WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. ohhhh my gosh. uh, because he is HILARIOUS. And hilarious? And he’s also an interesting person because dude, how do you even get to be such a little weirdo? He’s so insecure and masks that with overconfidence and hopes no one notices, but of course everyone notices and he just comes across as desperate. But then… I know people like that in real life, so it just makes him seem like a real flawed person.
Also he is beautiful. have you SEEN his FACE?
Why I don’t When I first started watching the show I thought he was creepy. ;_; Fortunately I realized that he’s a lot more than that pretty quickly.
Favorite episode/scene You’d better believe my favorite episode is Chuck vs the Best Friend. Literally everything he does in it the best. Of course the last part of the episode where he overcomes his fears for Jeff is the absolute best part, because he is a pretty selfish and self-centered person and having him do something he doesn’t necessarily want to do for someone else, that’s the best.
Favorite line This is a super, super tough call. I’m giving this a three way tie between:
his offhand “Very dangerous, huh?” to Chuck as Chuck walks out of the store in Chuck Vs the Nacho Sampler, where Chuck tells hot girl of the episode new Nerd Herder Hannah that everyone aside from himself in the Buy More is very dangerous IN EARSHOT of literally everyone in the store, because the delivery is equal parts offended and hateful because, THAT’S A REALLY DOUCHE MOVE CHUCK. REAL DOUCHEY.
his “Finally.” in THE SAME EPISODE to Morgan, when Morgan asks Lester and Jeff to stop stalking a hot girl he’d asked them to find information on, and instead stalk Chuck. It just sounds like he’s… so proud. Like he’s so proud of Morgan for actually being able to admit his feelings for Chuck. I laughed SO HARD.
but lastly, I think have to go with his “I miss that.” in Chuck vs the Santa Suit, which is in my literal favorite scene of season 5, where Jeff and Lester are both at Chuck’s christmas party. Lester is talking about how he and Jeff spent Christmas Eve hanging out in the back room of the Buy More (working, but still,) and that it seemed like ‘old times’ before Jeff’s entire outlook and approach to life changed, and Jeff remarks that this is the first christmas he isn’t blackout drunk. The above quote is Lester’s response, and it’s just so sad that you know, they’re not really the same kind of friends anymore. And he wants it to go back to the way it was but at the same time, he knows it won’t.
A runner up is his little 'search for friendship’ speech in Chuck vs. the Kept Man, which FUN FACT is the episode of theirs which immediately follows the one mentioned above. And I swear he’s supposed to say more in the scene in this episode and they cut it, but I guess I won’t know until the season 5 DVD comes out.
Favorite outfit I’d say everything but every single time I see his outfit for Take On Me I die laughing because WHY WHITE HEELS. WHY IS HE WEARING WHITE HEELS.
Though the jacket/blazer he wears for Ellie and Awesome’s wedding (AND ALSO CHUCK AND SARAH’S BY THE WAY) just makes me smile.
OTP In show, I don’t really have one. buuuuuut… his hardly-ever-mentioned-but-still-canon thing for Sarah I think is kind of sweet in a weird way.
Out of the show, he can marry my sister Rebekah. they’re meant to be. (that is if she doesn’t marry hank or troy or tom first)
Non-romantic OTP There is literally only one answer for this AND IF YOU THINK I’M NOT ANSWERING JEFF THEN YOU ARE THE WORST
Chuck and Morgan are a great brOTP to have, but their relationship is so very very different from the one Jeff and Lester have; Chuck and Morgan have been friends since they were six and have all these shared life experiences; they’ve been there for each other selflessly basically all their lives, and see each other literally as brothers.
Jeff and Lester are in stark contrast, because you get the feeling they’re friends because both of them literally has no one else. And they’re there for each other, sure, without judging or expectations, but it’s not a very positive friendship. They both bring out the best and also the worst in each other; they enable each other in the absolute worst way, but neither one wants to leave because then they’ll both be alone. Which I think is why in seasons 3 and 4 they keep trying to get people to join their 'crew’, because then it’s not just the two of them, there’s someone else. And why in season 5, even though all of a sudden Jeff wants to be a better person and wants to make Lester do the same, they both still want to stay friends even though they are both so upset with how the other one is acting and they want to change the other. It’s just so sad and I just LOVE THEM SO MUCH. YOU GUYS. DON’T EVEN KNOW. how much love is in my heart. it’s so sad. BUT IT IS STILL LOVE. OKAY GUYS.
Honorable mention, however, to Lester and Morgan, because I was all over their friendship in season 2 and their subplot in Chuck vs the Gravitron was just my FAVORITE OKAY. (when Morgan called him out for being an ass in season 3 and then FIRED HIM… my heart broke. it did.)
Headcanon so many I could puke. but here are some: Lester considers his brown blazer part of his outfit for special occasions. He lied when he said he lived with his parents in season 3 because he didn’t want to say in front of the entire store that the real reason he didn’t want to lose his job was because he didn’t want to go back to prostitution. He secretly, genuinely wishes he could have that white picket fence and house with the red door future, but he will never have it because he’s too selfish, self-centered and messed up to ever be able to sustain that. He cries at really, really shitty emotional movies and pretends he doesn’t.
Also he has a subscription to Redbook BUT THAT ONE’S CANON.
Unpopular opinion I’m pretty sure liking him at all is an unpopular opinion. Especially having him as my absolute favorite character.
To make it even more unpopular: I think his (non-romantic) relationship with Jeff is way more interesting than Chuck and Sarah’s relationship. SORRY GUYS. (I am not sorry in the slightest.)
A wish for them I wish he would appreciate what he has. Because he might not have a lot, but he really takes what he has for granted.
I also wish he was a) real and b) would let me join his crew WAIT WHO SAID THAT
An oh-god-please-don’t-ever-happen for them I’d say I never would want the writers to lose the human side of his character and instead make him a little crazy freak but OH WAIT HI SEASON FOUR HI >:|
(fortunately season five got some of that back soooo yeah.)
5 words to best describe them BEAUTIFUL, angry, vain, HILARIOUS, DID I SAY BEAUTIFUL?
(alternately, 'indian Brittany only less driven’)
(you guys he really just reminds me of my old roommate brittany a lot okay)
(but I have already written like 1500 words so I’ll shut up)
(also he has less boobs than her [by a lot])
My nickname for them
Everyone time (read: ONCE) that anyone calls him Les is my FAVORITE. so, that. (also: leslie. because. that’s hilarious.) (fun fact: I briefly worked with a guy named leslie that everyone called les)
THE END THE END THE END THE END THE END I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THIS