vices

p!atd album aesthetics
  • afycso: 1980s strip clubs hidden away from wives, costume parties where the hostess plans to kill a guest, climbing through the windows of friends because it’s not safe at home, losing your virginity to a one night stand that you want back, smudged deep red lipstick on swollen lips, hiding vodka in a flask under your shirt, meeting under barber shop signs to whisper secrets, affairs that everybody knows about but nobody talks about
  • pretty.odd.: stoners sitting in a circle playing acoustic covers of hippie song, kisses on the necks of best friends, lying on the grass on warm nights and stargazing, singing french to yourself even though you've got no clue as to what you're saying, flower crowns strewn over messy short hair, going into grocery stores in the middle of the night
  • vices: newly cut and styled hair, smoothing down vest jackets and straightening ties, sharp violin notes, dark passionate nights and lonely mornings, realising your sunday preacher is also your monday drug dealer, nostalgia for times with old friends that you miss
  • too weird: waking up in vegas even though you went to sleep on the other side of cali, shaking glitter out of folded clothes, blowing out cigarette smoke into the crisp night sky, kicking broken slot machines until change spills out, realising you miss someone more than you care to admit
  • doab: climbing to the top of a building and seeing where the city meets the sky, feeling at ease with somebody for the first time in a while, letting everything bad inside consume you for a little bit but eventually taking back control, lying in the hot sun on a deckchair next to a pool, neon lights shining onto the beach in the late evening
I and me, we
have hard days,
months, years,
where our heartbeat
falls out of step
with our feet.
There’s always this
battle brewing
between nice and vice,
you know?
I tend to glorify
the good days.
Pretty poems about
how these lungs burn
as they breathe in
the beauty
of mountain air.
But that’s not fair.
Because some days,
I set fire to them instead.
I need you to know that.
I need you to understand
that there’s a place in my head
where a dragon is kept,
and I do my best
to keep her fed.
—  Vice, V.P.