veggie steak

Tyler Posey had the day off from work, but you did not. You were such a loving boyfriend that he decided to greet you with something special when you got home. You were the first relationship that didn’t scold him for breaking wind. Countless numbers of men and women would walk out and never return the minute they smelled his brew. But you… your cock twitched at the smallest mention of him having gas. He could fart for hours and you didn’t mind.

“First up, I need to let these beans simmer in this crock pot.” It was a gigantic crock pot that could easily feed 8 people with left overs. Beans and chili powers simmered for hours in that pot while he prepared the rest of the meal. “This Broccoli & Chicken Cheddar Bake is sure to give me gas…” Tyler made it many times before at home for him and the Teen Wolf crew… just a small slice made him into a wind machine, however the entire 9x9 casserole dish was gonna destroy his insides… all in the name of love he thought. “Finally, spicy peppers, juicy steak, hot hot HOT curry sauce… better add some extra cauliflower and garlic to give it a kick…” Tyler was about to settle in for the meal of a lifetime.

The first spoonful of beans entered his mouth. Not just any spoon, but one of those big serving spoons. If he was gonna finish this meal in time to greet his boyfriend at the door with a gift of gas he’d need to eat quick. He chugged some of his 2 liter coke and started to work on the casserole. The hotness burned his mouth as he danced the food from one side of his mouth to the other. Perhaps he should have let it cool.

A bite of steak… a chug of coke… a big spoon of beans… a piece of casserole… another chug of coke, this time he made sure to swallow as much air as he could with each sip. The curry and peppers made his stomach rumble… but he LOVED the stuff. He thought he should have made more of that.

Two hours later Tyler was polishing off the last of the beans. The steak and veggies were gone, as was the casserole. He started on a second 2 liter as the other one had gotten stale. He walked to the freezer and pulled out a half gallon of ice cream. His stomach was bloated and the pain was nauseating. But his baby deserved every last batch of gas he could muster up. He shoveled the ice cream into his mouth and drank the 2 Liter as quickly as possible. He heard a car pull up. “Perfect” he thought. Tyler stood right at the door and waited to hear your footsteps. An SBD exited his ass that lasted 5 seconds. DAMN it stunk! He stopped it abruptly to save up for the main event. Tyler sat on the counter top right in front of the door as he awaited you to find your keys.

You walked into a foul odor that HAD to be a fart cloud. Tyler was bloated and sitting half naked on the counter top. Your heartbeat began to race and you smiled. “Good evening baby… OH!… FUCK!!!” He grabbed his swollen tummy and leaned to one side ripping a fart that lasted well over two minutes. Your eyes widened as he began to dramatically waft the smell into your nose. “That wasn’t bad for an appetizer… but come a little closer for the main course…” Tyler signaled you closer and you almost tripped quickly running to him. He grabbed your pants waist and unzipped you to pull out your rock hard cock. Placing it on the counter top he sat down on it and ripped another fart. His sinister smile stared you down as you began to orgasm from the never ending vibration of his gas attack. You shot your load right on the counter top as he stroked the back of your head and kissed you on the lips.

“PHEEEEW!” Tyler mocked you and grabbed you by your tie to lead you to the bedroom. From there he chained you to the post after stripping you of your clothes.He walked out of the room and came back with some more ice cream. He stripped off his underwear and sat his huge smooth bubblebutt right on top of your face. “Lick deep” was all he told you. You did. Your cock was coming back to life as your tongue went deep inside Tyler’s asshole. A fart shot out just as ripe as the previous ones. It was twenty seconds long, but it was the smallest one of the day. “I better not smell anything baby… this was all for you.” Tyler grinded his ass right on your face and ripped another one. You sniffed and sniffed, and swallowed as much gas as you could. His asshole swallowed even more of your tongue as you began to massage his hole with your taste buds. As he sat up your tongue slipped out and you found out his next tactic… a gas mask! “Wear this now baby…” Tyler strapped the mask to your face and connected his ass to the other end. A loud fart shot right out of the blue and the long stream of gas made it’s way to your face. Over a minute of flatulence became your only air supply as you screamed and moaned with pleasure. “Hush baby! I know what’ll make you feel better.” Tyler climbed on top of you with his ass mooning you. He caressed your cock with his fingers and slowly place his lips over your rock hard member. He was giving you a blow job while gassing you to death. You shot your load instantly as he swallowed the cum. He took another huge spoonful of ice cream and began to start again. The gas exited his ass almost too frequently. You thought the tube was gonna burst it was so pressurized from the amount of air he ripped into it.

