vegans are weird with way too much time on their hands

Porcelain and Window Panes

Prompt: Dan sees a a beautiful man doodling on a foggy window in a cafe and can’t get him out of his head. He comes everyday at the same time to see the beautiful stranger.
Word Count: 3671
Warnings: Cussing, light angst
A/N: Thank you to @philestergifs for this amazing prompt! It took so long to write this for some reason (I’ve been writing it since October???) and I’m so happy I could finally get it out! Special thanks to @theinsanityplays as well for giving me some feedback for this fic ^-^ I also didn’t have a beta so sorry for any errors but I hope everyone likes it!
Read it on AO3!

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To say Dan was having a terrible day was an understatement.

He woke up late, having forgotten to set an alarm for work, so he had to rush through his morning routine. This meant he wasn’t able to take an hour long shower like he was used to and he couldn’t straighten his hair. Thanks to genetics, his hair dried in curly ringlets that stuck out in every direction.

He also had to skip breakfast, which is bad in itself, but he soon found out that his coffee machine had stopped working as well. Dan with curly hair and no morning caffeine? Not a good idea.

So he went for the best option of going to the nearest coffee shop and ordering a french vanilla latte to go.

The wait was nearly impossible to sit through, especially with Dan’s habit of being too impatient for his own good. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, practically quivering in his shoes at each name that was called. His eyes were frantic while he tried to distract himself from the inevitable doom that was this horrible morning.

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anonymous asked:

During vet school, did you ever practice on animals and then euthanize them? Were there ever experiments, etc done on animals that would cause them to suffer in any way? Did you ever practice on dead animals that were killed in order for you to learn?

Ah, a hard hitting question.

So, some of you are not going to like this question, or its answer. Some of you are going to have very strong opinions and some of you will probably like me and my profession a lot less after this answer. Some of you will find this topic confronting.

The short answer is yes, animals are used in the education of veterinary students, and some of them die.

But significant effort is put into reducing the amount of animals used and how invasive the activities they are used for are.

For example, vet students need to learn how to do a physical exam. You need to be taught how to take a heart rate, how to take a temperature and blood pressure, etc. You can really only learn how to examine a living animal. Other learning situations substitute something else for the living animal.

I would also preface this topic by saying that non-recovery surgeries do and did happen, but nobody is particularly proud of it. However they were at the time deemed necessary for a veterinary education and of benefit for animal welfare as a whole by educating vet students.

This is a big topic so I’m going to try to divide it up into sections:

  • Experiments
  • Dissection
  • Non-Recovery Surgery
  • Practical handling.

Experiments

As some examples from my vet degree, early on in physiology courses we had ‘experiments’ to do, which involved either videos of mice administered different medications, on ourselves, on tissue samples from a single animal distributed among the class, some very energetic rats and pithed cane toads. As for whether they suffered or died:

  • The mice in the videos probably did not enjoy the sedatives they were administered, but the small number of mice used then went on to educate many years of students.
  • A single animal (a laboratory rabbit) was euthanized to provide tissue samples for the entire class. One additional rabbit was used to demonstrate the effects of medication in a living system for the entire class also.
  • A few dozen rats spent half an hour or so in a sealed tube designed to measure their oxygen output, then went on to live their lives.
  • The pithed cane toads were definitely killed for our education, but they are a feral pest species in Australia and would have been killed anyway, we just benefited from a useful body to learn from.

The ethics of these examples are all a little different. Yes we used a lot of rats in one experiment, but it was very low stress and caused them no permanent damage and no significant compromise. The pithed cane toads were all dead, but they didn’t die for the purposes of education, they were going to die anyway, we just used the bodies. The rabbit was directly killed for our education, but one rabbit educated 120 students and so it was deemed worthwhile and a justifiable cost.

Dissection

‘Dissection’ is a word that no doubt conjures up vivid and grotesque imagery of animal abuse, however dissection strictly occurs strictly on dead animals. Yes, we dissected animals in vet school. Lots of them.

In the first half of the course we learned anatomy in part by performing dissections. Most of these initially were on greyhounds: dogs that were euthanized as ‘waste’ from the racing industry. Some poor gentleman had the job of calling clinics which serviced the racing industry and requesting cadavers for our studies. Some weeks we had more dogs available than others.

The benefits of greyhounds is that each group had a body that was more or less the same, they were entire (not desexed), had really good muscle definition and were healthy.

(There were some vegans in my year that refused to participate in this for ethical reasons, and the university struggled to find people willing to donate their euthanized pets’ bodies to be dissected instead.)

It’s a kind of weird situation to be in. You’re in vet school because you really care about animals and their welfare, yet here are some that have sort of died for your education, for you. They haven’t really died for you, the racing industry was going to kill them anyway, yet here they are.

It does dwell on your mind. Everybody reconciles this differently. Myself, I promised the sacrifice (as I saw it) of those twelve dogs that I would be worth it. That I would use the education I gained to make a difference, that I would save at least twelve more.

We also dissected parts of animals and those that died of natural causes. ‘Waste’ organs from abattoirs were a common example, because they always have hearts, lungs and uteri to spare. Some wildlife, lambs, aborted fetuses and chickens were used in this way also.

So these animals weren’t killed directly for our education, but they were kind of harvested for it, if indirectly. They were killed, absolutely, but they weren’t killed for us. We just used the waste.

Non-Recovery Surgery

This is probably the topic you really anted to know about. Did we, or did I, use animals in our education that would then either suffer or be killed.

Killed, yes. Suffer, no.

There were three classes in my vet school days that required dogs to be used for non-recovery surgery. These were surgeries where the dog was placed under general anaesthetic, so they feel nothing, the procedure was done while they were alive, and then they were euthanized while under the general anaesthetic.

If that feels ethically kind of weird to you, it should. It is very much in a grey area. Let me give you some more information about these dogs.

  • Three dogs were used for each group of three students, averaging one dog per student.
  • They were all taken from ‘death row’ from animal shelters. Dogs that had not been adopted and run out of time.
  • Most of them had behavioral issues. Some had medical issues.
  • They were treated with the same care and respect as a recovery surgery.
  • Under general anaesthetic they are completely unaware and unconscious.

So the dogs were considered, unfortunately, a ‘waste product’ of society. Hundreds of thousands just like them are put to sleep for the same reasons every year.

Once they are under anaesthetic, they feel nothing. This is where the animal’s consciousness ends. Euthanasia involves an anaesthetic overdose, we just didn’t overdose them until the end.

The surgeries performed included a spey, a lung lobe removal and an intestinal anastamosis. If the students had performed these imperfectly, the animal would not wake up to suffer, nor would it need to endure the recovery period.

They provided an educational opportunity for both surgery and anaesthesia, which are important learning areas.

That this happened a decade ago. I personally have been graduated a long time, and technology advances in the meantime. There are better surgical models available now for training students, especially with routine procedures such as speys. The amount of animals used in this way is decreasing, and if you want more information you’d be best to talk to a current veterinary student, not a vet who’s a decade removed from the practice.

But I have to say, there is nothing quite like having your hand inside a living, breathing animal for the first time. You’ve trained and practiced on long-dead, frozen things prior to this. Now you have a ‘patient’ who’s warm. They have a pulse. They’re not gently rotting with a permeating shade of green. You can see the life in them, and it’s both wonderful and terrifying. It is most certainly humbling.

But I can’t pretend it’s a black and white ethical issue.

These animals did die in order for me to learn. They would have died anyway, but they died for us.

Practical Handling

As a vet you have to know how to hold a cat, restrain a dog, herd a cow and not get murdered by a horse. You have to know how to do a physical exam on a living patient.

The university kept ‘teaching animals’ of a variety of species. These animals were generally placid and used to being handled, and were used for teaching all sorts of basic skills from how to take a temperature to how to do a pregnancy test.

It was possible for them to get stressed, especially with lots of handling, so care had to be taken to rotate them out and give them a break. Some of these animals also doubled as blood donors.

There’s not really a substitute for a live, thinking animal when learning handling. At some point you need the real thing.

So these animals might have been stressed, and you could argue that they had the potential to suffer, but they were closely supervised and weren’t killed for our education.

I hope that has answered your question, Anon, though I’m sure there will have been other questions raised. I don’t mind discussing this at all, but like I said it was a decade since I did some of these things, and there are fresher vet students who should be listened to in this topic too. I hope everyone can remain civil towards each other in this discussion.

10

ART SCHOOL | Q&A w/ Mark Rogers (PDX)

Known for his oil paintings of extraterrestrial beings in Western backdrops, artist Mark Rogers creates quite literally some out-of-this-world artwork. Rogers’s pioneer and alien narratives started out as writings that would later evolve into his body of work, focusing on this idea that “aliens are [the] modern folklore creatures of our current time.” We’re excited to chat with this self taught artist and talk about various topics including his paintings, his sketchbook, and his sighting of a U.F.O in 2009! 

Photographs courtesy of the artist.

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Lazy tips for Tofu

Tofu gets a bad rap, and really it’s undeserved. 

Yes, tofu tastes bad when you cook it badly, but then so does just about anything else. It’s just that we’re much more conditioned to be forgiving of bad chicken, bad cheese, etc. And at least tofu is unlikely to give you food poisoning if it’s under cooked.

Yes tofu takes some prep. But then, so do a lot of other foods. You pay more for convenience foods of many kinds because some of the work is done for you. But as far as a ‘raw ingredient’ goes, tofu is cheaper than many animal products, and when you compare it to the work involved with preparing any ‘raw ingredient’ it’s really not much different.


