victualler

would u guys still love me if you found out that I have an appalachian dialect and use words like “yinz, feller, nibby, feller,” and “victuals” (pronounced viddles). Bc…. I’m mountain folk. Do u know how long it took my to figure out “kin” didn’t mean that someone thought of sauske as their brother? The other day someth good happened and I literally said “yee haw” out loud. 

Appalachian dialect is weird bc it comes in 3 flavors: Pittsburgh, S O U T H E R N, and standard-except-for-their-ridiculous-padded-vocab.

I have a mix of one and three!

Jordan Anderson or Jourdon Anderson (1825 – 1907) was an African-American former slave noted for a letter he dictated, known as “Letter from a Freedman to His Old Master”

It was addressed to his former master, Colonel P. H. Anderson, in response to the Colonel’s request that Jordan return to the plantation to help restore the farm after the disarray of the war. It has been described as a rare example of documented “slave humor” of the period and its deadpan style has been compared to the satire of Mark Twain.

Dayton, Ohio, August 7, 1865

To my Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdan, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Col. Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here; I get $25 a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy (the folks here call her Mrs. Anderson), and the children, Milly Jane and Grundy, go to school and are learning well; the teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday-School, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated; sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks, but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Col. Anderson. Many darkies would have been proud, as I used to was, to call you master. Now, if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost- Marshal- General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you are sincerely disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years and Mandy twenty years. At $25 a month for me, and $2 a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to $11,680. Add to this the interest for the time our wages has been kept back and deduct what you paid for our clothing and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams Express, in care of V. Winters, esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night, but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the Negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve, and die if it comes to that, than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood, the great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

P.S.—Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant, Jourdan Anderson

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordan_Anderson

“For most people mummies are synonymous with Egypt. However, it is less well known that the ancient Egyptians mummified animals as well as humans. For the ancient Egyptians, the act of mummification ensured that the body of a creature would be preserved forever, and thus they conferred the potential for eternal life upon it. Throughout history, however, animal mummies, like their human counterparts, had little value as artifacts. Many animal mummies have survived, and are now valued as sources of information on the culture and environment of ancient Egypt. Broadly speaking, animal mummies can be divided into four different types: beloved pets, buried with their owners; victual mummies, consisting of funerary food offerings for humans; sacred animals, worshiped during their lifetime and mummified with pomp upon their death; and votive mummies, dedicated as offerings at the shrines of specific gods to whom these animals were sacred.”

Divine Creatures: Animal Mummies in Ancient Egypt, by Salima Ikram

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation – think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough –
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

— 

THE CHAOS by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité (Netherlands, 1870-1946)

@theblamegabe

My Dear Kinloch,

I have just been perusing your last kind Letter, which fortunately for me has no date, (for I should be asham’d to mark the Length of my Silence_) and am very happy to find that you are pursuing a Plan of Study, in which I am engaged as far as my necessary Attention to the particular Laws of one Country will permit_ it is the noblest Employment of the Mind, and what our Country particularly requires of her Sons at this juncture_

I supposed that you have had satisfactory Answers long since, to all those Questions of Intelligence in your Letter_ the last Packet brought over Lady William Campbell and her Family.  She informs us that the Carolinians have given a thorough Repair to Fort Johnston, have erected a New Battery on Sullivans Island, which if you recollect, is opposite, have emptied the Town of all valuable Moveables, and dispersed their Wives and Children as they found it convenient in different Parts of the Country_ that they are determined to make the best Defense in their power, in case any Troops should be sent against them, and that her only Doubts on this head, are whether the Men of Property who seem to be firm and resolute, will be supported by the lower Class_ my Letters, one from Doctor Garden and the other from my Father, are very short_ not a word of Public Intelligence in either_

G. Britain has now collected all the Strength which she can consistently with Policy spare from home, which joined to considerable foreign Aid, she thinks will be sufficient to bring us into Subjection_ whether they will succeed or no depends upon the degrees of Virtue and Unanimity which the Americans are possess’d of_ if they are so great as we are taught to expect, all that the Mother Country can do will prove ineffectual_ the Destruction of the Sea Port Towns, or the greatest Part of them, and the Landing of Troops either under Cover of Men of War, or upon some defenceless shore of so vast a Continent, can scarcely be prevented; Britain may destroy our Riches, but what are these to Americans when set in competition with that Liberty for which they nobly sacrifice their Lives_ the Troops will not dare to penetrate the Country_ of what avail will it be to England that her Troops should here and there have footing upon an uncultivated Coast; cut off from Sustenance and Necessaries of every kind, but such as shall be sent them from home_ that her Ships mann’d and victualled at a vast expence, should now and then seize an American Straggler endeavouring to force a Trade_ is this the End to be answer’d, by such mighty preparations and such an immense addition to the national Debt_ and how long will they be able to continue it?_

