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Embarrassed ¿

Based (y/n) off Jada sezer. Requested, hope you like it. And sorry the ending is so shitty, but I promised to post this. please enjoy

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“alright, that’s all for today, great job (y/n)” the photographer, Evan spoke as we just finished our shoot. Evan worked for a magazine, and as an ‘on the rise’ star, they wanted more information about be, so we did an interview and then the shoot.

I was new to the singing world, and fame and everything. I was always so nervous to ever pursue singing cause singers you see today, they’re a lot smaller than me. I was a little heavier than most, but I finally got my confidence after so many people said that ‘I was beautiful’ and ‘it’s not about your weight’ and mostly the only thing people ever said to me were about my singing, and how beautiful I was.

I also had my boyfriend Nate, to thank for being so confident with myself and my body now. Despite getting bullied in high school, when I moved out to LA, I met Nate at a concert, and afterwards we stayed around a bit more and drank some and just really hit it off. We started to talk more and hang out more after the concert and then like 3 months later he introduced me to his family as his girlfriend and that was the start of our relationship. Now here we are 5 months later, happy as ever.

I loved his family so much. They were so sweet, and his sister was like my little sister. I constantly texted her and called her and we always had plans whenever Nate would go to the studio or out with the boys.

I never met Nate’s friends, but I knew of them. I saw snapchats of them and pictures of them with fans all the time. He also would talk about them a lot. Nate also never asked me to go out with him and his friends. And at first I thought, maybe he just doesn’t want me to come around, not knowing how this is going to work out with us, but we’ve been together 5 months now and still nothing.

Nate was actually at the studio now, but he said he was coming over soon and we were gonna hang out, go out to the movies and then come back to mine for the night.

I was just getting ready when Nate called me.

Hey babe.

‘hey ma, I’ll be over soon, like 15 minutes, will you be ready by then?’

Yeah, I’ll be ready by then.

‘okay good. I’ll see ya in a few, love you’

Love you too Nate.

And with that I hung up and finished getting ready. I threw on some jeans, and rolled them up a bit, so they were cuffed right above the ankle, and then a denim like button up shirt. I curled my hair and put on some chukka low vans and by the time I was done Nate was already at my door.

“hey ma.” He smiled, placing his hand on my waist and kissing me. We pulled apart and I smiled at him.

“hey babe.”

“you ready to go?”

“yeah.”

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The movie was great. I couldn’t stop laughing, and I hated my laugh. Not many people were there, and people hardly recognize us. You see, Nate and I hadn’t really told anyone about our relationship. We wanted to keep it lowkey until we were sure how long we would last, but after 5 months I was more than ready to tell everyone about us, but Nate always seemed a little uneasy about that.

Yeah, I had my doubts on his reasons why. My first thought was that because of how big I am, compared to all the other girls that are like, in love with Nate, and he was embarrassed about that. And the one time I mentioned it to him, he flipped.

He told me that he just didn’t want everyone in our business, which I totally get. But sometimes I saw pictures people posted of them and their boyfriend or girlfriend showing them off, and I wish Nate and I would do that.

We were walking to the car, hand in hand when Nate suddenly let go of my hand. I looked up at him and he wasn’t looking at me, he was actually walking far off to my side, and then he started to walk faster.

“Nate, what are you doing?”

He turned and looked to me and then dug in his pocket, handing me the keys.

“here babe, go start the car, I’ll be there in a second.” He said, looking around and then coming and kissing my forehead. “love ya.” And with that he ran up to a group of guys, throwing his arms around two different guys shoulders. I could hear him yell.

“wassup guys.”

“yo skate, what’s up man?” a tall blonde said, bro hugging Nate.

His fucking friends. These were his fucking friends he hasn’t introduced me to yet. Unbelievable. This was the best time too. We were out and they just happened to be right there. He could have walked up with me and introduced me, but he didn’t. And it’s obvious why. Looking at the group of guys, they seemed all the same. Shallow. The blonde literally whistled at a stick with fake tits and a big ass, watching her walk my way.

His eyes met mine and he smiled, and then turned back around to all the other guys.

I was so pissed I went to the car. I sat and waited for 10 minutes before finally getting in the driver seat and just going home. I was over this. Yeah sure, I wasn’t a stick thin model like girl, like the type that him and his friends seem to be into, but still.

I texted Nate once I got home, telling him to find another ride, and that he can pick his car up from mine. He texted me back a half hour later, freaking out.

From Nate: wtf (y/n), I was getting ready to come to the car.

To Nate: sorry, but after like 15 minutes, I didn’t wanna wait any longer. Plus, wouldn’t want your friends to see me in the passenger seat.

From Nate: wtf is that about?

To Nate: you know exactly what I’m talking about. Just, your keys are in the car still, so whenever you get here don’t bother coming in.

I wasn’t gonna text him back the rest of the night. I was so over his bullshit. He knew how I felt about myself, despite the confidence he helped me gain, he also did a little to bring me right back down. He fucking knew.