That being said, here’s a few ways to make dealing with tofu less effort


Pressing

Pressing tofu is kind of an art - convincing the water to come out of the soy sponge without mushing it. This is an art I refuse to master. It’s up there with the art of eating gracefully, and ironing collars.

So I just freeze the tofu I buy. If I’m planning on using it in the next two days, I move it to the fridge. Somehow, some weird magical thing happens that makes recently defrosted tofu stronger, so you can basically squeeze out almost all the water in your hands without mushing it. This doesn’t work for silken tofu though - seriously. Don’t make the same mistake I did.

Another option, if you don’t care about the tofu being mushed up, is a clean tea towel, stick the tofu in there, wrap it up, and squeeze it that way.

Or don’t press it at all. This makes it less likely to absorb other flavours, but so long as you cook it enough it still tastes good.


Marinating

To be honest, I almost never bother marinating tofu for any length of time. My idea of a marinade is to throw random stuff in a bowl, then stir in some cubes of tofu. If I’m really patient, I might last a couple of hours. Usually it’s a couple of minutes.

If you want to marinate tofu to make it taste like something specific, like the ham component of a hawaiian pizza, you can make the flavours soak in a lot faster by immersing the cubes/chunks/whatever in the marinate and baking it for about ten minutes. Shallow frying with about 1cm of oil in a pot also works (avoid marinades that have a strong powder component).

Super easy marinades

  • Vinegar, Salt, Soy sauce
  • Brewers yeast (sometimes called nutritional yeast), salt, tumeric, garlic, cumin, lemon juice, oil (if you’re feeling like reaching for the spice rack)
  • Mustard, Soy sauce, Sugar, Sesame seed oil or tahini (optional, because expensive)
  • Veggie stock
  • Basically any stir fry or pasta sauce you have lying around will do


Cooking

The ways to cook tofu are pretty much endless. You can even have it raw if it works with the recipes. My favourite quick ways are;

Deep frying - It’s not really deep frying since you only need about a cm of oil in a pot. You want it to be pretty hot (but not smoking). You don’t even really need to press tofu if you’re cooking it like this, just squeeze it a bit over the sink. It’ll be crispier if you go hotter, softer if you go cooler. I often don’t flavour tofu before frying like this, I just have it with salt and maybe a little vinegar (seriously, it’s good) after. I’ve found it takes less than ten minutes to cook a bowl of nommy tofu bites. Probably not so healthy, but I’m prone to the odd treat now and then. I’ve found this also is a fast way to cook tofu that’s going to go in other things - like curries and stirfries.

Baking - If you don’t mind waiting for noms to cook (I go surf the net while I wait), you can just put whatever flavourings you want on the tofu (immersing it in veggie broth and baking is awesome too - thank you @theveganzombie), and throw it in the oven.

Shallow frying - I’ve found this takes a bit longer than I personally like, but it has its uses. If you’re frying tofu to go with other stuff, put it in first, even ahead of onions, and don’t be afraid to let it sit in the pan without being turned constantly, it’ll cook quicker if you only turn it every so often. If you want the tofu to still be crispy when you eat and you’re using a sauce, cook the tofu separately and add it at the end.


Pre-cooking

If you want nommy soy goodness straight from the fridge for sandwiches, salads, world domination, noodles, whatever, then you can make it up ahead of time, and see how long it lasts. 

I pretty much never bother to do this. The last time I made tofu bites to go on a pizza, it took all my willpower to allow even two thirds of them to actually make it to the pizza. Cooked tofu does not last long when it’s within my reach.

But if you have more self control than me it’s a good way to have teh noms on hand.


Storing

Fridge - Tofu has a long shelf life, it usually comes sealed. You can keep it in the fridge for a few days after opening so long as you immerse it in fresh water and keep it sealed. For tofu that’s been cooked, just keep it sealed.

Freezer - Unless I have reason to want the tofu soft and mushy, I tend to just freeze it, and take it out when I need it. If I need to defrost it fast I just stick it in a bowl of hot water, then add more hot water when it starts to cool. This is enough to get it to the point where I can cut it without any trouble.

WDW’s Reaction to Their S/O Having Cramps & Moodswings

A/N: idk this feels kinda specific but also I really wanted to make it so hopefully y’all enjoy! Also this is just based off my personal experiences with periods, and what’s been recalled to me through a few close friends. I know everyone goes through different things and I don’t wanna make assumptions. Love you all! -Anna

Disclaimer: Period talk ahead- just putting it out there.



♡J O N A H♡ Would be the king of caring for you (no I’m not just saying that because he’s my lane) no matter how you felt- even if you were having a perfectly fine day. 

“Are you doing ok, Princess? Do you need anything?”

“Umm, no…I’m fine babe, thanks thou-”

*opens up his actual tote bag filled with goodies because Jonah’s a mom friend i stg*

“Do you want some trail mix? I custom ordered it gluten and dairy free because I know you feel bloated after you eat gluten or dairy or I also have some Gatorade if you’re low on electrolytes or I have moist towelettes if you’re feeling overheated or-”

“Jonah…Jonah? Jonah oh my god I don’t need a- wait, is that a candy bar?”

“Umm, yeah, but that’s m-”

“Can I have the candy bar?”

“Umm, are you sure you don’t want the-”

“I want the candy bar, Jonah.”

     If you were having rough period day though, he’d actually be really empathetic, and pick up pretty easily on what would frustrate or aggravate you (basically he wouldn’t nag you with his tote bag of period goodies). He’d probably enjoy a chill day in with you, and anything that was sore or hurting he’d do his best to fix however he could- because at the end of the day there’s nothing that would upset him more than you being uncomfortable or in pain. More than likely he’d bundle you like a burrito in a heated blanket and wrap his limbs around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he softly whispered to you that everything was going to be ok, and that he loved you very much.


☆C O R B Y N☆ Would be extremely soft and caring with you in as much as he could, including your grouchy attitude. More than likely, anything you’d say he’d immediately agree with just to keep you happy, no matter what.

“You know, I think chocolate’s actually good for you. Like, it’s a plant, so it’s basically a vegetable. I’m eating a vegetable right now.” Pursing his lips together and refusing to make eye contact with you as he flipped through the channels on the T.V. he’d nod.

“Yeah, I read something about that. They’re actually considering repackaging chocolate’s everywhere to cater to the vegan community.” 

On a serious note though, he’d probably be the most interested in knowing what’s actually going on- like, he’d be on google for hours.

“Princess? How long have you been menstruating?” (would 100% call it menstruating)

“Ummm, a few hours? Why?” Excitedly, he’d pull up a very detailed diagram of a step-by-step process of what’s happening in your body.

“You’re currently shedding your endometrium!” Cringing, you’d shake your head violently as you playfully pushed him away.

“Corbyn if you say endometrium one more time I’m gonna throw up I’m not kidding.”


♧D A N I E L♧ Would be the most likely to handle it the best. He’d always be 100% prepared with a heating pad and pain killers, and would be the most likely to listen to your rants or concerns with sincerity instead of just writing it off as hormones.

*wiping away a fear stray tears*

“Sometimes I just feel like I really want a pet dragon, you know Danny?” He’d nod, letting you rest your head on his shoulder as you grew tired. Running his hands softly through your hair and laying soft kisses on your forehead, he’d reply.

“You’d be crazy not to, baby. Could you imagine how handy a pet dragon would be? You could get an old fashioned tower and store your most prized possessions there…you could fly…it’d be the perfect companion.” 

He’d also be flexible with any plans you two had made earlier, more than happy to skip the adventures and take a chill day in watching movies and having heart to heart conversations about the little things in life.


♘J A C K♘ Wouldn’t catch on right away, but once he did he’d be 100% loving and cuddly, wanting nothing more than for you to feel comfortable. That being said, he would NOT agree with you on everything the way Corbyn would. 

*watching a Purina Dog Food commercial and sobbing*

“That dog is so- *sniffle* -happy to have his- *sniffle* -food and why can’t the whole world be that happy!?” Jack would roll his eyes, not looking up from his phone as he replied.

“Because the whole world isn’t an over-payed ungrateful golden retriever who sells dog food to pay for their owner’s vacation to Bali.” Sobbing harder at this, you’d pelt countless throw pillows at his head which he was 100% not prepared for.

“Y/N WHAT THE HELL STOP! OW, THAT ONE HURT! IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU’RE CRYING OVER A DOG FOOD COMMERCIAL!”

“DAMIEN’S A YELLOW LAB, JACK! HE’S A YELLOW LAB WITH FEELINGS AND A FAMILY TOO, YOU KNOW!”

“Baby, you know I love you- but that’s a golden retriever and-” 

*immediately pelted with another throw pillow*

     In all seriousness though, Jack would probably make you laugh the most, because even though he might tease you from time to time, he really only wants to make you feel better. The two of you would spend the rest of the day cuddled up on your mountain of throw pillows watching cute baby animal compilation videos online and playfully teasing each other the way the two of you always do.


♕Z A C H♕ Ok, here’s the thing with Zach. Does he get slightly afraid of you when you get into a mood or give him the cold shoulder? Yeah. Does he understand how periods work? Not really. But let me tell you- this boy would NEVER shy away from the tampon/pads aisle. It wouldn’t bother him in the slightest. If you needed him to run to the store to get your favorite treats, some pain killers and a box of period products- he’d be on it, no questions asked. Checking out in front of other people at the store would actually fill him with a weird sense of pride and responsibility, and for that you were eternally grateful.

