very-drunk

A-Z Questionnaire

I love these! Thanks to @mrswalkerwrites for tagging me. Let’s do this! 

A: AGE-  35

B: BIRTHPLACE- Marinette, Wisconsin

C: CURRENT TIME-  10:51 PM EST

D: DRINK YOU HAD LAST-  Diet Mt.Dew

E: EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO- My girlfriend 😁❤

F: FAVORITE SONG- So many. One of my favs I just heard on my way to work today is Wish You were Here by Incubus.

G: GROSSEST MEMORY- Again so many. I was just telling my girlfriend about the time back in college when I was very drunk and puked in the toilet in my dorm room. While I was bending over my school ID fell out of my shirt pocket and into the toilet, which is full of my vomit. I needed my ID to eat so I snagged it out of the toilet and put my ID back in my shirt pocket, still dripping with puke. What?? I had to eat!! 😁😁

H: HOGWARTS HOUSE- No idea

I: IN LOVE?- Yes I am. Madly in love with a beautiful, loving, caring, hilarious, strong, independent woman. Love you M!!!! ❤❤

J: JEALOUS OF PEOPLE?- Oh yes. Very jealous person 

K: KILLED SOMEONE- Not in real life 😁

L: LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OR SHOULD I WALK BY AGAIN?- Definitely believe in love at first sight. It happened to me! 

M: MIDDLE NANE- Robert

N: NUMBER OF SIBLINGS- 1 younger half brother

O: ONE WISH- To be able to see my girlfriend every day

P: PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: My girlfriend ❤😍😁

Q: QUESTION YOU ARE ALWAYS ASKED- Nothing really

R: REASON TO SMILE- It’s Friday, I’m alive, and madly in love

S: SONG YOU SANG LAST- A Bag of Weed from the Family Guy soundtrack! 😎

T: TIME YOU WOKE UP- 7AM today 

U: UNDERWEAR COLOR- White

V: VACATION DESTINY- Europe please!!!!

W: WORSE HABIT- Probably my need for caffeine. Very addicted to it 

X: X RAYS- Last one had was in high school when I fractured my knee

Y: YOUR FAVORITE FOOD- Big greasy cheeseburger and fries!!! 

Z: Zodiac- Scorpio

I’m tagging @blue-sappir, @faded-hero, @choices-ily, @zigschoices, @brittney-beaumont, @pepitapepi, @uhh-the-green-thing, @lacksubstance-productions, @endlessflame, and anyone who wants to play. Consider yourself tagged! 😁

archiveofourown.org
Depth Perception - montparnasse - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

i wrote this in a single night last week as a treat for femslashex but forgot to think of a title and thus couldn’t get it in before the deadline… then, i’m not gonna lie to you guys, i worked myself into a terrible mood for reasons unrelated, got very drunk, then went out of town for the weekend, so i kind of forgot about it. i do feel bad about that but it’s probably for the best because i strayed a fair bit from the suggestions. anyway here’s some weird, mildly wicker man-inspired fleur/tonks

Do not anger the drunk fighter.

(Context: we are at a tavern and my fighter just nat 1’d a save against an intimidation check, resulting in him being so terrified he needed to immediately get wasted to forget.)

DM: After a short while the party notices a lack of a certain kindhearted fighter.
*everyone rolls perception*
DM: Everyone who got more than 10 feels that he went into the inn we are in front of. (Note, about 15 minutes have passed since he disappeared.)

DM: You see your friend sitting at the bar with a… Fighter, roll a d12
9
With 9 large empty mugs next to him.

Dwarf: I approach the bar and order a drink.

DM: You reach for your coin pouch to find it missing.

Barkeep : Short on coin are ye? (The barkeep watched the Dwarf’s coin purse get stolen ) Well ya can always work it off. Start with that lad’s next drink.

DM: Roll a dex check.

Dwarf: *nat 1*

DM: You pour the entire jug on your friend, who is very drunk.

Fighter: Oi! What the hell do you think you’re doing?

Dwarf: I’m terribly sorry!

DM Fighter, roll.me a d4, to see what you do.

Me: 4

DM: Oooh. Roll insight.

Me: *rolls 4*

DM : You draw your greatsword, roll dex to see if you can manage in your drunken state.

Me: *Nat 20*

DM: Alright, you whip your sword out of its sheathe with enough force that it actually spins around your torso once or twice. Roll to hit.

*Nat 20*

Me (ooc to dwarf player) I am so sorry man.

DM: Roll damage, doubled for crit.
(Greatsword is 2d6, so, now 4d6)

Me*rolls 4 6s*

DM: The others watch as their Fighter who was normally so kind just bifurcated their other traveling companion, the Dwarf (who only had 8 health before the attack).

Me: (ooc) well shit. Oops I guess.

aiambia  asked:

Well, since you have free time, how about a kylux drabble/doodle about bad pick-up lines?

Ben sits at the bar, nursing his drink. He isn’t sure where to go or what to do. The temple is gone, there’s no turning back to his family now, those bridges are burned along with everything Ben once was.

Around him is smoke and laughter, too much and too loud. His arm is jolted as someone bumps into him and he turns to stand, ready for a fight.

In front of him is a slightly inebriated First Order officer in a Captain’s uniform, maybe a few years older than himself. His eyes are hazy, the colour of a clouded sky and he looks Ben over as if he’s never seen another man before. “Hello there.” he says, tone smooth even as he wobbles. “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I bump into you again?”

Ben can feel his eyebrows raising, “Excuse me?” he scoffs, “I think you’ve had too much to drink Captain.”

“Ooh! Calling me by my rank, I like it.” One hand comes up to run through already mussed red hair, “Do you like to think of me being above you?” he shrugs, “Or beneath you, I’m not fussy.” The officer smiles and Ben can feel his breath hitch in his throat.

“I should go.” He says, not sure exactly how to deal with this situation. He’s never been flirted with before and he can already feel his face heating.

“Careful you don’t get arrested,” the redhead says, accidentally slopping his drink down himself. “It must be illegal to look that gorgeous.”

Ben’s face is crimson now, and the worst part is that he’s actually starting to like the compliments. No one has ever called him gorgeous. He wets his lips in a last ditch effort to put the man off. “You’ve spilled drink on your uniform you know.”

A pale eyebrow arches and the Captain meets Ben’s eye in a surprisingly steady gaze. “Do you know what this uniform is made of?” He leans in close, breath warm against Ben’s lips and all Ben can do is shake his head.

The man smirks and leans even closer, whispering in Ben’s ear. “Boyfriend material.”

The Signs and Shopping:

Aries: Attempting to make it from one end of the mall to the other on a skateboard without being caught by the rent-a-cops.

Taurus: Not sure which stores are the food stores but still having fun. Taurus has eaten several dresses.

Gemini: Starting a new, better mall, by selling wares out of the back of their car. 

Cancer: Planting kudzu seeds that will eventually overtake and destroy every building here.

Leo: Suddenly filled with inspiration. Made their new masterwork directly on the wall of the department store.

Virgo: Successfully located the secret third floor with all the bonus shops.

Libra: Look fantastic in their ceremonial shopping robes and shopping mask.

Scorpio: Applying for every job they see. They are now officially 40% of the malls labor.

Ophiuchus: Buying lots of espresso and handing the cups to small children out of both compassion and a desire for chaos.

Sagittarius:  Wrenching the security camera to face each other so they have friends now.

Capricorn: Declaring themselves the new monarch of the food court.

Aquarius: Has a corpse with them? The stars and I are not sure why.

Pisces: Very drunk, singing along to the muted PA.