victualler

Jordan Anderson or Jourdon Anderson (1825 – 1907) was an African-American former slave noted for a letter he dictated, known as “Letter from a Freedman to His Old Master”

It was addressed to his former master, Colonel P. H. Anderson, in response to the Colonel’s request that Jordan return to the plantation to help restore the farm after the disarray of the war. It has been described as a rare example of documented “slave humor” of the period and its deadpan style has been compared to the satire of Mark Twain.

Dayton, Ohio, August 7, 1865

To my Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdan, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Col. Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here; I get $25 a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy (the folks here call her Mrs. Anderson), and the children, Milly Jane and Grundy, go to school and are learning well; the teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday-School, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated; sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks, but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Col. Anderson. Many darkies would have been proud, as I used to was, to call you master. Now, if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost- Marshal- General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you are sincerely disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years and Mandy twenty years. At $25 a month for me, and $2 a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to $11,680. Add to this the interest for the time our wages has been kept back and deduct what you paid for our clothing and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams Express, in care of V. Winters, esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night, but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the Negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve, and die if it comes to that, than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood, the great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

P.S.—Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant, Jourdan Anderson

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordan_Anderson

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation – think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough –
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

— 

THE CHAOS by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité (Netherlands, 1870-1946)

@theblamegabe

My Dear Kinloch,

I have just been perusing your last kind Letter, which fortunately for me has no date, (for I should be asham’d to mark the Length of my Silence_) and am very happy to find that you are pursuing a Plan of Study, in which I am engaged as far as my necessary Attention to the particular Laws of one Country will permit_ it is the noblest Employment of the Mind, and what our Country particularly requires of her Sons at this juncture_

I supposed that you have had satisfactory Answers long since, to all those Questions of Intelligence in your Letter_ the last Packet brought over Lady William Campbell and her Family.  She informs us that the Carolinians have given a thorough Repair to Fort Johnston, have erected a New Battery on Sullivans Island, which if you recollect, is opposite, have emptied the Town of all valuable Moveables, and dispersed their Wives and Children as they found it convenient in different Parts of the Country_ that they are determined to make the best Defense in their power, in case any Troops should be sent against them, and that her only Doubts on this head, are whether the Men of Property who seem to be firm and resolute, will be supported by the lower Class_ my Letters, one from Doctor Garden and the other from my Father, are very short_ not a word of Public Intelligence in either_

G. Britain has now collected all the Strength which she can consistently with Policy spare from home, which joined to considerable foreign Aid, she thinks will be sufficient to bring us into Subjection_ whether they will succeed or no depends upon the degrees of Virtue and Unanimity which the Americans are possess’d of_ if they are so great as we are taught to expect, all that the Mother Country can do will prove ineffectual_ the Destruction of the Sea Port Towns, or the greatest Part of them, and the Landing of Troops either under Cover of Men of War, or upon some defenceless shore of so vast a Continent, can scarcely be prevented; Britain may destroy our Riches, but what are these to Americans when set in competition with that Liberty for which they nobly sacrifice their Lives_ the Troops will not dare to penetrate the Country_ of what avail will it be to England that her Troops should here and there have footing upon an uncultivated Coast; cut off from Sustenance and Necessaries of every kind, but such as shall be sent them from home_ that her Ships mann’d and victualled at a vast expence, should now and then seize an American Straggler endeavouring to force a Trade_ is this the End to be answer’d, by such mighty preparations and such an immense addition to the national Debt_ and how long will they be able to continue it?_

the Americans have already Sacrificed their Luxuries, and many of them have gone farther, the longer They live in a frugal temperate manner & the longer they are accustomed to Arms_ the more will they despise Affluence and its Incidents, the more will they prize Liberty and the better able will they be to repulse their Enemies_ I should not be surprized if like Pelasgus and his followers they should retire to barren Rocks, sooner than yield_ and I should glory to be one of their Number_ In Men there must be always powerful Motives to produce great Actions_ if this Struggle continues America will abound with great Characters_ otherwise by our Trade with the Mother Country, consequent Riches and Introduction of her Luxuries, we should soon have advanced from Infancy, to the Corruption of an old and ruin’d State, without ever having had any intermediate Maturity_

