victim playing

Your Defining Supervillian Trait

Heartless: You are cold, cruel, controlling, and believe the ends always justify any means. Your ‘love’ is nothing more than a desire to possess others.

Taurus, Scorpio

Hopeless: You choose to live in despair and try to drag others down with you.

Cancer, Capricorn

Soulless: You are empty, vacant, and try to fill the nothingness inside with lies- you think that if you convince the world, you might convince yourself.

Leo, Virgo, Aquarius

Godless: You do as you please, morality, consequences, and higher powers be damned. Your arrogance knows no bounds.

Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius

Helpless: You choose to give your power away and play the victim, as you subtly trap others in your twisted game.

Libra, Pisces

Why people get trapped by Emotional Abusers & Why it’s not their fault

(these apply to platonic and romantic relationships)

1. Attachment

The Emotional Abuser gives you attention: they make you feel flattered, loved and important. You start to believe that they genuinely care about you. They might even think that they do by themselves since they internally justify all their doings. Normally this kind of attachment would lead to a healthy bonding and a closer relationship. With the Emotional Abuser it leads to some levels of addiction and dependency on the victim’s part which is never their fault. Emotional Abuser’s behaviour exploits normal emotional bonding to another human being.

2. Guilt

In some point in the relationship you notice that it’s all about their needs. The Abuser might do something that hurts your feelings and bringing it up leads them to reason why it’s actually your fault and why you have to take responsibility for it. They make up convincing excuses why it’s not their job to do it, why it’s absolutely unreasonable of you to ask for it and so on. In other words: they Guilt-trip you. The Emotional Abuser believes they have no responsibility for their behaviour or feelings. If they feel uncomfortable by something in the relationship they will manipulate you to take the blame instead of trying to work things out. Guilt-tripping makes the victim submit and erodes their sense of emotional and physical boundaries since they are made to believe it’s their job to cater on Abuser’s needs.

3. Cognitive dissonance

After the idealization pace the Emotional Abuser will move to a devaluing pace. Catering to their needs is not enough anymore and you feel you can’t do anything right no matter what you do. The pace starts when the Abuser feels you are getting emotionally too close and/or you are trying to hold them accountable for something they have done. Emotional Abusers are afraid of responsibility and in some cases intimacy so they will try to push you away. They use manipulation: Gaslighting and Guilt-tripping to force you into silence and to take all the responsibility for the relationship. They give you Silent Treatment which is justified by some clever excuses. Emotional Abusers believe they are entitled to absolute emotional comfort even when it means abusing other people.

Because you remember how well they used to treat you, your mind has a hard time accepting they are not the person you thought they were. In fact you might start to make excuses for them in your head because they have manipulated you to think nothing is their fault. It is extremely difficult to get away from the Abuser’s emotional trap because they take advantage of the victim’s emotional bonding to them and give false hope that the relationship could be “fixed”. You are misled into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy” and “selfish”, the Abuser will reward you with the loving behaviour they demonstrated in the beginning.

Aftermath

The Emotional Abuser has no intention to take responsibility for what their abusive behaviour has caused you because they have normalized and justified it in their head. Not all of the Abusers are so sure of themselves but need a lot of internal convincing and validation from others so that they can feel good about themselves which is their goal: not having to deal with responsibility or emotional labour. After all Emotional Abusers are not Disney villains but people who are so selfish that they lack of motivation to learn how to not hurt people.

There are two ways how the trap can break: the victim quits all contact with the Abuser or the Abuser leaves the victim. The latter one occurs if the Emotional Abuser feels they have to deal with too much because of the victim. The Abuser might feel threatened by the victim if the victim is making the Abuser feel bad about themself by calling out their abusive behaviour. The Emotional Abuser thinks that they are actually the victim in the relationship because the real Victim is making them feel bad and scared. The Abuser is genuinely afraid that they would have to deal with negative emotions that taking responsibility would require.

In the end the Emotional Abuser ends the relationship with some dramatic note in which they project all their feelings into the victim: you are the abuser, you have harmed them, you have threatened them. This is their way of securing their own emotional well-being as they refuse to acknowledge the reality. Just remember that it was NOT your fault and you are not responsible for their horrible behaviour. While mutually harmful and violent relationships can exist abusive relationships are based on a power imbalance and therefore there is no such a thing as “mutually abusive”. You are nothing like your abuser.

Katy Perry confirms Taylor Swift is a snake 🐍🐍🐍

She did something so horrible,” Swift says. “I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational – you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it.”

Taylor Swift is once again caught lying in order to play the victim.

Okay I’m about to spill some tea

SO “oh look, taylor swift is dragging up past drama to sell her new album, look at her playing the victim again, you’re still over”

is what all the haters happen to be screaming (among over ridiculous things) tonight, following the release of Look What You Made Me Do, the lead single to Swift’s 6th album: Reputation. But let’s take a little trip down memory lane to see if Taylor really is playing the victim. Hold on ladies, it’s gonna be a long one. 