I was laying on the couch, watching a movie when I heard a car pull up, a door open, some slight conversation, unable to tell what they were saying, just muffled voices and then a door close. I was waiting to hear Nate’s car start, but my front door swinging open was quite unexpected.

“(y/n), what the fuck” Nate asked, standing in my doorway. I got up from the couch and turned to look at him.

“did you have a nice time with your friends?” I scoffed.

“yeah, but seriously? What the hell? Why did you leave?”

“why did I leave? Are you seriously asking me that?”

“yeah? What the fuck’s your problem?”

“my problem? Nate tonight we saw your best fucking friends, and you couldn’t even introduce me to them. We’ve been together 5 fucking months and you haven’t even introduced us, and it’s pretty obvious why.”

“I was going to introduce you to them.”

“bull fucking shit. That’s why you told me to go wait in the car. Seriously Nate.”

“You don’t get it (y/n)”

“get what Nate? You’re fucking embarrassed to be seen with me. Admit it. Just cause I’m not as thin as the fucking skanks you guys are used to.”

“don’t fucking stand there throwing shit at me.”

“you’re not even denying that you’re embarrassed. If you don’t wanna be seen with me, why are we even together Nate?”

“cause I love you.”

“obviously you don’t if you won’t even introduce me to your friends.”

“we’ve been over this, we were waiting to tell people.”

“bull shit. It’s been 5 months Nate. I met your family, and they had no problem with me, or my size.”

“okay, yeah fine. I don’t want my friends knowing about us. That’s the main reason. You’re right.”

“get out.” I scream. I was fucking done.

“no, it’s not like that. Let me ex-“

“no, get the fuck out of my house Nate. Don’t fucking bother coming back either. I’m so over your shit. You knew exactly how I felt about myself, and you fucking made it worse. Just leave.” I said, turning and going upstairs. “I’ll put your shit in a box and set it outside, you can get it whenever.” And with that I made it up to my room and slammed my door.

I heard my front door slam, knowing Nate had left, but I stayed in bed, crying. I couldn’t believe this. All the times he said I was beautiful, and that my weight or size didn’t bother him. All of it. A lie. I must have cried myself to sleep, cause I woke up the next morning, feeling like shit.

My eyes were swollen, my nose was stuffy, and I just felt like laying in bed all day. Unfortunately I couldn’t do that though. I got up and got ready, showering and getting dressed and then heading out for some errands. I had to stop by the studio, my producer wanted me to come in for some sort of meeting about a collab.

Deciding on getting Starbucks before, I drove to the studio, parked and then walked to Starbucks, since it was only a 5 minute walk. Once I got in there, I noticed the line was a little long, but I had plenty of time.

I heard the bell chime, signaling that someone had just walked in. I turned and saw the blonde boy from the other night, Nate’s friend. We made eye contact and he smiled at me, and then stood behind me in line.

“excuse me” he spoke, causing me to turn around and look at him.

“hi” I said, awkwardly.

“You’re (y/n) right?”

“yeah, and you are?”

“oh I’m Sammy.”

“nice to meet you.” I smiled.

“yeah, you too. I think I saw you last night, but I wasn’t entirely sure,  it was a little dark, and I was a little high.” He laughed.

“oh yeah, I thought you looked familiar.” I smiled.

“well yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re really beautiful, and you have a killer voice. Crazy talent ma.”

“thank you so much. It means a lot” I smiled. Having a stranger call me beautiful made me feel so good about myself.

“no problem. I mean, I just speak the truth.”

“well thanks Sammy.”

“yeah. I don’t wanna be to upfront, but would you mind if we went out later? Drinks? My friends and I are going out downtown, and I’d really like to spend more time with you, plus, I saw you on Jimmy Fallon, and you seem hilarious.” He chuckled.

“um, yeah sure, I could use a drink.” I laugh.

“awesome. Here, give me your number and I’ll come get you later.”

“okay.”

We exchanged numbers, and when we got our drinks, we sat and drank them together, talking more. I felt so bad about thinking he was shallow. He was actually really sweet after talking to him, and he kept saying sweet things like ‘you’re beautiful’ or ‘I like when you smile’ and just sweet things like that, that made me feel so much better about myself.

“oh shit, I gotta go.” I said, standing up. “I’ve gotta go meet with my producer. It was really nice meeting you Sammy.”

“likewise. I’ll see ya later ma.”

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Sammy and I had been texting all day. He kept talking about how excited he was for tonight. He said all his friends loved my music and they’ve been wanting to meet me because I seem so funny and chill.

And Sammy couldn’t get over the fact that I was doing a song with MGK. He was literally freaking out. Telling me that when we record, I have to invite him to the studio so he can meet MGK finally. I told him I’d see what I can do.

