not even going to fight for her? Jimin seemed appalled at Hobi for quitting so easily.

Well, I just am not that much of a catch. Hobi stated as Jimin looked shocked. Hobi had never had that much confidence, but in Jimin’s eyes this was going too far. Hobi would always laugh off the fact that he never made the most attractive lists or joke about the other guys having more fans, but now Jimin saw the raw pain in Hobi’s eyes. And to Jimin, it was the saddest thing in the world.

Fight for her, hyung. Jimin was stern as he said this to Hobi. He clapped Hobi on the back as Hobi gave him a small smile.

Yea, hyung! You gotta at least try! Tae added as Hobi nodded.

Ah, maybe. Hey, you guys have room for one more in the game? Hobi asked, wanting to change the subject. The two nodded vigorously as they set up another player in the game. Hobi’s mind was racing as they began to play video games for the night.

Maybe I could fight for Y/N, it would be worse to not even try. Hobi thought to himself. He looked over at his phone and just as he was about to look away, it lit up with a text. He smiled when he saw it was from you. Maybe she will want me back.  

The Celebrity January 2017 | Choi Minho

(T/N: Please note that there might be something lost / errors in the translation. Thank you and enjoy!)

Q: Ma Dong Seok who filmed movie <Two Men> together assured that ‘Minho is growing up to be a great actor’ and audiences left a review, saying ‘I went to see SHINee Minho but ended up discovering actor Choi Minho’. How do you feel at that?
A: It’s a compliment to me as a rookie actor. Thus, it makes me know that there are still many ways for me to go through in the future. There are a lot who say that my gaze was different in the movie and I also felt that it was different when I filmed <Two Men>. I studied Jinil’s character as human Choi Minho instead of SHINee Minho, and I worked hard to express that emotion. I’ve become a bit more mature as an actor through <Two Men>.

Q: I heard that you learned how to smoke and curse which you’ve never done before during the filming of <Two Men>. Did you manage to quench your thirst for a new character?
A: Come to think of it, <Two Men>’s Jinil is very different from the characters I’ve played until now. Since I’ve never tried a role of runaway teenager and poverty-stricken man, it wasn’t easy to express the mentality. I worked hard, learned how to smoke according to the script, and worked hard on how to make my way of eating be Jinil-like during eating scene. With movies, I think I need to pay attention to small details in order for the audiences to be able to understand the flow of a character. Even with not strong characters as well, it’s an actor’s job to be able to express and figure out something new in the given character. It’s my goal to be an actor who shows a new and unique character through the given character.

Q: Is there any similarity between <Two Men>’s Jinil and Choi Minho?
A: Jinil is a man who would do everything to protect the one he loves. Although he lives in poverty, he protects the one he loves, and violently struggles to survive. I could relate to his sense of responsibility. I tried planting my sense of responsibility to understand, study, and express Jinil’s inner side in detail.

Q: The ‘Two Men’ in my life are?
A: My father and my hyung. During my childhood days, I used to fight with hyung even when our eyes met, and we caused trouble a lot. What’s fascinating is, we become closer and friendly as we grow up. Although we’re family, he’s also like a friend. I think brothers relationship is funny. My father came to <Two Men> premiere and said to me, ‘You’ve worked hard’ (laughs). I actually didn’t have a lot of memories with my father when I was young. He was always exceptionally busy being a soccer player, he became a coach right after he retired from being a soccer player, and he has lived without rest as a soccer manager. Since I’m also a public figure just like my father, I became curious with how my father was like during his twenties. I think he wasn’t that different from me.

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Studying Computer Science was a really critical point in university for me that I think I failed to fully appreciate until now. I had been strongly ingrained with the fear-to-fail mindset as a pre-med, only exacerbated by my innate perfectionism. I always vigorously googled my problem sets, referred to answer keys, flashcard-ed the Hell out of coursework, took extra care to get all those extra points, how tedious the cost. I’ve always felt comfortable in the humanities to do the utmost genuine work, but the same did not extend to other fields. 

One anecdote perhaps captures it perfectly: My French professor encouraged me to not memorize my answers to verbal tests and just try to come up with answers on the spot. The next test, I memorized my answers, but gave the appearance that my answers were spontaneously generated, to her great (fooled) approval. I didn’t want any failings at real tests of my intelligence to cost me my grade, so I avoided any such tests.

Computer Science was a stopping point in my fourth year on college. I am too shy and independent to pawn off answers from others. The internet is only good at providing the puzzle pieces of code but not instructions for how to put the puzzle pieces together. Eventually, the banging-on-the-keyboard method became too ineffective to continue. I had to actually reach mostly into my own internal resources to get assignments done. And I did wonderfully well through several courses. Breakthrough. And I’m currently whipping through another self-teaching course on Python. It doesn’t hurt that I found out soon after than strong quantitative reasoning is a past-time in my family.