2006-2008  

Taylor broke out in 2006, and when Love Story stormed the charts in late 2008 she became a global superstar and thus named “America’s Sweetheart” a bittersweet and dangerous title for any young female star, because it’s so easy to fall from the top. She was immediately held to an impossibly high standard of perfection, in every aspect of her life, and she handled this with grace. 

Keep reading

Undeveloped vs developed moon signs

Aries moon
Undeveloped: aggressive, too competitive, mood swings, childish and immature
Developed: goal-orientated, hardworking, but not too hard, funny and open

Taurus moon
Undeveloped: lazy, rude, holds grudges, judging, has to be right all the time
Developed: stable, good with money, great with kids and family, able to make compromises

Gemini moon
Undeveloped: shallow, two-faced, playing mind games, liars, selfish
Developed: great communicators, weird in a cute way, very intelligent and talkactive, social

Cancer moon
Undeveloped: manipulative, huffy, overprotective, possessive, jealous
Developed: caring, helpful, lovable, friendly, shy, but kind, a good friend, supportive

Leo moon
Undeveloped: egoistic, bossy, can be bitchy and rude, loud, tells everyone everything, can’t take critics
Developed: loving, radiates positivity, optimistic, adventurous, great actor and performer, knows how to handle people

Virgo moon
Undeveloped: pessimistic, too hard on themselves, but blames others for their own mistakes, critical, skeptic, boring
Developed: sweethearts, perfect organisators, handles mental health well, friendly

Libra moon
Undeveloped: superficial, indecesive, unsure about who they really are, nervous, manipulative, uses people for own good
Developed: a great friend and advisor, happy and optimistic, open, loves to talk, knows what they have and are happy with it

Scorpio moon
Undeveloped: grudge-holding, possessive and dark, often plays the victim, huffish, loners, sometimes even depressed
Developed: shy, but helpful and truly loves the ones that love them, knows how to be at peace, loves themselves and all their edges, friendly

Sagittarius moon
Undeveloped: fast-paced/hectical, too many thoughts they can’t put into words, can be clingy, do what they want, too loud
Developed: funniest people ever, adventurous, free, peaceful, optimistic, know their worth, can be super serious and deep

Capricorn moon
Undeveloped: flinty, cold-hearted, seems like they don’t have emotions, too hard on themselves, bossy
Developed: have goals that they aspire to reach, supportive, persuasive power, can inspire others

Aquarius moon
Undeveloped: rebellious, can’t find their place in the world, acts cold, uninterested, bored, hard to reach, delusive
Developed: almost a genius, show hidden talents, fun to be around, super practical and great worker

Pisces moon
Undeveloped: doesn’t care about anything, unrealistic life perceptions/ideas, lost their heads, moody, manipulating
Developed: kind hearts, want to help change the world, great with kids, emotional support, creative

list of things in look what you made me do that were fucking amazing:

  • the TS as the camera hovers above the clouds 
  • ‘Here Lies Taylor Swift’s Reputation’ followed by 1989 era zombie Taylor in the Out of the Woods blue dress (her last video of the 1989 era, excluding New Romantics which was tour footage) climbing back up from the dead
  • The tilted headstones which she ‘fixes’
  • Nils Sjoberg, the pseudonym Taylor wrote This Is What You Came For under was seen on a gravestone
  • The $1 note in the bathtub that she won from her recent sexual assault trial whilst bathing in riches, a dig at people who accused her of being money hungry (whether it be the trial or in general)
  • The numerous references to snakes…. the snake ring, sitting on a throne with snakes around her, swinging in a snake cage… then sipping her tea on the throne
  • ‘Et Tu Brute’ is written on her throne and the on the columns of that shot (used to express surprise and dismay at the treachery of a supposed friend)
  • The Grammy in her hand when she crashes the car. The car is a maserati. ‘Maserati down a dead-end street…’ I wonder what song that lyric is from? Did you say Red by Taylor Swift? And she’s holding a grammy? RRRRRRrrrrandom access memories? Hmm
  • As she swings in the snake cage, everyone guards her… a metaphor for how she was treated during that time 
  • Literally wearing a cathead and a ‘Blind for Love’ sweater, she robs a bank titled ‘Stream Co.’, referencing how everyone says she’s money-hungry since when she removed her money from Spotify and the Apple Music letter 
  • The names of all her friends are on her Junior Jewels shirt
  • The word Squad flashed on screens as all these women are aligned up, wearing similar wear to the Bad Blood music video, referencing how everyone kept categorising her friends as a ‘Squad’ even though she’s never explicitly called it that or intended for it to be that 
  • Coming into the room and having a scribe immediately write stuff down. When people described her as a ‘Diva’
  • The ‘I Love TS’ croptops the dancers wear…. a reference to a shirt an ex of her wore last year and people dragged her for that
  • Standing on top of all old versions of her from the You belong with Me video, Shake It Off video, WANEGBT video, Fearless Tour, The Red Tour, Out of the Woods…. as she declares ‘The Old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now… cause she’s dead….’
  • The ending dialogue, where variations of Taylor appear, throwing back everyone’s joke: ‘Stop making that surprised face, it’s so annoying’, ‘What’s with that bitch? Don’t call me that?, ‘Y’all!’, ‘Stop acting like you’re all nice, you are so fake!’, ‘Oh there she goes, playing the victim again’, ‘HISS!’, ‘What are you doing? Getting receipts! Gonna edit this later!’, ‘Uh, I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative…. SHUT UP!’

