victoria state

As the Crown Princess Victoria is currently  on a private trip, she and Prince Daniel will not be able to attend events held in connection with the Canadian State Visit next week, as they usually do. Instead, Princess Madeleine will step into her sister’s place and will participate in the visit, which the court has now confirmed to Swedish Women’s Weekly.

“Princess Madeleine and Chris O'Neill and the Prince Couple will attend the traditional ceremony at the castle, as well as the subsequent lunch. They will also participate in the banquet later in the evening.” says the court’s Communications Director Margareta Thorgren.

The court also confirmed that Madeleine and Chris will be in Sweden for some time, and not only during the state visit.

“Princess Madeleine and Chris did not come to Sweden alone because of the state visit, but because they have other commitments in Sweden other than the state visit.

—  Svenskdam
Nathan Prescott x Fem!Reader ~ Colors

Originally posted by chronosphere-child

The smoke lingers in the air only for a short moment before the wind blows the grey cloud away. Absently you wipe away the ash, which is falling on your knee from the cigarette that dangles dangerously between your lips.

A loud noise brings you back into the reality. One of the new kids probably lost a bet and had to activate the fire alarm. It happens quite often.  

The burning end of your cigarette lights once more as you inhale the smoke. You are not even thinking about leaving your favorite spot. The stairs in front of the back door of the school is a lonely place. Not even Samuel comes back here very often. It’s your time to be alone for a bit… until yet.

The door gets pushed open roughly. You are not fast enough to make space for the hurried visitor. The person bumps into you. “Hey!”, you exclaim extremely pissed, but your next words get stuck in your throat.  

Just a few inches away lies a gun on the stairs. A real weapon on the campus. Without a word the boy picks up the gun to shove it back into the safety of his red jacket. Clear blue eyes meet your [E/C] ones. You notice no color in them. Not a sign that these orbs are actually alive. Not a single feeling in them except for pure panic. Just dead blue eyes.

Neither of you says a word, but both of you know you saw the gun. “Want to take a puff?”, you break the ice cold silence, while you hold out your cigarette for the boy to grab. Nathan clenches his hands even tighter into fists. His knuckles are completely white by now.

“Cat got your tongue? … Or is the infamous Nathan Prescott afraid of smoking?”, a slight smirk appears on your lips matching to your mocking tone. “I don’t even know you!”, his mind is still racing, which results in being unable to form more than a single stupid sentence.

Your challenging pose triggers his arrogance. Nathan takes the cigarette with his free hand. Like you a few moments ago he releases a cold grey cloud. The two of you stare at each other through the smoky air, which makes the situation a bit mysterious. You are still waiting for a warning or his usual “I will sue you”-line, but after his first puff he seems more relaxed.

At least that’s what his dead blue eyes tell you. “That’s not a cigarette”, Nathan states after another moment. You give him a slight shrug, “I never said it’s one.” He doesn’t make attempts to give you back your Mary Jane.  

“You know you are chilled more fun, Prescott”, you are ready to continue with your probably shitty day. Nate grabs your arm to stop you from walking away, “If you say a word about what you saw I …” Bored you roll your eyes and interrupt him, “You’ll sue me and my family. Get yourself a few new lines, Prescott.” Matching to your sarcasm you take back your “cigarette”. It finds its old spot between your lips as you make your way back to your dorm.  

Of course you can feel his blue eyes on you. It’s probably the first time someone spoke back to him like you just did. To be honest you never saw such lifeless eyes. Somehow you want to fill them with colors and emotions. Even if you are not sure Nathan makes it to the day he gets twenty years old with this dangerous lifestyle of his. Such a shame for those beautiful but dead blue eyes…


Nathan grabs the strap of his camera tighter. Since three people saw him with a gun his mind is racing nonstop. He almost feels the pressure on his shoulders. It’s like a weight that drags him down into the darkness.

Suddenly Nathan stops mid-step as something or better said someone catches his full attention. You are lying on the grass with your own camera in your hands. The light shines on your [H/C] hair in a certain way that lures him in. Nate never payed attention to colors and light in pictures, but right now he feels inspired. There is a need to freeze time with help of a photo. Not his usual black white ones. A picture that lives because of the colors.

Without noticing Nathan comes closer until you notice his presence. “Prescott”, you greet him still focused on your camera. “[L/N]”, he responses in the same tone. Not even a bit surprised you raise your head to see what he wants. The sunlight blinds you for a second so you shield your eyes with your hands to get a better look at him.

It might be the light but he seems more alive for a second. “You did your research. Good but not necessary. I didn’t say a word to anyone about your… toy”, you get back to your work taking more pictures. For a brief moment anger washes over Nathan. Why does his reputation keep haunting him? He is way more than this … at least he was once more than his reputation, but that’s a long time ago.

Insecure Nate wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. His head doesn’t work the way it used to do. Not a single word comes over his lips. “You are still here, Prescott…”, you comment his stand by modus amused. Only one glimpse at his face tells you to keep your sarcasm low.

Nathan, who rules the whole Blackwell Academy and half of Arcadia Bay, stands in front of you like a lost puppy. And that’s pretty close to how he feels.  

“Make yourself comfortable. Take a puff. You know, chilled more fun”, you give him your Mary Jane, while you release a last grey cloud of smoke. Uncertain about his decision Nate sits down an arm length away from you. “I don’t bite, Prescott”, he places his camera between you and him to reduce the distance. It’s just a little move and still he feels a bit closer to you.

Neither of you disturbs the beautiful silence with lame small talk. The sounds of the nature mixed with the clicks of your camera is exactly what he needs right now. Nothing bothers him. Not even a single bad thought tortures him. His reputation stays away. His family stays away. Everything is perfect even if it’s just a beautiful illusion for a few moments.

Like you two have done this before you hold out your hand towards him and Nate gives you back the Mary Jane. Out of the corner of his eyes he watches your movements closely. The cigarette dangles between your lips. The smoke that dances around your face in a perfect way. There is nothing you do differently and still your grey cloud of smoke seems more alive than his whole body.

“So, Marijuana”, Nate states before he could hold himself back. “Yup, keeps my sick mind sane. Sometimes I feel like an overflowing sink, but with drugs I’m just a colorful sunrise”, you explain as you lay aside your camera. It’s an unusual explanation, but Nate understands every word you say. Your Marijuana reminds him of his blue pills he takes sometimes to turn off his mind.

Adrenaline rushes through his veins by now. All the time he wished for someone who understands what he is going through. A person who looks behind his reputation and his bad poker face. Excited Nathan points at your camera, “I saw a few of your pictures. They are not bad.” And as soon as his self-esteem got pushed it’s beaten down again.

You literally can see how Nathan realizes what he said a second ago. There is this pure panic in his eyes again. At least you know what he tried to say, “Well, thank you. Yours are not bad either… Just a bit colorless. Don’t get me wrong. I love black and white pictures, but the world is already grey enough. The most people can’t see the colors around them anymore.”  

