The thing about me is, I dream about death. I am always fascinated on the idea of death. Everyday, I think on ways to die. But I don’t actually try and kill myself. I just think of ways how to die.
I like to jump.
No, I LOVE to jump.
I like the flying feeling when I jump. I feel that I’m invincible and I can do anything. I like standing in high places and just look down and feel superior to everyone.
The reason why I loved this book is because I felt connected to Finch. I felt all his pain.
The feeling of being lost.
The feeling of being alone.
The feeling of being no one.
I never felt being alive. I just exist without an exact reason why.
I am not alive. I am just existing.
I can be gone now and no one will notice.
That’s how I used to think everyday.
And sometimes, I still do.
People might think that I completely lost it, maybe they’re right. Maybe this is just how my mind works.
It’s not that I chose to be like this. I tried so hard to change but sometimes when there is nowhere to go, all I do is go to a high place and just look down.
No, I don’t plan to kill myself.
I don’t want to become a disappointment to my parents,
again. So I’m trying to be alive not just existing
And I hope, everyone will do the same.