Sammy was actually on his way to get me. He said he should be here in about 5 minutes. So until then I was in my kitchen, working on my drink I made earlier. Just vodka and pink lemonade. Sammy texted me and told me he was here, so I swallowed down the rest down and walked out to the uber, sliding in next to Sammy.

We talked on the way to the bar, but were interrupted by my phone going off every 3 mintues. Nate texting me, calling me, anything to try to reach me. Nate was calling again, but I just let it ring.

“you’re not gonna get that?” Sammy asked.

“no.”

“it might be important. Your phones been going off all night, and it’s barely even started.”

“it’s just my boyfriend.”

“and you’re not answering because…?”

“we kinda got into a fight.”

“over what?”

I sighed, and looked down at my hands in my lap.

“we’ve been dating for 5 months, and we haven’t told anyone besides his family.”

“why not?”

“at first, just for personal shit, like privacy from media and stuff, but then I was ready too, but he didn’t want too. And last night we fought over how he’s embarrassed to tell his friends and stuff because he’s embarrassed by me.”

“why would anyone be embarrassed to be with you? You’re gorgeous.”

“I guess my size just embarrassed him. He didn’t want his friends to know he was with someone so big.”

“(y/n) look at me.” Sammy said softly, taking my hand in his, causing me to look into his eyes. “he’s an ass. You’re beautiful, despite what he thinks, or his friends. He should be happy to be with you. Hell, I’d die to be your boyfriend. You best believe I’d be showing you off. I’d be proud of you. It’s not about size or beauty even. I can tell you’re a great person, and if he’s to stupid to see that, it’s his loss.”

“thanks Sammy. It really means a lot. It’s just been so hard to ever feel beautiful, but then with him I feel so great, but he does shit like, hide me from his friends because of my weight and stuff, that make me feel worse.”

“well, I say, fuck your ass of a boyfriend, let’s get drunk.”

We got out of the uber and headed inside. Stopping at the bar and getting some drinks, and then heading to Sammy’s little ‘vip’ area him and his friends had. We walked in, and everyone started cheering.

“guys, this is (y/n) you know the singer.”

“oh my god, you’re beautiful. I seriously love you.” A boy with longer hair said.

“thank you” I laughed, overwhelmed with everyone talking at once.

“I’m Kenny by the way.” He smiled.

“nice to meet you.”

I sat by Sammy, and talked to everyone, cracking jokes, and we were all just having a good time. I wasn’t even bothered by Nate’s problem anymore. All these guys, and the like 3 girls that were here, that were all way smaller than me, made me feel so good. The girls said they wish they looked like me, and that made me smile.

“yo, what’s good skate.” I heard Sammy yell, as I was talking to Emily. My eyes went wide and I turned to see Nate, who was looking right at me.

“what the fuck?” he asked, looking at me.

“oh yeah, skate this is my friend (y/n), you know, the singer we always talk about.” Sammy smiled.

“yeah I know who she is.” He said, harshly.

“dude, chill.” Kenny chimed in.

“yeah, chill Nate.” Sammy said, throwing his arm over my shoulder. And I knew that was it for Nate. He had always been the jealous type, and I knew by the look on his face, something was about to happen.

“I’ll chill when you get your fucking hands off my girlfriend.” Nate said, and then everyone just stopped and looked between the three of us. Me, Sammy and Nate. Sammy looked between Nate and I, and then looked at me.

“he’s the ass?”

“yep”

Then Sammy looked at Nate, and stood up to face him.

“how are you about to freak out on me when you couldn’t even introduce her to us? What the fucks that about man? And for something as stupid as her size? Thinking we’d have a problem with it? You really think so lowly of your best friends?”

“no, it’s not even the reason.”

“well then what’s your real reason Nate?” I asked from my spot on the couch next to Emily.

“(y/n) you know it wasn’t like that. You know I love you. I just didn’t wanna introduce you cause I know my friends, and I didn’t want them calling me whipped and shit like that. I’m not embarrassed by you babe.”

“you know, I believe him.” Emily said next to me. “we’re a tough crowd when it comes to one of the guys and a girl, and especially Skathan. We’ve been wondering about him lately, constantly on his phone, walking around with a smile on his face all the time.” She smiled.

“yeah, he’s definitely whipped, but I don’t blame him.” Derek spoke.

Nate came over and sat by me.

“please believe me (y/n). I love you so much. You know that I do. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“nate, you could have just told me.”

“but then you woulda told me I was being stupid and insisted on meeting them.”

“would that have been so bad?”

“no, I knew they would love ya ma, I just didn’t want them calling me whipped. It hurts a mans ego.” He chuckled, the seriousness leaving. “I’m sorry babygirl. Do you forgive me?” he smiled his cute dopey little smile.

“I can’t say no to that face.” I laughed.

“good!” he cheered, grabbing my face and kissing me “I love you baby.” He smiled.

“I love y-“

“whipped!” Derek and Kenny yelled, making everyone laugh, and Nate and I smile.