Nathan’s relieved next words get stuck in his throat as snow starts to fall. “Oh my god! Is that really happening?”, you hold out your hand to catch one of the snowflakes. It’s still pretty warm so why is it snowing? “Let’s take a selfie together to prove what we just saw!”, you exclaim excited like a child, while you grab your camera.  

You press your shoulder against his to get both of you onto one picture. Nathan isn’t even near to being ready for a selfie. Your energy and spontaneous way overwhelms him a bit … but in a good way. The picture shows you smiling and Nate being confused.  

“Wow, handsome”, you tease him smirking, which makes him blush for a brief moment. “You know; you are not even close to the things people say about you. The most people just don’t you know yet. Hell, you are quite nice … for a Prescott”, you say honestly as you take more pictures of the snowfall.

Nathan’s heart skips a beat just to continue to beat as twice as fast than before. He always was a book with a big unbreakable lock, but you are tearing through his pages and his ink without trouble and fear of what you might find between the lines. You don’t care about the things he has done or the status of his family. A day ago you saw him with an effing gun and still say he’s quite nice. How is that even possible?

Nate opens his mouth to reply also something hopefully nice as someone calls his name. Victoria waves her arm to tell him they have places to be. And the sad reality caught him again in its darkness. A quiet sigh comes over his lips, while he turns his head to face you once more.  

In the meantime, you got your bag and make your way towards the girl dorms. Against your sake you throw a last glance over your shoulder just to find Nathan already looking at you. The lifeless cloud lures him in so you give him your best smile.  

“Stay strong, Prescott.” It won’t be easy to bring him back on track, but he is worth the try…


“You are hanging out with [Y/N]?”, Victoria states the obvious surprised. “Yeah, got a problem with that?”, Nathan replies not as rough as he wished for. “Actually yes”, another voice behind them joins the conversation without their permission.  

David Madson crosses his arms as the two students turn around to face the security guard. “I don’t care about your opinion”, Nate is still high on the colors you spread in your near. Everything inside of him screams for inner peace and silence.  

“Oh, you will, boy. You are not going to lay a single finger on [Y/N]. She is a lovely girl with the power to do great things in her future, while your presence is just like poison. Killing everything nice in a person. You are toxic and not good for her”, David states fuming. You remind him of Chloe and he will do everything it costs to keep you safe from people like Nathan.

Victoria looks at said boy waiting for him to defend himself. There is nothing. It scares Nate how true David’s words are. He only is going to dull your sparkle and wash away your colors. “You are crazy, old man. Let’s go, Nate”, Victoria just drags him with her towards the halls of Blackwell. “I will keep an eye on you, Prescott”, David yells after them.

His words keep playing in Nathan’s head over and over again. They ignite his doubts and those bad thoughts to torture him again. “What’s wrong with you? Are you scared of this wannabe security guard? Your father will sue him and his whole family until there is nothing left of them!”  

Nathan doesn’t even listen to Victoria anymore. He needs to stay away from you, but how will he manage that?


Matching to the grey sky a few raindrops fall to the ground. The whole scenery is just as depressing as the fact that Kate tries to take her life. “No! Kate!”, you exclaim on the brink of tears. Your heart clenches painfully at the sight of your long-term friend.

She stands on the edge of the rooftop of the Prescott Dormitory. Her arms stretched out ready to jump into the emptiness. Fear paralyzes you completely. Not a single fiber of your body moves to safe Kate from her destiny.  

“Do a backflip!”, one of the students yell through the thick tension you can almost grab with your hands. It snaps you out of your helplessness. Tears run down your cheeks as you hit Victoria’s cellphone out of her hand. The anger wells in you like a volcano. “Are you fucking delirious? That’s a brand new…”, she starts to rant about your action.

“Are you even human?! There is a girl wanting to taker her life because of all of you!”, no one can feel the pain in your chest. Neither the fear to lose someone you are really close to. It tears Nathan apart to see you like this.

A crying mess and still perfect in every way fighting for the things you believe in. Victoria keeps arguing about her phone, while your eyes are glued to the rooftop. There is still hope for a miracle. No one got your back. No one keeps you company as you go through hell right now.

Nathan gives himself a mentally push to stand by your side. That’s his fault. All of this chaos came alive through his hands. Kate attempting a suicide. You crying your eyes out. David was right all along. His presence is like poison. His touch is toxic. It kills everything around him. He is no good. Especially for you…

Nathan takes your hand softly in his to let you know you are not alone. Everyone can see what he just did, but he doesn’t care anymore. Even Victoria stops her hate parade. You give his surprisingly warm hand a slight squeeze. It’s more than a lame “I appreciate that”. You don’t want to admit it, but you need him right here, right now.

Little do you know he needs you as much as you need him. You keep the bad thoughts and his doubts away. Nathan really tried to avoid you, but something keeps pulling him towards you over and over again. He’s like a moth drawn to the flame. You two smoked now and then together the last few days. It’s not really hanging out together, but he wished it would be more than that.

You snap Nate out of his thoughts as you let go of his hand. Relieved but still crying you bury your face in his shirt. Max talked Kate out of taking her life. It doesn’t matter it wasn’t you, her best and probably only friend. Kate’s alive … for now.

Nathan wraps you up tightly in his arms. “It’s okay. It’s over”, he isn’t the best at comforting, but at least he tries. And suddenly Nate is the colorful one of you two. The optimist hanging onto life. “Prescott! Into my office”, Principle Wells disturbs your little moment. Nathan’s blue eyes meet your concerned [E/C] ones.  

“You are in trouble, right?”, you can see it clearly in them. His doubts, his panic, his bad conscious. He releases you to follow Well’s order, “I’m never in trouble.” Oh, he is. And now you are pulled apart at the seams. Do you want your old life, which is Kate coming down from the roof, or your new life, which is Nathan who transformed from the villain to your shining knight in armor.

Your heart is torn so badly. Kate said all along he isn’t good for you. But what are you supposed to do?!


Sighing you inhale the smoke like your life depends on it and somehow it does right now. You let fill up your lungs with the grey cloud, while your mind gets knocked out by the drug. You are not allowed to smoke in the dorms, but who cares?  

A light knock catches you off guard. For a second you hope it’s Kate even if a part of you know it can’t be your friend. She is in a hospital hopefully getting better so she can leave soon. As you make your way towards the door you give the still white canvas a kick. Of course your creativity and inspiration leave you on your own when you need them most to distract your sick mind. That’s it. Your own personal chaos.  

“Prescott”, you exclaim surprised. “Hey… uh… I just wanted to check on you”, he gives you a slight smile you have never seen before on him. You can tell it’s honest. Nathan cares about you probably more he wants to admit.  

“Okay, I guess. Thanks for asking”, you step aside so he can come in. Nate accepts your offer and looks around taking in every little detail that tells him more about you. “Are you in trouble?”, you won’t beat around the bushes anymore. You want answers. Now. Nathan shrugs as he steps over the canvas that still lies untouched on the floor. “Tell me the truth”, you grab his hand to get his full attention, “I can see it in your eyes.”