But it wasn’t just a breakthrough in realizing I am good at coding, but also an appreciation for my intellectual prowess. I can genuinely learn skills, not just memorize things and get A’s through brute force effort and taking every care, if I just give it an honest shot. A huge incentive to never take that leap is a terrible drawback of being a pre-med, nail-biting over the line between A and A-.

I continue to pursue mathematics even after finishing two degrees, and consider it a contender for graduate studies, in large part because I want to expand that newly gained sense of capability in the best kind subject I know for such a pursuit. I want to become fluent and comfortable at something few are fluent and comfortable at, because I am capable, because I need to make similar intellectual feats as a researcher working in a nascent field like computational neuroscience, because it’s about damn time after so many 4.0′s that had a hollow ring to them. I got to Harvard through my neurotic levels of perfectionism and I can get back there though the raw prowess of my brain.


  • 2 oz strawberry vodka
  • 1½ oz whipped vodka
  • 2 strawberries, thinly sliced (plus extra for garnish)
  • Soda water
  • In a shaker, add ice and both vodkas. Shake vigorously and set aside.
  • Muddle the sliced strawberries in the bottom of a glass. Fill the glass with ice and top with the vodka mixture. Stir gently to incorporate the muddled strawberries throughout and top with soda water (it’s up to you on how much soda water to add.
  • This is a pretty strong drink so you may want to take the edge off with more soda or if you like it strong, skip the soda all together). Garnish with a strawberry and sip leisurely on the back patio.
Bree’s Scottish Adventures

This ficlet is part of the Jamie Through the Stones AU which starts with Third Time’s the Charm.

This ficlet is a direct continuation from Letters

My Fanfiction Master List

Available on AO3 as Written in the Stones

This is an Outlander canon divergence AU ficlet.

Let me know what you think.

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Nathan coming home after his 5am practice, with his hair fluffy and wild from his towel, his limbs loose and tired from the vigorous sets. He had already changed back into his sweats and a t shirt at the pool, so he simply kicked off his shoes and dropped his training bag by the door with plans of crawling back into bed for another few hours of sleep. 

He was happy to find you still in bed, your arms curled around his pillow which he had used to substitute his own body before he left. He crawled gently across the blankets before gently pulling the pillow out of your grasp, which caused you to stir and roll to your back. Nathan inched forward more until he was hovering over you, then carefully lowered himself between your legs until his head rested comfortably above your stomach and all 6′6 of his pure muscle was relaxed on top of you. 

You woke up once his arms squeezed around your sides, and you couldn’t help but smile fondly down at your giant boy. “Hi baby,” You murmured, hands diving into his fluffy brown locks. He lifted his head to look at you, offering a sleepy smile in return before plopping down again. “Hard practice?” 

“Yeah,” He grumbled in return. You could feel the movement of his lips against the fabric of your shirt. “I’m just going to nap for a little while.” 

You hummed and continued to rake your fingers through his hair, watching the way his eyes fluttered shut from the feeling. His thumbs rubbed over your ribs in a soothing manner, slower and slower as he drifted to sleep again. You left one hand in his hair and used the other to carefully trace over his face, your fingers feathering over his relaxed features until his nose scrunched as you touched just beneath it. You both jumped when he let out a loud sneeze. 

“mm, sorry,” He mumbled over your giggling, nose nudging back into your skin as he relaxed again. “That tickled.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” You said, trying to suppress your giggles now that you could see your boyfriend really wanted to sleep. Your hands carded through his hair again, slowly lulling him unconscious. “Go to sleep, my little fish. I’ve got you.” 


The Queen’s Rangers stand alongside the British Legion as the two most distinguished Loyalist regiments of the American Revolution. Formed in 1775 by Robert Rogers, famous partisan leader from the French and Indian War, their initial conduct was inglorious - Rogers had lost his old guerrilla flair, and the outfit suffered heavy casualties in rebel ambushes. 

Things began to change at the battle of Brandywine in 1777, when they ferociously assaulted a number of rebel defensive positions. That year they received a new commander, John Graves Simcoe. He set about vigorously retraining his men in the latest light infantry and skirmishing tactics. 

They provided escort and patrol duty around Philadelphia (1777-8); fought in the Pennsylvania campaign; served as rearguard during the British retreat to New York (1778); fought the Stockbridge Militia in The Bronx (1778); fought at Perth Amboy, New Jersey, where Simcoe was captured but freed in a prisoner exchange three months later (1779–80); at Charlestown, South Carolina (1780); in the raid on Richmond, Virginia with Benedict Arnold and in other raids in Virginia (1780-1). The unit surrendered at Yorktown and its rank and file were imprisoned at Winchester, Virginia. Earlier on May 2, 1779 the regiment was taken into the American establishment as the 1st American Regiment and was later, on December 25, 1782, taken into the British establishment. In 1783, when the war was ended by the Treaty of Paris, the Queen’s Rangers left New York for Nova Scotia, where it was disbanded. Many of the men from the unit formed Queensbury, New Brunswick on land grants.

