very fast runner

Mod Spottedfur’s Traditional Naming

Hello, this is Mod Spottedfur’s specifications on how she rates names and also a bit of a handy list of suffixes for this system of Traditional Naming.

Mod Spottedfur follows a very similar style of naming to a few other Traditional Warriors blogs online meaning that to be considered Traditional, it first needs to have been used at least once in the first arc of the books to have been cannon. However, she does consider a few more first arc suffixes to fit the system such as -belly, -throat, and -pool. On Prefixes, so long as the prefix can describe a cat reasonably and fit a certain location where cats could encounter this prefix, it can be considered Traditional. As always, she will not take rates with more than 4 names at a time.

Note: Sufix should be first based on skill, if that doesn’t apply, then on personality, and if that doesn’t apply, on appearance.

General Description of Suffixes:


  • Claw: A noticeably powerful cat fighting wise and one likely to be very skilled in battle as well.
  • Fang: A cat who is excellent at hunting and at fighting but doesn’t exceed at either more than the other.
  • Foot: A cat who is very light on their feet and overall a very fast runner and chaser.
  • Leaf: A medicine cat who is incredibly good at their craft to the point of the name being incredibly rare even for medicine cats.
  • Nose: A cat who is an excellent tracker, a cat with overall very good senses and who is very observant.
  • Stream: A cat who is an excellent swimmer and who is great at hunting and maneuvering in the water.
  • Tail: A very agile cat who would also be good at climbing trees and making long jumps.
  • Whisker: A cat who is an above average hunter in their clan.


  • Belly: A noticeably optimistic cat, and overall just a noticeably kind cat.
  • Cloud: A calm, patient cat who is difficult to shake and difficult to work up.
  • Flower: A very motherly or fatherly cat who is good at raising and caring for kits.
  • Heart: A cat with strong morals whether they be good or bad and who has a strong belief that those morals are right.
  • Pool: A cat who is calm and quiet, similar to  a -cloud cat though may not necessarily be patient like a -cloud cat.
  • Step: Based on their fauna prefix, a cat who has similar behavior and movements to their prefix. (Excludes fauna lacking feet)
  • Storm: A cat who bounces from extreme highs and lows and who have a very unpredictable nature.
  • Throat: A cat who is an excellent diplomat both within the clan and when dealing with other clans.


  • Face: A very attractive cat who has completed their warrior training.
  • Fur: A cat who has completed their warrior training.
  • Pelt: A cat who has completed their warrior training.
  • Stripe: A tabby cat who has completed their warrior training.

This is about all I have to say on this but this is generally how I rate suffixes. Also, just because a cat has an appearance based suffix doesn’t mean they’re a bad or uninteresting warrior. Bluestar and Leopardstar both had -fur for their suffix may I remind you.

-Mod S. Spottedfur

Josh Dun x Reader Fluffers

Good morning, because it is almost 1 am here where I am! I hope you are enjoying the imagines I have posted before this and I hope you are having a good time wherever in the world you are. 

This imagine was requested by a fantabulous Anon.

Could you write a Josh Dun x Reader? I literally don’t even care what it’s about, just make it super fluffy. Thanks!

Rating: PG (For the fluffiness and the possible swearing that may occur)

Warnings: None specifically, only that it is pure fluff and is too precious for this world.

I know it’s short, but I sorta based it off of a GIF imagine I wrote earlier. I hope you enjoy it!

- Kasi

Going on tour was fun, plain and simple. Touring the country, or countries, and seeing all the different cultures and kinds of people there are was something you enjoyed a lot. But if there was one thing that you enjoyed more than that, it had to be seeing all of this stuff with your boyfriend Josh. You and Josh had been together for a few years now and you had gone on every tour Twenty One Pilots had been on. 

Over time you had become friends with Tyler and the crew and everyone else that was in Josh’s life, making your previously sad and quiet life happy and vibrant. 

It was a few hours before a show and everyone was kind of just milling around getting things placed for when the stage needed to be set up. You and Josh were sitting side stage against some amp cases, just relaxing and no doing anything special. You pulled your legs up so your knees were at your chest and you rested your chin on top of them. Suddenly from the dressing rooms you heard Tyler come running out obnoxiously and stop in front of you and Josh.