Nathan escapes your grip roughly, “Do not analyze me! … Please.” He starts yelling, but ends up whispering the last word in a plead. An ice cold silence appears for a few moments. You pushed him to the limit what the people around him always do. It shows you how close to the edge he is.

“Is Kate … alright?”, he tries desperately to keep going the conversation. Nathan wants to make sure he didn’t destroy everything between you two. “Uh… I don’t know. She didn’t want to see me, but she is alive. That matters, right?”, you can’t fool him with your faked smile. Nathan already can tell the difference between them. Both of you know Kate rejected you because of him.  

The pure sadness in your eyes kills him inside. That’s more torturing than his doubts screaming at him in his head in this moment.  

You are no good for her. You are poison. You kill everything around you. Your touch is toxic. You will drag her with you into the darkness. You know that…

Nathan wraps you up in his arms as a single tear escapes your eye. You cling onto him for your dear life. To hold you in his arms feels so wrong and right at the same time. These unknown feelings you trigger in his chest are addictive. He doesn’t want to live without them anymore and still…

You lied. You lied all of your life and you dragging an innocent person with you. You will go down with your mask of lies. First suspended, then jail and death will be your last station. You can’t hide this side of yours forever. [Y/N] will find it and leave you because you are truly a monster.

“Nathan?”, you snap him out of his pretty dark thoughts again. The way your [E/C] eyes look into his soul makes him feel vulnerable. It’s almost like you can see into his soul. To your surprise he leans forwards to press a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry”, Nate means every word. “There is no need to apologize”, you reply slightly smiling. Oh, there is. You just don’t know it yet.

Nathan presses his lips into a thin line as you turn around to get your cigarette from the ashtray. It’s for sure he can’t go on like this forever. One day he is going to explode and spill every single secret he keeps. But for now he just wants to enjoy the time you two have left.

“I haven’t eaten in a while. Want to go the Two Wales Diner?”, you suggest wanting to get out of the dormitory for a bit. Your room seems like a prison cell showing every single memory you want to forget right now. “Yes… Uh… Here”, Nate puts his red jacket over your shoulders. You mumble a shy “Thank you” as he takes your hand in his like it always belonged there.

A few of the students stop for a second and stare at you two walking through the hallways holding hands. Nathan isn’t really the person of showing his feelings openly, but with you it’s different. He wants you to be part of his life and he wants everyone to know that. Your presence by his side pushes his self-esteem so extremely. Nate never felt that perfectly fine before without taking his meds.  

“What a beautiful sight! Mrs. [L/N] and Mr. Prescott together”, both of you stop immediately. Of course you recognize the voice of your teacher Mr. Jefferson. Nathan’s whole body stiffens and he gives your hand almost a painfully squeeze.  

“I need to speak with you, Mr. Prescott. Your last work was … not what I expected of you”, Jefferson doesn’t wait for an answer and walks a few steps away. There is an unspoken order Nathan should follow him. “Go to your dorm and stay in there”, he avoids to look into your eyes. You would see sheer panic in them. You don’t question his plead because of his shaking voice. Something is up and he doesn’t want to involve you.

Without looking back over his shoulder Nathan catches up to Mr. Jefferson. His happiness turned into a cold fist of panic clenching his heart together in its iron grip. “So, [Y/N]. I never thought of her to be our next guest in the Dark Room”, Mark takes his glasses of to clean them.  

“No! Please!”, Nate exclaims a bit too loud for Jefferson’s taste. The boy can feel how he traps himself in the net of his teacher. “Oh, you like her. That’s surprising me now”, Mark enjoys the fear in his widened blue eyes. Another mistake on Nathan’s list. “The Vortex Club plans a party. I want to see both of you there. You know the routine”, Jefferson orders without a trace of mercy and usually he gets what he want.  

“Have a good day, Nathan”, Mr. Jefferson leaves pleased with the outcome of this conversation. Nate feels how his mind completely shuts down as he realizes what he has done to you. He made the only person that genuinely cares for him to Mark’s prey. You are in serious danger.

That’s your fault. You are no good for her.

Tears start to pool in his eyes as he runs his fingers through his hair. No matter how he hard he thinks there is only one way to keep you safe. It’s going to rip him apart. It will turn his heart to stone, but it needs to be done.

“I’m sorry”, a single tear runs over his cheek.


It costs all your courage to raise your shaking arm. The light knock on the door keeps repeating in your head. There is an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Panic? Maybe. You haven’t heard from Nathan for hours since he sent you back to your dorm. And by now your heart tries to break through your ribcage to be free for the first time.

After an eternity Nate opens the door finally to reveal the mess he has become. His room is completely dark. All the blinds are closed, while the air is smoky. “[Y/N] …”, there is so much desire in his tired voice, but his once more dead blue eyes say something different. His mind is made up, but his body declines his decision. Now he wages a fight behind his mask.

“Is… everything okay? I was waiting for you and … I’m concerned. No, that’s not true. I’m scared”, you stumble over your own words. Nathan almost takes a step forward to wrap you up in his arms, but only releases a loud sigh.  

“Okay, there is something I need to tell you. I was only playing with you. Hayden and me had a bet running. I couldn’t know you would fall for me and clinging on me like your life depends on it. I have a reputation to keep so could you just stay away from me? It’s like one of your stupid colorful pictures. I was red. You are blue. Together we are purple. And know what? I hate fucking purple”, every word he says rips your heart slowly apart. Piece by piece.  

Against your sake tears escape your eyes. You don’t want to cry in front of him like a lovesick fool, but your body betrays you. “Nathan”, between the rushed breaths you manage to say his name hoping to change his mind. “Don’t make a scene now, [L/N]”, you can’t see how he clenches his hands into fists. Oh, how lovely it would be to punch himself right now.

“Nathan”, you try your luck again not knowing how close you are to tearing through his walls. “Leave. It’s better for you”, with that Nate closes the door. The wood isn’t thick enough so he can hear you crying for a few moments. That’s probably the most heartbreaking sound he has ever heard.  

Nathan rests his forehead against the cold door. Why can’t he do one single thing in his life right? With you he had everything and now he is on his own again. His only partner by his side is his bad conscious. He hurt himself with hurting you so badly.

“Nathan? You forgot your jacket on the ground”, Hayden knocks for a moment, but gives up easily as Nate doesn’t answer. You left it behind like he did it with you. He doesn’t want to get his jacket back, which has your scent on it probably. Suddenly all his walls break and Nathan curls up in a ball on the floor to cry his eyes out.  

Behind the blinds occurs the eclipse telling about the danger that comes towards Arcadia Bay.


“I’m so ready for the End of the World Party tonight. I can’t even decide what I should wear”, Victoria exclaims excited as she texts someone else at the same time. Nathan only nods his head hoping it would be enough answer for her. It’s no secret how heartbroken he is. The last few days he just hid himself in his room.

