(bc i’m slightly tipsy and there’s already ppl shooting fireworks outside) (under a read more bc i have no control and must be stopped)
wears bright red lipstick and blue eyeshadow bc she’s feelin p a t r i o ti c
is in charge of the food
her apron says “quit bitchin’ in my kitchen”
actually the kitchen is strictly off-limits while she’s cooking get the fuck outta here
seriously one time she threw a knife at ryan’s head when he tried to grab a potato chip
goes all out for the fourth of july y’all. we’re talking buttery corn on the cob, fresh guac, fried green tomatoes, salted watermelon, mac n cheese, apple pie mmmmMMMMM
follows an old patillo family recipe to make the best goddamn potato salad this side of the mississippi river holy shit like,,, it’s so fucking good god bless the patillos
uses a secret ingredient in her potato salad that she’ll take to her grave don’t even bother asking buddy she’ll laugh in your face
(jeremy thinks it’s white wine)
(gavin thinks its cocaine)
wears leather sandals and american flag-printed board shorts why geoffrey why
is in charge of drinks
imports single malt whisky straight from scotland
then steals 2 dozen crates of bud light from the 24/7 supermarket down the street
geoff there’s literally only 15 people at this party do you really need 10 bottles of tequila
likes making mixed drinks for people who didn’t order them
his “signature drink” is called The Firecracker™
everyone’s pretty sure it’s just fireball and actual gasoline
always ends up ranting about how fucked up the american founding fathers were
“guys thomas jefferson was such a dick i fucking hate that dude”
“we know geoff”
shifts into Ultimate Dad Mode™ on the fourth of july bless his heart
unironically wears USA t-shirts from old navy and a backwards baseball cap
it makes him look * c o o l *
is in charge of the grill
looks way too comfortable using a meat cleaver and a butcher knife
ryan that’s just *beef* in those burgers right?
has an AK-47 strapped to his back just in case they come
“just in case who comes?”
likes to sing 80’s rock music while grilling
there’s a video of him belting jessie’s girl into his spatula
ryan is not aware of this video
it’s saved on jack’s laptop (encrypted and password protected)
is in charge of the music
turns into the biggest Dudebro™ on the fourth
yells ‘merica before doing anything
uses red white n blue spray-on hair color and completely fucks up the bathroom sink with it
his playlist is called “'freedom muthafukaaaas”
songs include: bruce springsteen’s “born to run”, warrant’s “cherry pie”, ELO’s “mr. blue sky” and abba’s “dancing queen”
insists on being called DJ rimmy tim for the whole day
keeps trying to get people to play pool volleyball with him
drinks anything geoff puts in front of him
he and jack end up trying to parachute from the cargobob into the pool
is in charge of the fireworks
doesn’t buy fireworks tho are you kidding me fuck that this isn’t amateur hour sON
spends all of april/may developing homemade fireworks with trevor and matt
has almost lost multiple fingers while testing their creations
also nearly blinded himself while trying to modify a bottle rocket
tbh this is the most dangerous thing he does all year and he’s a Professional Criminal for a living
created a firework that explodes in bright red brocades and makes the air smell like roses
he calls it “the lindsay”
every year there’s an illegal massive fireworks show on mt. haan that gets set up anonymously and is electronically detonated
everyone knows its the fakes but literally every person in town comes out to watch it and it’s basically a los santos tradition so the LSPD are like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
they get a tupperware of potato salad for their troubles
(it’s the best goddamn potato salad they’ve ever had)
likes to remind everyone that’s he’s british and that he’s offended by their patriotism
“congrats on your bad healthcare and shite chocolate”
paints a lil british flag on his cheek bc fuck u guys
but then #brexit rip
has the most insane shit delivered to the penthouse for Funsies™
last year it was a massive bouncy castle that blocked off the whole street
the year before he brought five thousand water ballons filled with ice, blood, flour, and some weird goo he somehow smuggled in from china
jeremy almost had to go to the hospital
geoff was not a fan
literally no one has a clue what gavin has planned for this year and they’re not sure if they should be terrified or excited
(it’s actually a lads vs gents nerf battle with tranquilizer-loaded darts)
(geoff will not be a fan)
just bc it’s a national holiday doesn’t mean they’re not heisting
jack wears his gaudiest hawaiian print
ryan switches his black face paint for blue (sometimes he’ll even add stars)
the lads load up on homemade grenades and bombs that sparkle and whizz as they detonate
they hit every major bank and big business within the city limits as the los santos sky explodes with color
on july 5th, planned parenthood, greenpeace, the national immigration law center, the trevor project, the ACLU and countless other NGOs get their annual summer donation - always impressive, always anonymous
bc the fakes know that they’re country is no longer truly the land of the free
and they may be criminals but goddamnit they’ll do their best to fix it
bc who better than america’s most wanted can give america what it needs the most?
I got this pic in my head and was working on it on and off the last couple of days, I like how it turned out as much as I can like anything that I do witch is to say not much. next up is pink zombie boy and then a Dear Evan Hanson pic I’ve also been a’brewin!
Ok, so I’ve been thinking a lot about Alien Covenant since I saw it 24 hours ago and I think I finally know what’s really going on here.
So, back when Prometheus came out five years ago, we wondered what was going to happen next. Were we getting a new spinoff franchise based on the Engineers/Space Jockeys? Or were we getting more actual Alien movies starring the good ol’ “xenomorphs”?
It really looked like it was going to be the later, I mean the movie flat out had “Alien” in the title and the publicity campaign made no secret that the classic aliens were in it…
But we were wrong.
This really IS a new spinoff franchise, but not in the way anyone expected. The Engineers are not actually the focus of these movies starting from Prometheus onwards…
It’s David. This is David’s franchise now. He was arguably the most beloved part of Prometheus, now he’s the main character, the villain, and the monster. An unstable super android in his journey to wipe out humanity and replace it with his own creations.
In fact, he’s the modern equivalent of Victor Frankenstein from the 60′s Hammer Frankenstein films(the one played by Peter Cushing).
Like those movies, these are about the escapades of a wicked creator of monsters, now IN SPACE. And while the aliens may be present in these movies, so was the Frankenstein’s monster and derivatives in the Hammer movies.
Alien: Covenant is actually a David movie, Prometheus is retroactively a David movie, and now we wait for the sequels.
This may actually be the new direction the series needed. A very different kind of central character to Ellen Ripley. We’ll see. For now, well played, Fox; you may not have Star Wars anymore, but at least you have space robot Victor Frankenstein played by Michael Fassbender.
Morning in Paris, the city awakes To the bells of Notre Dame The fisherman fishes, the bakerman bakes To the bells of Notre Dame To the big bells as loud as the thunder To the little bells soft as a psalm And some say the soul of the city’s The toll of the bells The bells of Notre Dame
“I think it’s more important, it’s imperative that anybody who has a platform, anybody who has a voice right now, that they stand up and they speak their mind, particularly about a lot of issues that affect those that do not have a voice, do not have a platform. I hope that they do take that opportunity [to speak out at awards ceremonies] and I look forward to seeing it and hearing it. The more that our entertainment figures can participate in our discourse- and I know a lot of people say, you know, ‘You’re an actor, you’re an athlete or so-and-so, you shouldn’t speak up.’ I think that makes no sense. No matter who you are, no matter what you do in this country, you are a part of our democracy, and if you have a voice, you need to use it.” - Brandon Victor Dixon