“You two look bored, let’s go on an adventure!” Tyler exclaimed and you looked over at Josh, confused and slightly worried about Tyler.

“We’re good. You go on an adventure and report back to us when you are done,” Josh told his bandmate before Tyler stared for a second and then basically pranced off toward the stage. You giggled to yourself before you felt arms wrap around you and a giggle from Josh sounded in your ear.

“Josh, what are you doing?” You laughed while whining. He just tightened his arms and began kissing your neck. The two of you then fell over into the middle of the walkway. All along your sides you felt Josh begin to tickle you. Laughter and screams left your mouth as the two of you rolled around on the floor and got in the way of the crew members. Normally the two of you would just sit there and talk, but apparently Josh had other plans.

In a moment when Josh paused his tickling, you took it and sprinted away from him, in hopes of stopping the tickling but also just because you wanted to run around and be weird. But you had never been a very fast runner so when you looked back to see if Josh had noticed you were running away from him, he was almost already caught up to you.

“Ah, no, Josh!” You laughed as his arms wrapped around your waist and picked you up. The two of you then fell over once more on the stage and burst out into loud laughter before you just laid there. Touring can be stressful sometimes with everything that is always going on, but sometimes there are moments that make it all worth it.

anonymous asked:

What do you think about very fast high school freshman runners (girls) who slow down around junior year? I have seen many runners who were star of team during their freshman and sophomore year but slow down after that? What do you think is the reason for this?

I think that’s perfectly okay! And it will take some time and some major adjustments in training but they can definitely reach those times again in years to come.
I think this happening is largely due to girls hitting puberty and simply changing. Before then, their successes can be largely attributed to natural talent but after hitting puberty it make take some higher-mileage/more intense training to reach that same level through a fitness standpoint (at least in SOME cases.)
This is obviously a generalization and not the reason for it happening in every case. For someone who this happened to, I suggest seeing a doctor and getting blood work done first, then going to from there!! These things happen and I think the best thing these individuals can do is remember there IS life after high school running!

Today, I fucked up... by volunteering for a fundraiser half marathon without knowing the run route

Last Saturday I volunteered to be a worker for a half marathon race fundraiser. After I checked in I was driven to the last water point, at a T intersection about 2 km from the finish, so I was told. But I was told nothing else and I asked no further questions.

Within 15 minutes a pack of very fast runners begin to approach. Their leader yelled to me “Which way?” Well, I had no fucking idea. I could either guess left or right. But, the road they were to turn on was a one-way road. So I directed them in the direction of the one-way, towards downtown. I had a 50-50 chance of directing them in the correct direction. I guessed wrong.

For the next 30 minutes or so I directed runners in the wrong direction until one of the race organizers drove by and caught me in the middle of directing another group downtown. We spent the next hour sending vans downtown finding runners and bringing them back like lost kids at a park.

TL;DR I directed the first 40-60 half-marathoners in a race in the wrong direction (when they were 2km from the finish) causing them to run around aimlessly.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

Crazy people, best people . Joker x Reader

A/n: here’s another request for ya loves ;D

Pairing (Jared Leto) Joker x Reader

Plot : the reader just as crazy as J and she finally meets him after she escaped Arkham.

Warning : swearing?

Crazy people, best people.

You got your self in a lot of trouble this time . But who was to blame . The guy really did test your patience.  And you weren’t known for your patience.  The opposite. 

You were known for a simple reason.

You were just pure crazy . You were completely bonkers.  No matter what they try to do to you , no matter how much therapy you go through,  you never changed .

That smile stayed on your face . That look in your eyes . That tone of voice.  That laugh . It will never change. 

Oh but why were you running right now and from who ?

The police of course silly!

You see , you finally got out of the looney bin , and as soon as you finally had a breath of fresh air,  freedom,  they had to ruin the fun . The guys you didn’t take with you to freedom.  So they informed the staff and they called the cops . And so you ran . You were almost impossible to catch while on foot.  You were an expert gymnast and a very fast runner .

So it was not a surprise that you ran in to a werehouse and hid in it . And of course no one found you . They never did. They only chought you once and it was all thanks to Batsy of course. 

You sat in one place for hours before you head footsteps and voices.  One particular voice chought your attention.