you said she didn’t write her own music, so she wrote speak now entirely by herself.

you said she couldn’t sing at the grammys, so she wrote mean and performed it the next year.

you said she couldn’t dance, so she wrote shake it off (her most successful song ever).

you said she was a crazy ex girlfriend, so she wrote blank space (her second most successful song ever).

you said she was too country for pop, so she wrote 1989 and won three grammys.

you said she always played the victim, so she wrote look what you made me do.

you said she was over, so she wrote reputation.

the point is, your hate for taylor swift only makes her smarter and harder.

Full list of references in Taylor’s LWYMMD music video (in order)
  • Nils Sjoberg gravestone - The pseudonym she used when ghostwriting TIWYCF with Calvin Harris
  • Bathtub full of gems - Referencing what Taylor said about her persona in Blank Space music video (“like she jets sets around the world, collecting men and she can get any of them but she’s so clingy that they leave and then she cries in her marble bathtub surrounded by pearls’”)
  • Single dollar in bathtub - Sexual assault lawsuit trial against David Mueller where she countersued for $1 and won 
  • Throne of snakes - Kimye/Famous phone call incident, aka “Taylor Swift is #Exposed as a snake” 
  • Et tu brute? - Reference to Shakespeare when Julius Caesar was betrayed and stabbed in the back by someone he thought a friend (Katy Perry & stealing dancers incident?)
  • Car crash scene - (“Driving a Maserati down on a dead end street”) 2014 Grammy’s when she was made fun of for thinking she won Album of the Year (aka Red should’ve deserved a Grammy)
  • Car crash outfit/look - Resemblance to Katy Perry; reference to her feud with Katy (plus, a possible dig at her having 0 grammy’s while taylor has 10)
  • Robbing a bank called “Stream Co” - Taylor’s battle with Spotify/streaming services, for which she was called “money hungry” and “greedy”
  • Army of mannequins scene - Criticism of her group of famous friends aka “girl squad” being a cult of all skinny, pretty white girls/models
  • I <3 TS Shirts of Male Dancers - Referencing Tom Hiddleston wearing a I <3 TS shirt; referencing the media mockery of her relationship with Tom Hiddleston


[END SCENE WITH 15 TAYLORS]

  • Her Surprise Face (“stop making that surprised face, it’s so annoying” “you can’t possibly be that surprised all the time” ) - Reference to people making fun of her for looking so surprised/shocked at award shows
  • “What’s with that bitch?” “DON’T CALL ME THAT” - Reference to Kanye’s “Famous”; how she was never told that he would refer to her as “bitch” in the song
  • “Oh, stop acting like you’re so nice, you are so fake” - Reference to criticism of Taylor being “fake” and not the friendly/nice/sweet girl she “poses” as
  • “Oh there she goes, playing the victim, again” - Reference to common criticism of Taylor always “playing the victim” 
  • “Getting receipts, gonna edit this later” - Reference to Kim K’s (clearly edited) recording of phone conversation between Taylor and Kanye 
  • “I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative” - Reference to Taylor’s response to Kim K’s recording 
Victims will almost always be able to admit their own faults. They will know they reacted badly and did wrong. This quality is actually what the abuser uses against them in the first place to make them believe they are the ones in the wrong. Part of healing from abuse is learning to point out which of the abusers behaviors are, in fact abuse, while still acknowledging what you handled badly. (And everyone reacts badly to things when under the extreme pressure of abuse!).

Abusers will almost never admit they have ever done anything wrong at all. Their victims will be blamed for everything. They will hold every tiny thing against the victim, even things they could not possibly control, or they have never tried to talk to them about. They use social bigotries against the victim, and in their own defence. (Especially mental illness is used in this way - they believe their own illness excuses them from every wrongdoing, and their victims illness is proof they are in the wrong).

  • abuser: how dare you play the victim, you think if you keep acting like a victim things will get better?
  • same abuser, 5 minutes later: I am the real victim here!!!!

Friendly reminder that when Taylor Swift’s publicist said Taylor wrote “This Is What You Came For” , Calvin Harris, a grown ass man threw a tantrum on twitter. And no one said he was “playing the victim”. I believe that’s what the kids call…Male Privilege.