Retrained at around the same time that the British Legion was formed, the two units shared many similarities - uniforms, combat doctrine, and able commanders. Simcoe and Tarleton seem to have gotten on well while the two units were stationed together (each was complimentary of the other in their respective narratives of the war), but Simcoe became embroiled in a conflict over chain-of-command with the Legion’s then-commander, Lord Cathcart, (see Cathcart’s bio note), which resulted in Cathcart and the Legion infantry transferring to another area, and Tarleton and his cavalry continuing to work under Simcoe’s command until they had gained the experience and reputation to function on their own.

anonymous asked:

Drabble Games: 34 35 Cas please!!! Thanks

34. “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

35. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”


The angel barely waited for the Winchesters to leave before attacking you, his lips all over yours. Hands roamed, moans escaped.

You broke apart, the need for air proving important. Cas noted the blown pupils. He watched your eyes trail down his figure, lingering below the belt.

“If you keep looking at me like that, we won’t make it to a bed,” Cas said, his voice gruff.

You wrapped yourself around Cas. “Then perhaps we should move this to the bedroom. Now.”

Cas obliged, whisking the two of you off to your bedroom. Once there, he took a step back from you and looked you up and down.

“Take off your shirt.”


“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

Your eyes sparked, realizing that it was going to be that kind of night. You slowly stripped your shirt off, enjoying the way Cas’ eyes were drawn to your breasts, pushed up and cupped delicately with blue lace, the same blue as his eyes.

“Bed,” Cas commanded, slipping out of his coat. You sat down and he was on you once more. Your fingers began to undo the buttons of his shirt, running over the tanned skin beneath. Cas growled at the contact as his hands wandered down to your pants. He quickly undid them and pulled them down. He kissed his way back up your legs, leaving trails of fire.

“Cas,” you moaned.

“Shush, baby girl.” Cas moved higher, ghosting just above where you wanted him. “You’ll get what you deserve.”

You wiggled your hips, earning a light smack on your thigh.

“Patience,” the angel growled. He worked his way back up your body, his mouth finally landing once more on yours. His hands began to work their way down, paying ample attention to your breasts before allowing the fingers to dip into the waistband of your panties. They found that throbbing little nub and caused you to arch into the touch.

His fingers disappeared too soon. They gripped the silky fabric covering you and pulled it down your legs, tossing it into the corner of the room. You watched, eagerly, as Cas stripped out of his clothes, his erect member popping up against his stomach.

He laid down against you again, bumping against your entrance. “What do you want, baby girl?”

“You,” you mewled, rolling your hips against him, earning a hiss.

“Say it again,” he moaned, his lips finding your neck, sucking on that sweet spot.

“You, Cas. You. Please. I need you.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Cas whispered. He shifted slightly, the head of his penis slipping just in between your folds. His lips moved to yours as he slipped all the way in, bottoming out, your hips connecting.

Cas soon set a vigorous pace, hitting your g-spot hard and fast, causing you to cry out.

God, you loved this man.

“Cas,” you moaned. “Cas. Cas. Cas.”

“Come on, baby girl. Let me hear you.”

With his encouragement, you grew louder, your praises filling the room, his whispers mixed among them.

His fingers darted down to your clit again, applying the slightest pressure.

It was just what you needed.

You clenched around him, pulling him towards his own climax, the two of you crying out.

He collapsed on top of you, his lips pressing light kisses on your neck. He remained inside of you, softening.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said, turning his eyes to you.

“I love you, too,” you said, pressing a kiss to his lips.


Drabble Games! Send me a number and a character :)

Horror Nights and Pillow Fights

{This just came to me so I wrote it because my Jimin feels were overwhelming and its so fluffy just a warning…}

You didn’t bother to hide your irritation when you opened your front door. You rolled your eyes and looked at the person who had rung your bell at such an ungodly hour expectantly as you held the door open. Standing in front of you was Park Jimin, your notoriously forgetful neighbor who also happened to be attending the same college as you. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants, your college’s hoodie, and sneakers. His brown hair fell lazily against his forehead, and you knew he had just gotten back from his dance practices.

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Khan: Manual

Authors: Gordjia (aka showmeishowyou), бета: Камбербечнутая

English speaking Beta: Rachel F, you are the best! Thank you sooo much!