Hours went by, you started shooting blanks… you were light headed… you woke up with a headache… “GOOD MORNING BABY!!!” Tyler burst into the room with more steak, curry, and vegetables with some scramble and deviled eggs. “I’m so gassy today! Won’t you sniff it up for me!” You moaned in pain as your cock had a mind of it’s own. You tongue fit snuggly into Tyler’s hole as he gassed you out just as bad as last night… FUCK you had the perfect boyfriend… and so did he.

my favorite thing is cookin dinner 4 my gf. she works rly hard and she’s always very excited when she comes home and i am cookin. tonight i made her steak and veggie stir fry

Best zucchini ever!!!

So I was messing around in the kitchen, trying to make a side to go with the steak Jon was grilling. I knew I have two zucchini a but no eggs or bread crumbs (I usually make baked zucchini fries). So I seasoned them with Italian seasoning and tolled them on the grill with the steaks.

No surprise them smelled like pizza so Jon said lets sprinkle cheese on them right off the grill.

AMAZING. We hardly used any cheese and happened to have a Mexican blend of shredded cheese (not my favorite). They literally came out like little pizzas!!!!

Jon doesn’t even like zucchini but he ate as much as I did. I have never seen him eat veggies before steak but he couldn’t stop. So I had to share this.

🔹Zucchini sliced to about half an inch
🔹seasoned with Italian spices (come in a jar labeled as such lol nothing fancy
🔹grilled or baked to your preferences
🔹sprinkle with shredded cheese as soon as they come off of the grill or out of the over

This isn’t something I even would have thought of. I usually put mozz on zucchini if anything but the Italian seasoning really kicked it up to a pizza level 😍

Yesterday was an amazing treat day!
Not a ton of junk or alcohol, just a loooot of food.

Eggs and toast for breakfast, a chicken quesadilla for lunch, and then we headed to a friend’s house for a wedding shower. There was pulled pork with like ten different kinds of homemade BBQ sauce and Jake’s friend made homemade pretzel rolls that were SOOOO GOOD along with different homemade mustards. And of course, chocolate cupcakes and cookies shaped like cute little wedding dresses.

Then we met friends for supper and I just ordered a side of guacamole to eat with tortilla chips. God I was so full after like five hours of the wedding shower and a million soft pretzels.

Sooo today I need to be a little more mindful of what I eat. We’re going out to Olive Garden for lunch and I think I’ll pass on the breadsticks and do the make-your-own pasta dish, stopping when I’m full. Then we’re grilling out with Jake’s family for supper and it should be relatively healthy….steak with veggies on the grill. Hopefully I can find time to at least get a walk in today, too!

Help me practice pt. 2

Author: theweirdymcweirderson

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Mary Winchester, John Winchester, Bobby Singer, Original Female and Male Characters

Relationships: Reader×Dean Winchester, Reader×OMC

Word count: 2841

Warnings: Tension, Awkwardness, Awkward dinner, Jealous!Dean, Jealous!Reader, Annoyed!Dean, also Dean is a jerk sometimes but he doesn’t mean it *wink*

Summary: College!AU The reader has never been kissed and as a guy starts to take interest in her, she asks Dean, her best friend, to help her practice. After they kiss, none of them seem to be able to keep holding back the feelings they have for each other.

Author’s Note: As I promised, here’s part 2, let me know what you thing about it, guys! Love me some feedback! *wink* Hope you like it, enjoy reading *kisses*


You glanced at your phone noticing it was 7.30 p.m., and closed your book, stretching your sore muscles before making your way downstairs.