“Now boys hurry up and get all the goods out of here before Batsy comes and ruins the fun again .”
That voice made chills run through your body.  And you loved it . When you heard movement right beside you , you just smirked,  knowing it’s just a matter of time till they find you . And as soon as they did one of the guys who found you turned around “Hey boss we have a visitor .” The other guy dragged you out of your hiding spot “oh yay moving ” you giggle. 

“Oh what do we have here ?” Said the same voice .

You looked up only to see the most gorgeous guy you ever saw .

He was a bit taller that you . He had amazing pale blue eyes that could drive a person insane.  Bright green hair stood out just like the red on his lips . You slightly bit your lower lip as your eyes travelled all over his body . As if burning his image in to your memory.

You smirked at him “hi there hansom ” you purred.  You saw his eyes slightly widen.  What ? Nobody else ever told him that ? Oh well . Their loss . The smile on his lips soon grew in to a smirk as he ordered his goons to let you go . “And who might you be doll face ” he said.  You got closer to him , not showing fear like the others , but showing interest and a little bit of playfulness “the names (Y/n) but people often call me The Mad Hatter ” you smiled .

“Oh the infamous Mad Hatter,  what a pleasure ” he laughed,  hearing him laughing made you weak in the knees “my , my , what a cute laughter,  I like you , a lot ” you giggle. 

He looked at you , something in his eyes , interest ? Yeah. He was just as interested in you as you were in him and it made your cold little heart skip a beat .

“Really now?  Well then how about working for me then?  Hmm ~ Together we can rule over Gotham city as king and queen ” he purred , getting closet to your face .

Felling his hot breath on your skin , his,  being so close to you , such a hot guy , you felt a slight itch between your thighs. 

“Sure thing baby ~ ”

Today, I fucked up... by stealing a freshly baked pie from some lady's windowsill

A couple of weeks ago I was walking down this street by my house when I caught a really great smell. I looked around and pinpointed where the aroma was coming from. About two houses down, this lady was setting a pie out on her windowsill. I couldn’t believe it. This was like something out of a movie. People actually do this in real life? They actually leave pies out to cool?

I had to have it. I thought, I’ve seen this go down in old-time movies, the lady leaves the pie out, they cut to a guy walking down the street, me, I start licking my lips, my mouth watering, salivating with animal desire, and then I’m carefully sneaking up to the window, making sure nobody’s looking, I snatch the pie and make a run for it. Then they’ll cut back to the empty window, that lady will kind of look around and scratch her head in confusion, now where could I have left that pie?

Why not? You know what’s more American than homemade apple pie? Taking a freshly baked apple pie from some lady’s window. I walked right up and grabbed it, which, I found out immediately, it was a huge mistake. No wonder she had put it out to cool. This thing was red hot. Every once in a while I’ll be working at the restaurant, and I’ll watch the cooks, maybe from like years of handling hot dishes, they’re able to pick up anything with their bare leather hands.

And I’ll be like, well, if they can do it, I can do it too. And so I’ll grab a plate and it’s really hot and I’ll drop it immediately. You think you can will your body to ignore the pain, to just muscle through it, but there’s always a point where your hand just lets go immediately. So I had this pie and it was really hot and I though, OK, I better put this down right away.

I didn’t have much time, so I kind of just dropped it down at my feet. I didn’t know what to do, so I took off my shirt and used it as a potholder and picked it up. But this was like not part of my plan at all. I wanted a quick getaway. Instead, here I was still standing at this lady’s window, shirtless. “Hey!” I heard her scream at me, “What are you doing? Give me that pie!”

And so I freaked out and ran. I ran like three blocks, still no shirt on, holding this pie in my hands. I had no idea where to go. This never happened in the old movies. There was a really small park like three blocks away, and so I found some bench sort of out of the way and sat down to figure out my next move. I finally got a good look at the pie. It was definitely blueberry or cherry, some sort of small, jammy fruit. The filling was bubbling out of the sides still, and maybe because I aggravated it by too suddenly dropping it to the ground, it was kind of oozing out of one side, getting all over my shirt.