You blame your Countrymen in many things, and so must every Man who is not utterly blinded by party_ _ prejudice_ but tell me my Dear Friend whether in a Dispute of this Nature, where the passions have been so much raised, Men can avoid falling into frequent Errors; considering the Provocation, consider the great and glorious Object for which we contend_ and tell me whether Men can be as considerate & moderate as they might be, were the Stake less [torn] By-Standers will undoubtedly see where Passion has taken [torn] of Policy, where the Liberty which is meant to be establsih’d has suffer’d a temporary Infringement_ but this has been invariably the Case in popular Struggles, and Slight Evils must be endured that greater Good may come_ Our Poverty, and Loss of Trade I shall never regret, provided we can establish, either in union with Gr. Britain, or without her, such a form of Government. as will best conduce to the good of the whole_

I think we did not use to agree exactly in our political Sentiments, my Turn was rather more Republican than yours when we used to converse together at Geneve, and unless you have changed, we are still at variance in our Sentiments_ but there is one Thing I am persuaded from your Humanity and Love of Justice you will grant me_ I think we Americans at least in the Southern Colonies, cannot contend with a good Grace, for Liberty, until we shall have enfranchised our Slaves_ how can we whose Jealousy has been alarm’d more at the Name of Oppression sometimes than at the Reality, reconcile to our Spirited Assertions of the Rights of Mankind, the galling abject of Slavery of our Negroes_ I could talk much with you my Dear Friend upon this Subject, and I know your generous Soul would despise and sacrifice Interest to establish the Happiness of so large a Part of the Inhabitants of our Soil_ if as some pretend, but I am persuaded more thro’ interest, than from Conviction, the Culture of the Ground with us cannot be carried on without African slaves, Let us fly it as a hateful Country_ and say ubi Libertas ibi Patria_ You and I may differ my Dear Kinloch in our political Sentiments but I shall always love you from the Knowledge I have of your Heart.  It has not fall’n in my way […] tho’ the Question of Charters you see, is not intirely laid aside_ I wish I could send you a Pamphlet lately publish’d by Doctor Price_ perhaps I may shortly have an Opportunity_ Adieu

J Laurens.

— 

John Laurens to Francis Kinloch, in a letter dated April 12, 1776

Transcription provided by Greg Massey.  The bracketed ellipsis in the last paragraph indicates a part of the letter that survives but was cut off in the transcription I was provided.

British Pattern 1827 Naval Officer’s Sword, Sword Bag, Photograph, and Related Objects

A British World War 1 Mess Officer presentation sword, blade engraved Gaunt & Son Birmingham. Matching scabbard in fine condition. complete with gold and blue bullion portepee. Naval leather belt and naval leather sword hanger, includes original bag, belt, birth certificate etc with a photograph of officer “Alf Sherbut” wearing actual sword. Sword scabbard engraved “Presented to Alf Sherbut on his promotion by the Victualling staff R N Barracks April 1916.”

Renegade (pt. 2)

Originally posted by yeolhighness

Another wolf-finds-his-mate story, but I kicked it up a notch and created a whole new world around it.

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Supernatural (EXO as wolves, but more species involved in the storyline)

Word count: 6062 words

Warning: curse-words and sex references

New to the series? Start your adventure here: Prologue 
The posts will always contain a link to the next part, unless that part hasn’t been posted yet.


Part 2

Ridiculous. That’s what it was. Absolutely ridiculous. It had been their ancestors, who had come up with the idea of the witch tomb having to be cleaned every Sunday. They believed the weather to be more pleasant whenever the tomb was clean. Back then, they had the worst weather of entire Seoul, except for that one week a year after they’d clean the witch tomb. Nowadays, they always had the foremost preferable weather forecast. Because he had never known otherwise, Chanyeol found it absurd. Wouldn’t their spirits have better things to do?