*on the phone in Walmart loudly*

“Yeah, I’m staring at the tampons now, what brand did you say you wanted?”

*at home giggling*

“Zach, don’t be so loud people are gonna look at you funny!”

“So, who cares? You’re my girlfriend, babe. Wait, hold on a sec, this grandma is giving me a side eye.” 

*holds phone slightly away from his ear*

“EXCUSE ME MA’AM UNLESS YOU WANNA EXPLAIN THE BASIC FUNCTIONALITY OF A DIVA CUP TO ME I SUGGEST YOU QUIT STARING!”

*to the phone*

“Alright baby, you have about 30 seconds to tell me what to buy before someone comes to kick me out of Walmart.”


Masterlist

William Nylander - Hickey

Originally posted by pavszacha

Anon: Hi, can you do a William Nylander imagine where the reader does a hickey prank on him?

A/N: this was a hell of a lot longer than I was expecting lmao. I hope you enjoy!

also, cursing/some attempted steaminess

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TRUTH OR DARE

(requested by anon/anon)

Kai Parker x Reader
word count
: 5 419
summary:  Reader and Kai both live in at the Salvatore Boarding House and he keeps playing pranks on her, specially when her friends are around, and one night after a get-together they play ‘Truth or Dare’ until somehow every turn starts involving the two of them.
*gif by me
_________________________________________

Y/N rolled on the bed and snuggled closer to her comfy pillow or at least what she thought was her pillow when suddenly the sounds of someone’s heart even heartbeat broke through her dream haze. It was a nice calming and beautiful sound she couldn’t get enough of. For a second her eyes fluttered open and closed and her lips curled into a faint smile when she felt someone’s breath on her face –

   “You know, you are so adorable when you sleep. Except you drooled all over my shirt.” he chuckled. “Can’t be mad, though. How can I when we both know you were dreaming about me.”

Instantly her eyes opened and widened so much it almost felt as if they were going to fall off. Her ‘pillow’ was actually Kai and the smug smirk on his face told her he had been in her bed again for more than a couple minutes. “What are you doing in my bed?!” she raised her voice, “Get out!” she added, pulling away from him so suddenly she fell on the floor. “Ouch –” 

   “Careful, sweetheart. We don’t want you getting bruised.” Kai laughed under his breath and crawled on the bed towards her, resting his elbows on the edge of the mattress while holding his head in his hands. “I’ll never hear the end of it from your friends.”

Y/N blew a strand of hair off her face and clenched her jaw. Ever since Kai had moved in the Salvatore house a few weeks ago this kept happening. Only it wasn’t just him not respecting her personal space boundaries. Finding him sleeping in her bed was the least worrisome thing he had done. All the weird un-explainable things that kept happening around her and more specifically to her, well that was a different story. No one could convince her that the pack with chips two days ago which expanded and expanded until it had literally blown up in her face in the middle of the living room had been an accident. Or that her wet towel catching fire had been one too.  Or that the already read pages of her book flying out into the shapes of paper planes and landing in her friends’ laps or drinks had been a trick her mind was playing on her. Or how the chair in the kitchen seemed to break just when she decided to sit on it, right after Damon had been sitting on it for hours.

   “I’m fine. THANKS FOR ASKING.” she glared at him, trying to push the blanket off her. “Stop doing that!” she tried again, somehow ending up more tangled in it until on the outside she appeared as if she was in a cocoon. “Kai!”

   “What? I am not doing anything. You should stop rolling in the covers so much.” he said innocently, watching her push the blanket off her and get up at the same time he sat on the bed. “Cute PJs. Hey, have you picked out your outfit for the party tonight? You can wear that short red skirt. You look so goo—"

Y/N tossed her blanket over his head, wound her arms around him and started pushing him towards the door when in a flash he pushed off the blanket and pinned her to the wall near by the door. His hands braced on either side of her head caging her in and he hummed for a second, listening to her heart trying to leap out of her chest.

   “Why are you always so hostile towards me?” he asked.

   “Seriously?! Ever since you’ve moved in you’ve been doing your best to ruin my life and am hostile?!!” she snapped. “What? Do you like me or something cuz you know what they say – when a boy is mean to a girl, it really means he likes her. And if you do just s—”

Kai took a step back, nervously laughing under his breath.  “Me? Like you? You are hilarious.” he said, rubbing his nose. “You um you should get ready for the party. I know girls take forever –”

Y/N took a step towards him, trying to reach him when he whooshed himself out of the room. Her lips curled into a small smile. Kai running away from a conversation? That never happened which made her wonder if she had guessed correct She glanced out the hallway in both directions and closed the door, heading towards her closet. A smile spread across her face seeing the same skirt Kai had mentioned right on top. Quickly she pulled it out along with her black tights, a black tight tee with kitten features on the front, grabbed her black sweater and got dressed, did her hair (pushing it back with bobby pins) before heading downstairs for breakfast where Kai was already waiting for her along with her friends. Something about his eyes changed when he saw her outfit but he didn’t say a word. Instead he pulled out his phone. Kai and social media. she smiled to herself. Ever since he had discovered the internet his phone had become an extension of his hand and there was barely any site he didn’t have a profile in. Though she had no idea what he was doing online all the time.

   “So, how’s the party planning going.” she wondered, turning towards Caroline who got up with a notepad in her hands. Y/N lifted herself on her toes reaching for a bowl at the top shelf and almost slipped up on the floor before her friend caught her. “Thanks.”

   “Yeah.” smiled Caroline. “Well, I made a list. Chips, alcohol… your favorite gummy eyeballs with the liquor filling –”

Kai snorted and everyone glanced at him for a second. Everyone but Y/N who was busy getting out every flavor of ice cream there was in the freezer to make herself an ice cream sundae for breakfast while Caroline explained to her how it was her responsibility to get the bourbon crates from the storage room at the Grill. Weirdly no one had entrusted Kai anything, though he didn’t seem to complain much. His attention was focused on something on his phone screen which was good because whenever he was busy, ‘accidents’ didn’t seem to happen to her.

   “Got it, Care.” smiled Y/N, scooping out a ball from all five ice cream boxes on the counter in front of her – vanilla, chocolate, mint-chocolate chip, rocky road and cookie dough, creating not food but art in her bowl. “Anything else?”

   “Nope.” said her friend, adding a scribble on the notepad before grabbing a spoon and taking a spoonful from one of the ice creams. “God, I love this stuff. Okay, Damon –” she took a step towards the rest of their friends continuing with the chores list for the party.

Kai smiled at something on his screen and put his phone back in his pocket, keeping out of Caroline’s way without taking his eyes off Y/N for a second. She hadn’t even realized he had been taking pictures of her this entire time. That’s how focused she had been on making her perfect sundae and it was perfect – the colors and everything.

   Don’t you think that’s a bit too much ice cream?” asked Kai, bracing his hands on the kitchen counter while she sprinkled nuts on top of her creation before returning all the ice cream back in the freezer. Y/N glared at him for a second. “I am just saying – you are human and that much sugar is not good for you. Should you even be eating this? I thought you were a vegan.”

   “I’m fine. Thanks.” she grabbed the whipped cream, “And if you must know – I am vegetarian three days of the week the other four I am a vegan.” she opened the lid moving her wrist in circles while the whipped cream started to pile up on top of the ice cream when all of the sudden the container popped up and splashed her and partially some of the friends sitting on the table. Everyone but Kai who had miraculously skipped the blast.

   “You think you are funny. Don’t you?” she turned towards him, wiping away the whipped cream from her face.

   “I have no idea what you are talking about.” he grabbed a cherry from the counter.

   “Really?”

   “Yeah. It’s not my fault you are such an accident magnet.” he pointed out, passing her a towel to clean up. “Would it hurt you to be a little more careful? I mean, what if you slip up on the wet floor and none of us is there to heal you?”

   “Weird how none of those things had ever happened to me in my entire life until you showed up.” she grabbed the towel from his hands, glancing at him. There it was again. That smug smirk which never seemed to leave his face. For a moment she reconsidered wiping her face with the towel he had given her. What if the towel caught on fire and she burned her face or something? No. He wouldn’t go that far, would he?

   “Lighten up.” said Kai, ruffling her hair. “Miss grumpy pants won’t be any fun at the party.”

   “S-sorry what?” she asked. “Grumpy pants? That’s the best you can come up with??”

   “Well, you’ve been a total buzz kill since I moved in here. Always with that frown not turned upside down. It’s annoying really.” he grabbed another cherry. “Just ask your friends.”

   “Oh no, no.” muttered Damon. “We are not getting stuck in the middle of whatever this is–”

   “Jeez Damon. Thanks.” said Y/N pouring every last drop of sarcasm she could into her words. “My hero.”

   “Any time.” smirked the vampire and Y/N threw the towel at him. A towel which mid-air somehow caught fire. “Hey !!”

Y/N stared at him and then glanced at Kai, only this time trying to suppress a smile before she grabbed two spoons from the counter and passed one to her heretic friend. “Here. See? I’m nice… not hostile. Unlike you.”

   “You are going to share your masterpiece of a sundae with me? But you never share…” he asked a little surprised, passing her a box with wipes. “Why? What’s the catch?”