How would I even go about trying to eat this thing? I didn’t have any utensils, nothing. And like I’ve said already, it was really, really hot. And then I started to feel bad, like really bad, overwhelmingly guilty. What had I just done, really? In my insane impulse to replicate a snippet of Americana that I’m not even sure if I was remembering correctly, I’d gone ahead and probably ruined this lady’s day.

I’m no novice. I know what it takes to make a fresh pie, from scratch. Just getting the crust right is a pretty significant challenge, chilling the butter, working with it fast enough so that you can form a decent crust without the whole thing melting apart. It’s doable, you know, like anything you get better with practice, but I looked at this pie, it definitely had that rustic appeal. Maybe this lady was like seriously depressed, and so she picked up pie baking as a new hobby, something to keep her mind of the debilitating numbness crippling her everyday life. And maybe all of her pies had thus far been unsuccessful, maybe this was her first real triumph.

And as she set that first really good pie on the windowsill she thought, maybe life isn’t so bad after all, maybe things will get better. And then just as she turned around I came up and took it. I fumbled it. I ran. I started to feel even worse. I looked at the pie tray. It wasn’t one of those disposable foil trays. This was nice. It looked like it had a history. Maybe it was her mother’s. Maybe she found it while she was mourning her loss and thought, hey, pie baking, I’ll pick that up in honor of mom’s life. This’ll help me get through it. And so not only did I rob this lady of her pie, of her time spent baking the pie, but now her pie tray is gone too, how would I get it back to her?

I was feeling bad for a while, sitting there in the park, the breeze against my bare chest, sad. But then I thought, wait a second, why was she leaving this pie unattended? Why didn’t she have any screens for her window? Who leaves food right in an open entryway to their house? That’s an invitation for bugs, for rodents, cat and raccoons even. No, I did her an indirect favor. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. And there’d be much less likely of a chance at any infestation now that …

“Hey! You!” someone yelled at me, interrupted my thought.

“That’s him officer! And that’s my pie!”

I turned around. It was the lady. Somehow she found a cop, and somehow they found me here. I didn’t know what to do. I panicked. I went to pick up the pie to hand it back to her, to say that I’m sorry, that that was a crazy thing that I did, that I was just about to bring it back. But I forgot how hot the pie was, so when I picked it up I got that slow burn, until finally I couldn’t hold it in. I screamed, “Yow!” and I threw the pie to the ground, and this time it was totally destroyed. I looked back up at the cop and the lady, I couldn’t think of anything to say, and I just ran. And I’m a really good runner, very fast, a lot of endurance, and just took off, zigzagging through random streets, careful not to lead them back to my house, and I did it, I lost them.

TL;DR - Stole pie, got away with it.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

What if Tsukishima really *was* at the center of Bleach?

As requested by anon. :)

When Tsukishima stabbed Orihime and Chad, he made them believe that he was integral to their lives - and to the whole plot of Bleach. He was the star of each of their back stories, and coincidentally had made all of the major Bleach plot points happen as well. Eventually, Orihime and Chad mentally collapsed under the weight of the ridiculousness of that delusion. But what if it were true? Can I, BLG, make that dream world seem like a plausible reality? Probably not, but it might be funny to try!

1. Everybody in Bleach really would be related.

Sure, Bleach likes to have surprise “you’re related to Ichigo!” reveals. But if Tsukishima were the center of Bleach, then this would be taken to ridiculous levels.

Kyoraku: I don’t get it. Why are all of you helping Ichigo save Rukia?

Chad: Because of Tsukishima. Who is Ichigo’s cousin and Orihime’s brother and my grandfather.

Kyoraku: …

Chad: What?

2. And live together, I guess.

Well, Chad and Orihime, anyway, since Tsukishima supposedly raised both of them.

Orihime: It feels nice not to live alone.

Orihime: Not that I’ve ever experienced that, of course!

Orihime: Huh, that was weird.

Chad: Yeah, I do that too sometimes.

3. The hollow that attacks Orihime in the beginning would be just some random hollow.

Since her “brother” Tsukishima is living and can’t attack her in hollowfied form, Ichigo’s first big solo fight would need to be against some random hollow trying to kill Inoue. And probably Tsukishima would take care of it anyway.

Ichigo: I’m here! Where’s the hollow!

Orihime: Oh! Kurosaki-kun! It’s okay - Tsukishima protected me!

