In the event of a zombie apocalypse — or, if you prefer, zombiepocalypse — the Pentagon plans to save the nation with the Chaplain Corps, remote-controlled robots, and hand sanitizer. If an evil magician creates the zombies, the chaplains will step up.
Robots could repair and operate power plants where human workers would otherwise attract hordes of the undead. Hand sanitizer has never been proven to stop the viruses that reanimate corpses, but it kills 99 percent of germs.
Why not give it a try? It sounds silly, because it is silly. But those measures are detailed in “CONPLAN 8888,” or “Counter-Zombie Dominance,” an authentic United States Strategic Command working paper dated April 2011.
“This plan was not actually designed as a joke,” says the 31-page document published recently by Foreign Policy. “The hyperbole involved in writing a ‘zombie survival plan’ actually provided a very useful and effective training tool.”
The Pentagon doesn’t really think zombies are a threat to Mom and apple pie. Zombies present an opportunity to theorize how the military would react to a fast-spreading biological threat that could spawn hordes of enemy combatants and wreak chaos across the globe.
In other words, it’s just a hypothetical model for tactical purposes that gets the top brass thinking.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention pulled a similar stunt when it issued guidelines to the public on zombie preparedness earlier this year.
The CDC used the zombie ploy to explain how to prepare for any major disaster. The irony that’s probably lost on the generals, however, is that the Pentagon is inextricably linked to zombies. Really.
The Pentagon Is Prepared for a Zombie Outbreak | VICE News