i love elves with big ears like not subtle “maybe im an elf, you don’t know, you can’t see it behind my hair” ears like “im a goddamned elf and i dare you to comment on my ears loser, do it, just try me” ears y'know
The door is rusted shut. It also has no knob and isn't real. None of these doors are. What, did you think we'd let you in any of these doors? Fucking idiot.
This door requires an absurdly specific key only obtainable by doing an absurd puzzle. Why is everything in this building fucking locked?
Resident Evil 4:
Just kick the door in half. You don't give a fuck. Fuck this guy's house, it's my house now.
Go print out some words on a stone printer. They're like keycards. But rocks.
Rule of Rose:
Some little fucker is going to shut the door on you. What a prick.
I hope you like scrabble.
Dino Crisis 2:
It seems that someone misplaced a large vehicle into this door. Go find a key in a pond to open the other door.
Hey I hope you like doing silly puzzles because here's a clock, go ahead and input that time you read about earlier.
Left 4 Dead:
I mean, yeah, that door opens, but the hunter behind it isn't going to make things easier for you. Oops, it was just a horde.
Well that door's right fucked, innit? You see those boxes over there? You know what to do.
Same as above but with Mr. Struts on your ass the entire time.
If it's a locked door, you're gonna need a keycode. Hope you're ready to fight the burer behind it. The pseudogiant, too.
There's a lobsterman behind that door. Don't open it. Don't even open the sub door. There's lobstermen out there. Time to leave.
You're going to have to go into some guy's memories and make it so that he doesn't get dead to get through this door. Or maybe a bear's memories. Awesome.
OPEN DOOR. OPEN THAT DOOR. OPEN KITCHEN DOOR. OPEN DOOR. OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR AAAAAA JESUS CHRIST RIO PLEASE I BEG OF YOU OPEN THE DOOR
Echo Night Beyond:
Look through some really slow moving cameras until you figure out what you need to open the door, then proceed to immediately make a mad dash for the items while a ghost of a little girl kinda jogs towards you in an apparently immensely threatening fashion because your heart rate is literally breaking 300 bpm whenever she's within 3 feet of you.
listen, jontron has been horrible since GG’s inception. i mean that doesn’t make any of the recent and not-so-recent BATSHIT GARBAGE he’s said any less BATSHIT, but i’m just shocked it took him agreeing with Actual White Supremacists and his racist tirade in that debate stream to get people to realize that his ~Ironic Racism/Misogyny/Transphobia over all these years has either transformed into or always was genuine racism/misogyny/transphobia. (rape mention past this point.) anyway my awakening moment was back in highschool (actually probably 2013 now that i think about it) watching GG for the first time, the iconic sonic 06 playthrough and thinking it was really funny!! i remember my face hurting from smiling and laughing so much. at least until jontron straight up said he wanted to rape a female NPC they ran into. and as a teenage girl AT THAT EXACT POINT IN TIME dealing with sexual assault and rape joke harassment shit from a male classmate, and watching funny videos on the internet to forget about what i was dealing with, that “joke” wiped the smile off my face and i immediately started crying and closed the video instantly and never finished watching the playthrough or touched another GG video until years after danny replaced jon. (and even then i didn’t stick around super long either - my mexican ass can only stand so many ~ironic~ ‘dirty mexican’ jokes and bad ‘accent humor’, even if not as overtly horrible as jon had been.) anyway my point is that it’s just really funny that people who had been SAYING all these years that “he’s just kidding!! him saying rapey and racist things are just jokes!!!” are for some reason shocked now that it turns out he wasn’t joking at all, as if a totally not racist or misogynistic person would think it’s okay or be comfortable enough to joke about those things to begin with. it’s almost as funny as the fact that jontron thinks him making those kinds of comments has no effect on the audience he seems to crave so badly!!! (read: his non white, jewish, female, disabled, and victims of sexual assault former fans who got tired of his shit. not to mention alienating his ‘heroes’ like neil c. for openly being a pos where neil could see it LMAO.)
TL;DR: jontron has literally always been shit, he’s just been a lot louder about it lately bc he’s managed to weed out all his decent fans and left only his nasty hugbox who never challenge his racist rapey self.