While the minimum number of bikes one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

from Velominati: 

Rule #12 / The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.

I feel like you fully embody Rule #5, “Harden the fuck up”. You just hop on the bike and you don’t complain.
—  The nicest thing to have ever been said to me.