vietnamese eats

shit grad students say, pt. 1

“i need to sleep 38 minutes ago”

“do i get a gold star on my diploma if i’m the first one to submit my thesis?””

prof: why did you choose to do a masters degree?
student: i’m going to be completely honest, i’m just here for the bragging rights

“i didn’t know you could use microsoft excel to do calculations! i did 138 standard deviations BY HAND!”

“i pulled an all nighter and i don’t even have anything to show for it”

“pho is like vietnamese gatorade. eat a bowl before you go out drinking, you’ll never get a hangover.”

“spanish is my default language. i went to china and i KNOW they don’t speak spanish there but every time i met someone i was like ‘HOLA’”

“i can’t tell if i actually have free time or if i’m just neglecting my responsibilities”

“i was so stressed out last spring that i bought a fish tank”

“sometimes i just need days where all i do is watch shitty mtv shows and look at my fish”

“man, you have to BUDGET your all nighters”

“i was grading lab reports last night and i accidentally spilled wine all over them so now my students know they’ve pushed me to drinking”

“i’m trying to see if there’s a correlation between the number of hours grad students sleep and the number of coffees they drink in a day”

“one of my profs wrote a book about hockey and they misquoted him on tv and now he’s internationally known for saying that all hockey players are homosexual”

“why do i come here? why did i make this my life goal?”

prof: we’re going to get started as soon as everyone’s quiet
student: guys if we keep talking we don’t have to start!

Cao Lầu, Hoi An, Vietnam

This is cao lầu, the best bowl of noodles I’ve eaten in Vietnam. (Sorry, pho!)

Cao lầu is a super-localized dish that you can only enjoy in the historic town of Hoi An. According to local legend, the rice noodles used in the dish must be made with water from a secret well, and mixed with ash from wood collected from the nearly Cham Islands. Other than that, ingredients and toppings change from chef to chef and restaurant to restaurant, but the dish usually contains some kind of pork and herbs.

We’d tried a few versions around town and were unimpressed, to be honest, until we were walking back to our hotel one night and stumbled upon this set up…

A lone man under a tent in an alley preparing noodles dishes…

His kitchen…

A closer look at the ingredients…

The dining room…

We ordered and he got to work, cooking the noodles, adding the soup and methodically constructing the dish…

In less than two minutes, this beauty bowl arrived at our table…

His version of cao lầu, as seen here, featured two kinds of roast pork, the belly and the loin, and came topped with fried pork lard for crunch. There was also a layer of herbs under all those pork parts, which you mixed all together by yourself…

As you can see above, the noodles are quite thick, similar to udon in texture, but with a very distinct taste.

No soup. Just a few secret sauces and a touch of vinegar.

You added chilli sauce, homemade of course, on your own as well.

I still can’t get over how good this cao lầu was!! Every ingredient came together to form a perfect formula of flavor.

All through our “dinner”, we were watched over by this young fella, the chef’s grandson, who kept eyeing me like I was going to steal one of his ribs…

There’s no address I can give you here, however, I was told this tent goes up nightly as long as the weather’s good. To find this killer cao lầu in Hoi An, look for this address in Old Town and you should spot this streetside chef making magic in the alley after sunset…

Here’s one more look for good measure…


Latest obsession: fried tofu

Every since ordering these at a vegetarian thai restaurant, I’ve been making these nonstop. In the last picture is the sweet chili sauce- which I believe is ESSENTIAL with the tofu. Even though there’s a picture of fried chicken on the bottle, it’s completely vegan. (ft. my little sister sneaking in another bite in the background)

Recipe but not really: 

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We’ve discovered firsthand that Hanoi truly is the capital of street food, especially on weekends, when they close off a good section of the Old Quarter to traffic and the food carts and vendors roll out in droves. The choices suddenly seem endless, but you find a lot of the same options being offered all around the area. For example, grilled pork skewers, or satay, served with Vietnamese chilli sauce, sold for about 25-30 cents US each. We tried them at a number of makeshift grills over the weekend, but our clear favorite was here, sold by this woman on the corner of Hang Be and Gia Ngu St. Offered simply on the stick, or on bread as a “banh my”, which is how they spell it here, her pork was the most tender and tasty, a huge step up from the others we tried. Additionally, she;s not open only on weekends, but every night on the same corner, until she sells out, which is usually pretty early from what we understand. We got there at 7pm and she was almost done for the night.

a silly assassins!au i’ll never have the time to write...

