van graf

ready favorite parks lines off the top of your head, go 

  • treat yo self
  • i typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems
  • the low cal calzone zone 
  • jogging is the worst, chris! I mean I know it keeps you healthy, but god, at what cost?
  • don’t you dare give that waffle to that dog to get it to poop 
  • my name is annabelle van der graf and y'all I just fall to pieces when the sun shines on my hairds 
  • sometimes you have to work a little so you can ball a lot
  • you….gold digger! you’re literally a gold digger 
  • I’m never gonna be a cop. I’m gonna have to be a robber 
  • He was all huh heh whuh and then he walked into an office that wasn’t his
  • the universe is love 
  • FUCK YOU ANN!
  • I have the toes I have 
  • the fuck is a german muffin? 
  • bobby newport’s never had a real job in his life 
  • together we can defeat obese children 
  • i salsa your face
  • is she gonna powder her vagina? 
  • uh oh, batman’s crying
  • ice town costs ice clown his town crown
  • PONCHO
  • you’re my sexy roommate! we love each other! 
  • jammin on my planner
  • windows are the eyes to the house 
  • twinkle twinkle big star
  • everybody pants now. pants pants pants pants 
  • I’m scared of bees, ann!
  • technically I’m homeless
  • oh my god jerry, when you need to check your email you go to altavista and type “please take me to yahoo dot com”???
  • I love you like a brother. But right now I hate you like my actual brother, Levondrius. WHO I HATE 
  • your eyes are about to piss tears
  • you don’t even know one thing I didn’t even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and I didn’t even do it once
  • I’ve driven Ann straight into the belly of the douche 
  • Benji’s cool times summer jamz mix 
  • Macklin, you son of a bitch 
  • the only thing I’ll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother
  • I love nothing! 
  • let’s do it to it mah dudes
  • damn jerry, you jumped in a creek for a burrito? what would you do for a klondike bar, kill your wife?
  • I’m feeding your eagle…he’s starving 
  • I AM SUPER CHILL ALL THE TIME 
  • jail ron. ron jail. jail ron. jail. you could go to jail. jail. jail. jail
  • I COMPARED IT TO AVATAR, CHRIS! and how could it not be longer?!
  • the wooooooooorst 
  • Ann you beautiful tropical fish
  • I’M FROM MICHIGAN that wasn’t worth saying
  • punk ass book jockeys! 
  • pawnee: it’s safe to live here now
  • CUBE BUTT CUBE BUTT CUBE BUTT
  • bababooey
  • I’m like that lightbulb. weak, flickering. barely giving off any light. unable to make out with the lightbulb I want to make out with 
  • the economy 
  • google earth, always taking pics
  • the calzones….betrayed me?
  • torple
txt me up! (acoustic remix)
the mildred van der grafs
txt me up! (acoustic remix)

keisha st cloud’s beloved pop classic, as performed by fandom’s own semi-existent internet-based rock band, the mildred van der grafs

vocals by @lowerthegates​, @the-queen-meme​ and @saltkettle
harmonies arranged by @the-queen-meme​ and @saltkettle
ukulele by @the-queen-meme
guitar and additional lyrics by @lowerthegates
album art by @zellyana125

notes and lyrics below the cut!

Keep reading

fuck off (you're a zombie now)
the mildred van der grafs
fuck off (you're a zombie now)

incidentally: here’s a ‘demo version’ of the song referenced in this. for all your ‘a girl on an acoustic guitar playing a (nominally) punk song about zombies’ needs.

if anyone out there in zr fandom plays an instrument (ANY instrument) or sings (even badly) and wants to join the imaginary post apocalyptic punk band, lemme know