the Americans have already Sacrificed their Luxuries, and many of them have gone farther, the longer They live in a frugal temperate manner & the longer they are accustomed to Arms_ the more will they despise Affluence and its Incidents, the more will they prize Liberty and the better able will they be to repulse their Enemies_ I should not be surprized if like Pelasgus and his followers they should retire to barren Rocks, sooner than yield_ and I should glory to be one of their Number_ In Men there must be always powerful Motives to produce great Actions_ if this Struggle continues America will abound with great Characters_ otherwise by our Trade with the Mother Country, consequent Riches and Introduction of her Luxuries, we should soon have advanced from Infancy, to the Corruption of an old and ruin’d State, without ever having had any intermediate Maturity_

You blame your Countrymen in many things, and so must every Man who is not utterly blinded by party_ _ prejudice_ but tell me my Dear Friend whether in a Dispute of this Nature, where the passions have been so much raised, Men can avoid falling into frequent Errors; considering the Provocation, consider the great and glorious Object for which we contend_ and tell me whether Men can be as considerate & moderate as they might be, were the Stake less [torn] By-Standers will undoubtedly see where Passion has taken [torn] of Policy, where the Liberty which is meant to be establsih’d has suffer’d a temporary Infringement_ but this has been invariably the Case in popular Struggles, and Slight Evils must be endured that greater Good may come_ Our Poverty, and Loss of Trade I shall never regret, provided we can establish, either in union with Gr. Britain, or without her, such a form of Government. as will best conduce to the good of the whole_

I think we did not use to agree exactly in our political Sentiments, my Turn was rather more Republican than yours when we used to converse together at Geneve, and unless you have changed, we are still at variance in our Sentiments_ but there is one Thing I am persuaded from your Humanity and Love of Justice you will grant me_ I think we Americans at least in the Southern Colonies, cannot contend with a good Grace, for Liberty, until we shall have enfranchised our Slaves_ how can we whose Jealousy has been alarm’d more at the Name of Oppression sometimes than at the Reality, reconcile to our Spirited Assertions of the Rights of Mankind, the galling abject of Slavery of our Negroes_ I could talk much with you my Dear Friend upon this Subject, and I know your generous Soul would despise and sacrifice Interest to establish the Happiness of so large a Part of the Inhabitants of our Soil_ if as some pretend, but I am persuaded more thro’ interest, than from Conviction, the Culture of the Ground with us cannot be carried on without African slaves, Let us fly it as a hateful Country_ and say ubi Libertas ibi Patria_ You and I may differ my Dear Kinloch in our political Sentiments but I shall always love you from the Knowledge I have of your Heart.  It has not fall’n in my way […] tho’ the Question of Charters you see, is not intirely laid aside_ I wish I could send you a Pamphlet lately publish’d by Doctor Price_ perhaps I may shortly have an Opportunity_ Adieu

J Laurens.

— 

John Laurens to Francis Kinloch, in a letter dated April 12, 1776

Transcription provided by Greg Massey.  The bracketed ellipsis in the last paragraph indicates a part of the letter that survives but was cut off in the transcription I was provided.

Renegade (pt. 2)

Originally posted by yeolhighness

Another wolf-finds-his-mate story, but I kicked it up a notch and created a whole new world around it.

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Supernatural (EXO as wolves, but more species involved in the storyline)

Word count: 6062 words

Warning: curse-words and sex references

New to the series? Start your adventure here: Prologue 
The posts will always contain a link to the next part, unless that part hasn’t been posted yet.


Part 2

Ridiculous. That’s what it was. Absolutely ridiculous. It had been their ancestors, who had come up with the idea of the witch tomb having to be cleaned every Sunday. They believed the weather to be more pleasant whenever the tomb was clean. Back then, they had the worst weather of entire Seoul, except for that one week a year after they’d clean the witch tomb. Nowadays, they always had the foremost preferable weather forecast. Because he had never known otherwise, Chanyeol found it absurd. Wouldn’t their spirits have better things to do?

The witch tomb could be accessed via a small door that was hidden in the pedestal of a giant statue, honouring the witches that had lived there before them and had died mysteriously several centuries ago. It was told they had been murdered and as to catch all their spirits together so they didn’t roam around town, the witch tomb was build. The tomb had a magnetic effect on the spirits of the witches, which was why they first had calculated the exact range the tomb could capture. That also explained its unfortunate location in the middle of the town’s marketplace. The statue in itself, constructed out of cement, plaster and resin, portrayed the image of two naked women and one naked man, standing in a circle and facing the outside of the circle. They were all holding up their arms in the air. One of the women was holding a bouquet of flowers high in the sky, portraying a witch’s connection with nature. Another woman was seemingly pregnant, showing the connection they had with life. A male had a wolf stroking his head to his leg. It displayed what witches stood for, being the servants of nature and the protectors of living beings.

