victim blaming culture

Enough excuses for parents who abused their kids but “meant the best”. They “meant the best” for themselves, not for the kids. It’s fucking easy to just rely on emotional abuse, threats, humiliation, shame, guilt and violence to get your way and to force your kid to stay in control and to sabotage and fuck up the child’s life so you would feel good about it, and then to just remind yourself “i meant the best” to feel no guilt about doing so whatsoever. Just repeating to yourself “it doesn’t hurt them” and “they deserved it”  while actively forcing your child to keep all the obvious trauma symptoms out of sight or ensuring the child believes it’s their own damn fault for feeling the way they do.

You know what’s not easy? Having your parent force control of your life via emotional abuse, threats, shame, humiliation, violence. Your parent getting into your own head and  gaslighting your senses until you feel worthless and insane and like a monster, until you don’t dare to feel your own feelings, until you’re ashamed of the pain you feel and can’t see yourself as anything other than a horrible burden and nothing you do can ever change that or make you good enough. You know what’s even harder? Still believing that your parent “meant the best” and not even daring to blame them and still being forced to draw the conclusion that it was after all, all your fault, for existing as you do, for being who you are, for not ever being good enough! And then, on top of all of it, hearing the rest of the world agree with the parent’s view, pressuring you to never blame them, to forgive them, to never hold them responsible, to “be better” and understand them, to not ever try to place blame on anyone but yourself because then you’re the monster.

Just. How. Is. One. Supposed. To. Heal. From. That.
Healing can’t even begin until the blame is placed on the parent! This person literally benefited from their child’s suffering! They did not get affected negatively from it at all, they didn’t even care, they walked away satisfied and getting what they wanted while the child now has a lifetime of traumatic consequences and mental illness problems! Their freedom is taken away, their quality of life reduced, their relationships and friendships sabotaged, their confidence crushed! They’re placed at extra risk for addictions and obsessions because they keep falling into the black pit of trauma no matter how hard they try to distract and their life is heavy and painful no matter how well they do afterwards! Their brain can’t regulate stress properly anymore! Abuse causes literal brain damage and all this is just so the parents would get their way! And you all still insist they shouldn’t feel guilty about it or be faced with consequences of their abuse? They shouldn’t fucking admit to themselves and to their children what they’ve done? If the truth will kill them, let them die. Abused children’s right to heal comes way before the abusers feeling good about themselves.

I’m sick of the idea that children are somehow responsible for saving the world. New generations, new young adults, new children, they’re all brought to life with this pressure that they’re somehow supposed to fix the world that older generations have fucked up! And mind you, not fix for themselves, make life good for themselves, noo, they’re supposed to fix the life FOR the older generations! They’re supposed to save faulty industries, support exploitative capitalistic systems, make up everything to their abusive parents, and then sacrifice their time and labour and will to live so the world could function better for everyone else, and if they happen to fail at this impossible task, then they’re failure as a human being and a burden on society! Do older generations bring new people in this world literally only for their own benefit? To make things better for themselves?

I’m fucking furious about this, as if it’s not enough we’re brought in this world where it’s such fucking struggle to survive literally every person I know has this deep fear of the future, anxiety at what’s going to happen to them, how the world will change for worse and if they’ll be able to ever be safe and sound. We’re somehow expected to fix problems we haven’t created and we have no power to stop, these are problems that are done TO us, they’re not something we’ve been given power over and authority to end.

We had fucking dreams when we were born into this world. We had our aspirations and desires and things we wanted to be, we wanted to achieve, we thought this world was worth something, that we’ve been born into a functioning society, and for a reason, that we had our lives in front of us, and now we have to face that this is nothing but a dysfunctional dystopia and everyone is blaming us for it? For not being enough to impossibly make it work? We’re not here to be what the world needs, we’re here because we’re human, we’re here because we’re alive, we deserve to live, we deserve to experience the wonder and joy and beauty of being alive on this planet, how do they reason taking this away from us? How do they reason throwing us into this pit of impossible expectations while somehow failing to notice that all the good things they’ve had somehow never reached us, somehow got destroyed on the way of their path to success? Our happiness is lost among their winnings, and they’ve still not had enough.

Fucking nobody cares about children anymore.

9

I Am Not Responsible For Your Thoughts

My mom gave me a dress form she used to use when she would sell her aprons at farmer’s markets and I was able to use it for a recent art assignment. When I told her I wanted to use it for art, this probably isn’t what she had in mind…ha

I sat down with the mannequin and wrote all my thoughts I had about the LDS culture and how they teach “modesty” to their young women and how it plays into things like victim blaming and rape culture. Also drew inspiration from Barbara Kruger’s iconic “red bars/white text” thing. I would like to note: I don’t believe that ‘modesty’ as a concept is a bad thing, but how it is being taught to our girls and our boys is. If anyone has any questions or wants to discuss it, feel free to drop me a line.