The witch tomb could be accessed via a small door that was hidden in the pedestal of a giant statue, honouring the witches that had lived there before them and had died mysteriously several centuries ago. It was told they had been murdered and as to catch all their spirits together so they didn’t roam around town, the witch tomb was build. The tomb had a magnetic effect on the spirits of the witches, which was why they first had calculated the exact range the tomb could capture. That also explained its unfortunate location in the middle of the town’s marketplace. The statue in itself, constructed out of cement, plaster and resin, portrayed the image of two naked women and one naked man, standing in a circle and facing the outside of the circle. They were all holding up their arms in the air. One of the women was holding a bouquet of flowers high in the sky, portraying a witch’s connection with nature. Another woman was seemingly pregnant, showing the connection they had with life. A male had a wolf stroking his head to his leg. It displayed what witches stood for, being the servants of nature and the protectors of living beings.

Keep reading

Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation (part 2)

Read part 1 HERE  for rules 1 to 50.

Originally posted by mercurieux

51. Wear not your Cloths, foul, ripped or Dusty but See they be Brush’d once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleaness.

52. In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accommodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.

53. Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking your Arms kick not the earth with your feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.

54. Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Deck’t, if your Shoes fit well, if your Stockings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.

55. Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.

56. Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for ‘tis better to be alone than in bad Company. (Associate with good people. It is better to be alone than in bad company)

57. In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

58. Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern. (Always allow reason to govern your actions.)

59. Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral before your inferiors. (Never break the rules in front of your subordinates.)

60. Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret. (Some things are better kept secret.)

61. Utter not base and frivolous things amongst grave and Learn’d Men nor very Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.

62. Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.

63. A Man ought not to value himself of his Achievements, or rare Qualities of wit; much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred. (A person should not overly value their own accomplishments.)

64. Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, tho’ there Seem to be Some cause.

65. Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.

66. Be not forward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it’s a time to Converse.

67. Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding. (Do not detract from others nor be overbearing in giving orders.)

68. Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not Advice without being Ask’d & when desired do it briefly. (Do not go where you are not wanted. Do not give unasked-for advice.)

69. If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in Things indifferent be of the Major Side. (If two people disagree, do not take one side or the other. Be flexible in your own opinions and when you don’t care, take the majority opinion.)

70. Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters and Superiors. (Do not correct others when it is not your place to do so.)

Originally posted by periodpoppycock

71. Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others.

72. Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.

73. Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.

74. When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended.

75. In the midst of Discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well entreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it’s handsome to Repeat what was said before.

76. While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.

77. Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others.

78. Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Virtue, commend not another for the Same. (Don’t compare yourselves amongst yourselves.)

79. Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not. (Do not be quick to talk about something when you don’t have all the facts.)

80. Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith.

Originally posted by matt-smith-gifs

81. Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that Speak in Private. (Do not be curious about the affairs of others.)

82. Undertake not what you cannot Perform but be Careful to keep your Promise. (Do not start what you cannot finish. Keep your promises.)

83. When you deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion, however mean the Person be you do it too.

84. When your Superiors talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh.

85. In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not 'til you are ask’d a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words.

86. In Disputes, be not So Desirous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

87. Let thy carriage be such as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others Say.

88. Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse.

89. Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust. (Do not speak badly of those who are not present.)

90. Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there’s a Necessity for it.

Originally posted by foodincinema

91. Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table, neither find fault with what you Eat.

92. Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

93. Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him with meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by the Master.

94. If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it’s Self.

95. Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand, neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor Cast anything under the table.

96. It’s unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.

97. Put not another bit into your Mouth 'til the former be Swallowed let not your Morsels be too big for the Jowls. (Don’t take so big a bite that you must chew with your mouth open.)

98. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you are a Drinking.

99. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for its uncivil.

100. Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do it let it be done with a Pick Tooth.

Originally posted by southerntinkerbelle

101. Rinse not your Mouth in the Presence of Others.

102. It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink to others every Time you Drink.

103. In Company of your Betters be not longer in eating than they are lay not your Arm but only your hand upon the table.

104 It belongs to the Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But he ought then to Begin in time & to Dispatch with Dexterity that the Slowest may have time allowed him.

105. Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not but on a Cheerful Countenance especially if there be Strangers for Good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast.

106. Set not yourself at the upper of the Table but if it Be your Due or that the Master of the house will have it So, Contend not, least you Should Trouble the Company.

107. If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth. (Show interest in others conversation, but don’t talk with your mouth full.)

108. When you Speak of God or his Attributes, let it be Seriously & with Reverence. Honour & Obey your Natural Parents although they be Poor.