All rights reserved and preserved

Manual for cumberaddicted,
How to lose your mind completely.
Pre-order: 72-KHAN-01
Khan Unlimited: safeguarding your worthless lives.

Khan’s manual 

Now you are a happy owner of KHAN NOONIEN SINGH, a unique copy of a genetically superior human with a vigorously splendid set of unstudied DNA.
ATTENTION! To reduce the risk of injury during the use of KHAN NOONIEN SINGH it is necessary to follow the basic safety rules listed below. Read it carefully before getting started to use your KHAN and keep it, and your KHAN will provide you (and your descendants) hundreds of happy years with solid security. 
In case of emergencies you can always rely on your KHAN and his rock-solid shoulder(s), arms, legs (and other body parts).

After you KHAN received, please do the following steps:
1. Turn on the defrosting process of the ice chamber by entering the code «You should have let me sleep» on the top panel. By entering the code, you’re signing the license agreement, waiver of a claim and an agreement to all the consequences, including lethal outcome.
2. Awake, your KHAN will try to attack you. Make a cross from the comb and the tube of studio hair gel and hold it in front of you stiff-armed. Try to control your knee’s tremor. Your KHAN will turn from the dark side of destruction to the light side of creation and start to adjust his hair. If, awake, your model will be sorely perplexed and carry itself in a peaceful way, check the activation and settings by articulating “Seventy two”.
3. Delete all the pieces of clothing off your KHAN and put him into the shower. Try to control your body’s tremor. Gently rub your KHAN with soap and then rinse well in warm water. Don’t let him leak. 
Before the first use, warm up your KHAN. Also, extended configuration includes one rubber duck (1). Don’t hurry to utilize the babble wrap that comes with the duck. It can be used in case of emergency and distract your KHAN for couple of hours from the universe conquest and mass destruction. 
4. We deliver KHAN with add-ons, fully charged, all the possible program modes included. Please, check all the supplements if you ordered your KHAN with add-ons (see below), and be sure that you got the proper model of KHAN.
Models Available:
(а) Version I KHAN (copyright Meyer/Ricardo Montalban, 1967,1982)
(б) Version II KHAN (copyright Abrams/Benedict Cumberbatch, 2013)

Current manual written for:
(б) Version II KHAN (copyright Abrams/Cumberbatch, 2013)

KHAN - 1 pce.
Black indecent fit turtleneck - 1 pce.
Black indecent bodyfit pants - 1 pce.
Studio hair gel - 1 pce.
Comb - 1 pce.

Extended configuration:
+ Rubber duck for a great shower mood - 1 pce.

Possible mode switching to ALTERNATIVE SEXUAL ORIENTATION, exaggerated taste to various exact sciences (math, statistics). Your model can start to act like a geek, nerd, possibly want to reinvent the wheel (and other computers). Please, don’t use this mode till the mid-2014.
2. LEATHER JACKET (1 pce.) and WHITE SHIRT (3 pcs.) 
Possible mode switching to KILL @ STEAL, nope, sorry.. MOAN SEXY @ PROTECT, some of our users prefer this mode to the standard GROWL @ ORDER AROUND and DIVIDE, INTRIGUE @ RULE. Strongly recommend to test this mode with corresponding configurations (usually it is necessary to delete some pieces of clothing off). In this mode your KHAN can act very effectively, but no longer than 20 minutes (as a result of simultaneous functions: to protect and to show off).
3. PIANO (1 pce.) 
Possible mode switching to LITTLE CHARLES «PLEASE, LOVE ME», range of voice can extend in several octaves and make you feel endlessly happy (experience of unbelievable pleasure is possible), use carefully. Don’t turn on before witnesses.
4. SCALES (0,99 bcm)
Possible mode switching to DRAGON, recommended to use with add-ons VELVET SUIT. ATTENTION!!! (for further information please refer to LIBRARIES. SEX). 
5. The early XX century clothing (portmanteau 5 pcs.)
Possible mode switching to CHRISTOPHER TIETJENS, aka CHRISTOPHER DECENT THE FIRST, aka CHRISTOPHER WANTED WHAT’S BEST, BUT GOT THE USUAL, alias CHRISTOPHER OH GOD THIS TEA IS UUUGH, aka CHRISSY, HONEY, SAY, HOW’S THAT. Recommended to use in need of comfort someone. In this mode your KHAN does everything wrong, trips up and needs eternal care, sympathy, tenderness, kindness. Recommended to use no more than 1 time in 4 weeks and not less than 3 times in a year to avoid settings failure.
(for further information please refer to: CHRISTOPHER TIETJENS Manual). 
6. COAT (random)
Coming as: dark-blue, beaver collar, «Esquire» USA.
Possible mode switching to CUMBERBATCH and activation regime «HYPERPOSH»
(for further information please refer to: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH Manual). 
7. GREEN PARKA (1 pce.)
Possible effects: hair discoloration. There is a bug in the source code, manifests itself with sudden hankering to hack your computer, laptop, Ipad, Iphone, androids, iron and fridge, disclose all of it on the internet and then run away to the closest embassy in long strides. 
Switch carefully.
8. BLACK COAT (4 pcs.) with “lady de vil” aka “those cheekbones” collar. Keep in a separate closet. During use, your model of KHAN can switch between modes by itself, change settings to the model SHERLOCK and became unmanageable. 
Optional program malfunctions:
- Your KHAN can claim that for further functioning he needs the WATSON model 
- Use of your sofa (24/7)
- Your model may claim that it is necessary for him to have access to various drugs
- Uncontrollable violin playing and getting on people’s nerves?
- Dead body’s parts into your fridges and on various kitchen surfaces 
- DRAMA QUEEN mode can be activated
- Use of a whip/riding crop (not included in any package, your model can acquire it using your credit card information, deduced from your eyebrows
- Clothing add-ons: SHEET 
Recommended to use no more than 1 time in 4 weeks to avoid settings failure.
(for further information please refer to: SHERLOCK Manual). 
9. VELVET SUIT, recommended to use in LIBRARIES and other closed spaces.
(for further information please refer to: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH Manual). 
10. SILK ROBE (1 pce.), CIGARS (2 ps), GLASS (1 pce.), WHISKY (10 botts.), Recommended to use in LIBRARIES and other closed spaces.
(for further information please refer to: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH Manual).