He is tired of keeping up his mask of lies. The sadness he bears in his heart drags him down. Even farther he ever was before. “Come on, Nate. You are no fun at all”, Vic notices his lack of attention. He wants to reply something as his mind shuts completely down.

There you are chasing down a blue butterfly with your camera in your hands. A slight smile appears on his lips taking in every move you make. He notices that you are not as colorful as usual. A cloud of sadness floats around you. It’s clearly to see you are heartbroken too.

“Can you believe it? [Y/N] almost begged that she can come to the Vortex party without being a member. So pathetic”, Victoria rolls her eyes confidently. Nathan’s smile fades away immediately, “What?! When?!” He grabs Vic’s arm desperate for the information.

“Chill down, Nate. She asked me yesterday, but I said no. Who does [Y/N] think she is?”, she replies escaping his iron grip. “But you are in, right?” The world around him starts to spin. His mind races and is blank at the same time. You are still in danger even if he stays away from you. Jefferson took a liking in you. He will do everything it takes to get what he wants.

“[Y/N] is not allowed on this party, okay? Tell everyone so she really has no chance to come. I don’t want to see her there”, panic rushes through his veins. Finally, Victoria lays her phone aside to look at him, “I know you two had something for a very short time – just to mention, but isn’t that a bit too dramatic? … Oh man, she really broke your heart.”

Nathan gets up from his spot on one of the picnic tables to pace around like a wild animal. “No, I fucked up this time. It’s my fault.” Vic furrows her eyebrows confused. He never admitted one of his mistakes so why now?  

“You are acting really weird, Nathan”, she says, but doesn’t get a reaction from him. “I need to sort a few things out. I’m back for the party”, Nathan runs towards his car without a goodbye. Victoria crosses her arms fuming he cares more about you than for her. She is still his best friend after the two went through together.  

“Hey, [L/N]! Still want to go to the Vortex party?”


“God, I’m so sorry”, Nathan whispers to himself, while running his fingers through his hair nonstop. He tried everything he can think of to keep Jefferson away from you. He begged, offered money from his parents, threaten to go to the police. Nothing worked.  

“Everybody hates me. Everybody … even [Y/N]”, he made a lot of mistakes but pushing you away was the worst of them. Somehow Nate always managed to keep his broken world up, but now it’s crashing into thousand tiny pieces, which are burying him underneath them.  

You are worthless. Are you finally accepting it? Took you long enough, Prescott.  

“Shut up! Shut up! … I know, don’t rub salt in my wounds. My life is hell”, Nathan tries to block out the voices in his head, but they keep screaming at him. This will never end. He is a prisoner of his own mind. The other guests of the Diner don’t even pay attention to the broken boy. Exactly like his whole life was.  

“She is better off without me”, is he trying to convince himself or the voices in his head? Nate closes his eyes wishing himself far away from his problems. “Nathan! You are out of your mind again!”, Victoria snaps him out of his thoughts as she sits down on the other side of the table. “The party is in half an hour. You have to be fit for that!”  

For a second he stares at her with his blue eyes, “For getting high I don’t need to be fit. Could you leave me alone?” He buries his face in his hands. “But the Vortex Club got a special guest! You don’t want to have a tripping mind in front of [Y/N]?”

Nathan lowers his hands in slow motion to look at Victoria, “What did you just say?” Maybe his mind plays a prank on him. Maybe all of this is just a super twisted dream. “You are going to clear things out with [Y/N]. Maybe after one or two drinks”, Vic explains her plan to bring you two back together. It’s not her intention to see Nate or you happy.  

“No! She is not coming! I told you!”, anger washes over him as he slams his fist on the table. Victoria isn’t frightened of him anymore when he does this. “Calm down. She probably is not going to show up anyway. That little brat had a nice conversation with Mr. Jefferson. He is worried about her and then they took a walk together”, Nate can see the jealousy in Vic’s eyes. Little does she know what monster Jefferson is. A monster on its hunt.

Without a further word Nathan runs out of the Diner directly towards his car. He plants himself behind the steering wheel as he searches through his pockets for his phone. Just in case he got your number if something like this happens.

A mixture of panic, adrenaline and energy rushes through his veins. It keeps his hands from shaking too much. “[Y/N] here. I can’t answer right now. Leave a message or try it again later. Thanks!” Mumbling a ton of curse words Nate throws his phone on the passengers seat.  

The car’s engine comes a live with a roar. Not caring about the traffic rules Nathan drives like a maniac back to the Blackwell Academy. A lot of students make their way towards the swimming hall where the party is located. He snaps his phone in case you call back before he gets out of his car to look for you. “Nate! The party started already!”, Taylor informs him smiling.  

What if Jefferson got her already?!

Nathan pushes himself to run as fast as possible to the hall. His heart stops for a second. How is he supposed to find you in the chaos of the party?! It’s too full of people and too dark to recognize a single familiar face in a rushed manner.

Nate boxes his way through the crowd as someone puts his hand on his shoulder. “Nathan! Good you are here!”, Hayden yells over the loud music. “Have you seen [Y/N]?!”, his panic grows every second he doesn’t know if you are safe. The already high boy shakes his head.  

On the limit he runs his fingers through his hair. Maybe someone else saw you. But the most people are way too wasted to recognize even their own parents. Suddenly a light beam shows Jefferson in the crowd of celebrating teenagers.  

Nathan knows he’s after him since he declined to drug you for the Dark Room. But as long he is on the party you are still out of his reach. Now it’s a game on time. Who finds you first?

Nate turns back to run to the Prescott Dormitory. You might be there safe in your room, where Jefferson never can’t get you. He’s angry at himself for putting you in such great danger. Breathless he sprints over the campus. Nathan pushes open the doors to the dormitory just to see Max, Chloe and Warren coming directly towards him.

There is not time to deal with them. With his head down Nate tries to get past them. Since he beat Warren up on the parking lot, the boy craves his revenge. “Care to explain, Nathan?”, Max holds out something. “I got no time for that yet”, he replies already caring on with his plan, “Wait! Where you in my room?!”

Before Nathan can take a step closer, Warren headbutts him roughly. Nate tries to grab his gun to scare them way. Unfortunately, Warren is faster than him and kicks the gun out of his hand. “You like hurting people, huh? Like Max! Like Kate! Like me! Like [Y/N]!”, Warren kicks and beats Nathan nonstop.  

“Stop! Please!”, he doesn’t beg for him. Nate thinks he deserves the pain for all the mistakes he has done, but your time is running out. Your life on the edge of danger and it lies in his hands to safe you from Jefferson.  

“No!”, the voice sounds familiar, but through the curtain of pain he can’t connect it to a face. The beating stops finally. A hand strokes his bruised cheek softly as he opens his eyes slowly. “Nathan”, you wipe the blood from his nose away with the sleeve of your shirt, “Oh my god! Are you alright?”

A single tear drops from your eye on his cheek, while he takes your hand in his. “Yes, now is everything alright”, relief washes over him that you are safe … for a while at least. “Come on, we are going to take care of your face. That must hurt”, with your help Nathan gets up from the ground. The pain hits him hard, but it’s not priority yet.  