Bobby was in the living room, going through some bills when you walked in, “Hey, Bobby, how was your day at the garage?” You sat down on the couch, turning on the TV.

“The usual, John told me Dean and Sam are back” He flashed the knowing look he always had on his face whenever you talked about Dean, “Yeah, I know. He picked me up at school…”

He nodded, smiling to himself as if he knew the biggest secret of all times, “Whatever… What are we eating for dinner? I know you want pizza, uncle Bobby!”

“Calling me uncle won’t help you this time, we ate pizza two days ago” You gave him your puppy dog eyes, but he shook his head, “But, uncle Bobby-”

“No ‘but’s, (Y/n), you need to eat something healthy from time to time, I’m making steak and veggies” You tried to argue some more, but he didn’t change his mind and you ended up eating what he cooked.

After dinner you took a relaxing shower and brushed your teeth, before you slipped under your covers and turned off your lamp, waiting for Dean’s call. You didn’t have to wait for long; your phone rang a few minutes later.

“Still up?”

“Yeah, was waiting for your call” You heard him chuckle at your grumpy tone, and you were sure he knew the cause.

“Let me guess, veggies night?”

“Yep, didn’t even let me plead my case this time” Dean could practically hear the pout in your voice, and it wasn’t hard for him to actually picture you at the moment.

“Don’t hate me, but he’s right, (Y/n), you should eat more healthy” If he’d been next to you, you would’ve probably punched him.

“If veggies tasted like pizza, I would eat them more often, but they don’t, so shut up, Winchester!”

“Yes, ma'am! Oh right, I almost forgot. My parents say hi, and mom wanted me to ask you if you wanna join us for dinner on Friday”

“Yeah, yeah of course I’d love to! Should I bring something?”

“What kinda question is that? Pie, obviously!” You giggled at his offended tone, promising him you’d get him some pie.

“Oh, ehm…Dave texted me earlier, wanted to know if you’d go out on a date with him…”

“Really? And what did you tell him?!” You weren’t expecting Dave to ask Dean something like that, and you didn’t know what Dean could’ve answered him which was somewhat unsettling.

“Uh, nothing…thought I’d talk to you first” You drew in a relived breath, and relaxed back on your mattress, closing your eyes for a second.

“Oh, okay…okay” He waited for you to add something else, his hand nervously playing with the dinosaur on his nightstand, the one you’d gotten him for his 11th birthday.

“So…do you wanna go out with him?” He bit the inside of his cheek, hoping you’d tell him you didn’t and actually allowing him more time to muster enough courage to ask you out himself.

“Yeah…I mean no? I don’t know, yet. You know what? Tell him that you have no idea, and that he should ask me himself…I’ll figure out what to tell him later”

“Fine, I’ll-If that’s what you want… Pick you up at 8 tomorrow?”

“Yep, I’ll be waiting. See you tomorrow, night, Dean!”

“G'night, (Y/n), sweet dreams” You heard him yawn before the call died and you turned off your phone before getting comfortable, falling asleep a few minutes later.

The following day started off like usual; true to his words Dean was in front of your door at 7.50, right as you pulled on your jacket and said goodbye to Bobby.

You waved to Sam who was smiling at you from the backseat, and jogged to the car, opening the door and climbing in, “Morning, guys!” You turned on your seat and hugged Sam, pecking his cheek and telling him how much you’d missed him.

Sitting back in your seat, you leaned in to give Dean his usual kiss on the cheek, but this time it felt different; it was kind of weird after the events of the previous day.

Dean felt the same way, well actually, he felt more like a kiss on the cheek wasn’t enough for him anymore; he wanted to take your face in his hands and capture your lips with his, claiming you as his girl.

Still, none of you brought it up, pretending as if everything was just the same, but Sam picked up on the tension in the car anyway and he knew that something had happened between you and his older brother.

He smirked to himself, but other than that, he too didn’t say anything, settling for asking you how you’d been instead, before he told you everything about his week away with Dean.