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Compaatibillity

Compatibility.

Being in a strategic and recondite place inside the walls, the Scouting Legion’s barracks, hold at least one hundred soldiers. Hence, once a week, a small contingent is sent to the nearest city to buy groceries and supplies to feed the military and supply/provide them with anything they needed, as long as it’s not expensive.

This time, the ones sent to Karanese to do the shopping, ae Captain Levi and Petra Ral. Both of them, members of the Special Operations Squad. Contrary to what could be expected, the Captain doesn’t consider this mission as a total waste of time, since it gives him the opportunity to buy cleaning supplies, according to his needs. Sometimes, the soldiers in charge of the shopping, buy less effective detergents, or low quality cleaning brushes that can only be used once. Aside of that, this visit would allow him to spend time with his subordinate; the only one he holds special care for. For some reason, he doesn’t dare to name or reckon, Levi enjoys Petra’s company.

As for Soldier Ral, she has mixed feelings for the Captain. She is aware of the rank difference and the military hierarchy, as well as how unprofessional it is to think about his superior the way she does; Petra, aside of holding great admiration and respect for him, she is conscious of the undeniable attraction for him, that sometimes seems to be mutual. Not only on the physical part, but also the chemistry between them, which makes them look like two different puzzle pieces that fit together almost perfectly. A splendid mix between sour and sweet, harsh and soft.

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British Pattern 1827 Naval Officer’s Sword, Sword Bag, Photograph, and Related Objects

A British World War 1 Mess Officer presentation sword, blade engraved Gaunt & Son Birmingham. Matching scabbard in fine condition. complete with gold and blue bullion portepee. Naval leather belt and naval leather sword hanger, includes original bag, belt, birth certificate etc with a photograph of officer “Alf Sherbut” wearing actual sword. Sword scabbard engraved “Presented to Alf Sherbut on his promotion by the Victualling staff R N Barracks April 1916.”

Letter from a Freedman to His Old Master 

by Jourdan Anderson

Dayton, Ohio, August 7, 1865

To my Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdan, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Col. Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here; I get $25 a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy (the folks here call her Mrs. Anderson), and the children, Milly Jane and Grundy, go to school and are learning well; the teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday-School, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated; sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks, but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Col. Anderson. Many darkies would have been proud, as I used to was, to call you master. Now, if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost- Marshal- General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you are sincerely disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years and Mandy twenty years. At $25 a month for me, and $2 a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to $11,680. Add to this the interest for the time our wages has been kept back and deduct what you paid for our clothing and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams Express, in care of V. Winters, esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night, but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the Negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve, and die if it comes to that, than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood, the great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

P.S.—Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant, Jourdan Anderson

The Honeymoon--Chapter 10

Rating: T

Summary:  With the Black Fairy defeated and the Final Battle won, Emma and Killian are able to focus on the important things—like their honeymoon.  Thanks to a souvenir from the latest curse, Killian comes up with a way to give Emma the wedding trip of their dreams.

Missed the Beginning? (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7) (Chapter 8) (Chapter 9)

Tagging a few people who may be interested: @sailormew4@annaamell@flslp87@emmateo26@fleurreads@doracianstormrose@mermaidswans@bethacaciakay@ultraluckycatnd@allfangirlallthetime@effulgentcolors,@ilovemesomekillianjones@kat2609@brooke-to-broch@missgymgirl@hellomommanerd@galadriel26@the-lady-of-misthaven@charmingturkeysandwich@jennjenn615@laschatzi@kimmy46@snowbellewells@iamanneenigma@daxx04@lapi-lazuli@nickillian@a-rose-for-a-savior@in-spirational@gillie@manic-pixiefangirl@britishguyslover@ginnyjinxedandhanshotritafirst@nofeels@holmes-a-holic@kmomof4@linda8084@spartanguard

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They left DunBroch with a full contingent of pipes and drums following them back to the Jolly.  It was a bit weird, but it was supposed to be an honor, so Emma decided to just go with it. Emma stood at the railing of their ship as they sailed away and looked over the assembled kingdom waiting there to see them off.  Front and center were Merida and Macintosh, their hands joined, the happy, excited look of new love plastered on both of their faces.