I had more to say about it than I thought I did and it was INCREDIBLY cathartic. I just hope it doesn’t go over poorly with my professor. Yay for private religious schools

Please don’t remove the caption

i am obsessed with the reoccurring use of ‘the girl in the dress’ in ‘dear john’, and i have always thought it was such a clever use of language. the way she is being described by only two identifying features, being a ‘girl’ and wearing ‘a dress’ suggests the purely sexualised way that ‘john’ sees the narrator, and draws on sexist stereotypes  by suggesting that he sees her as weak and defenseless because she is so ‘typically’ feminine. the lack of names and descriptions also means that this could be any one of the ‘long list of traitors’ in ‘john’s’ life crying the whole way home, which shows how they are interchangeable and completely replaceable to him like material objects. i think this is so interesting and think it works as a comment on the objectification of all women in society, as well as the victim-blaming culture we live in. far too many women have been that girl in the dress who cried the whole way home, and rather than blaming the man who caused their emotional trauma, those suffering women have just been told that they ‘should have known’ and the narrator’s first instinct is to blame herself. it’s essentially a parallel of the ‘they were asking for it’ ideology. the best part is how taylor subverts this though, john is then portrayed as someone who plays with fire, through the image of the girls that he has ‘burned… out’. the song then flips the narrative when the narrator steals his matches and sets the town alight, because if john was playing with fire… well then he was obviously asking to get burned, right? the narrator knows this as the final lines fade out with her changing ‘i should have known’ for ‘you should have known’. it’s calling out double standards at it’s finest

In the last week ALONE, oliciters have:

- Lined up at a con just to ask Katie about the “new” canary so they can laugh about it with their lil twitter friends

- Slutshamed, victim blamed and advocated rape-culture by LITERALLY looking up names/photos of WB/CW execs to place bets on who Katie slept with to get her job back, spreading viscious, slanderous lies by suggesting her re-hiring is the result of blackmail related to her leaked photos, and implying she is benefitting from the fact she was violated.

- Have offered to send people said illegally distributed, sexual content without consent to any mutual who likes the tweet.

- Have @ Katie with insults because of her re-hiring.

- Bodyshamed her.

- Have had the fucking audacity to flock to Stephen and Marc, screaming the victim and whining about how they feel “unsafe” and are being “harassed” (when people are calling them out) and bringing up hate against Emily as an excuse to justify their negativity

- After a year of mocking Laurel fans, celebrating Black Canary’s death, creating a “ByeByeBirdie” hashtag, raising money to send the writers a giftbasket for killing her, kept posting gifs of her death scene at Laurel fans and telling them to “get over it”, they are now having a fullblown meltdown and screaming fanservice and playing the victim over the fact a 5 minute guest appearance, AU version of Felicity got killed on a totally different show???? That’s nothing short of fucking karma, but go off I guess.

All of this over A. Fucking. Ship.

I’ve never come across such petty, disrespectful, self-absorbed, entitled, hateful, misogynistic, childish people in my whole fucking life. And this has all been since Saturday. FIVE FUCKING DAYS.

Anyone who is a part of the fandom and doesn’t call them out is just as bad and can fuck off right now.

2

so today was an interesting experience for me. I received a message from Roosevelt High School saying that since the weather is becoming warmer we must dress appropriately for the season. I decided last night to wear the pants pictured. Mr.Scanga had stopped me going into the school and said that I could not attend my classes because of the holes in my jeans. I then asked to speak with our principal Mr.DeChent about my clothes. I was then told that he was not in the building and would have to get changed or go home. I proceeded to tell Mr.Scanga that I would wait for my parent or DeChent, whoever came first. I was then told I was being insubordinate and would be sent home. Upon arrival of my parental figure Mr.Scanga told my parent that there was a memo sent out to all teachers about enforcing this dress code. When asked for the paper handed out, it was conveniently nowhere to be found. Neither Secretary nor Assistant Principal had a copy. If the said “problem” is distracting for the male student body, they should be taught not to over sexualize the female body so much so that knees and thighs cause a “disruption for the orderly process of teaching and learning”. My outfit does not violate any aspect of the student dress code within Yonkers Public Schools Code of Conduct Page 5 Section 4 Paragraph 1. Roosevelt High School needs to stop this arbitrary dress code and sexist, or dare I say misogynistic practice.