Rukia: What, is he a shinigami too?

Orihime: No, why?

4. Tsukishima would need to be a very fast runner.

Since he has to be the center of like everyone’s stories.

Orihime: D-did I just develop fairy powers?

Tsukishima: Yup - good job.

Tsukishima: Gotta go!

Orihime: Where are you going??

Tsukishima: Chad’s about to get his power and I gotta be there too!

Tsukishima: So glad I wore running shoes today!

5. Ishida really would be an outsider

And not just because he’s the “only” Quincy.

Orihime: It must be hard, being the only member of the group who isn’t blood-related to Tsukishima.

Ishida: T-there are many people in the world not related to that guy!

Chad: I dunno

6. Tsukishima would basically be like a photo bomber, only for fights.

Since he’s supposed to have “helped” Ichigo with all of his fights, I just imagine Tsukishima as some kind of fight photo bomber who keeps showing up at the last second to seize the victory.

Ichigo: No….I can’t……lose!

Byakuya: You have already lost, Kurosaki Ichigo.

Ichigo: No - !

Ichigo: [about to power up]

Music: [swells]

Tsukshima: Hold on, I got this!

Tsukishima: [delivers final blow]

Byakuya: Teacher why

7. Ichigo would miss out on a lot of power-ups.

Getting rescued does that to a guy.

Shinji: Hi I’m here to help you control your hollow powers!

Ichigo: Hollow powers? What hollow powers?

Shinji: …am I early?

8. Either that or all of his power-ups would be due to Tsukishima.

Actually, I think I might like this idea better.

Tsukishima: Ichigo, I will now poke you until you develop hollow powers, okay?

Tsukishima: Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.

Ichigo: Your bankai training was better.

9. The fullbringers would have a less abrupt introduction.

You know, would feel less tacked-on.

Ichigo: I’m kinda bummed about not having any powers.

Tsukishima: Let me introduce you to my friends.

10. Ichigo would just be frustrated all the time.

I guess he wouldn’t really know why, since this would be his new reality, but I feel like he’d sense it somehow. That out there was a universe in which he was way more cool.

Orihime: Kukaku’s cannon again.

Orihime: This feels like the first time we went to Soul Society, only last time, Ishida was here.

Ichigo: Don’t worry, Inoue, we’re going to find Ishida and - 

Tsukishima: And I will drag him back!

Orihime: You’re the best, Tsukishima!


Ichigo: Sometimes I just want to punch a wall and I don’t know why.

Harionago - 

Harionagos wander the streets of Shikoku, Japan, at night. They seem like every other beautiful young woman with long, disheveled hair. On close examination the ends of her hair are covered in barbed hooks. 

When a young man passes her she will smile coyly at him. If the smile is returned she lets down her hair and uses it like barbed tentacles to bind him and rip him to shreds before devouring the pieces.

It is possible to escape a Harionago but you have to be a very fast runner. The best way to escape is to flee to a building with a strong door and hide there until the sun rises. Harionagos only appear at night so they will vanish once the sun comes up. She will continue to attack the door that is standing between her and her prey until sunrise. The scars and gouges she leaves in the wooden door frame remain as a testament to her viciousness.

anonymous asked:

If Pearl or any of the other gems were animals, what would they be?

oh, ok so I’ve thought a lot about this actually. I haven’t nailed down everyone yet

Garnet: So I don’t know if this really the best fit but I’ve always seen Garnet as a grizzly bear. Probably because I really love grizzlies but also I think they fit ‘cause grizzlies are huge, powerful animals who can, and will, mess you up if you cross them, but mostly they just want to hang out and be left alone. Grizzlies are very multitalented (powerful, fast runners, problem solvers, etc). And the mothers are notoriously super protective of their babies

Amethyst: North African Crested Porcupine! I like porcupines for Amethyst ‘cause they’re prickly and don’t let anything get close to them and their quills can take down almost anything. And the North African Crested Porcupine has very Amethyst-like hair

Pearl: Pearl I’ve kinda waffled between a Maned Wolf, which has legs that remind me of her very much

or a weasel

I know a weasel is, like, the opposite of her, since she has long limbs and a short body and they’ve got a long body and short limbs. But I like weasels for her because weasels are extremely tenacious and can take down animals 10 times their size

Steven: Steven’s a one-of-a-kind hybrid of a human and a Gem so I think a platypus is a good match for him

Jasper: OK so I know its tempting to see her as a tiger, ‘cause of the stripes but hear me out. Huge, aggressive, totally capable of killing you, and sporting a helmet-like crest, there’s no doubt in my mind Jasper would be a cassowary

I haven’t figured out what I like best for the rest of them, but I’ll get there

anonymous asked:

Newsies in Kindergarten?