Words: 1365

“So I was thinking we could skip dinner and order in from that Vietnamese place I found instead.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes and squinted into the scope. “I told you, I hate Vietnamese food.”

“You’ve never had Vietnamese. You just wanna to go back to the same Italian place.”

“Because I like that Italian place. I’m a woman of habit.” Her index finger was laying gently on the trigger as she watched Chat Noir zip quickly from behind a parked car and into an open window from a neighboring building. She moved the scope quickly to her right and saw two men leaning against a car parked in the opening of an alley approximately two blocks away. Ladybug couldn’t make out the fine details of their faces from this far away, but the builds matched the description they were given. “When you get a visual, let me know.”

“Roger, my Lady. Keep your eyes on them and let me know if they’re moving.”

“Roger.” She stared down at her phone leaning against the air conditioning unit. 11:32pm. Ladybug clicked her tongue against her teeth. “I already bought a dress for the evening, anyway. I want to wear it.”

“You can literally wear it during any other occasion, you’re not talking me out of this. You’re eating Vietnamese food tonight.” He was already scaling the side of a building only half a block down from where their targets were loitering. “Besides, nothing’s stopping you from wearing it if we stay in. It’s a delectable number if I do say so myself.”

Ladybug chuckled. “Down, kitty cat. You have to earn that dress.”

“And haven’t I?”

She snorted into her earpiece. “Make quick work of these jerks and maybe I’ll reward you.” 11:34pm. “Now come on. Get me a visual.”

“Hold on, hold on.” He must have been getting close because he was whispering into his headset, and the wind was suddenly louder than she was. It was windier than they thought it would be tonight. She kept her scope pointed at the man whose back was towards the street and twisted one of the dials on her scope, trying to account for the windy conditions. Chat Noir was completely out of sight, which meant that he was closing in on the scene. 11:35pm. “What’ve you got?”

“It’s them. Your target’s got a scar across his face, about 180 pounds, black hair, blue eyes, and a tattoo on his wrist. Mine’s about 160 pounds, blond hair, brown eyes, crooked nose, and a mangled ear from a gunshot wound. Both in their mid-30s give or take.”

Ladybug looked away from her scope for a moment to pull out the small netbook she had sitting on the floor of the empty apartment she was camped out in. She pulled up the stats and profiles of the two men that Chat described. Both fit the descriptions of their targets Duris and Blier. “Confirmed.” 11:38pm. “Signal when you’re in position.”

Chat chuckled into his mic. “Don’t miss.”

“I never do. If you impress me, I might give you a show after dinner.”

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Bon Me has officially become one of my favorite places to grab some food! Vegan bánh mì is toooo good 👅toasted baguette with roasted soy and paprika tofu, carrots and daikon, cucumber, cilantro, red onion, and vegan walnut pate (all for $6.5) 

Shit white people say to asians

1. Are you Chinese, Filipino, or Vietnamese?
2. Do you eat dogs?
3. Its okay to call you yellow because that’s what your skin color is, right?
4. Do you speak Chinese?
5. Can you make me egg rolls?
6. Do you speak English?
7. Are you good at math?
8. You don’t look Asian, your eyes aren’t squinted.
9. If you’re Asian, why are you white?
10. When you’re talking to each other in your language are you talking about me?
11. Do you speak another language?
12. Do you eat weird things?
13. Do you always eat rice?
14. Do you have problems with your L’s and R’s when you talk?
15. You speak English well, how long have you been speaking it?
16. Of course you’re smart, you’re Asian!
17. Can you recommend a good Asian restaurant?
18. Do you eat cats??
19. What country are you from?
20. Is it true Asian guys have small dicks?

If you think of any more add em

A Look Back

Summary: (parent!phan) Dan is putting his little girl to sleep when he begins to talk about how his life has changed, then Phil comes in and continues the conversation

Genre: Pure Fluff

W/C: 1077
Phils POV

She really is gorgeous, Bea is. Dan was laying by her tiny bed and humming a tv show’s theme song, hoping it would help our daughter go to sleep. Her small chest steadily rose up and back down, puffing up her sleeping onesie with every exhale. She was definitely asleep. The faint curls in the small amount of hair she had were very pronounced so you could tell she was Dan’s child. She also had strands of white hair in place of some dark eyelashes, similar to the random white streak I have on the back of my head. 