“They seem happy, don’t they?” Emma said as Killian came to join her at the railing.  “Merida and Macintosh?”

Killian chuckled. “Aye, they do for now.  I wonder how long it will be before they’re screaming at each other again.”

Emma turned in his arms to look up at him.  “You don’t think they’ll last?”

Killian laughed again. “Oh I’m sure they will.  They seem perfectly suited for each other, but I also think they won’t ever be able to make it a week without an explosive argument.”

Emma smiled.  “You’re probably right.  But then they seem to enjoy arguing with each other as much as most people enjoy getting along.”

“And there is one boon to arguing, love,” Killian said, his eyebrows wiggling.

“Yeah?  What’s that?”

He leaned in close and nipped at her earlobe then whispered in her ear.  “After a fight, a couple must make up, and that can be oh so very pleasant.”

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Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation (part 2)

Read part 1 HERE  for rules 1 to 50.

Originally posted by mercurieux

51. Wear not your Cloths, foul, ripped or Dusty but See they be Brush’d once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleaness.

52. In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accommodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.

53. Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking your Arms kick not the earth with your feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.

54. Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Deck’t, if your Shoes fit well, if your Stockings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.

55. Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.

56. Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for ‘tis better to be alone than in bad Company. (Associate with good people. It is better to be alone than in bad company)

57. In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

58. Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern. (Always allow reason to govern your actions.)

59. Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral before your inferiors. (Never break the rules in front of your subordinates.)

60. Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret. (Some things are better kept secret.)

61. Utter not base and frivolous things amongst grave and Learn’d Men nor very Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.

62. Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.

63. A Man ought not to value himself of his Achievements, or rare Qualities of wit; much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred. (A person should not overly value their own accomplishments.)

64. Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, tho’ there Seem to be Some cause.

65. Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.

66. Be not forward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it’s a time to Converse.

67. Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding. (Do not detract from others nor be overbearing in giving orders.)

68. Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not Advice without being Ask’d & when desired do it briefly. (Do not go where you are not wanted. Do not give unasked-for advice.)

69. If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in Things indifferent be of the Major Side. (If two people disagree, do not take one side or the other. Be flexible in your own opinions and when you don’t care, take the majority opinion.)

70. Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters and Superiors. (Do not correct others when it is not your place to do so.)

Originally posted by periodpoppycock

71. Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others.

72. Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.

73. Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.

74. When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended.

75. In the midst of Discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well entreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it’s handsome to Repeat what was said before.

76. While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.

77. Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others.

78. Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Virtue, commend not another for the Same. (Don’t compare yourselves amongst yourselves.)

79. Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not. (Do not be quick to talk about something when you don’t have all the facts.)

80. Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith.

Originally posted by matt-smith-gifs

81. Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that Speak in Private. (Do not be curious about the affairs of others.)

82. Undertake not what you cannot Perform but be Careful to keep your Promise. (Do not start what you cannot finish. Keep your promises.)

83. When you deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion, however mean the Person be you do it too.

84. When your Superiors talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh.

85. In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not 'til you are ask’d a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words.

86. In Disputes, be not So Desirous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

87. Let thy carriage be such as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others Say.

88. Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse.

89. Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust. (Do not speak badly of those who are not present.)

90. Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there’s a Necessity for it.

Originally posted by foodincinema

91. Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table, neither find fault with what you Eat.

92. Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

93. Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him with meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by the Master.

94. If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it’s Self.

95. Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand, neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor Cast anything under the table.

96. It’s unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.

97. Put not another bit into your Mouth 'til the former be Swallowed let not your Morsels be too big for the Jowls. (Don’t take so big a bite that you must chew with your mouth open.)

98. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you are a Drinking.

99. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for its uncivil.

100. Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do it let it be done with a Pick Tooth.

Originally posted by southerntinkerbelle

101. Rinse not your Mouth in the Presence of Others.

102. It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink to others every Time you Drink.

103. In Company of your Betters be not longer in eating than they are lay not your Arm but only your hand upon the table.

104 It belongs to the Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But he ought then to Begin in time & to Dispatch with Dexterity that the Slowest may have time allowed him.

105. Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not but on a Cheerful Countenance especially if there be Strangers for Good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast.

106. Set not yourself at the upper of the Table but if it Be your Due or that the Master of the house will have it So, Contend not, least you Should Trouble the Company.

107. If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth. (Show interest in others conversation, but don’t talk with your mouth full.)

108. When you Speak of God or his Attributes, let it be Seriously & with Reverence. Honour & Obey your Natural Parents although they be Poor.

109. Let your Recreations be Manful not Sinful.

110. Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire Called Conscience. (Don’t allow yourself to become jaded, cynical or calloused.)