You dropped off Sam at school and then headed for your college, the ride filled with random chat as you both tried to avoid the topic you most wanted to discuss.

Once you reached your destination, Dean was surrounded by his team mates and you made your way to Alice and your other friends, waving Dean goodbye and telling him you’d see him later.

Classes were boring as usual, the professors blabbing to themselves not really caring if any of you really listened, and before you knew it, it was time to head back home.

The elder Winchester was waiting for you in the parking lot, just like every other day and as you were walking towards him, you noticed Dave approaching him.

You considered turning around, pretending to have forgotten something and hoping to be able to avoid Dave, but he lifted his gaze and looked straight at you, smiling your way and waiting for you to reach him and Dean.

“Hey, (Y/n). So, uhm…you know, ehm, I was wondering if you’d like to, I don’t know, maybe grab something to eat on Friday, after we finish our project? I’ve heard there’s a new café in town, and I thought maybe you’d like to go…with me?”

You didn’t know what to tell him, he was cute and all but still you didn’t have feelings for him; you couldn’t have feelings for him, at least not as long as you had them for Dean.

You were about to decline his offer, when one of Dean’s ‘friends’ appeared out of nowhere, and practically threw herself all over him; her arms wrapped around his neck as she whispered something in his ear.

Normally you wouldn’t have been bothered by it, hell you’d been witnessing this kind of stuff for forever, but this time it hurt more than usual and that was what made you decide to go out with Dave.

“Sure, I would love to!” You moved closer to him, swaying your hips maybe a little more than necessary and your arm found his neck, bringing him down to allow you to brush the corner of his mouth with your lips.

You pulled back and he gave you an excited smile, drawing in a shuddering breath; while Dean who’d watched the whole scene unfold in front of him, tensed and practically growled at the both of you, but you didn’t notice.

“Cool, so…ehm, we’re still meeting at the library, right?” You nodded, smiling warmly at the stuttering guy in front of you, “Sure, once we’re done you can take me to this new café”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re awesome, I mean, that’s awesome…that’s just cool, ehm, okay! Great I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” You giggled at his flustered state, blushing slightly at his compliment, “Yep, bye Dave”

He said his goodbyes to you and Dean and left, with a huge, boyish grin on his lips. You turned to face Dean and found him staring at you, the girl who was earlier with him, nowhere to be seen.

“Thought you were coming to dinner at my place on Friday” You face-palmed yourself; you had totally forgotten about it in your jealous mood, but you tried to play it cool, the damage was already done anyway.

“I am! Dave and I are meeting after school, there’s enough time for us to drink something together before dinner” You looked away from Dean’s glare, and decided to get in the car instead.

You pulled out of the parking lot in complete silence, before Dean couldn’t take it in anymore, “What the hell happened to not knowing if you wanted to go out with him?”

You glanced his way, but his eyes were glued to the road in front of him, “I, uhm…changed my mind. Besides, how am I supposed to learn how this kind of stuff works if I never experience it?”

He clenched his jaw, his hand subconsciously tightening around the steering wheel, “And you wanna experience this kind of things with him?” You could tell by his tone, that he was irritated.

“Why are you getting mad at me?” His eyes darted your way for barely a second, before he redirected them on the road, “I-ehm, I’m not getting mad at you, I’m just worried about you”

“Why? He’s your friend and I’ve known him for a while, he wouldn’t hurt me, Dean” He scratched the back of his neck, shaking his head, “That’s exactly my point, he’s my friend. If anything happens, I’m gonna have to kick his ass. Why him, anyway?”

“Well, it’s not like I have hundreds of guys drooling over me, Dean” You turned your head to look out of the window and avoid his eyes, “Are you kidding me, (Y/n)? You’re fucking gorgeous! Half of the football team dreams of being with you”

You blushed furiously and bit down on your bottom lip; butterflies erupting in your stomach, not because of what he’d said about the team but because he’d just told you he thought you were gorgeous.