Nate leans against the wall to take in how much you still care for him even after what he did to you. “We have no time for this. There is so much I have to tell you, but first of all… I love you, [Y/N]. I truly love you and I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I will explain you everything  when we get away from here. It’s not safe. I know you probably hate me, but do you trust me?”, his thumb strokes your knuckles softly.  

Without hesitating you wrap him up in your arms, “I never could hate you, Nathan. I love and trust you, but you have to tell me what’s going on.” Before he can say a word, the doors of the Prescott Dormitory gets pushed open once again.  

“We had a plan, Prescott”, Jefferson shakes his head disappointed. Nate takes your hand in his to drag you along the hallway. “Nathan! You know, you can’t run. I will find you!”, Mark yells after you two preparing his syringe. He will hunt both of you down if it’s necessary.

“Keep running no matter what happens!”, of course you are confused, but you trust him without a doubt. You remember the way you two run. It’s the way directly to the back door of Blackwell. He pushes you firstly out of the door, while he throws a glance over his shoulder. No trace of Jefferson yet, but he won’t give up easily.  

Now you drag Nathan with you towards the parking lot, where both of your cars wait. “There is no way out of this!”, Mark appears out of nowhere and is already too close for your taste. You close the door of your old truck right in time. Jefferson hits his fist against the glass of your window as you start the engine with shaking hands.  

And with that you two are out of his reach. Your heart keeps beating hard against your ribcage. You don’t know where you are driving as long as it far away from Mark Jefferson. Breathlessly Nathan puts his hand on yours. In what fucking chaos you just rushed into?

“We can’t go back, right? So where are we going?”, you break the uncomfortable silence, but your eyes are glued to the street. “A motel for now, I guess. Then we will think about our next steps. I … I have to warn Max. She was onto me and Jefferson. She is probably in danger”, Nate takes out his phone.

“Max, it’s Nathan. I just want to say I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt Kate or Rachel or … I didn’t want to hurt anybody … Everybody used me! Mr. Jefferson was coming for me. I hope all of this shit is over soon…. Watch out, Max. He wants to hurt you next so hurry… Sorry, I’m so sorry”, Nathan tears up between his confession and still you feel the same for him.

You give his hand a slight squeeze to show him he hasn’t to go through this on his own. The rest of the drive you two sit in silence trying to process this hell of a day. You don’t stop at the first motel in the case Jefferson is still hunting the two of you.  

The rain cools down your racing mind as you get out of your old truck. “Do we have even money to pay for a room?”, Nathan grabs your hand softly. It’s like he needs to make sure you are not going to leave him. “I’ve got a credit card. Don’t worry”, he gets out his wallet, while you two make your way towards the motel.  

“Oh, what brings two young people like you out here?”, the old granny behind the check in wants to know. She doesn’t wear glasses so you guess she can’t see Nate’s beaten up face clearly.  

Nathan puts his credit card on the table, “One room… please.” She furrows her eyebrows due to her unanswered question. “We are on a road trip”, you lie to hide the fact you two are on the run and go from your past.

“Oh, in Arcadia Bay is a terrible storm right now. Good, you are here now”, the granny searches for the key for your room. Nathan and you exchange a quick glance. “Have a good night, sweeties!” You follow Nate closely to fall into his arms after you closed the door behind you. Suddenly your mind realizes what the last few hours happened and what consequences are waiting.

“Okay, I want the truth. I don’t care how terrible it is. I want to hear every detail, Nathan”, you mumble into his shirt close to cry your eyes out. He sits down on the big bed and pats the place next to him. “It’s a long story…”

He tells you the whole story of how this chaos started. He spills all of his secrets. All of his mistakes. All of the trouble he caused. He lines up every flaw of his. He can be honest for the first time in forever.

“I fucked everything up what I can fuck up. I’m a monster. I’m sorry, [Y/N]”, for a monster he apologizes a lot. You run your fingers through his hair, while his tears wet your jeans. Nathan is curled up as a ball on your lap tearing up now and then during his story.  

“Nathan, you are ripped at the edges like a lot of people, but you are still a masterpiece. For me you are perfect and not even close to a monster”, you comfort him. Nate sits up to face you properly with his red and puffy eyes, “But you can’t forgive me, right? I can understand. I also hate myself like the rest of the world does.”

You take his face in your hands softly so you wouldn’t hurt him, “I forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself. Yes, I hate what you have done, but I could never hate you. You would have needed more support.” With your thumb you wipe a single tear from his cheek.

Nathan closes the gap between you two to press his lips on yours. A whole firework of emotions gets triggered in your chest as you start to kiss him back. He leans his forehead against yours after you two break apart. “Why didn’t I find you earlier? Everything could have been different…”

Without a word you pull him with you to lie down on the bed. It was a hell of a day and both of you deserve some sleep. Nate buries his face in the crook of your neck, while his arm is draped over your waist to keep you as close as possible. The fear of losing you will never leave him alone. The white ceiling stares back at you as you draw circles on Nathan’s arm. It takes a long time for him to relax and then to fall asleep finally. It’s over for now. You allow yourself to close your eyes.


Sad Ending

You open your eyes as you release a grey cloud of smoke. Absently you wipe away the ash, which is falling on your knee from the cigarette that dangles dangerously between your lips.  

A loud noise bring you back into the reality. It sounded just like a gun shot, but you are not quite sure. Could also be firecrackers in the bathroom once again. Nathan Prescott is famous for this old and really annoying prank.  

Beautiful silence wraps you up in its calmness, while your thoughts dance around in your head. The Marijuana keeps the bad ones low. Time seems to stop for a while as the sun starts to hide itself behind the trees.  

Suddenly your buzzing phone snaps you out of your daydream. A bit pissed that you got disturbed once again you answer the phone without looking who calls you. “[Y/N], reporting for duty”, is the first thing that comes to your bedazzled mind from the Marijuana. “[Y/N]! Didn’t you hear the sirens?! Come to the front door!”, Kate exclaims without a greeting.

Sighing you make your way to the said spot in front of the Blackwell Academy. The burning end of your cigarette lights once more as you take a deep inhale of smoke. A crowd formed in front of the doors, which surprised you a bit. What did you miss?

“Nathan shot someone in the girls bathroom”, you hear the teenagers whisper around you as you push your way towards Kate. “I knew something like that would happen one day.” - “He’s a bad one.” - “Now his father can’t help him anymore.” - “Poor little rich kid getting what he deserves.”

The mumbling dies down immediately when the doors get pushed open. Two police officer form a path in the crowd for the third officer who escorts a handcuffed Nathan Prescott. On the top of the stairs stands Principle Wells observing the scene with a sad expression on his face.  

Kate takes your hand in hers as she hides her face in your shoulder. She seems relieved that he got arrested. The bullying is going to stop now probably. Softly you rub circles on her back to comfort her and let her know she isn’t alone.  

