(I’m going to publish this because this is continuation to this text post. Also, the “goth is a lifestyle/goth is not a lifestyle” debate has gone and will go on forever, so I’m not even going there.)
I don’t know what part of my reply that “actually it’s not!” is referring to, but if it was about goth being about fashion, that’s not what I said. I said goth is much more than the fashion, a statement your second sentence seems to to agree with.
In your original post you didn’t say anything about any other sides of goth except the fashion, which is why I didn’t address them. The fashion was the only thing your post was about, and the main focus was on (in paraphrase) saying that a goth who does not look goth except online is not really one.
Of course I’m not saying that every person who likes horror or other goth-y things is goth. Heck, even Andrew Eldritch isn’t goth. (Why? Because he doesn’t define himself as one and has repeatedly rejected the label.) What I’m saying is that it is not our job to tell people they are “doing it wrong” because they don’t do it like us or because they differ from the stereotype.
That tracksuit-wearing, goth-looking-only-on-Tumblr person you were talking about might know every single Bauhaus song and every line written by Edgar Allan Poe by heart, and that is something you can not tell from their appearance. If they choose to express themself through their appearance online but not in the world outside it, that is their choice and it is not up to us to define who they are based on it or call them names for choosing (or having to follow) a path different from ours. We both agree: fashion is just a slice of goth. So why let it (or the lack of it) dictate our opinion on someone’s “gothness”?
I don’t know how old you think I am or how long you think I’ve been involved in this subculture, but I have been in it long enough to see the diversity of people, backgrounds, and personalities. Maybe it is because I come from a country where “preppy” looking girls can easily be metalheads and “darker” music is nothing unsual on the mainstream radio, but I have learned that the cliché is true: You can’t judge a book by its cover, you can’t judge a person by their looks.
Stereotypes are guidelines, not rules, and no one should feel pressured into limiting themself or compromising their comfort because of what others will think of them. Clothes do not define a person’s “gothness”.
(Addition: I have loads to add to this, especially after that new post you made because it makes me feel like you missed my point and that we have side-tracked and are talking about two different issues. (I’m guessing I’m talking about what your first post seemed to be about, and you’re talking about an issue that was the underlying reason for the first post, but it wasn’t clear then.) But I too am tired of this since I would just end up repeating myself, as I already have.
So I bid you farewell, I hope you see my point some day and see that even all “real goths” can’t or don’t need to express their “gothness” daily.)