  • Jack is the popular kid who gets in trouble a lot with the teachers for not paying attention. But he’s really a sweet kid and if he sees someone playing alone he’ll sit down and play with them. That’s how he met most of his friends
  • Crutchie was very shy and didn’t like to talk to a lot of people (it was hard being 6 years old and already having medical problems) but when he met Jack he started to get a little more outgoing
  • When kids ask Katherine to play house, she refuses to be the “mom that takes care of the kids”. She makes whoever is the “dad” watch the kids while she goes and does her pretend job
  • Race will randomly try and start games of tag (he likes tag because he’s a very fast runner) by basically running up to someone and shoving them and saying “tag! you’re it!” He got in trouble for accidentally shoving a kid over once tho
  • Romeo is that little kid who will go up to adult women or teenage girls and ask them on dates and when they giggle and play along he takes it really seriously. He shows up with flowers and everything. He probably had a few “kindergarten girlfriends” and maybe even one “kindergarten boyfriend” just because
  • Poor Specs gets picked on a lot because he’s quiet and shy and he likes to read instead of playing. Finch sat down next to him one day and asked him what he was reading and Specs read to him so they became good friends
  • Spot always has the best snacks/lunch. Always. 
the dinner I ate tonight was prepared by my mom’s chemotherapy

I woke up to the sound of my mom vomiting in the living room.

Instead of checking on her, I got up out of bed and walked into the bathroom.

Once I got in the bathroom, I just stood there.

I didn’t know what I was doing in there.

It was 7:00 PM and I didn’t have to brush my teeth and I didn’t have to pee or anything either.

It was like some misdirected impulse had taken over and then just abandoned me in the bathroom, most likely to help me avoid going into the living room and assisting my sick mom again.

As I stood in in the bathroom, I saw my mom’s hairbrush sitting on the tank of the toilet.

Her hairbrush was so full of hair it looked more like a fork that someone had stuck into a big bowl of spaghetti and then slowly rotated, gradually collecting a huge ball of pasta on it.

I stood there, staring at her hairbrush, and the more I stared at it the more it reminded me of spaghetti and the more I began to feel myself getting hungry.

I had begun drinking red wine around noon and then passed out around two, sleeping through any idea of either lunch or dinner.

I had been drinking a lot as of late and, never having been a very fast runner, and hating running more than anything in the world, I knew drinking mass amounts of wine was the only way I could not only run away from my family’s problems but keep a safe distance between me and them as well.

As I stared at my mom’s hairbrush, getting hungrier and hungrier the more I looked at it, Death walked into the bathroom. He was dressed in his typical black, hooded robe but he was also wearing my mom’s short, blonde, bob-cut cancer wig on top of his head.

“Oh, hey,” Death said, sounding surprised to see me loitering in the bathroom. “What’s up, roomie?”

I rolled my eyes without rolling my eyes.

Death was such a smug prick.

I hated having him around and the fake way he pretended to be friends with me even though he was killing my mom and slowly destroying my family.

Plus he kept eating my food.

I looked down and, sure enough, he was holding a plastic Cinderella cup that my niece used to eat ice cream out of when she was little and it was filled to the brim with Honey Nut Cheerios.


“How much longer are you gonna be around?” I asked him.

“Ahhhhh, come on. You know I can’t tell you that.”

Even though he had no face, I could still tell he was grinning at me from inside that cavernous hood of his.

“Hey, did you hear your mom vomiting a few minutes ago? That was all me, man. Well, the chemo helped. But, really, that was ‘cause of me, ya know? It just feels good to see your hard work pay off I guess is what I’m getting at here.”