Nathan’s head hangs low and his shoulders slump forward. It’s like the weight of the entire earth is lying on them. He probably needs also some comfort like Kate, but no one is going to do that. Nate is on his own once again.

He raises his head only for a few seconds. Your [E/C] eyes meet his clear blue but dead ones. There is no trace that these orbs are actually alive. No color. No feelings. Apparently Nate accepted his fate already. He surrendered to the demons around him. Everything inside of him died.

Your orbs are alive and full of color. But that’s not what hypnotizes Nathan. He can see sympathy in them. No disgust, no arrogance, no amusement. Honest and true sympathy for him. Nate could get lost in them, but he will never get a chance.  

In a crowd of people who hate him, he finds you. Way too late.

The officer pushes his forward so he walks a bit faster to the police car. All the people who pointed their fingers at Kate for this terrible video of her, are now doing the same thing with him. You don’t know a lot of his backstory, but he doesn’t deserve this. Being pushed by others destroys a person piece by piece. It’s a terrible slow death.

You feel bad for him even after all the thing he has done. Nathan will never know colors.

He will die with those dead blue eyes…


“Happy” Ending

A few soft kisses wake you up from your almost comatose and dreamless sleep. “I know you are awake”, Nathan comments your attempts to get five more minutes of sleep amused. In surrender you open your eyes to see him looking down at you, while a slight smirk rests on his lips. His alive and colorful blue eyes are beautiful compared to his dead ones when you two met.  

You two have nothing left except for the clothes you are wearing and his father’s credit card, whish isn’t unlimited. There is no place you have to be. No plan to follow. Nathan is completely free for the first time in his life. To be with a person who loves him unconditionally is all what he needed to feel alive again.  

“You… You are beautiful”, Nate presses a kiss onto your forehead matching to his lovely words. You notice how close you two are. He held you tight through the entire night. Maybe he was afraid to wake up without you by his side like this is just a beautiful but limited dream.

“Sweeties! I made breakfast”, the old granny informs you through the still closed door. Nate gets up from the bed you two share mumbling something about taming his hair. You roll over to lie on his warm side. Your whole life got turned over, but you couldn’t be happier right now.  

“Wow, handsome”, you compliment his wet brown hair that clings onto his forehead. How did both of you get so lucky? Nathan leans down to capture your lips into a kiss full of desire. “You are dripping”, you push him softly away from you, “I don’t need a shower yet.”

Smiling he grabs your hand in his hand to pull you out of the bed. You get his hint and follow his wish. “I’m starving. I hope the old granny can cook”, Nate pulls you as close as possible towards him. “Let’s find out”, you literally can feel his excitement of his new life. What will bring you the new day?

“Sweeties! I’m so happy you two are here. The storm in Arcadia Bay was terrible. It destroyed half of the town and even killed a few people”, the granny greets you as she puts two plates with scrambled eggs down on an empty table.

“Thanks”, you mumble suddenly not so happy anymore. People died. Maybe friends of you and you weren’t there. Your hometown destroyed. You should call your parents, but what are you going to say to them? You run away with a murderer and don’t plan to come back?!  

“We need to think of a plan”, you place your hand on Nathan’s to get his full attention. “Do we? Can’t we just drive until we have enough?”, he replies stuffing the eggs into his mouth. For a second you think about his suggestion. “I were never outside of Arcadia Bay”, you just never had time or money to travel.

“Then let this be our plan … if you want”, Nathan loves his new freedom, but he loves you more so he would give it up for you. If it’s your wish to go back, Nate will follow you without a doubt. And you know that, but it’s actually not what your heart desires.

“Okay, we are going on an adventure”, you agree enjoying his rare smile. “Slept well, sweeties?”, granny joins the conversation with two cups of coffer right in time. “Have never slept better in my life”, you admit. Nate raises just a thumbs up, because he’s busy eating.

That’s your new life. He is your new life. The clearly broken Nathan Joshua Prescott with the former dead blue eyes.  

“I truly love you, [Y/N].”  

2

May 10th 1872: Victoria Woodhull nominated for President

On this day in 1872, Victoria Woodhull became the first woman to be nominated for the Presidency of the United States. Born to a poor family in Ohio in 1838, she married at age 15, but later divorced her loutish husband and married a colonel. After moving to New York, Victoria and her sister Tennessee - with whom she had worked as a clairvoyant - established the first woman-run stock brokerage company and created a radical weekly publication. In the magazine, the sisters articulated their vision for social reform embracing female suffrage, birth control rights, and ‘free love’. Their journal also advocated workers’ rights, calling for the 8 hour work day and graduated income tax, and publishing the first English translation of Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto. Victoria became such a prominent figure that she was invited to testify before Congress on female suffrage. In 1872, despite women being barred from voting, Woodhull was nominated as the presidential candidate of the Equal Rights Party; she selected famed black abolitionist Frederick Douglass as her running mate. Woodhull’s radical rhetoric alarmed moderate elements of the feminist and reform movements, limiting her electoral appeal. The 1872 campaign - between incumbent Republican Ulysses S. Grant and Democrat Horace Greeley -  quickly became acrimonious, and Woodhull’s opponents accused her of adultery. On election day, after retaliating against her critics and publishing accusations of adultery against them, she was in prison for distributing ‘obscene’ literature. Woodhull also did not appear on the ballot, as she was one year under the Constitutionally required age of 35, and won a minute percentage of the vote. Hounded by law enforcement and critics, Woodhull moved to England in 1877, where she continued her activism until her death in 1927. With a major American party poised to nominate a woman for president, it is fitting to remember Victoria Woodhull’s historic campaign.

“I come before you to declare that my sex are entitled to the inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

“Happy Wandering” (2017)
Hardenbergia violacea in Lerderderg State Park, Victoria, Australia.

I could only describe this plant as the royal pea of the bush. That purple is always a vibrant jolt of happiness and magic when wandering through the smokey colours of the xeric sclerophyllous bush that is central Victoria.

Steve’s little Sister - Part 6

You are Steve Roger’s little sister. You grew up with him and Bucky in Brooklyn but after both their deaths in the war you were left alone. Skip forward seventy years and with the help of SHIELD you survived and are now reunited with your brother and best friend. The Avengers, however, don’t know you exist until one day Steve introduces you and things in the tower become very interesting. (eventual BuckyxReader) (post CACW)

BuckyxReader

Word Count: 2616

WARNINGS: Ok, listen up people. This is seriously a dark part, it contains PANIC ATTACKS, RECONCILING WITH THE PAST, A SERIOUS BREAK DOWN, MENTIONS OF DEATH, MENTIONS OF TORTURE AND IMPLIED SUICIDE. Please know your triggers (there is fluff at the end to make up for it though)

Title: Steve’s little Sister (part 6)

Note: Ok so I was in a dark place when I wrote this but it works with the plot so I kept it. I’m currently queuing this amidts a whole heap of mess ‘cos I’m still getting ready for my trip so sorry if there’s any spelling errors. Love you all and thanks for your support!