Name: Khan Noonien Singh (optional: John Harrison, not recommended, can set off a negative reactoin)
Nature: superior, genetically engineered human
Made in: Earth
Age: 300 years
Strength: may lead to dizziness (How would his strength cause dizziness) 
Height: 182 cm
Weight: to avoid injuries we would not recommend any experiments (even if it’s night, you’r afraid of the storm and your sheets are cold)
Length: {censored}
Color: White marble
Hair: Raven-head
Eyes: Intent look Color: chameleon/gray (cold fury). 
Hands: Able to do hand-stands and push-ups with feet against the wall
Fingers: Shamelessly long, calling for associations. Can play musical instruments. 
Legs: Can accelerate to a great speed (tested with the model SPOCK). 
Physical specifications: Meets requirements of protection, can attack enemies, has all the necessary key functions. Excellent memory (so you don’t have to write down your enemies’ names), can use various types of vengeance (but use only one, for further information please refer to: cracked skulls).
Your KHAN also can take care of other various issues when you change the mode to temporary mode CUMBERBATCH (optional: FASHION IS MY PROFESSION(aka I’M SO HOT RIGHT NOW, aka MODEL), NANNIE). 
Be careful, recommended to use no more than 1 time in 4 weeks to avoid settings failure (same with SHERLOCK and CHRISTOPHER TIETJENS modes)
Distinguishing features: lavishly accentuated upper lip contour. 
Temper: Nordic, «improved Bond».
Tattoos: No
Voice: So sepulchrally resonant that it could have been synthesised from the combined timbres of Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart and Alan Rickman. There is a high posibility of going into trance, coma or multiple orgasms, be very careful with the doze (also known as “Cumberdoze”). Recordings “My family”, “You are not so smart”, “If you think you are safe, you are wrong” avaliable. 
Separate models can also have recordings “I was waiting for you” and “I can’t keep it inside” (for use in CHARLIE «PLEASE, LOVE ME» mode only). If you will use these recordings in the wrong mode, there are possible outcomes (as feedback from users showed) in the form of divorce. Strongly recommended to use those recordings ONLY in CHARLIE «PLEASE, LOVE ME» mode, permanent irreversible consequences are possible. Manufacturer shall not be liable under this indemnity to the extent that any such event occurs.

Your KHAN was developed to protect and save your miserable life. Representing the range of skills an in-fighter. Skills of cracking skulls installed. KHAN knows how to handle all kinds of weapon, cars, and ships. Has knowledge in all common sciences. Some models have human manipulation skills.

There are no limits of KHAN’s capabilities and possibilities. Can sacrifice life to save user and other unpredictable behavior. 
Control can be activated by voice. Please, articulate your instructions in good English Harrow alumnus’s dialect preferable if you want your KHAN to understand you. 
Remember, your KHAN has many other skills other than protecting and guarding and can be used for various purposes.

Activate the mode CUMBERBATCH and use add-ons: VELVET JACKET or SILK ROBE on combination with CIGARS, GLASS, BOTTLE OF WHISKY.
Be careful: don’t mix the order, if you will use add-ons before mode switch, your KHAN’s settings can fail.
(for further information please refer to: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH manual).