Dean froze when he realize what he’d said, but brushed it off immediately hoping you’d do same, “I’m sorry, (Y/n), I didn’t mean to be a jerk” You hummed your acknowledgment, but said nothing else.

You hopped off the car as soon as you reached Bobby’s, quickly wishing him goodbye and jogging towards the door. Usually you would’ve invited Dean in, but none of you was really eager to make everything even more awkward than it already had become.

When Friday morning came, you were more than a little nervous; your mind showing you the worst case scenarios that could unfold. You got out of bed and took a quick shower, before you threw on the first thing you could find.

Dean was in front of Bobby’s at the same hour and you climbed in Baby, greeting both Winchesters but after that, none of you said anything and you drove to school in complete silence.

You noticed Dean was still kind of annoyed and you hoped it didn’t have anything to do with you, even if you had to admit that the thought of him being jealous of your date with Dave was rather pleasing, but you decided not to indulge in the fantasy.

After school you went straight back home, put on one of your favorite, casual dresses and a pair of boots that had just a bit of heel. You didn’t feel like doing much with your hair, so you pulled it up in a high ponytail and finished your look with some light make up.

You grabbed your bag with the stuff you’d need for the project and made your way to the library. You found Dave waiting for you in front of the door and after you got inside and found a nice spot to sit at, you started your work.

You finished at about 5.40 p.m. and you left the library soon after, heading for the new café everyone was so excited about. It was nice, full of people your age chatting and laughing.

Dave lead you to a secluded booth, away from the noisy groups of people. You ended up taking a strawberry milkshake, which you had to admit was amazing and he took a cup of coffee.

You sat there and talked about this and that and the more you talked, the more you noticed how much the two of you had in common. You listened to the same music, liked the same food and he admitted to even appreciate some of the TV programs you watched.

He walked you back home, and you had enough time to ditch the bag and grab the pie you’d baked the previous day for Dean, before you made you way to the Winchesters’ house.

You rang the bell and a few seconds later Dean opened the door; he scanned you from head to toe, before his eyes locked back on yours, “Didn’t think you’d actually come.”

Before you could answer him though, Mary was pushing Dean out of the way and wrapping her arms around you, “You look dashing, (Y/n)! Sammy told me you had a date, I want to know everything about it”

She flashed you a cheeky smile and you giggled, nodding your head, “Ehm, I asked Dean what to bring and he said pie would be okay, so uh, I brought some pie” You glanced at Dean, but he just looked away.

“Oh, darling, you didn’t have to” She took the pie from your hands and told you to join the others at the table cause she was about to serve dinner.

You sat down next to Sam, opposite from Dean, while John was sitting at the head of the table, and he smiled at you as soon as he saw you, “Here’s my favorite girl! How you been, kiddo?”

“Hey, Mr. Winchester! Uh, good I guess, same old same old” You smiled, pretending not to see the way Dean was staring at you and talked with Sam about one of the latest books he’d read.

Mary’d made Lasagna for dinner, one of your favorite dishes, “So, (Y/n) how was it?” She grinned as you swallowed your last bite, “Delicious as always, Mrs. Winchester”

“I can’t believe you still call me that! You’ve known us since you were a little girl, (Y/n). There’s no need for this formalities, how many times do I have to tell you?” You looked away, and felt your cheeks flush red.

“Same here, kid!” You nodded at both Mary and John, your eyes darting to Dean who had an amused smirk on his lips, “Now, (Y/n), you mind helping me with the dessert?”

You got up and followed Mary to the kitchen, where the first thing she did was ask you how your date had been. You told her what a gentleman Dave had been with you, and you gossiped a little, before you joined the others again.

“Woah, this is really good!” Mary nodded her head in agreement with Sam’s statement and winked at you, “Yeah, (Y/n) where did you get it?” You smiled at the youngest Winchester exclamation and turned to answer John.

“I, ehm, I baked it. Is it really that good?” You looked at Dean for confirmation, after all he was the expert, “It’s not bad, yeah…”

Your shoulders slumped at his comment, and you tried to cover it up, but you were sure John and Mary had noticed, “Where the hell have your manners gone, son?”