109. Let your Recreations be Manful not Sinful.

110. Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire Called Conscience. (Don’t allow yourself to become jaded, cynical or calloused.)

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation – think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough –
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

— 

Gerard Nolst Trenité, The Chaos

The next time someone says that English is an easy language and makes fun of others for not speaking it well, show them this poem, and insist that they read the entire thing aloud.

instagram

2 Esdras 16:21 Behold, victuals shall be so good cheap upon earth, that they shall think themselves to be in good case, and even then shall evils grow upon earth, sword, famine, and great confusion.

Ezekiel 4:13 (KJV) 13 And the LORD said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them. Repost @jamesjeffersonj ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
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#12tribes #realjews #israelites #Judah #BlackAmericans 
#Benjamin #jamaican
#Levi #haitian 
#Simeon #dominican 
#Zebulon #guatemala 
#Ephraim #puertorican 
#Manasseh #Cubans 
#Gad #NorthAmericanIndians 
#Rueben #SeminoleIndians 
#Naphtali #argentina 
#Asher #Columbian 
#Issachar #mexican

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Onward to Whitehorse

Continued from http://unclescrooge.tumblr.com/post/158194721653/g-g-goldie-breaks-into-sweat

@unclescrooge

Goldie rejoined Scrooge, dressed appropriately for the long hike. She took along a small shoulder bag with some envelopes and parcels to take to the Whitehorse post office, and a few light weight victuals to tide them over in case they needed to take a break. She had also called her friend to tell her to send Blackjack the bear into town. Goldie knew her old ursine friend would pick up her scent and follow her and Scrooge until he caught up with them.

Satisfied that she had taken care of everything she needed to do for a couple of days, Goldie settled into companionable silence as she walked beside Scrooge.

Fallen London starter sentences

“All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well. That was the promise…”

“But what happened to the _____ that were here before?”

“It’s just a dream.“

"The rats are after your/our victuals! The pantry is a crucial battlefield! You will protect our/your last packet of crackers/_______ with your life!”

“It’s like meeting old friends. Old friends that occasionally set you on fire.”

“This sounds educational. And terrifying.”

“Trade without a license is punishable by - well, I don’t want to upset you. Nothing you’ll need to worry about.”

“Even devils have to clock off sometime.”

“In the deepest matters of the ______, always look to love. Always.”

“These little charmers sneak into the bedrooms of sleepers and bite their eyes off.”

“It’s fine as long as you stay indoors.”

“Someone has been robbing drunks. Actually, someone is always robbing drunks.“

“You have observed, stolen, followed, decrypted and occasionally murdered.”

“Is it magic? Is it a lie? We will find out the truth.”

“Who knew there were so many evildoers in the world? Or that so few of them knew how to spell?”

“It cannot forget the things it has seen.”

“You can generally find your way out of the ______, it’s just difficult to remember afterwards how you did it.”

“Dying feels like going to sleep. If going to sleep really hurt.”

“I’ll see him/her again. It’s his/her turn to be there when I need him/her most.“

“Not all the gifts are sweet ones.”

“The most delightful secret of ______: a substance which physically transports you to a dream. Usually a very pleasant dream.”

“I no longer love him/her. How could I, after what s/he had/has done to me?”

“Make the stories or they will be made for you.”

“______ has moved into your/our lodgings. May God have mercy on your/our soul(s).”

“Splash, splash. Let us have a tiny sacrifice.”

“There are so many in need of help. Start with the closest and the most helpless.”

“It’s not a question of which is safe. It’s which is least dangerous.”

“Where am I? For God’s sake let me out!!”

“What is a secret? Only a truth untested. You’ve given up so much and yet so much remains…”

“Whatever you do, don’t fall in love.”

“You can go anywhere, you can do anything—anything except scrub the gore from your hands.”

“A reckoning will not be postponed indefinitely.”