Turn on the CUMBERBATCH mode and leave the children in his line of sight. In regular mode your KHAN can detect children as users, but in CUMBERBATCH mode you will see his gut reaction: book reading, poem reading, poetry reading (don’t forget about your KHAN’s incredible memory), cuddling and outdoor games guaranteed. In CUMBERBATCH mode we don’t recommend you take pictures of your KHAN with the children. There is a high probability that your children will discover one gross and easy to learn gesture.

Your KHAN, switched to the CHRISTOPHER TIETJENS mode for 5 minutes, is a unique substitute for psychologist is not needed 2-3 hours therapy. He will listen to you, dry your tears and ease your anxiety (in 5 minutes!).

*** BE CAREFUL *** 
Your KHAN is a fully functioning model of a superior human which is able to fulfil many other domestic functions besides protection. Notwithstanding, some of the functions can be misunderstood by owners who are currently in stable relationships with human species. Misuse of your KHAN can lead to divorce proceedings. Therefore we recommend to keep the address of family court and be reasonably careful.

Your KHAN model is compatible with other models from the “Improved Humans and Similar Races” line, but be careful and don’t use him cooperatively with old models from the STAR TREK company (KIRK STRIGHT GYRUS, MARCUS THE SNAKE, SPOCK CHEATER). Otherwise permanent consequences are possible (for further information please refer to: CRACKED SKULLS)

Use your KHAN carefully and only for its intended purpose. In the case of use for a purpose other than its designated one, your KHAN can lose essential settings: cold-bloodedness, strength, severity, savagery, cruelty, and mercilessness. Therefore, you won’t be able to use KHAN as KHAN anymore (so be ready to take care of your CHRISTOPHER TIETJENS or, God forbid, SHERLOCK).

You will need to clean your KHAN from time to time (depending on the task you give him). Use only water (no juices or alcohol, water shower strongly recommended) to clean your KHAN in easy- and hard-to-reach places. Use warm Klingon (capital K) water in case you need to wash off indelible spots and marks (chocolate, whipped cream, wax).

To keep your KHAN in good condition you have to lubricate his moving parts.
NB: Detailed analysis left beyond current manual. For more information please refer to http:// showmeishowyou_ dot_ tumblr_com/

Your KHAN needs additional recharge only when he runs in other modes. 
Your KHAN needs food only if he runs in other modes.
It is necessary to feed your KHAN in CHRISTOPHER TIETJENS, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, there are no information about other modes.
ATTENTION!!! Avoid feeding your KHAN chicken in regular mode!! Your KHAN can start complaining and whining, can claim that he doesn’t want to go the gym anymore and even call you “ABRAMS” (this is still an open problem in our prototypes). 
2. FIVE O’CLOCK TEA. Watch your KHAN carefully in the SHERLOCK mode and don’t think that if he pretends to care about you and to make you TEA that he really cares and it’s real TEA (for further information please refer to: SHERLOCK MANUAL).
In CUMBERBATCH mode your model can ask for WHISKEY (not from the add-ons) and also VODKA (pls refer to: gray goose, beluga). Be careful. Persistent misuse can lead to bugs, systems failures and friendly models appearances (for example, RED DEVIL FASSBENDER) and uncontrolled fun (for further information please refer to: DIVORCE).

Parameter not supported 24/7.
In other modes your KHAN can sleep 24/7 and sniff / wheeze (refer to models CUMBERBATCH and CHRISTOPHER TIETJENS).

Your KHAN can be upgraded in 2014 or 2015. For further information please ask in local cinemas and internet (Upon a change of manager of ABRAMS&CO it is reasonable to make a request about new software and read the description carefully before installing. Be careful, new versions can vary from the 2013 version A LOT).

To save your extremely popular model of KHAN, a superior human, please follow the instructions:
* Install a microchip in your KHAN. He can do it himself, just ask him with a die-away voice and he will start the procedure. 
* Keep away from public view.

Your KHAN can tell you that the best way not to lose him is to tie him to a bed with silk scarves. Or to enchain him. Or to lay together into the cryogenic /ice/ chamber. DO NOT TRUST HIM!! You can do it, but do not think that this is for safety.


Q: Can I order two KHANs?
A: Because this model is too popular, we had to limit our sails: one KHAN per customer.

Q: Where do I need to keep him when I don’t use him?
A: Strictly speaking, your KHAN shall be stored into the ice chamber when not in use. Freeze him and he will keep great working condition for a long time.