Steve’s little Sister Masterlist

Part 5 | Part 7


The moment you were down Sam alerted FRIDAY but wisely asked that none on the mission were to know. Everyone was by your side in a flash and you felt claustrophobic. People were everywhere, shouting, talking over each other making the attack even worse.

“SHUT IT!” yelled Tony, clearly pissed off with everyone. “All of you out. You’re not helping here. In fact you’re probably making it worse. Sam, thank you for letting us all know but now everyone out. I will deal with this.” Everyone stood around in shocked silence, none of them moving. “Out!” Ordered Tony once more and this time people responded. Once the room was clear Tony worked with you on your breathing and managed to calm you down. Tony had been distant with you ever since the party and you understood that, your comments to him must have been a shock, but you were grateful that he was here helping you now.

Once you’d slowed your breathing he moved you to the couch and talked. He made polite conversation about the day and the weather and eventually you calmed down enough to answer his questions.

It took a while to realise that Tony wasn’t being polite, he was actually curious. He explained that Steve was very quiet about his past and never opened up to anyone. When asked he just avoided the subject. You made the comment on how that was typical stubborn Steve and Tony burst out laughing. You both smiled at eachother then and realised how much in common you had.

Tony talked about his work, his suits and eventually his life. You spoke about your time in Brooklyn, Steve caring for you, him and Bucky raising you when your parents passed, patching up Steve and Bucky when they got home from a fight. Conversation flowed freely between the two of you and Tony stayed far longer than he had to. Soon the conversation moved on to your time with Howard and SHIELD. How he and Peggy found you. The things you did. How you were injured in the field and how Howard sacrificed his supply of Steve’s blood to save you. Tony talked about the side of Howard you never saw. The father and husband that he became.

Tony smiled but it was a sad smile and you could see he missed his father. It was after this that you both fell into silence and Tony got up. His demeanor had changed and you could tell he was far more relaxed, as though a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Thank you,” you murmured just as Tony was about to leave the room. He turned around and looked at you with a kindness in his eyes.

“No problem kid.” he replied before shaking his head and laughing. You tilted your head in confusion but Tony just smiled.

“You know why Steve brought you here right?” he questioned and you nodded.

“Yeah,” you replied sheepishly, “he never told me outright but I reckon it’s to heal the rift that’s divided the team after Leipsig.”

“That’s what I reckon too.” Tony shook his head again and lowered his voice, “between you and me kid, I think it’s working. Don’t tell Steve though, he’ll never let me hear the end of it” and with a wink he turned and left. A smile broke out on your face and despite his plan behind it, you were glad that Steve had brought you here. Brought you to your new family.


The mission took 4 days to complete and in that time you settled into your routine at the tower. You made sure you were busy so you wouldn’t worry about your boys. Between training with the team, baking, hanging with Nat and writing time flew by. Occasionally you would freak out but someone was always there to help you. You even found time to hang with Tony in his lab, he got very enthusiastic when you actually asked him questions about his work.

You were on the couch with Nat and Sam when the quinjet landed. You jumped up off the couch your face painted with worry. Only when you saw Steve and Bucky dismount the jet did your shoulders sag with relief. Nat gave your shoulder a quick squeeze and a kind look before you headed out the doors, holding yourself back from running into your brother’s arms.

“Steve!’ You yelled out whilst waving and upon seeing you, your brother’s face broke out into a grin.

“victoria!” he called back and broke out into a jog towards you. Seeing his reaction your grin widened and you broke out into a sprint, crashing into your brother’s embrace. He chuckled into your shoulder and ruffled your hair. “Hey kiddo,” he soothed and you felt his stiff shoulders relax as you held him, “missed me did you?”

You stepped back and gave his shoulder a shove. “Of course I did you fool,” you replied trying to wipe your teary eyes without him spotting. Steve released a soft chuckle and wiped your other eye with his thumb.

“You okay?” he asked quietly, his voice filled with concern. You nodded and Steve’s attention was pulled away by Clint. “I gotta go debrief,” Steve told you and with a kiss on your forehead he moved off to talk to Clint. Silently Bucky sidled up beside you and gave you a small smile. You returned it and he ruffled your hair before he too followed Steve inside.

You wandered back to your spot on the couch beside Nat and released a shaky breath.

“Are you going to ask him?” Nat questioned without taking her eyes off the screen.

You’d been talking with Nat about this for ages. You wanted to go on missions. You couldn’t deal with Steve and Bucky being gone, the stress and panic was too much for you. You thought, and Nat, Bruce and Tony agreed, that it would be better if you accompanied them. You were ready, you knew how to fight and the team could use another pair of hands, all you had to do was convince Steve.

“I’ll ask after the debrief, hopefully he’ll be in a good mood.” you replied beginning the anxious wait for it all to be over.

When Clint collapsed on the couch beside you you knew the meeting was done. Taking a deep breath you stood up and with a reassuring nod from Nat (not that she looked up from the TV) you went out to find Steve. He was emerging from the meeting room when you spotted him with a file in his hands. He looked up and went to speak but you knew you had to get in first or you’d never be able to ask.

“I want to go on missions.” You blurted out stopping a few feet away from him.

Steve’s face fell and his entire body tensed up. The file he was holding fell from his hand but he didn’t seem to notice.

“No.” he bluntly replied before turning around and moving down the corridor.

“Steve. Wait.” you cried as you grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face you. “Please. I didn’t exactly cope very well when you left.” you admitted sheepishly, “Everyone agrees it would be fine if I came. Easier even.” you desperately tried to explain.

Steve’s eyes darkened when you said everyone and he pulled his arm from your grip.

“No victoria,” he stated again not looking at you. You made to persist but Steve beat you to it. “NO!” he shouted scaring you. He softened at your look of panic and repeated, “no, please just no.” he practically begged and you almost felt bad. He placed his hands on either side of your shoulders and ducked his head in a grimace. “I can’t lose you victoria, I just can’t,” he implored, begging you to see his reasons.

You reached out to place a hand on Steve’s forearm. Your eyes were filling with tears and you struggled to speak clearly.

“Steve don’t you get it? I can’t lose you either. That’s why I want to come.” you tried to calmly explain but your brother wasn’t hearing you.

“No. that’s final.” Steve ordered firmly pulling away and turning around. That was the last straw for you.

“YOU UTTER HYPOCRITE!” you shouted and Steve turned around. “I don’t want to lose you either, did you ever think of that?” you raged. By this point Steve was facing you with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Did you ever think of me all those years ago? Did you ever think of how I felt when you came home half dead from some fight or another?” When you saw the guilt in Steve’s eyes you knew he hadn’t and this spurred your emotions on further.

“When Bucky was conscripted my world collapsed.” you continued your voice now at a normal level, occasionally cracking with the pain you felt, “I couldn’t think straight for days but then I pulled myself together because I still had you and you were getting into even more fights. Then you enlisted and I fell apart again. But I couldn’t show you how I felt because you came home so happy, so excited that you were going off to war. Off to your own death. Waving goodbye to you that day on the bus was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. You were my little big brother Steve and I was losing you.