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation – think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough –
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

— 

Gerard Nolst Trenité, The Chaos

The next time someone says that English is an easy language and makes fun of others for not speaking it well, show them this poem, and insist that they read the entire thing aloud.

The state, with its monstrous terrific machine, gives us a feeling of suffocation. The state was endurable for the individual as long as it was content to be a soldier and policeman; today the state is everything, banker, usurer, gambling den proprietor, shipowner, procurer, insurance agent, postman, railroader, entrepreneur, teacher, professor, tobacco merchant, and countless other things in addition to its former functions of policeman, judge, jailer, and tax collector. The state, this Moloch of frightful countenance, receives everything, does everything, knows everything, and ruins everything. Every state function is a misfortune. State art is a misfortune, state ownership of shipping, state victualizing the litany could be extended indefinitely…. If men had but a faint idea of the abyss toward which they are moving the number of suicides would increase, for we are approaching a complete destruction of human personality. The state is that frightful machine which swallows living men and spews them out again as dead ciphers. Human life has now no secrets, no intimacy, neither in material affairs nor in spiritual; all corners are smelled into, all movements measured; everyone is locked into his cell and numbered, just as in a prison.
—  Rudolf Rocker
10

‘Cut Food’: Take A Peek At The Beauty Inside Everyday Edibles
by MARIA GODOY
January 03, 201412:07 PM

Let’s assume you’ve got a beautiful stuffed turkey, some time to kill and a hacksaw just itching to slice things apart. This could be the ingredient list for a real culinary disaster. But if you’re Beth Galton and Charlotte Omnes, what you get is a peek inside the beauty baked into everyday foods.

They’re the duo behind “Cut Food,” a photo series that literally cleaves into edibles — hot dogs, ice cream, fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy — to reveal gorgeous geometric patterns tucked within.

The ongoing project began about a year and half ago, when Galton, a New York-based photographer, was asked to slice a burrito as part of an advertising photo shoot. “We cut the burrito in half and found this amazing world inside,” Galton says in a video about the project.

She soon teamed up with Omnes, a food stylist, to peer inside other victuals.

In some ways, Omnes says, the project is an inversion of their day jobs in the advertising industry. “What we do is make food beautiful for the outside,” she tells The Salt. “You never look from the inside.”

And because the foods depicted are so common, “everyone can recognize and related to these images,” says Omnes. “That’s the fun part. You want to figure out the trick. That’s how people respond when they see them: How’d you do that?”

The beauty of it, Omnes and Galton say, is that there is relatively little trickery involved. In some cases, like that image of jelly-filled doughnuts, the two merely cut the food in half and snapped away.

The coffee shot was harder to nail down – it’s actually a composite of two shots: one of the coffee in the cup, and a second of the cream swirling around as it is poured into the cup. “We had to do that over and over again until we got it right,” Omnes says.

Now, if you think you’ve seen this type of shot before, you’re right.

Back in 2011, the folks at the Cooking Lab — a research lab based in Bellevue, Wash., dedicated to applying scientific knowledge to culinary matters — published the much-heralded Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking. That six-volume tome — which retailed at $625 when it was released — included jaw-dropping photographs to explain the techniques behind modernist cooking. And a related book that came out a few months ago breaks down the complex photographic techniques used to achieve those amazing cutaway shots.

“We sort of came to the same point,” says Galton of the similarities, “but from different inspirations. Quite honestly, I had never seen any of those books because they cost like $700.”

One key difference: While the folks behind Modernist Cuisine had a whole lab at their disposal to create their imagery, Galton and Omnes’ tools — like using gelatin to solidify liquid in soup cans — were decidedly more low tech.

“You don’t need a sous vide machine to make it,” Galton notes.

To be sure, neither Galton nor the Cooking Lab folks were first to the food-cutaway photo game. As our friends at The Picture Show remind us, photographer John Dominis, who died this week at age 92, was carving into beef rolls to reveal their makings way back in 1966.

And ultimately, Galton and Omnes would like to see you try this at home, too.

I’d love to try to see people try it out,“ Omnes says, adding, "It would be fun to see other people reach conclusions on what looks good cut in half and how to make that happen.”

Card Concept: Cooks

i’m sort of thinking of Redwall world and to emulate how much cooking matters (seriously Brian Jacques would write about food in great detail for a page or two multiple times in each book. that man filled pages with verbose verbage about victuals) and i think you have chef creatures (maybe literally as a class tbh) who would have in common that they cook by tapping and having you discard a number of card and the effect you get being magnified based on how many different card types you discarded that way. so card types are ingredients you toss into the cooking (by no means a perfect metaphor but i like it)