I didn’t know what to say so I just stood there in the bathroom like an overflowing garbage can that you couldn’t balance one more piece of garbage on top of without making the entire mountain of garbage sticking out if its top crumble and fall everywhere.

Not even a small piece of garbage.

Like a gum wrapper.


“Soooooo…” Death said, “are you done in here or what?”

“No, I’m gonna be awhile,” I quickly replied even though I still had absolutely no idea what I was doing in the bathroom other than staring at my moms hairbrush full of her hair and it reminding me of spaghetti and making myself hungry in the process.

“Oh… Okay,” Death said.

He brought the plastic Cinderella cup up to his face, or complete lack thereof, and then I heard munching sounds.

“Are those mine? Are those my Honey Nut Cheerios you’re eating?” I asked Death.

“Yeah, the box was almost empty so I just polished it off.”

I bet this dickhead left the empty box in the cupboard. I’ll bet twenty bucks and my hairy nutsack this dickhead left the empty box in the cupboard, my brain said.

I was getting really pissed at Death.

I’d had enough of him.

I wanted to karate chop him until he was dead from it but that would’ve been like beating a dead horse incarnate.

“Can you not wear my mom’s wig?” I asked him.

“What? Why not? She doesn’t wear it. At least not yet.”

“Because I wanna wear it,” I said even though I didn’t want to wear my mom’s cancer wig at all.

I just didn’t want him to wear it.

I was applying jealous, bitter pre-schooler tactics on Death.

“I just think it would look a lot better on me,” I said to Death. “I have a long face and her short, bob-cut wig would help create an allusion of width which I really don’t have, making me pull it off very well. You don’t even have a face.”

Death just stood there. I could feel authentically sad and hurt puppy dog-eyes peering at me from inside his hood but I didn’t care – the smug prick ate my Honey Nut Cheerios.

And he was killing my mom too.

Death took my mom’s cancer wig off and handed it to me. I immediately put it on without even making sure if it was straight or not.

Death just kind of nodded and then turned and walked away.

I stood there and looked at myself wearing my mom’s cancer wig in the mirror.

I didn’t make a good blonde.

I looked stupid.

And I felt sad, helpless and so full of dread that I was surprised I had any room left to be hungry.

But I was.

I was really hungry and I knew my dad hadn’t made dinner either.

After taking care of your dying wife all day you really don’t have much energy leftover to make Sheppard’s pie or meatloaf or anything.

And me? I was beginning to feel hung-over and sure as shit didn’t have it in me to make dinner either.

I looked down at my mom’s hairbrush. Then I picked it up like it was a huge forkful of spaghetti and began eating her hair out of it.

As I ate my dinner prepared by my mom’s chemotherapy, I thought about the girl who said she loved me and made me feel special and then picked up and moved in with a friend in California, cramming as many states in-between us as possible.

I pictured her lying on the beach, taking in the sun while guys walk up to her and hit on her, throwing themselves at her, until these thoughts were stopped when I heard my mom calling me from the living room.

“Cal? Calllllll?

The desperate, whiny tone in her voice told me I had to help her go to the bathroom again.

I put my mom’s hairbrush back down on the toilet tank, took off her wig, looked in the mirror, pulled a few stands of her hair out of my teeth and walked into the living room to help this woman who I was only capable of loving and caring for 55% of the time because she and I never got along and also because we had absolutely nothing in common.

As soon as she saw me tears began streaming down her face because of her constant inability to do anything for herself anymore.

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes and could feel the girl who left me getting suntan lotion smeared on her back by some guy while lying on the beach.

I could feel all that in the pit of my stomach.

It’s funny how things work out in life.

Except not funny at all.

Like Rob Schnedier.

The way things work out in life is exactly like Rob Schneider.

Alex Gaskarth Imagine

can I have an Alex Gaskarth one where you two are best friends and living together and you both secretly like each other and the guys try and get you two together somehow, you make it up pleaseeeee!!


Your POV

You and your best friend Alex were making a cake or well in your case attempting and failing, neither of you were very good at cooking. All you were doing was making a complete mess in the kitchen.

You were mixing the cake mix when all of a sudden you felt a load of flour being poured on your head. You quickly turned round and saw Alex standing there with a devilish smile on his face.