You could tell this conversation wasn’t going to end well, so you chose to end it before it got worse, “It’s okay, Mr.-Uh, John. I asked, he just answered, it’s no big deal”

You flashed him a small, forced smile and he decided to drop it to avoid making things even more awkward for you, something which you really appreciated.

After dinner you decided to watch a movie and when normally you’d have cuddled with Dean, this time you found yourself sitting next to Sam, shifting every few minutes trying to find a comfortable position.

You were actually glad when the movie was over, cause that meant you could finally go home, “Well, it’s time for me to head back. Thank you for dinner, it was really nice”

You grabbed your boots and put them on, “Dean, take (Y/n) home, would ya? It’s too late for her to be walking back on her own” Dean nodded to his father, and slipped on his sneakers, followed by his jacket.

“You should come visit us more often, darling! It really is a pleasure having you here” You smiled, thanking Mary and John, and hugged them both before wishing them goodnight, giving Sam a kiss on the cheek.

You left the warmth of the house, to be met by a chilly night outside. You didn’t say anything though, mostly because you felt that Dean was still annoyed with you.

I tried this out recently. It was way cheaper than all the other vegan mayo/sandwich spreads out there, from what I’ve seen, and I was making veggie cheese steaks and wanted some mayo to go on them. I really like the stuff. Imo it’s just a hair too salty, just a teeny tiny bit, well to me anyway. Overall it’s really cost effective considering jars of vegan mayo this size are normally around $9-12 and I got this for like $3-4 and the other vegan mayos in that price range come in jars significantly smaller. So for the time being Hellman’s will be my mayo of choice!

Life is twisty

I love NOLA but today was too long.

We did a swamp tour first thing am. It was awesome, our guide was awesome. It was so fucking hot.

We came back and met some people for lunch at Mother’s (good but very non spicy) and then we were going to go to the garden district to see Ann Rice and Trent Reznor’s house and the Lafayette cemetery. It was pouring so we dropped everything I could off at the casino. Jess found a friend so I went to Bourbon street. I met them for dinner but I took one bite of my ridiculously priced steak and ran to the bathroom and returned it. Fuck. I am so sick of being so sick. People are supposed to eat but I will go days sometime only getting a few bites. I can’t handle it anymore. I set in the bathroom and cried. Then I cleaned myself up, boxed up my steak and veggies and left. I gave the yummy warm steak and veggies to a tiny, strung out, homeless lady with an adorable dog name Zoe. She seemed uninterested but I begged her to eat and feed her pup. Drugs are bad.

I did go to the Clover Grill and met Will (shocked he was a young white dude!), I slipped him everything I didn’t leave at Harrahs and told him it was for the good work he does. I said it quiet because he could lose his job for helping homeless and I didn’t want to get him in trouble.

I came back to the room and took a bath in the shitty, over priced, Shit-show of a tub and climbed into my over-hard bed. This place better not live up to Omni standards. If it does I am sticking with a different high end hotel.

We told the front desk (kindly) about our complaints (not an actual suite in anyway, why the fuck am I paying for a suite? Tub takes 10 years to fill ((about 40 minutes!!!)) and even longer to drain. She offered to send engineering. We said no ((we almost never even let housekeeping in, I don’t want strangers in my room!)) and she said they would do better next time. I managed not to scream at her, politely thanked her and walked away mumbling “there is no fucking way there is a next time”.

Still love this place, it almost makes me believe in equality and the human spirit again. I couldn’t find dog Man Will but the other hucksters and homeless had seen him today but not for a few hours. Will at the Grill said he is usually much later. I did meet a nice man, Kevin and his GF, they were trying to get somewhere blah blah blah. He gave me the standard how to stay out of trouble in NOLA speech and I told him to tell Will I said to feed them. They won’t go in. They were in the twitchy drugs. He was okay but she was pretty far gone. People break my heart.

We are our own worst enemies.