Problem: Your KHAN’s hair is messed up, his clothes torn to pieces, love bites all over and he has stunned expression on his face. You look the same.
Solution: Switch regime from NC17 to PG13. ATTENTION!! If your life is in danger, you have to carry on with it and do not switch until the danger is eliminated.
Problem CRACKED SKULLS: Your KHAN has a habit to crack your enemies’ skulls with bare hands.
Solution: It is a common problem for Version II KHAN (aka VENGEANCE). The only solution is to wait until all your enemies will die at the hands of your defender. Don’t forget to clean your KHAN and his clothes after that (refer to “CLEANING”).
Problem: There are hundreds of screaming girls in your front of your house after receiving the KHAN unit. They’re all holding signs that say “MARRY ME, BENNY!!!”
Solution: This phenomenon is a widely occurring one. Please act as follows:
(1) It is important to hide your KHAN. Do not hide him in the bedroom - they look in that place primarily.
(2) Tell them that “FRANKENSTEIN” is playing in local theatres and there is a new series of “BBC’S SHERLOCK” on TV. They will evaporate. 
(3) Tell the rest of them that you own a Version I KHAN. Most of them will walk away, as they have no idea who it is (copyright Meyer/Ricardo Montalban, 1967,1982).

There will be no more than 10 of them. Invite them in for tea and and oatmeal and start the discussion about the human nature of KHAN and his role in eugenics wars. While they will argue, run away with your KHAN to the closest Klingon’s planet and hide there for several weeks.


Your KHAN will protect you for many, many years. Do not forget to write in your will in which you explain who will inherit your defender and dear friend (as your miserable life is short and he will live forever). 


Khan Unlimited ©

Matsuoka Rin and His Collection of Idiot Friends (Rei/Nagisa)

I saw this post and immediately knew I had to write a story for Rei and Nagisa.

Many thanks to paranormowl for beta-reading!

(My commissions are open! For more information, please see here.)

Title: Matsuoka Rin and His Collection of Idiot Friends
Pairing(s): Rei/Nagisa
Rating: G (except for some very slight language)
Length: 3,286 words

Also on AO3.

“Oooh, but Rin-chan, you just don’t understand!” Nagisa languished and flopped down on the small table between them. He carefully snaked his arm across the surface so he wouldn’t accidentally knock anything over. Nagisa rested his cheek against his upper arm and peeked up at Rin.

Rin, to his credit, didn’t even bat an eyelash at his friend’s theatrics and continued to eat his lunch calmly. He glanced at Nagisa. “No,” he said in a flat tone, “I’m pretty sure I do. Since you’ve done nothing but go on and on about this guy for the past hour.”

Dramatically, Nagisa sighed again. “See, that just means that you don’t get it….”

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Naughty or Nice

Imagine: Christmas in Alexandria, and a special visit from Santa.

Naughty or Nice

“Settle down, please, Carl.” Rick laughed as Carl swung Judith around the room again, making the little girl giggle and screech in delight. Delaney, Maggie and Glenn’s little girl, gurgled and chattered in excitement, too.

The ‘calendar’ that the community was going off of said that today was Christmas, so while most families were spending it in their homes, Rick’s group had decided to spend it together in Carol’s house. Everyone was snuggled up in the living room against the cold, laughing and drinking glasses of wine, getting ready to exchange Secret Santa gifts and to shower the little ones in candy and presents.

Well, almost everyone was there. “Y/N, where’s Daryl?” Glenn asked. Your husband was the only one missing from the group.

“His watch shift ended an hour ago. He should be here.” You chew your lip and look at the clock on the wall. “If he’s being surly and skipping, he’s going to get it later.” You threaten.

Just then, the front door burst open and Daryl Dixon stepped over the threshold in a bright red Santa costume. “HO HO HO!” He boomed out.

“SANTA!” Judith screeched and tottered over to Daryl’s outstretched arms.

He scooped her up and kissed her temple. “Have you been a good little girl this year?”

The small party was in stitches, laughing at the absurdity of the Santa costume. It was too big for him in the waist, and he’d stuffed one of the couch cushions from your house in the waistband. He’d also cut the sleeves off, so even though it was snowing outside, his arms were bare. He didn’t have a long white beard to complete the costume, but he did have a red hat with a little bell attached to the end that jangled every time he moved his head.

Judith was nodding vigorously. “Good!”

Daryl set her down and took his backpack off. “Then let me see what I have for you.” He pulled a baby doll out of the backpack.

“DOLLY!” Judith grabbed it and ran off to show Rick. “Daddy, dolly!”

Rick picked her up and said, “I see that. Did you say thank you to Santa?”

“Thank!” Judith beamed at Daryl from across the room.

Carl, who was still standing next to the door, was laughing again. Daryl said, “Santa didn’t forget about you. You’ve been naughty this year.” He put Carl in a headlock.

“Hey!” Carl tried to struggle his way out, but it was no use. The group was laughing again.

Finally, Daryl released him and picked the backpack back up. “I still have something for you, though.” He pulled a large stack of comic books out of the pack.