“Right, that’s it!” You said and picked up an egg. His eyes widened and he made a run for it, know what you were going to do. You chased after him all round the house, it didn’t help that you weren’t a very fast runner.

You eventually cornered him and this time it was you who gave him the devilish look. You walked closer to him and smashed the egg on the top of his head, he was not impressed at all. He looked at you shocked and suddenly picked you up.

“Alex put me down!!” You shouted with a giggle. He completely ignored you and kept walking with you over his shoulder. You loved it when the two of you did things like this, to be honest you’ve had a crush on him for quite a while now and you like that you can be yourself around him 100% knowing that he won’t judge you because he’s just as bad as you.

“I can’t hear you sorry!” He chuckled and you slapped him on the back which caused him to drop you, luckily you fell on the couch.

“What was that for?” He whined and rubbed his back with a pout.

“You know I hate it when you do that!” You said. He just laughed at you. Then you heard a loud knock on the door then you heard it being opened and slammed shut. Jack, you thought. What a surprise, you saw Jack, Zack and Rian all enter the room like it was completely normal.

“Sup?!” Jack said casually.

“Oh just invited yourselves in, we don’t mind at all!” Alex said sarcastically. You were used to it now, all 3 of them basically live at your house anyway.

“Dude I knocked!” Jack defended himself. Alex just shook his head at him with a chuckle and left the room.

“Why are you guys here?” You asked them.

“We were bored and you two have a bigger TV than me!” Jack said.

“And we want to ask how you and Alex are doing?!” Rian winked. You may have told them that you liked Alex but you made them promised you not to tell him.

“Shut up, he’s out there!” You whined. They all just laughed at you.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Zack asked.

“Are you crazy?! He only thinks of me as his bestfriend, I can’t ruin our friendship, he means to much to me!” You explained.

“Whatever you say” Zack smirked. You looked at all 3 of them weirdly, they’re up to something, you could tell. Then Alex appeared back in the room.

“So did you guys actually come here for a reason?” He asked.

“Like I said, you have a bigger TV than me!” Jack repeated. You all then sat down together and watched whatever you could find on the TV while chatting about random shit like you usually do.


The guys stayed at your house for the whole day and ate most of your food which you weren’t really surprised at.

You were up in your bedroom when Alex appeared you gave him a ‘what are you doing in here?’ look and then the bedroom door slammed shut. Then it clicked, the guys had been trying to get you two together for a while now so now they’ve locked you in the same room as each other.

“Guys what are you doing?” Alex shouted while banging on the door over and over again. You heard giggling and then heard them run away, they’re such children sometimes. Alex gave up trying and sighed heavily.

“Now what do we do?” He asked.

“I guess were stuck in here!” You said and sat crossed legged on your bed. Alex then came over and sat next to you. Should you tell him? It’s not the end of the world if you get rejected you thought. Then Alex spoke up.

“This could be a good thing” He said mainly to himself “Um, can I talk to you about something?” All of a sudden he’d turned nervous.

“Of course, what’s up?” You asked.

“Okay I’m just going to be straight up honest with you. I like you Y/N, I like you a lot.. the guys have been trying to get me to talk to you about it but I always wimped out because I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I do understand if you don’t feel the same way” He explained. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, Alex actually likes you back, you suddenly felt stupid for ever feeling scared to tell him.

“The guys did the exact same thing with me, I was always to scared to tell you how I really felt!” You said with a smirk. His eyes widened when he realised that you hinted that you liked him back.

“Wait, you actually like me back?” He asked shocked. You just nodded your head.

“You don’t realise how happy I am to hear that!” He smiled.

“I didn’t know how you felt and our friendship is too special to me for you to reject me!” You explained.

“I felt the same way!” He agreed.

“So what does that make us now then?” You asked curiously.

“Well.. what would you say if I asked you to be my girlfriend?” He asked. You’ve been waiting for him to ask you that for a very long time.

“I’d say I’d love to!” You smiled. A massive smile then crept up on his adorable face. He then leaned down and connected his soft lips with your and you moved your lips in sync with his, it was perfect. You then pulled away and looked at him deeply in his eyes.

“I love you Alex” You smiled.

“I love you too Y/N!” He replied and kissed you again. For once you were thankful for the others 3’s childish ways.


I don’t like this very much but I still hope you like it x