“But I managed because you were so happy and I just…” you released a long sigh and the tears started streaming freely down your face. You were pleading with Steve now, begging him to understand how you felt. How you still feel. The dam wall you had put up had broken and now everything was coming out.

“Bucky promised me he’d write and he he did. Each week, every Wednesday I’d receive a letter. Buck would tell me about the front. About the men he was serving with. It helped me cope. I picked myself up and kept going. I even went out to see a stage show with Dot and and the girls.”

Your voice sharpened as you pinned Steve with your gaze, “as it turned out the star spangled man was my brother. Not that you’d told me. You weren’t even planning to see me were you? If I hadn’t approached you after the Brooklyn show you never would have told me. My little big brother was now my big big brother. That was one hell of a shock, knowing you allowed yourself to be experimented on.”

Steve shrunk at your words but you continued, unable to stop.

“Then the tour took you to the front and that was ok. You weren’t fighting. I could cope. I tried to cope but one Wednesday I didn’t receive a letter. And then he missed the next week too, and the week after. It was such a relief to receive a letter only to read that he’d been captured. He told me what happened. How he was experimented on. Tortured. Then your letter came and you wrote me with such excitement that you were fighting. It nearly killed me. The only comfort I had was that you were now my big big brother and you were with Bucky.”

“victoria.” Steve pleaded softly but the floodgates had already opened.

“That was hard Steve. Really hard. But I received your letters and I got by, each day hoping the war would end. Wednesday’s became my favourite days. That’s when I’d get your letters. Then Bucky’s letters stopped again and yours became so short and vague.”

You paused and your voice became no more than a whisper.

“I heard about his death through Rebecca. It made sense, I was of no relation to him I just lived there. She said I’d probably want some of his stuff so she gave it to me. A box full of his belongings. I wore one of his shirts for days. I never saw Becca after that.”

Tears were flowing freely down your face and your tone was pained. You’d bottled these emotions up for so long and now it was all coming about. Steve stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to hi. You grabbed onto his shirt and clutched it tight.

“I only coped because I still had you. But then your letters stopped. A few weeks later I open my door to find a man standing there holding your last letter and folded up flag. You were dead. I’d lost everything. You were gone Steve. So was Buck. I was alone and in a bad place. I wanted to see you again. To be with you again. I was so close Steve. If Peggy and Howard hadn’t found me, I wouldn’t have made it.”

You paused again allowing a large sob to emerge from your throat and you felt Steve’s arms tightened around you. He’d never thought of how you felt, how you coped. He never realised how bad it had been for you.

“I can’t lose you again. Please.” you whispered into Steve’s now soaked shirt.

Steve was crying too and yet all he could say was, “No, please” You could hear the pain in his voice. It hurt him to see you this way but he was stubborn. He was your older brother and he saw it as his job to protect you. When his mind was made up he wouldn’t give in. You pushed away from him and started at him in shock before he fled down the corridor as fast as your feet would carry you. You didn’t hear him calling after you nor processed Nat’s concerned questioning. You ran to the one place you knew you’d be safe. Once you’d reached your destination you pounded on the door until it opened.

Bucky opened his door with only a towel around his waist, his hair still dripping wet from the shower he’d clearly just gotten out of. One look at your face and he knew something was wrong. He stepped back and let you inside checking the corridor for any clues before he closed the door behind him and focussed all his attention on you.

“Doll?” he questioned softly his face full of concern, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

With a huge sob you threw yourself at Bucky and he caught you with ease. Scooping you up in his arms Bucky took you to his bed and sat down on the edge placing you gently in his lap warping his arms around you waist, holding you in place. You cried into his shoulder and when he asked again what was wrong your only reply was,

“I can’t lose you Bucky. Please.”

Your words were knives in Bucky’s heart. He didn’t know who did this to you but when he found out they were going to pay. But not yet. You were Bucky’s priority and so it was with you he stayed. He held you and comforted you until you fell asleep in his arms completely drained from the emotional rollercoaster you’d just ridden.

As your breaths evened out Bucky smiled and placed a small kiss to your hair. Lifting you up gently he lay you gently under the sheets and after he’d put on some sweats he crawled in beside you.

You were his, Bucky realised. You’d held his heart for a long time he just refused to see it. He was going to do everything he could to deserve you. Even if you didn’t want him And with that thought he fell asleep beside you.


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(the crossed out tags didn’t work, I will continue to try and tag you in the future parts but I can make no  promises that it will work)

TAGS ARE OPEN

Get To Know Me Meme: Royalist Edition [5] Royal Facts: Queen Victoria & The Kensington System 

Queen Victoria was born to the Duke and Duchess of Kent, the only legitimate grandchild of King George III. After her fathers death, the deaths of others in succession to the throne, and the lack of legitimate children, Victoria became the heir. Her mother, Princess Victoria of Saxe-Coburg-Saalfeld, along with her husbands former equerry Sir John Conroy, were extremely ambitious and came to the conclusion that they could rule through Victoria via a Regency. To achieve this, they developed The Kensington System, which aimed to keep Victoria dependent on her mother, ill-educated of her future role, weak, and unable to accede to the British Throne alone, thus needing the help of her mother, and SirJohn Conory. 

The Kensington System enforced these strict rules: 

  1. The then Princess Victoria was not allowed any privacy, apart from when washing, changing, or relieving herself. She had tobe accompanied everywhere by her mother, her tutor, or her governess
  2. She was never allowed to walk up or down the stairs alone. She needed to be holding onto her mother, or governess’s arm. 
  3. She was not allowed to sleep in her own room, thus meaning she had to share a room with her mother. 
  4. She could only meet suitors her mother thought suitable, therefore most were from her mothers own house of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, which thus led to Victoria meeting her future husband, Prince Albert. No others were allowed to spend time with her. 
  5. Everything she did throughout the day was recorded in pen and ink.

They also insisted that Victoria sign a paper authorising a Regency of her mothers control. Even on the occasion when Victoria was ill, and confined to her bed, they continued to insist. However Victoria refused to sign the authorisation, and rebelled against the majority of the system.

On the day Victoria turned 18, her mothers plans of Regency fell apart and a month later, when King William IV died, Victoria became Queen.

Upon becoming Queen, she demanded to have her bed removed from her mothers room, and have an hour alone each day. It is also claimed that Victoria took joy in running up and down the stairs without anyone holding her hand. She subsequently banned Sir John Conroy from having any contact with her at all and banished him from her court. Lastly, Victoria stated that she would see who she liked, and would marry whomever she wanted.  Her relationship with her mother was never fully repaired, for her mother only ever saw Victoria for her crown. 

Night Vision of Melbourne, Australia

Melbourne seen from the International Space Station at night reveals its young history. Unlike the winding streets in older European cities, Melbourne’s streetlights follow a more planned grid system. Established in 1835 around the natural bay of Port Phillip Melbourne is the capital of the state of Victoria in Australia.