views:200

Y'all picture hufflepuff Keith and Slytherin lance for a sec

- Keith being one of the only serious quidditch players in the house so his strategy as seeker is just “get the snitch before we can suck so bad it doesn’t matter” and lances is just “score a shit ton of points so it doesn’t matter if Keith catches the snitch”

- “lance I hate you” “ur just salty that I have an actual quidditch team”

- Keith sneaking lance food from the kitchens

- when they’re not in clothes with their house colors people assume they’re each other’s houses and Keith is just like “him??? this boy will sell u to Satan for one corn chip” and lance is like thx babe ily2

- everyone is SHOKED at breakfast one morning when a howler ends up at the hufflepuff table but when Keith opens it it’s just lance screaming about how much he loves his bf and Keith puts his head down for the rest of breakfast

-accidentally wearing each other’s ties to class bc shit yellow and silver and green and black look similar in a mostly dark dormitory

- the first time they spend the night together lance stands at the foot of the bed goes “hey I know this bed belongs to the hufflepuff house but mind if I… slytherin????”

- Keith almost kicks him out

- HOGSMEAD DATES

- Lmao Keith has a subscription to the quibbler so like conspiracy theory Keith lives on in this universe too

- “lance u know I love you but if I could trade u for a nargle siting I would”

- LET KEITH BE CARING AND LET LANCE BE PASSIONATE 2kFOREVER

I think the most hilarious thing about John asking if Sherlock has a boyfriend at Angelos is that at this point Mrs Hudson, Mycroft, and Angelo have all assumed that JOHN is Sherlock’s boyfriend, so like, based on that you’d think John could figure out that Sherlock is gay and single since they all think this random new person could be his bf…. like clearly this man doesn’t have a long-term bf, he literally just asked that so he could suss out if Sherlock is interested

taz things i’ll never be over

a masterpost (feel free to add anything i left out, bc i definitely can’t get them all down at once)

  • magnus gave the director a coupon for one free back rub for candlenights
  • no dogs on the moon
  • magic brian
  • The Taco Quest
  • “i’ll be having my body back, you undead fuck”
  • jenkins’ rainbow bowtie
  • fuckin. johann.
  • rockport is inhabited by entirely tom bodett
  • “hot diggety shit. that is a baller cookie.”
  • “FANTASY COSTCO, WHERE ALL YOU R E DREA MS COME TRUE . GOT A D EA L  FOR YOU”
  • garfield the deals warlock
  • “we have to get these pringles back to our roommate. was that his name” pringles”
  • fucking. leon. the coin guy. poor unfortunate soul.
  • “i’ve gotta fucking idea for ya” an taako drops to the ground. he’s been found dead in miami.
  • tres horny boys constantly antagonizing leon
  • “oh my god, you’re taako!”
  • the magnus-taako-merle chains in both petals to the metal and the suffering game
  • “AVI. AVI I’M REAL FUCKED UP.”
  • “avi be cool for 2 seconds”
  • “t to the double a ko”
  • taakitz
  • magnus’ pet fish, steven
  • “oh shit, sweet flips”
  • TEAM sweet flips
  • sloane and hurley
  • “tell him it’s for julia.”
  • kravitz it unable to talk like a normal Mcfreaking person
  • “cut the goofs”
  • lydia & edward are awful but they did it all for their brother???