If you’re a boy (and you better believe this means trans men and masculine aligned n/b people), and you have been through some trauma that makes it very hard for you to be touched or be near other people, you’re okay. It’s okay. Please love yourself and know you’re not weird or different or a freak. You’re you, and that’s all anyone could ask for. Take care of yourself, okay?
1. Remind yourself of who you really are – and use positive self-talk to change the way you feel.
2. When you have to speak to someone who outwardly rejects you, or makes you feel bad about yourself, try to act as if you love and feel good about yourself. Fake courageous feelings, and act self confident. (“Fake it till you make it” – and you’ll find your feelings change.)
3. Respond in a friendly, self respecting way – and they’re likely to treat you the same way too. Control your interactions by setting the tone. You be the one to have the upper hand.
4. Use humour in uncomfortable and awkward situations. Humour defuses tension, and puts people at ease. If someone is rude or insulting try to find a way of turning it into a joke. People who have bullying tendencies expect you to get anger or act in a defensive way. When you respond with humor, they don’t know what to do.
5. Overlook small stuff. It’s not worth get upset over every little thing. They’re not worth the effort and energy.
6. Always believe in yourself. You know the truth about who you really are. You’re not stupid; you’re not a victim. You are one who is charge of your life, and is at the helm of your destiny. You have plenty of things to feel good about, and you’re going to make something really wonderful of life.
Shout out to the victims who live in small towns. People who have to see their abusers every day, people whose abusers come into their workplace, people who constantly feel trapped because their abuser lives so nearby. It is so hard to live in that cage of memories. But one day you’ll be able to leave that place, and you can leave their ass behind.
Anthony Hughes‘ mother grieves for her son during a candlelit vigil that was held for the victims of the serial killer and cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer. Hughes was in his early thirties when Dahmer strangled and dismembered him. Dahmer kept his skull.