   “Just dig in before I change my mind.” she rolled her eyes, watching him take a large spoonful from the chocolate side. Y/N laughed under her breath for a second and took a scooped up some of the minty-chocolate chip ball. For a while they just sat there, elbows on the counter eating ice cream while watching Caroline continue to assign chores to everyone. A small get together always got turned into a large party with her, but no one dared arguing. Kai kept ‘accidentally’ poking Y/N with his elbow every once in a while, until most of the ice cream was gone. “I should get going and go get the bourbon. I got dibs on a crate, by the way.”

   “I’m coming with you.” said Kai, taking a step after her as she headed towards the door.

   “No.” she stopped abruptly, turning towards him. “I don’t want –”

   “—the car to crash?” he finished. “Yeah, that’s why I am coming with you. To keep you safe from yourself.”

   “Hilarious.” muttered Y/N. “You are not coming.”

   “Yes, I am.”

   “No. You are not.”

   “Yes, I am –”

   “Malachai fucking Parker!”

Y/N took a few steps towards him until their bodies almost pressed together. She could feel everyone’s eyes on them but all she could see were Kai’s who was starring so intensely into her eyes it was driving her insane. How was this possible?! And the way he pursued his lips in that moment, how his hands were hovering around her body – No. She was starting to lose her mind because of him. Why was her heart doing all those weird flips and why did she found herself wanting to kiss him… just like every time they found themselves in that position.

   “Wow the tension between those two.” muttered Damon to Stefan. “Who’s gonna tell them?”

   “Uuurgghh !!” she groaned in frustration. “Fine. But I am driving –”

   “I am a much better driver –”

   “—or you are walking. Your choice.”

   “Fine.” caved in the heretic. “You are driving. But if you crash the car and you die, it’s not my fault.”
_________________________________________  

Most of the night Y/N sat in one of the corners holding a box with her favourite liquor filled gummy eyeballs keeping an eye on Kai who was sitting not too far away from her not taking his eyes off her for a second while all her friends had fun – dancing and drinking ‘the good’ stuff. Despite spending most of the evening with a drink in her hand, she was not as half-drunk as she should’ve been… but around her third glass with bourbon things started to get a little fuzzy and she decided to lay down on the sofa at which point Kai somehow decided to sit on the opposite end.

   “You’ve been starring at me all night. Its creepy.” pointed out Y/N, finishing her glass.

Kai lightly tilted his head to the side and rolled his eyes. “No, I haven’t. Can you not be so full of yourself?!”

   “Full of myself?!” she leaned towards him. “Ever since you sat there like 15 minutes ago, you haven’t even blinked. And before that – it was the exact same thing.”

   “I have no clue what you are talking about.“ he finished his forth or fifth glass with bourbon. “I was looking at that um … that painting over there.”

Y/N turned around knowing fully well there was no painting behind her. “Liar. You know I bet you can’t tell the truth if your life depended on it.”

   “Are you challenging me?” he leaned in towards her. “Because if so –”

   “Hey what are you two doing?” asked Caroline.

 Y/N’s lips curled into a smile. There were more than a few questions she wanted to ask him and this time he wouldn’t be able to walk away from the conversation.  “We were just about to play truth or dare.” she said without taking her eyes off Kai. “Wanna join us?”

   “Oh yeah.“ grinned Damon, gulping the rest of the amber colored liquid in the bottle in his hands at once. “There. Hey, Stef. Elena. Come join us for a game. And where are Enzo and Bonnie?” he turned towards Matt who shrugged his shoulders. “Ahh there you are. Come on, we are playing truth or dare.”

Enzo and Bonnie glanced at each other then stared suspiciously at their friends gathering on the floor around the bottle. Bonnie sat as far away from Kai as possible while Y/N snuggled closer to Stefan, at the opposite end of where Kai was sitting. Matt sat between Kai and Damon while Elena took the spot on the other side of her boyfriend right next to Y/N.

   “Who goes first?” asked Enzo.

   “Well, since it was Y/N’s idea –” started Damon. “I think it should be her.”

Y/N spun the bottle ending up asking Stefan ‘truth or dare’ and they all went around asking each other questions and playing dares, most of which were pretty silly and then it came Kai’s turn. He spun the bottle which ended up pointing at Y/N.

   “Y/N –” smirked Kai, “Truth or dare?”

   “Truth.”

   “Oh-kay. Let’s see—” he thought for a moment. “What is your biggest dream for your future?”

   “To leave this town and go to see the world. Try the food in every country, absorb some of the culture… and maybe, I don’t know… Have someone to go with me. Cuz experiencing it alone won’t be any fun.” she reached for the bottle while Kai’s lips curled into a small smile. A split second later the bottle pointed towards him. “That seems fair… Truth or dare?”

   “Dare.”

Kai watched her make that ‘thinking’ face he loved so much – when she lightly squeezed shut her eyes, her lips curled from side to side for a couple moments. It was almost as if he could see the wheels in her brain turning while she tried to come up with something. He was pretty sure he’d do anything she asks him to – jump off a cliff, snap someone’s neck, get along with her friends (he was sure he’d at least try). All those thoughts, the way being around her made him feel was driving him insane. Yet he couldn’t get enough. Y/N had pulled him into her gravity and there was no way for him to break free now. Or ever, not that he wanted to.

  “I dare you… to punch Damon.”

   “My pleasure.” grinned Kai.

Damon glared at Y/N. “This is because of what happened this morning, isn’t it? Because I decided not to take a side –” he said and a moment later Kai’s fist connected with his face breaking his jaw. “Ouchh…”

Kai laughed under his breath watching Y/N trying hard not to do the same and spun the bottle, pointing at Bonnie, who moved her finger slightly until the bottle pointed at Caroline instead. No one seemed to notice and if they did, they didn’t seem to care about it. “Truth or dare?”

  “Truth.”

  “What would you do if Klaus comes back for you?”

Caroline glanced at Stefan, taking his hand in hers. “Nothing.” she replied, spinning the bottle. “I still hate his guts.” Everyone either laughed or chuckled, and then the bottle stopped pointing at Y/N. “Truth or dare?”

  “Truth.”

  “What do you see in him?” asked Caroline, not saying specifically who though by the looks of it Y/N knew exactly who her friend was talking about.

  “Who?” wondered Kai, but no one answered him.

  “There is a lot more than meets the eye, Care. Though I can’t stand being around him sometimes. He is just so… annoyingly perfect it hurts.”

Kai glanced between Y/N and her friends and asked again ‘Who?’ though no one seemed to pay him any attention. Y/N reached for the bottle and spun it, ending up pointing at him. Damon reached for a bottle with bourbon in a crate nearby and opened it, taking a sip directly from it. “Truth or dare?” she asked.

  “Um… truth?”

Y/N smiled at him mischievously. “Why do you keep playing pranks on me all the time?”

Kai laughed under his breath. “Who says I am?”

  “Don’t answer a question with a question.” said Y/N, leaning in towards him. “Why?”

  “Cuz –” he sighed. “It’s fun and unlike your friends, you won’t punch me. Plus, it gives me an excuse to get your attention.” he spun the bottle, ending up pointing at her. He looked up at her and smirked. “Who did Candice just asked you about?”

  “None of your fucking business.” snapped Y/N, reaching for the bottle when Kai grabbed her hand stopping her. “You.” she said so quietly if he wasn’t a vampire he would’ve missed it. His lips curled into a small smile and he watched her spin the bottle. “Again?! Okay… Did you purposefully move in into the bedroom right next to mine?”

  “No. Damon put me there so I am as far away from him and Bonnie as possible.” said Kai, spinning the bottle. “Though I like being that close to you…” he muttered and the bottle pointed at Y/N again. He glanced at her friends looked more amused than ever – Damon looked the most amused of all, and asked the question. “Truth or dare, Y/N?”

  “Truth.”

   “How many boyfriends have you had?”

  “Um … serious ones?” she asked, refusing to meet his eyes when she reached to spin the bottle again. “The answer would be zero, other ways there were two but I am not sure what they were really.”

   “Jerks.” said Elena, putting her arm around Y/N while the bottle miraculously ended up pointing towards Kai again and his lips curled into a smile. “They were jerks… who will get whats coming for them.”

Y/N turned towards her friend and laughed for a second, glancing at Kai. “Truth or dare?”

   “Dare.” he rubbed his palms together. “Make it a good one, Y/N. Who do I get to punch? Steven? Can I punch Damon again?”

   “No.” she laughed. “No more punching. Stay here. I’ll be back in a minute.” she got up, turning towards her friends. “Don’t hurt or torture him, okay… that’s my job.”

Kai watched her tiptoe her way out, her short skirt dancing around her hips and couldn’t help but wonder what her words meant in that moment. That’s her job? What could she have in store for him? It wouldn’t be a payback for all the things he had done to her. No, that wasn’t her. He closed his eyes, listening in to what she was doing but as much as he tried to figure it out there just wasn’t a way for him to figure it out. Then suddenly he felt someone blindfold him. A part of him started to panic but he recognized her touch instantly, even though her fingers so slightly touched his face and his heart rate jumped up instantly.

   “Oh-kay.” she sat on the ground next to him, glancing at her friends. “I dare you to try whatever it is that I’ve mixed in that bowl I am holding which you cannot see. Now, open those lips – and don’t scream.”

Kai did as she said, listening to her heartbeat and all her friends trying not to laugh. Then something sweet with a very familiar chocolatey taste hit his taste buds. A few seconds passed and as he swallowed it hit him what she had given him. Almost instantly he jumped back but she grabbed his wrist stopping him. He pushed off the blindfold and glanced at what was in the bowl or more like the mug – Y/N scooped some of the mixture getting a taste herself. Her lips curled into a smile at his shocked expression and he tried to pull away from her again.