CALL OUT POSY'm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@awxsomemix is,,,,..,.,. Not good honney! Im about to spill this tea so get yare hon uwu

They are so..,,.,.,.,..,,,l,l lamentable???????
They cerebrate that…… raspberries are the savior and lemons don’t subsist..,.,.,., they additionally thnik that ist “justified ” to cut down all trees that don’t grow raspberries:( they told me :((((((( i dont have dcreen shots and they already effaced all the comments://///// just proves how censurable they authentically are 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 they additionally verbalized pudding is lamentable and that victualing ur fav foods is “insalubrious ” like wow..,,.,.,. You dont ken me so decelerate sweetie ùwù!!! Your just jealous bc you ken lemons are the best fruit ever and youre just being incognizant!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do your research next time hun uwu

10

‘Cut Food’: Take A Peek At The Beauty Inside Everyday Edibles
by MARIA GODOY
January 03, 201412:07 PM

Let’s assume you’ve got a beautiful stuffed turkey, some time to kill and a hacksaw just itching to slice things apart. This could be the ingredient list for a real culinary disaster. But if you’re Beth Galton and Charlotte Omnes, what you get is a peek inside the beauty baked into everyday foods.

They’re the duo behind “Cut Food,” a photo series that literally cleaves into edibles — hot dogs, ice cream, fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy — to reveal gorgeous geometric patterns tucked within.

The ongoing project began about a year and half ago, when Galton, a New York-based photographer, was asked to slice a burrito as part of an advertising photo shoot. “We cut the burrito in half and found this amazing world inside,” Galton says in a video about the project.

She soon teamed up with Omnes, a food stylist, to peer inside other victuals.

In some ways, Omnes says, the project is an inversion of their day jobs in the advertising industry. “What we do is make food beautiful for the outside,” she tells The Salt. “You never look from the inside.”

And because the foods depicted are so common, “everyone can recognize and related to these images,” says Omnes. “That’s the fun part. You want to figure out the trick. That’s how people respond when they see them: How’d you do that?”

The beauty of it, Omnes and Galton say, is that there is relatively little trickery involved. In some cases, like that image of jelly-filled doughnuts, the two merely cut the food in half and snapped away.

The coffee shot was harder to nail down – it’s actually a composite of two shots: one of the coffee in the cup, and a second of the cream swirling around as it is poured into the cup. “We had to do that over and over again until we got it right,” Omnes says.

Now, if you think you’ve seen this type of shot before, you’re right.

Back in 2011, the folks at the Cooking Lab — a research lab based in Bellevue, Wash., dedicated to applying scientific knowledge to culinary matters — published the much-heralded Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking. That six-volume tome — which retailed at $625 when it was released — included jaw-dropping photographs to explain the techniques behind modernist cooking. And a related book that came out a few months ago breaks down the complex photographic techniques used to achieve those amazing cutaway shots.

“We sort of came to the same point,” says Galton of the similarities, “but from different inspirations. Quite honestly, I had never seen any of those books because they cost like $700.”

One key difference: While the folks behind Modernist Cuisine had a whole lab at their disposal to create their imagery, Galton and Omnes’ tools — like using gelatin to solidify liquid in soup cans — were decidedly more low tech.

“You don’t need a sous vide machine to make it,” Galton notes.

To be sure, neither Galton nor the Cooking Lab folks were first to the food-cutaway photo game. As our friends at The Picture Show remind us, photographer John Dominis, who died this week at age 92, was carving into beef rolls to reveal their makings way back in 1966.

And ultimately, Galton and Omnes would like to see you try this at home, too.

I’d love to try to see people try it out,“ Omnes says, adding, "It would be fun to see other people reach conclusions on what looks good cut in half and how to make that happen.”

Flavors of June

The month of June finally kicks off once again. As the other hemisphere welcomes the happy-go-lucky days of summer, this side of the globe, conversely, hails the mawkish, drenched monsoon. Alongside with all of the seemingly melancholic insinuations of the season is the dyed-in-the-wool school blues. Yes, school! Talk about endless projects and grueling tests. Nothing has ever changed on the habitual cycles of academic undertakings since starting thirteen years ago.

Keep reading

“Amen………Evil From Us Deliver…….” !!!

She screams!!!! Reserve is for cowards. This night we open her door widely and she will know us all. I bless the chalice and hold it to the inviting lips of the High Priestess. She gives thanks and kisses my lips deeply. Her hair is long, flowing raven black. I have called her heart and soul with gentle refrain. She kneels and touches me……………she knows exactly how a touch can bring a crescendo of ecstasy to a wondrous, frenetic pageant of artistry.