“Sweet!” Carl took the books and flipped through the covers. “Thanks Da—er, thanks, Santa.”

“No problem.” He ruffled Carl’s hair. “You’re a good kid.” Carl smiled and went to sit down next to Michonne, handing her half of the comics to flip through. “Now,” Daryl put his hands on his hips and said, “Where’s my Mrs. Clause?” He was smirking at you.

“Are you really gonna make me get up off the couch?” You ask, rubbing your 8-months-pregnant stomach that made getting up and down difficult.

“If ya want Santa to deliver your Christmas gift, then yeah.” Daryl stepped over and offered his hands to help you stand up from the couch. You went over to where he was rummaging in the backpack. He stands back up after a moment, and dangles a cluster of mistletoe above your head.

You smile a little and give him a kiss, which made Judith squeal again. “Did you really make me stand up for that?”

“No, I made you stand up for this.” He brought his other hand out from behind his back. In it, there was a glittering diamond ring.

“Oh my god.” You say, covering your mouth in shock. “How did you—“

“Took it off a walker.” Daryl shrugged. “When I asked you to marry me last year, I didn’t have a ring or a ways to get one. Now I do, so I wanted to make sure you had a ring you deserve and love.”

You hold out your left hand and let him get down on one knee to slip it on your finger. When he stands back up, he’s waving the mistletoe around again, but you kiss him again anyway. “I love it!” You exclaim, holding it out to admire it.

“Let me see.” Maggie said. You step over people and gifts on the floor to flash your new token to your friend. “It’s gorgeous.” She says.

“Yeah, she is.” Daryl winks at you.

You roll your eyes, but still blush a little. “You’re so damn cheesy!” You say.

“Should we open presents?” Rick said, setting Judith back on the ground and getting ready to help make the gift exchange more organized.

After everyone had opened their presents (you’d gotten a pair of baby shoes and a baby hat from Sasha, and Daryl had gotten a whittled bear totem from Carl), the party was splintering into individual conversations and the hum of Christmas cheer.

“I like your costume.” You say, patting Daryl’s knee. He’d taken the couch cushion out again and Judith was running around with his hat, jingling it at everyone. “You’re a sexy Santa.”

Daryl chuckled. “I try. You’re a sexy Mrs. Clause.”

“I’d be a sexier Mrs. Clause if I’d had the outfit. Short red skirt with white fir, skimpy little red tank top.” You laugh as Daryl whistles through his teeth. “This pregnancy wouldn’t help, though.” You rub your tummy. “A pregnant balloon of a Mrs. Clause isn’t that sexy.”

Daryl frowns. “Why would you say that?” He doesn’t let you answer before he says. “I think you’re beautiful, pregnant or not. But, there’s just something about you right now that’s really amazing. And definitely sexy. You’re like, I don’t know, glowing. I know that’s cliché, but it’s so true that I can’t help but just stare at you all the time. And you’re carrying our baby, and I think that’s just amazing.”

You lean over and kiss him. “So, no balloon?”

“No way.” He kisses you again. And again. “Should we go home? Continue this conversation in private?” You nod. Before he stands, he smirks and says, “Have you been naughty or nice, Mrs. Clause?”

“Oh, I’ve been so naughty.” You smirk back, letting him help you up before you make your goodbyes and practically run back across the street to your house.


It is nowhere near Christmas… But this just kind of happened…


Anger shall henceforth be measured in dewitts

Key: # of dewitts = equivalent anger level

  • 1 dewitt = Punching the elevator call button
  • 2 dewitts = Getting cryptic telegrams from a couple of nerds who speak entirely in sciencey mumbo jumbo
  • 3 dewitts = Getting third place in the damn air rifle games at the fair
  • 4 dewitts = Rage-punching a police officer to death
  • 5 dewitts = Burning enemies to death with your special powers
  • 6 dewitts = Wasting salts setting a vigor trap that no one steps on
  • 7 dewitts = Decapitating enemies with your skyhook
  • 8 dewitts = Calling down a murder of crows to pluck out your opponents’ fucking eyes
  • 9 dewitts = Electric-punching a guy until he’s electrocuted and his skeleton turns to motherfucking ashes, son
  • 10 dewitts = Missing the goddamned health kit your goddamned partner is throwing you because you’re trying to shoot some more goddamned people who are trying to goddamn kill you and then dying, goddammit
  • 11 dewitts = Murder-punching that fucking Vox Populi dude who keeps sneaking up and shooting the engine core from like three feet away with a motherfucking RPG while you’re trying to deal with those asshole motorized patriots
  • 1,000,000 dewitts = Falling for a chick who turns out to be YOUR OWN GODDAMNED DAUGHTER

Use Case: My roommate drank all my milk. I was at 5 dewitts, I swear to fucking god.