   “Was that –”

   “A vegan mug brownie?” she said a little amused. “Yeah, see… it’s not that bad.”

   “Are you kidding?!” he raised his voice a little. “That was … give me that mug. Why didn’t you tell me it tastes that good?!”

   “I did tell you, but you wouldn’t listen to me.” she pulled away, gathering the last that was left inside the mug before he had the chance to take it away from her. “What are you waiting for? Spin the bottle… it’s like 3AM. I need my beauty sleep.”

Kai laughed under his breath and spun the bottle. A few seconds later, much to Y/N’s shock and to her friends’ amusement the bottle pointed at her again. “Truth or dare?”

  “Truth.” she licked some chocolate off her fingers.

  “What did you mean just now by ‘that’s my job’?” he leaned a little towards her.

Y/N ran her fingers through her hair. “Why does that have to mean something? Sometimes I just say stuff… to throw you off.” she winked at him and spun the bottle which somehow ended up pointing at Kai again. Something told her that was no coincidence. “Truth or dare?”

Kai moved a little closer to her. “Truth.”

  “When was the last time you used magic?” she asked, studying his face as he took the bottle and spun it while answering her question.

  “Not long ago at all.” he winked at her, watching her gaze drift from his eyes to the bottle… pointing at her again. “Truth or dare.”

  “T-truth…” she reached for Damon’s bourbon bottle. Her friends groaned and Kai rolled his eyes at her answer. Truth to be told she kept saying truth because a part of her was scared what he’d dare her to do.

  “Have you ever been in love?” he questioned.

Y/N shifted on her spot and took two large sips from the bottle, almost finishing it before Damon snatched the bottle from her. “Once.” she spun the bottle which ended up pointed at Kai again. Bonnie got up, heading over to Damon’s fancy alcohol table while Matt looked like he was semi-asleep. Caroline and Stefan payed no attention whatsoever to anyone else but each other, same as Damon and Elena. Enzo got up after Bonnie and both of them slipped away somewhere. “Truth or dare?”

  “Dare.” 

  “I dare you to… take out your phone, take a selfie and send it to your crush.” she studied his face.

Kai smiled at her and took a selfie then quickly typed something and hit sent. Her phone lit up on the sofa a few steps away and she glanced at him and then at her phone feeling her cheeks starting to get rosy. He spun the bottle without taking his eyes off her the entire time while she tried hard not to jump up towards the couch and grab her phone. Then, no surprise at all, the bottle pointed at her again.

  “Truth or dare?“ he smirked at her, hoping she’d stick to her pattern of saying ‘truth’ because he needed to know who owned her heart.

  “Truth…”

  “Who?“ he asked, listening to her heartbeat. “W-with who were you or are you in love with?”

Y/N glanced at Caroline for a split second then around the room feeling the walls start to close in a little on her. It had always been this way whenever someone asked her that question or a similar question to it. And now that he had asked her… Her eyes closed for a second and she took a shallow breath. “I c-can’t tell you h-his name but –“ she looked into his eyes. ”– he has the most beautiful ocean blue eyes. So blue I just want to dive into them, drown and die.“ she reached for the bottle and spun it again. No surprise when it pointed at Kai but before she had asked he already told her ‘Truth.’ to which she was more than glad. “Have you ever been in love?”

Kai spun the bottle. “M-maybe.“ he looked into her eyes. “I don’t really know what love feels like… but I want to find out.” he added when the bottle ended up pointing at her again.

  “Are you kidding me?” she muttered, glancing at her friends who seemed more amused than ever. “Damon, we need another bottle. That one is defective. Gimme that –” she reached for the bottle in his hands but he pulled it away from her.

  “Awwh is someone afraid to answer my questions or do my dares.” teased Kai. “Hey so, how many times can a player say ‘truth’ before there is a ‘dare’ penalty?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Dare. But I swear if you –”

  “I dare you to kiss me until it’s your tu–”

  “—truth!” she almost shouted, covering Kai’s mouth with her hand. “Truth! Truth!”

Kai pushed her wrist off his mouth, a devilish spark flashing in his eyes. “What’s wrong sweetheart? Are you afraid you might not be able to control yourself once your lips pucker towards mine and –”

  “And I am the one who’s full of myself.” she retorted. “I am not kissing you.” she turned towards her friends. “I’m not. No. No way.”

  “You don’t have a choice. You chose ‘dare’.” he pulled her onto his lap, and reached for the bottle to spin it. “Just one second until I rock your world.”

‘Help me.’ she mouthed turning towards Damon who raised his eyebrows suggestively and took a large sip from his bottle.

A second later the bottle stopped pointing at Elena. Though Kai didn’t seem to notice at all, his gaze was fixed on Y/N’s and as much as she tried to deny it every single person in the room with supernatural hearing could hear her heart racing in her chest. There was something that felt too right… being in Kai’s arms and the entire feeling was starting to consume her. It wasn’t helping much how his fingertips were touching her bare skin at the moment quite literally sending waves of electricity through her body. There was no doubt in her mind her cheeks were getting redder by the second.

  “Dare.” said Elena.

  “Right…” muttered Kai. “Um, I dare you to um pretend to be Katherine for 5 minutes.”

As soon as Kai spoke his dare, he pulled Y/N towards him and their lips collided for the first time. At first it was a slow kiss, her hands still placed on his chest but the second their lips touched it was as if a switch went off in her brain. His hands moved up her spine to the back of her bead pulling her lips towards his. As if from a distance she could hear her friends talking and continuing to play the game but the longer she kissed Kai the more their voices dissolved and it seemed the world was falling away. Maybe it was because of how long they kissed, how their lips moved hungrily against each other craving more still. Or because of how good having him this close to her actually felt.

   “Boo!” called out Damon after who knows how long. Five or maybe ten minutes? Y/N wasn’t sure… only thing she knew was she couldn’t breath and she demanded mouth to mouth which Kai seemed more than happy to give her. “Get a room you two.”

Y/N pulled away from Kai, both of them gazing into each other’s eyes for a moment and then she slapped him. Almost instantly she got up, turning towards her friends who looked more amused than ever. “Well, I’m going to bed. Night everyone.” she said, then grabbed her phone and spun on her heels as if nothing had happened.

   “Ouchh –” muttered Kai, rubbing his cheek and called out after her. “What was that for?!” he glanced between all her friends and ran after her.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t been slapped before but it had never happened after what had happened between them a few short moments ago. Her heart had beaten so fast while they were kissing he was almost 100% sure she was enjoying what they were doing as much as him. He took the stairs two at a time and no matter how many times he called out her name she kept walking until he whooshed himself to her and quickly he pinned her against the wall, braced his hand next to her head and titled her chin up forcing her to look at him. He tried to figure out what she was thinking but her expression was unreadable, though her cheeks were redder than he had ever seen them and her eyes sparkled like never before.

   “Y/N, I … I’m sorry if I overstepped downstairs. I just… I don’t know what happened. Just having you in my arms, feeling your lips on mine… Something inside me just snapped. I just… I couldn’t get enough or control myself. Not when you were finally in my arms the way I w-wanted.” He gazed into her eyes, waiting for her to say something. Anything, but all she did was gaze back into his eyes. Every second she didn’t say anything felt more painful than dying and coming back to life in the Prison World has ever had. “Say something. Please.”

Y/N bit the inside of her cheek trying hard not to smile.Every time her eyes her eyes closed she could see her phone screen and what Kai had written to her. It hadn’t been anything that much… just a few heart/heart eyes emojis but it had been enough for her heart to do a flip like never before.   “Are you going to stand there, talking and looking all sexy as hell or are you going to kiss me again?” she asked. In the span of a second, Kai grinned scooped her up making her legs hitch around his waist and her lips curled into a smile. “I knew it –”

   “Knew what?”

   “You do like me!”

   “Shut up.”

   “Make me.” she said.

   “Don’t test me.“

Y/N giggled for a second, stumbling a little. “Bite me.”

Kai smirked at her listening on their roomies make their way upstairs. A split second later he whooshed them into his bedroom and tossed her onto his bed, locking the door with magic.

   “Now–” he crawled over her.“ –where were we?”
_________________________________________ 
MASTERLIST - SMUT 
MASTERLIST - FLUFF

Rant About Stuff I Care About + How My Beliefs Have Changed

I’m now basically just as frustrated with the gender critical/radical feminist community as I often am with the vegan community (of which I am a member), because both really suck at effective activism and don’t seem to care.

You know what is one of the worst forms of activism you can do for veganism is? Calling meat eaters murders while chanting “meat is murder” at them. You know what’s another? Lying to them about nutrition or ethics or anything else related to veganism.

You know what is one of the worst ways to advocate for gender abolition? Let me list some:

  • Going out of your way to misgender every trans person you hear of 
  • Using slurs against them
  • Calling them “mentally ill” in a derogatory way to paint them as untrustworthy or insane, etc
  • Lying about the pros and cons of transition by going completely against what current medical research says in favor of your own ideology 
  • Lying about all medical research in general while pretending to be the expert on it and handing out medical advice to trans people
  • Calling trans men “fujoshis” and trans women default predators or rapists 
  • Making fun of how they look or calling their bodies mutilated or deformed
  • Calling non-binary people “special snowflakes” as if you don’t sound like an anti-sjw MRA who has no idea what fight club was about 
  • Coming up with any acronym under the sun (FtT, MtT, TIMs, etc) just for the purpose of disparaging trans people
  • Finding terms like “autogynephiles” and using them in everyday language just for the purpose of disparaging trans people
  • The list goes on

All this shit just makes us look like assholes, just like vegans who protest steakhouses on their busiest nights asking why the patrons aren’t eating dog meat makes vegans look like weird douchebags (and yes, this does happen).