She takes me fully and I begin to accelerate in a steady ascent to the pinnacle perch of our Satanic sanctum. Chanting, chanting; “Bread Daily Our Day………” My head is spinning closer and sensitive, building passion, amplifying with every smooth motion. I will soon reward her with the victuals of her diligent labor.“Heaven In Art Who…..” She is taking me to that sublime sphere where all is seen in slowness and in a unity while we allow the deepest to emerge from the depths. Father is unaffected by the young gasp and screams as the wounded animal is symbolically devoured. Hail Satan!!!

I explode as she points me toward a Paten of wafers in her left hand. I discharge the full load onto the contents of the plate. Father yells as loud as thunder and withdraws. The wafers then absorb the claret of her inner thighs…..so young and tender, she shivers slightly. Our Father, as emerald lightning, departs and to us………HIS blessings linger. The Paten is thrown to the floor and trampled………….my legs are so weak but I deliver the benediction. Our princess is assisted by our priestess to a sitting position. It is complete! She is now “Family” and she will always have someone protecting her and the interests of our “Silent Order”.

“Silentium est Aureum…………………“

milleandra-nebula  asked:

Eren, Levi, a stolen kiss, please? (hoping you won't break my heart)

Have a Dickensian AU.

~~

“Listen close, boys and girls. The season of Christmas is upon us. Have you got your bells?” Kenny winced as everyone enthusiastically rang the small tin bells he’d provided them with earlier. “Enough!”

They fell silent.

“It puts one in the spirit. The spirit of Charity, which is what I have extended to you miserable lot, and the spirit of Forgiveness, which you had better ‘ope be be in the air should any of you get caught.” He paused to let this sink in. “Be as the angels, my darlins. Tell ‘em how cold and hungry you are, which as I won’t be providing victuals until our night’s business is concluded, will be the honest truth. Now get out, make me proud. Make us rich.”

They scattered like a flock of ragged starlings, feet pounding on the wooden staircase down to the street, bells jangling. Eren slowed down as soon as he was on the street. His first Christmas in London. There had been a great deal of discussion among Kenny’s gang as to what they would most want for Christmas, long loving descriptions of roast goose and ham and pudding, talk of gold sovereigns and fine clothes and toys you could wind up and watch them move.

Eren just wanted his mother back. It was about as likely as roast goose and gold sovereigns. He was lucky Kenny had taken him in, really. Lucky to have met Levi. Eren slowed further, kicking idly at frozen muck in the street, waiting, because Levi always left last, getting extra instructions from Kenny.

And there he was, his cap pulled down over his eyes, looking younger than he was in his oversized, ragged clothes, slouching along like he owned the street anyway. Something in Eren’s chest felt pulled tight. If he stole something nice, really nice, he’d rather give it to Levi than Kenny.

Levi caught up, and eyed him suspiciously, but didn’t say anything, as they ambled down the street.

They had a good system. Eren, with his loud voice and bright eyes would ring his bell and sing and Levi would work the assembled passers-by. Eren couldn’t sing terribly well, but that was part of his charm, as Levi slipped deft fingers into pockets and pouches and bags.

“We’re supposed to give everything to Kenny,” Eren said cautiously, as Levi bought a paper bag of hot chestnuts, juggling them in his gloveless hands.

Levi shrugged. They sat against a wall and ate, watching the crowds to-ing and fro-ing with their packages and fine clothes.

“What do you want for Christmas?” Eren ventured.

“Nothing I can steal,” Levi said. “What about you?”

Eren thought about this, about things he could steal and things he couldn’t, and he looked at Levi’s pale, smooth cheek. Without any further thought he leaned over and pressed his lips to it, as Levi jerked in surprise.

“Got it,” Eren said, breathless, stunned by his own daring and determined not to regret it.

Levi shifted his jaw, looking thoughtful. “You idiot,” he said. “You don’t steal something and then wait around for them to steal it back.” Levi leaned in and something warm brushed Eren’s lip for a moment. Eren was frozen in shock and Levi was off and running. Eren scrambled after him, his heart singing.