I’m sorry that one day you’ll turn over in the mornings and I won’t be there because at 5 AM I decided I needed more drugs.
I’m Sorry that when you talk to me my mind will be so distant that I couldn’t tell you what you just previously said to me.
I’m Sorry that when you hold my hands they will be frail and weak from hitting and missing veins.
I’m Sorry for getting angry at you when you realize a week has passed since I’ve eaten and you simply just ask if I’m hungry.
I’m Sorry that I’m forcing you to fight for my love.
I’m sorry that you might not win.
So leave now while you can because even just one shot is that consuming.
I have to apologize in advance (written during previous relationship)
Do you ever wake up in the morning, and one of your parents is talking to you, and although you’re responsive, you’re still half asleep and barely paying attention? That’s what nodding out is like, except a million times better. For me, time stood still. Life continued on around me, and I could tell it was, but I was stuck in my own little bubble of content-ness. I felt like hours would pass, but in reality it would only be minutes. My body would tingle, and nothing could bring me down. I was on cloud nine; my own little personal Heaven.
And then…then the climax would end. I would still be “half awake” but I would start to itch. Disappointment would sink in as I realized it was ending. Then I would wake up some more…and fuck, the itchiness was awful. All my false happiness was swept away, and all the dark emotions came back. Except this time, they seemed to be worse.