I have been a part of rad fem and gender crit circles for a very long time, and it seems like a lot of people don’t even care about activism and only care about being assholes. This isn’t all gender critical people or radical feminists, obviously, but it really seems like the community has lost sight of what they claim to care about in favor of doubling down on making trans people feel like shit for no reason. As if that helps the cause at all.

Activism is NOT about you being right and everyone else being wrong and you loudly proclaiming that to the world. That’s ego and nothing else. Activism is about opening up effective means of communication, it’s about education on BOTH sides and willingness to learn and be wrong sometimes, it’s about knowing how to advocate for your side effectively and in a way that not only reaches people but doesn’t turn them away the minute you start talking. Effective activism brings more people in than it turns away. It works with the way people are and the way they think, not the way you wish they worked or how you wished they thought.

And if you care about gender abolition but don’t care if your method of activism for it is effective at all…then why are you advocating for it at all? Do you think we’re just going to get there eventually and that effort and arguing effectively doesn’t matter at all? Is that how you think social change really works? I truly don’t understand the people who put so much effort into their ideology and yet refuse to consider whether their activism is helping or hurting the cause. Hint: if you’re turning away 10 people for every 2 people you convince, that’s shitty activism.

And that’s my biggest frustration right now with this community. We could be doing so much better than we are and yet we’re too stubborn to change at all if it meant we could be doing better. There are many trans people who are gender abolitionists themselves, and yet instead of allying with them we belittle and mock their existence, therefore turning them away as well as all of their allies, and for what reason?

So, to the anon that keeps popping up in my anons asking for specifics about how my beliefs have changed: they’ve changed enough that I no longer identify as gender critical or with the radical feminist movement at large. I am still anti cotton ceiling and pro sensible gender abolition, but I care more about trying to ally with people than I do about driving people away. I can’t personally be comfortable anymore calling myself a member of these communities. I want to distance myself from this behavior because I am so sick of it. What do I care if someone’s chromosomes don’t perfectly align with how they feel about themselves or how they want to be seen in society? I can still address them how they’d like to be addressed and respect them in who they are. I don’t have to go out of my way to police the language they use for themselves or do something to trigger their dysphoria. And anyone who says that these things are required for gender abolition can come into my inbox and personally explain to me why.

If you’re a rad fem who doesn’t do any of the things I talked about above, I don’t have beef with you. I’m not saying its wrong to be a radical feminist at all, but if you are going to call yourself one then I hope you care about actually making a difference and not just hurting people’s feelings. /rant

Wooden Stakes Don’t Work On Werewolves

Elias/OC: You’re highly aware of Elias’s weird habits, but don’t think too much about it. Until, that is, a Halloween party he comes to dressed as a werewolf. It’s there you decide to test him, just a little bit, and learn something new along the way. Fluff. (Shoutout to @fandommofia for sending me the fake fic title and inspired this idea)

OKAY I KNOW THIS IS WEIRD BUT I LOWKEY HIGHKEY LIKE IT IDC IDC IDC

Tagging my bbies: @lavitabella87 @everybodyfinnfreeze @shadow-of-wonder @laochbaineann @she-reigns-in-this-yard @sarrahcha @twiistedbliiss @niazha16 @happelu970 @officialbroski10-blog @crowleysqueenofhell @lilmisscrisis @antigonemaia @imnoaingeal @littledeadrottinghood @imagineall-the-fandoms @macfizzle @welshwitch5 @wrasslesmut @actualamyautopsy @blondekel77 @valeonmars @squirrel666 @livingthestrongstyle @damnbuvky @dmm-wts @caramara3 @abbie03d @roserae527 @superrezzy00 @that-lolachick @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues @heelturn-timesten @theprestigious0ne @georgiadean37 @taryndibiase @kanupps06 @ringsidexdreaming @rolivia-fin @ambrosegirlforever @bodhi-black @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @hardyacarrest @im-indestructible @artemisapalla316 @1dluver13xx @balorclubbabe @wrestling-whoa @justtrey19 @heeltothequeen @wwesmoot @browneyedgirlzombie @jerichoinventedthisaccount @meaganottiz02 @thedescentintoinsanity @kingslayers-angel @shieldsandbulletsandflips

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ID #15693

Name: Remy
Age: 26
Country: France

My name is Remy and I currently live in France. I’ve been moving around a lot over the past few years (Wales, England, Ireland…) and decided to settle there for now, following a business opportunity. So here I am, living in a liminal space between countryside and city, enjoying the wild flowers and the bookstores.
I used to have penpals when I was in middle school and high school but those correspondences slowly faded away to disappear when I got to uni. Such a shame for I loved to take the time to share thoughts and news, pick nice stationery and give an artsy vibe to envelops. Recently, I came across an old stack of letters from that period and it got me really nostalgic of the time when my mailbox was filled with letters so I decided to get back to writing again.
I have a weird, eclectic set of interests and hobbies and hopefully I’ll find someone to share them with.

I read a lot of crime/mystery novels as well as anything on history or with a paranormal something to it and not necessarily recent or trendy. I also tend to re-read old favourites a lot, including but not limited to : Arthur Conan Doyle, Agatha Christie, Preston & Child, Bram Stocker, Edgar Allan Poe and Susan Hill. Romance and girly stories are not my cup of tea but I do appreciate non-fiction very much; anthropology, religions and occult books being my read of choice.

When it comes to TV series and movies, I don’t watch much and most of what I do watch are « old lady crime series » and horror movies. I don’t consider myself to have good taste in those area and to be honest, I don’t really like the trendier things on telly nowadays (I am deeply sorry to say that I do not find Game of Thrones entertaining for instance).

Music-wise, I listen mainly to 20s jazz, folk and world music and random tracks here and there. If I love music, I’m absolutely no expert and just listen to what suits my mood that day.

I do love cooking a lot. I have been a vegetarian for many years now and really enjoy coming up with recipes, experimenting with whatever is in season and sometimes try out vegan dishes. Sourcing properly what I cook is very important to me and I tend to go toward fair-trade/organic/locally made products that I can have fun cooking from scratch.

I adore thrift shopping and vintage everything, from clothes and jewellery to china, I think buying second hand is a great way to lower my carbon footprint as well. I often wander around flea markets and garage sales, looking for old jewellery, pieces of garment, nice fabrics, books and teacups to be filled with my favourite blend of Lapsang souchong.

I also press flowers, collect tarot decks, go hiking every now and then, enjoy stargazing and I am (very much) a cat person (I am currently owned by a lovely 15yo grumpy kitty, glaring at me for typing when I should be scratching his head).

What am I looking for in terms of exchanges ? Well, anything really. I’d love to share recipes and exchange flower seeds, discuss the little daily things or more profound reflections. I remember enjoying meeting new people through their letters very much as a kid and I hope I’ll get to experience that again.

Preferences: I am exclusively looking for someone to exchange snail mail with. I love to take the time to write a letter with pen and paper (or a typewriter) and go to the post office to send it. I know people find email very handy because of the instantness and I do too, love to have them at work but to me they lack the magic of a proper letter. Other than that, maybe someone close to my age or older (25+) as I have what many people qualify as « old lady’s interests ». Gender and country do not matter to me as I believe they are not the most relevant when it comes to someone’s character.

BTS Supermarket! AU

Jin // Assistant Store Manager

Jin was simply used to cleaning up mistakes. On top of running the stocking part of the store, he was the head of the grocers as well. His favorite past time happened to be the on the hour dot rule he enforced that someone had to tell a joke over the loudspeaker. If they didn’t, he would and his Dad jokes happened to be the worst. He picked one a day to just repeat over and over to everyone in his presence, even going as far to post it on snapchat and instagram as well.

Despite that, he was very good at his job. He had a way with customers and was very good when it came to stocking and such. He was even better at the worst part of his job, which was keeping his manager Namjoon away from grocery.

Yoongi \ Deli Manager

Deli was easily the most rambunctious department in Bangtan By Nature… Easily. They were always loud and full of fun. On top of the love they all had for each other, they were the most hardworking department and on top of that, the busiest. Yoongi really had his hands full at all times with constant calls, packing food, cooking food, preparing food, and just dealing with annoying customers. The department was simply full of inside jokes.

Min Yoongi was hardworking and dedicated to his job, despite the amount of bullshit he was dealing with in his personal life at the moment. His high school sweetheart turned wife had cheated on him, leaving him alone with their two sons and the ever lovable Min Holly. He was handling it well and being one of the most loved and talkative people at his store, nobody had a clue what was going on beyond the scenes.

Hoseok // Nutrition & Floral Manager

The floral arrangements Hoseok made were the most talked about in the store, along with the weird products he would order for his department. The makeup he’d order was really the zinger. It was some weird healthy makeup and none of the managers believed it, but the customers ate it up. His favorite products had to be the hair dye. He doubted it truly worked, but he got such great reviews from them.

He was the light of the store when it came down to it. Everyone loved to be in his presence and have a conversation with him. He was even used as a cashier and sadly it pulled him away from his department a good amount of the time. He loved what he did and could spend hours arranging his flowers to the perfect specimen. Hoseok was their sunshine.