Dan had begun quietly speaking to Bea, “I’m so glad we have you, Beatrice. You make your daddies so happy and I don’t think you will ever comprehend how much we love you”. He paused and took her tiny hand and she almost instantly wrapped it around his index finger. 

“Having a healthy little girl like you is more then I could she ever asked for. I have you, Phil, The BBC; and to think I almost became a lawyer”. Dan stopped again and sniffled. He brought his other hand up to his face and whipped away a small tear that was trickling down his cheek. 

I leaned into the room the pastel green room and tapped on the door to let Dan know I was coming in. 

“Hey”, I said kneeling down by Bea’s bed and taking Dan’s free hand into mine,

“Hi. How long have you been spying?" 

"I wasn’t spying, I was observing, and not long” Phil gave Dan’s hand a squeeze and planted a kiss on the top of his head while he was looking at the ground from embarrassment, then right back up at me. “I did hear you talking to Bea, about how much you care”.

“She means so much to me, Phil” Dan then looked back at Bea. “I wouldn’t trade her for anything. I care about both of you so much I can’t even begin to describe that. You and I met when I was a depressed and almost suicidal teen. For christ’s sake, I was your biggest fan and I actually got to meet you. You even inspired me to make a channelPhil you saved me, when I’m with you I just feel better. You give off an aurora of joy and optimism, and I’m so glad it’s rubbed off on me. I never really said it, but I went to school in Manchester to be closer to you. Eventually I moved in with you and realized that law is not something I wanted to pursue. I broke down, you were there and you didn’t walk away. You stood by me and we even made the best and scariest decision of my life. We moved to London, with basically no money, in hopes that BBC Radio 1 would like our show that we sent in. We were lucky, we had a growing YouTube audience and got a radio show. That show was fun while it lasted and sad when it ended. But little did we know that 3 years after the end of that show we would have longer, funnier and better show that would win 2 awards in 2017. In all that time, we kept our relationship some what secret. Never really making a big deal about coming put, it just got to the point where it was so obvious that everyone could tell. The way we always stare at each other it wasn’t that hard to notice that we cared about each other, we did have to clear up somethings on Twitter though”.

Now I was blushing like crazy and Dan hadn’t even finished. He paused, chuckled and then continued.

“Something I’ll never forget was the day you proposed. Everything was perfect. We spent our morning cuddling in the lounge while watching anime then went out for lunch and had Vietnamese. After eating we walked around for a bit, went shopping. By the time we came home, I was so happy and content with my day.”

He paused again and his smile grew even bigger

“Your proposal was probably the smoothest thing you have ever pulled off.”

“Yeah, it really was. We were in the kitchen making dinner when I asked you what you were going to wear to ‘the wedding’ and you were so confused. You thought you forgot one of our friends weddings or something. But when you turned around I was down on one knee and had the open box with your ring inside. Your jaw instantly fell and you smiled like an idiot, but covered it with your hands. You pulled me up into a kiss and then hugged me for what seemed like forever while you were trying to hide the fact that you had happy tears falling down your face. It was a great moment, and I’m glad I caught it all on camera.”

“Then maybe a year later, we actually got married. Dark floral, the best and most beautiful theme we could have chosen. Our photo shoot looked amazing too, with my bouquet of black flowers and yours of pastels. Oh, that was the best day ever.” 

Dan finished his sentence with a sigh and leaned on me, resting his head on my chest and looking up at me. I gazed at him and placed a kiss on his nose. 

“Agreed. But, I think the day we found out we could get her,” I motioned to Bea, “might have that beat.”

“Of course. When they actually found out there was a safe way for same sex parents to have biological children, I almost exploded with happiness. Although the process was complicated and a bit strange at times, it was all worth it.” 

I smiled down at Dan and set my head atop his. We could have layed like this forever. All cozy and sleepy, our chests rising and falling in perfect synchronization. Eventually we decided to go to sleep in our own room.

After all the lights were off and doors locked, Dan and I nuzzled into our bed. Even though we had a king sized one, we were as close as possible. With Dan wrapped around me, right as I was drifting off to sleep I heard his delicate and quiet voice.

“I don’t think I have ever been this happy and content with life.”

“I 100% agree.”

And with that, I was asleep.