it's becoming harder 4 me to fully acknowledge people's gender identities in the present world. U r ftm (correct me if Im wrong), but r still willing to do feminine things. I grew up with trans family members, I always saw them fully commit to their gender. If they were ftm, they wouldn't do "girly" things and vice versa so it was easy for me to acknowledge their gender. I can't really see someone as their gender if they don't act like it. Can u help me better understand these things? Am I bad?
The gender binary is a societal idealization that’s totally useless and quite toxic. The idea that masc presenting people showing any femininity, or vice versa for fem presenting ppl, is something “new”, therefore scary, therefore either Bad™ or must be stopped (when that isn’t the case at all) is harmful to so many people in so many ways.
Trans/nb people have existed as long as history itself, many of whom fall under varying spaces/ranges of the gender spectrum (masculine ↔ androgynous ↔ feminine). Take me for example. I identify as male and go by he/him yet if we’re talking specifics, I see myself midway between masculine and androgynous. That means both what I’m interested in and how I like to make myself look can fall under both masculine and androgynous themes. I don’t see it necessary to wear nothing but manly man clothing since being a man doesn’t mean I have to shun everything feminine, just like women shouldn’t have to shun everything masculine. It’s not our fault for “not passing”, it’s others’ faults for dictating someone’s personal identity.
Regardless how I or others look, you ALWAYS respect their pronouns and name. Having a difficult time adjusting to such a big change, even if you’re not the trans/nb one, is fairly common and understandable enough obstacle and it’s good you’re looking for more info so as to not to be disrespectful. But having a hard time respecting someone’s preferred identity just bc it doesn’t meet your passing standards is yeah, a lil Not Good.