Namjoon \ Store Manager

When you’re a manager at a supermarket, you’re supposed to help wherever you can. If you don’t have paperwork or meetings, you help if a department is super busy, but normally you work in grocery. Stocking, checking dates, and even helping customers.
Then there was Kim Namjoon. The God of Destruction. They wouldn’t even let him near anything that could crumble or break. His assistant manager always tried to keep him insanely busy with meetings to avoid the mess that followed in Namjoon’s wake. He was an excellent manager, but other than that? That was the issue. There were always constant calls on the loudspeaker just trying to keep him away from the aisles and all of his subordinates were in on it except for him. They’d never let him know.

Jimin \ Bookkeeper

Putting the shyest boy in the world in charge of customer service was possibly a mistake. Jimin was sweet but anytime someone complained (Which they normally did) he’d lock up and get super awkward. They lost a lot of money that way. On the subject of money, he was very good with it. His change was always correct and his draw was never off. For some reason though, he always came across as an asshole. It was the joke of the store.

His resting bitch face could easily be translated into an angry guy, but he was as harmless as he was cute. The bookkeeping office was as cute as him. It was fully decorated and full of his duplicates of anime figures (Mostly One Piece). He called it his second home, so he made it seem like it as well. Nobody dared to question his collection, as the answer may terrify them.

Taehyung \ Bakery Manager

The bakery department made a look of food. Bread, sweets, bagels, and muffins… They were all in the repertoire. Taehyung was an excellent chef when it came to that. Sadly, the sales weren’t too great in his cute little department. They kept reducing the size and the best business plan would be to probably shut down the department as a whole. Except, they could never do that to lil Tae. So they never told him how shitty the sales were when it wasn’t a holiday. All of the excess food was just donated to the homeless and such.

He was always so caught up in his work that people thought he came across as rude and mean. All of the people that worked in his department may even call him a bit weird, but most of the time he was just a plain old goofball, even without getting to know him. Taehyung always found himself experimenting with new recipes after getting bored with the same old cakes and cookies.

Jungkook \ Produce Manager

Nobody can truly say that they had a passion for fruits and vegetables. It’d be seen as a little weird, but here he was. Jeon Jungkook, the produce man. He didn’t have the burning fire and he actually didn’t like it too much, but he dealt because of his love for the people he worked with. All he truly did was stock fruit and give other people their product. His insane memory was truly put to work when people came up with the most ridiculous questions you could ask about fruits and vegetables. His favorite was when people would ask if they were vegan. Absolute favorite.

His true abilities came out when it came down to his favorite thing to do at work- prank everyone. Especially Yoongi, his favorite victim for some odd reason. Even though the deli man terrified the daylights out of him. There was always a prank war going on around the store and Jungkook was always leading the charge.

I cannot express my joy when I discovered that this book was real…and that it was also free to purchase as an e-copy through amazon (it’s like under 100 pages so it’s a quick read). However, that joy was short lived when I actually began to read this book. Maybe it’s because of my lifestyle of memes, puns and general shit-post humour but I was expecting a book with copious amounts of chicken puns, knights wearing KFC buckets as helmets and well…a lot more steamy romance between our darling Harland Sanders and Madeline.

I feel as a long time Colonel Sanders and KFC fan I have a duty to make this story cringe worthy and yet oddly satisfying to those readers who are just like me. So grab a delicious, crispy chicken wing, ignore my spelling mistakes, general crappy grammar and enjoy. And to cover my own ass, all these characters belong to KFC and I mean no offence to anyone. Also I apologies because this got way out of hand and there’s a lot of dirty insinuations involved. Take a bible with you. Also I didn’t read this over because I’m terrified of having these thoughts in my head again. (GOODREADS REVIEW LINK:https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1996014517?type=review#rating_117050525)

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AVALANCHE food headcanons

Barret likes the greasy food. His favorite meal would be huge burger, french fries and some beer. He was one of the most annoyed AVALANCHE members when Cloud would just shrug while Barret was ordering pizza. He didn’t like it when Tifa started to push her cooking down his throat. At first. Soon he realized how much Tifa’s cooking reminded him of his deceased wife’s, Myrna. Because of Myrna’s sickness, she always cooked the healthiest meals, and although Tifa’s didn’t taste the same, it tasted like home. He had a hard time teaching Marlene to eat healthy while he wouldn’t, but Tifa’s presence really helped him out. 

Tifa was very picky as a child. That wasn’t something that bothered her father all too much because it was a strong trait shared with her deceased mother. Zangan, on the other hand, would get really angry. “How do you want to be a great warrior if you won’t eat your veggies?” After his death, Tifa’s life changed a lot and she had to adapt. She learned to cook really well and always comes up with the most detailed diets ever. Because of that, she always cooks for the gang the healthiest meals and always has snacks in her backpack. Marlene got really mad once because she thought those were candy. Yuffie asked her if she went through those diets so she would look prettier, but Tifa clarified it was because she wanted to be at peak performance levels. You can’t beat Sephiroth running on sugar, only.

Cloud doesn’t care about food, something that pisses all of the AVALANCHE crew. If he has to eat noodles, he will eat noodles. If he doesn’t get to eat that day, that’s fine too. Food is certainly not a way to Cloud’s heart. He also doesn’t drink alcohol often, but something Cloud needs on his daily life is coffee. Cloud simply does not work properly if he doesn’t drink coffee by the time he’s up, and don’t even think about talking to him before he’s at least halfway past the second cup. If he doesn’t get his coffee, he becomes this sarcastic, moody and rude teenager. That’s because the lack of caffeine gives him the worst headaches.

Aerith would get an upset stomach if she ate in any of the fast-food chains in Sector 5. Because of that, she rarely ate anything that wasn’t her mom’s food until she left with AVALANCHE. She would snap pictures of everything herself and Tifa were ordering to send it to her mom and Marlene. She was the most likely to eat “weird” local food. Once, at Fort Condor, she ate the smelliest egg on the face of Gaia. Whenever Tifa remembers the smell, she thinks about going vegan for good. Once Yuffie had a serious talk with Aerith about how easily Shinra could poison her, since she accepted any food anyone offered outside of Midgar. Aerith vowed to only eat what Tifa cooked for the rest of the journey.

Fire and Light

Crutchie Morris had always been a scrappy little kid. When he was seven years old, he had run away after one too many close calls he knew were his fault, and he’d managed to survive for almost three years before being taken in by the people at Camp Half-Blood. He’d taken care of his own prosthetic, even managed to adjust it’s size when he grew, he’d learned to fight the things that seemed unkillable, and he’d refused to die even when it would have been easier to do so.

When he’d gotten to camp, people had underestimated him, assumed that because he was small and only had one leg he was weak or incapable, and he’d hated it so much he’d started working on his leg even more, until finally he took off his old prosthetic leg and put on his celestial bronze magic one that he’d designed and built himself, and by the time he was twelve he wasn’t scared to let people know that he could and would fight just as well as any of them.

But he was still a twelve-year-old kid, out on his first quest, and that was terrifying, especially while a manticore was steadily advancing, he had a shaking twelve-year-old demigod who’d never been told he was a demigod hiding behind him, and the satyr he’d been fighting with before was already incapacitated and on the ground behind him as well.

“Gods now would be a lovely time to like zap him like fast.” He muttered, flinging his crutch up wildly to deflect another spike as it aimed for his shoulder. When no lightning strike immediately took out the manticore, he bent his knees and got ready to fight.

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Sweet Caroline (The Losers Club)

Summary: The losers spending time with each other in a diner.

Words: 2,703

ao3

A/N: I got this from @grownups-are-the-real-monsters post about the losers in a diner listening to the juke box (x). Also, there aren’t any prevalent ships in this fic, a few are implied, but nothing outright. (It’s weird to post writing because I haven’t posted any writing in so long.)  

It was a small diner. It was a town over from Derry in a different small Maine town. It was one that the losers loved, because they weren’t losers there. They were the group of teenagers who went to the public places and were a little louder than the workers would like but not too bad because they tipped (unlike most teenagers) and were nice to the people they encountered.

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anti fucking likes chicken nuggets.

* Have not proofread. Wrote at 3am while high. I am now craving mcnuggets.

Shit, I’m hungry. Shit, I forgot to eat. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Editing videos is really time consuming..

I stand up with a loud yawn, stretching my arms up behind me.

I feel that annoying twitching in my fingertips, sighing softly as I lower my arms.

“Let’s get pizza!” I hear in my own mind, scoffing at the voice.

“We had leftover pizza for breakfast, dipshit.” I said aloud, not worried about someone hearing me talking to myself. Ah, yes, lonely advantages.

“Yes, but I want more!” It made my hand twitch, a lot more violent than before.

“No! Shut up, you’re gonna make me fat!” I huff and cross my arms, grabbing my wallet and hoodie.

“So? You’re already a gamer, it’s not like it’ll make a difference.” I only roll my eyes at the voice.

Soon enough, I’m at a total crossroads. Well, literally.

On one side of the street, McDonalds. On the other side, some stupid vegan restaraunt.

Instead of just standing in front of the cross, looking dumbly between establishments while I battle with my own mind, I take my phone out and lean against a nearby lamppost.

“McDonalds! C'mon! Let’s fuckin go!” Stupid, stupid, voice. I sigh and pretend to take a call, making it easier to blow off talking to the voice in my head.

“No, we had McDonalds last week.” I retorted, sort of watching the people idly walking around me.

“It’s been a week, that’s long enough. I want my fuckin’ McNuggets!” The voice was attempting to take control of me, I could tell. My foot twitched a bit, my sane half disguising it with easy tapping.

“God, shut up. No more junk food.” I rested one hand in my pocket, chewing on my lip as I took a step forward in the direction of the stupid vegan place. He’s gonna be so mad.

“No! No, no no, you idiot - God damnit, no, other way! Go the other way! The McDonalds is the OTHER WAY!” Maybe slapping myself would hurt him, too. Would it get him to shut up? Even if it would, I didn’t attempt it.

This.. second personality of mine? Asshole. TOTAL asshole. Here I am, trying to stay healthy for my own sake, and he’s forcing me through the doors of a damn McDonalds.

Wait, when did I get to the doors of the McDonalds - Fuck. Fuck, god damnit, no. He got control, shit.

We’re here anyways, so I just sigh and go up to the counter. He’s quieted down, thankfully.

Well, I THOUGHT he quited down. Until he makes me flinch with how loud he shouts “MCNUGGETS!” in my own head.

God, it’s so weird. I swear I can hear him but no one else can. He’s not real. Well.. sort of.

I sigh yet again and order for the both of us. His stupid fucking McNuggets - and thankfully they’ve got salads, albeit huge and probably still somehow greasy. But it’s good enough.

As soon as the cashier hands me the back, I’m gone. He stole control, yet again. Woop de fuckin’ DOOOOO.

We’re home. Wait, when did we get home? I don’t even remember unlocking my apartment.

God, I hate this stupid fuckin’ asshole in my head.

I finally regain control, feeling just a bit dizzy and awfully hungry.

“Loooove you, Jackaboooy!” I hear the voice resonating through my head as I open the bag.

“No, fuck off.” I grumble, immediatley going for the chicken nuggets.

No matter how healthy I try to be, or how much I try to stay fit, chicken nuggets are fucking amazing.

Blood Thirst

It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally here! Part 1 of my Jimmy Havoc 2 part series, maybe three if y’all comment enough, is here. 

Now without further ado….

Originally posted by that-prowrestling-girl

 

You can’t stand Jimmy. No, you love Jimmy what you can’t stand is drunk Jimmy. Unfortunately, drunk Jimmy is around for about eighty percent of the time. And you spend that time arguing with him and cleaning up all the empty bottles and cans. But the sober twenty percent is wonderful. You actually get dates with him and he can fuck like a god compared to the usually sloppy sex you have. When he’s sober you can see the love he has for you in the rosy glow he wears but when he drinks there’s not even a hint of that love.

You were working a show in Manchester that night. He was back home in Camden, drunk since he had the week off. You had done the move hundreds of time before but at the last second your opponent decided to switch it up. Instead of catching you they let you hit the floor. The last thing you see is the concrete slab that your face is about to hit.

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ok dream sg episode pt. 2

ext. shot - somewhat dingy alleyway, evening

maggie is leaning against the alley wall in her cute too big police jacket. she’s looking at her phone & only puts it away when we hear a quiet thump. the shot pans out to include supergirl

maggie: “everything alright?”

kara: “shes in, well, quarantine? she’s fine though”

maggie: “i actually meant you. you sounded weird on the phone earlier and you don’t look so good.”

Kara: “im alright.”

maggie looks like she wants to question it but she switches over to a more professional demeanour when supergirl hands her a small bag & a folder.

maggie: “i can’t make any promises about the tests but I’ll go over the photos tonight.”

kara nods. she looks uncomfortable again.

maggie: “seriously, hey, are you alright?”

kara: “this may seem like a weird question but did alex mention anything about mon el?”

maggie: “sure some. said you seemed really happy with him. he’s the guy at the bar, right? was it just me or did he kinda say he’s not homophobic because he likes orgies?”

kara: “did he?”

maggie shrugs

kara: “well for what it’s worth im thrilled. alex is the happiest i have ever seen her.”

maggie: “except for being in quarantine. can i take her anything? clothes, food, vegan icecream?”

kara: “gross! sure, i’ll make sure she gets it.”

kara takes several steps away, looks like she’s about to fly away.

kara: “maggie? thank you for doing this. i know it doesn’t feel right doing it off the record but,”

maggie: “i trust you. we do it this way until you can figure out what’s going on. and if you need backup,”

maggie pats her side & Kara nods. she flies away.

maggie waits for a moment before leaving the alley. the screen flickers like static. the same buzzing noise from earlier can be heard & the shot exits the alley & flies in the direction supergirl went.

//

ext. shot - night
j'onn & supergirl are flying over the city

j'onn: “do you know where we are going?”

kara: “nope!”

j'onn: “do you know what we are looking for?”

kara, flying circles around him: “no!”

j'onn stops flying & hovers in the air. kara stops next to him.

j'onn: “what are you looking for? what are we doing out here?”

kara looks like she is listening for something. very faintly, a buzzing sound can be heard & she flies off faster than j'onn can follow. we focus on kara who looks determined & she crashes into an invisible machine & throws it down into the desert. she follows, j'onn in the distance follows them both.

kara yanks on something that reveals the machine. it is vaguely alien glowing shit & looks kryptonian but…menacing.

j'onn: “what is that?”

kara, angry: “a daxamite drone”

j'onn: “we need to get this back to the DEO. winn can-”

kara: “hes been exposed, remember?”

j'onn nods, crosses his arms. he looks thoughtful.

j'onn: “what do you recommend supergirl?”

kara: “we need to find the hive, & we need to destroy it.”

j'onn: “and mon el?”

kara, determined. “let me deal with him.”

//

int. shot - krypton.

a grand hall. alura stands at the podium & the hall is packed with aliens. when she raises her hands, they fall silent & turn to face her.

alura: “dignitaires, envoys, i welcome you once more to krypton. today marks a very special day, one that will change the our course forever. for the better.”

several kryptonians stand at her sides. they look concerned. alura clutches at the side of the podium. she does not look well.

alura: “some time ago i was approached to consider an alliance with our great brother planet of daxam. i have had the privilege of speaking with the king and queen and their council.”

the shot turns to a noble & rich couple toward the front of the hall. they look very smug & satisfied. the shot remains on them as alura continues.

alura: “i have been treated to their unique hospitality during my stay there. i have been convinced quite thoroughly to agree to the merge.”

the shot returns to alura & her kryptonian companions as sounds of distress & confusion move through the crowd.

alura seems to be sweating & her voice is strained.

alura: “their methods of persuasion are quite successful.”

daxam king: “the merit of the alliance is persuasion enough, is it not?”

he moves to stand closer to her. alura braces herself against the podium.

daxam king, sounding concerned: “you don’t look well at all. perhaps we should make this quick and save the revelry for another day?”

alura moves stiffly to pull up a alien device. the daxam king places his hand inside the homoimage that appears. he stares at alura who makes no gesture to do the same.

daxam king: “won’t you agree to the alliance?”

alura says nothing.

daxam king: “agree to it! what are you waiting for?”

alura: “for my guard to return with proof”

she sounds & looks very ill but also triumphant. the daxam king pulls his hand away from the holoimage & yanks one of her hands towards him. she is holding a small device that he recognises. he pretends he does not.

daxam king: “what kind of game are you playing, alura? we came in peace because you offered an alliance.”

he looks disappointed & hurt. he motions for his people to leave & they begin to exit the hall.

they are stopped when guards begin to march in. alura looks horrified when kara is with them. she is holding in her hands a small box & she carries it up the steps toward alura.

little kara: “father said this is what you were looking for. i found it in our rooms. did i help, mother?”

alura strokes kara’s hair out of her eyes & nods. she takes the box from Kara & opens it to show the same machine james had taken photos of.

she disables the machine & looks much better instantly. she stands taller & her voice is strong.

“arrest the daxam dignitaries and their king and queen, for the crime of coercion against krypton.”

//

int. shot - DEO city headquarters

kara walks with mon el down the hallways. they are holding hands & she is listening to him discuss something new he has learned about earth. it’s almost correct in an amusing way & she laughs.

mon el: “so, you said you had something important to talk about?”

kara stops where she is next to a doorway & nods.

kara: “there’s something i have been meaning to talk to you about.”

mon el: “if this is about breaking up then i forgive you”

kara smiles but she doesn’t look happy.

kara: “thank you.”

mon el nods.

kara continues like the boss she is: “for making this so easy.”

she slams her hand on the button next to her & opens the cell door. in another second she absolutely fucking smashed mon el into the cell & closes it before he can recover. kara slaps a picture of the alien device against the glass.

kara: “where is it?”

mon el stands & crosses his arms.

kara looks like she wants to ask again but she crumples the photo in her hand & storms out instead.

mon el: “you could have just asked me.”

kara pauses in the doorway: “i already know you’re brainwashing my friends. my family. i don’t have to be nice to you just because you have information i want.”

kara stands in that fuckin boss supergirl stance yas girl!!!

kara: “i will find it, with or without your help. you should start thinking about how to make that easier for me.”

mon el: “why? so you’ll forgive me?”

kara: “no, i won’t. Ever. you want to make this easier so i don’t let my sister put lead in your leg again. and this time? my mothers on vacation so she can’t save you.”

kara exits the room.

she joins j'onn who is standing at the end of the hall.

j'onn: “my mothers on vacation?”

kara, crossing her arms, sighs. “I couldn’t think of a cool line. do you think it sounded enough like a threat?”

j'onn: “you should’ve left it at alex”

kara nods.