vampire lair


Context - the party are dungeon-delving into a rather mischievous vampire’s underground ‘lair’. They spot a door at the bottom of a pit.

DM: There’s a ladder you can climb down.

Rogue: Okay, I’ll go down and check for traps *succeeds*

DM: The ladder’s fine…

Rogue: I reach the bottom and yell up –.

DM: … but as your feet hit the floor, you trigger the trap hidden on the ground. Fireballs explode from all around you and those on the ladder.

*4d6 fire damage*

DM: Roll to keep hold of the ladder.

*NPC companion nat 1s*

DM: Anton falls and …


 DM: … lands gently on the floor…….. triggering the trap again.

Party: FFS

*3d6 fire damage*

DM: Again, roll to keep hold.

*Ranger-druid fails and hits the ground*

Party: NO

*2d6 fire damage*

DM, gleefully: And again?

*Cleric fails and falls*

*1d6 fire damage*

DM, is far too happy: Once more?

*everyone succeeds and makes it down the ladder, but only because the trap is exhausted*

Party: *is totally wrecked and on its last legs purely because of fire and fall damage*

Rogue: *took absolutely no damage because of evasion* Well that wasn’t too bad. Let’s look at this door…

DM: The door is painted on the wall. You’re literally in a dead end pit.

Party: …………

Prompt: “I have stabbed people with these heels before and I’m not afraid to do it again, so I would suggest not pissing me off.” (X)
Fandom: Shadowhunters
Pairing: Reader x Raphael Santiago
Word Count: 624

“Why the hell did you drag me along? I told you before Clary, I hate vampires. Especially the ones that are named Raphael Santiago.” You mumbled as you walked behind her and Simon, annoyed because you had to go to the vampires lair with her and her vampire best friend. Out of all the things you had encountered, vampires were the ones you hated the most. Their fast speed made them unpredictable, even for a skilled Shadowhunter like yourself. But besides that, vampires were always snarky and annoying, something you hated about them the most.

Out of the vampires you had encountered, Raphael Santiago was the worst. Sure, for a dead guy he was extremely good-looking. Unfortunately, his attitude wasn’t. He was always dripping with sarcasm which annoyed you the most, especially since you lived with a bunch of Shadowhunters who were sarcastic as hell.

“He isn’t that bad.” Simon answered as you rolled your eyes. Of course Simon would protect him. The two vampires had a sibling bond which you found quite odd. How could someone have that kind of a bond with Raphael Santiago out of all people? Or in this case, out of all vampires.

“Have you met this guy?” You asked as the three of you walked over to the front door of the hotel they were residing in. Clary and Simon stopped, debating over whether they should knock or just walk in. Rolling your eyes you began to kick down the door when it flew open, making you almost fall into the arms of the one vampire you hated: Raphael Santiago. Luckily, you managed to gain your balance as you stood extremely close to him before clearing your throat and taking a step back.

“Were you just planning on kicking down my front door?”

“Why exactly would I want to work together with a bunch of werewolves and Shadowhunters? Especially with the ones who wanted to kick down my front door.” He said, looking straight at you with a smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes as you turned to him, crossing your arms.

“Are we still talking about this? We said we’re sorry.” You mumbled before Simon raised his finger, pointing at himself.

“Actually, I said it. You just nodded.” He added as you let out a sigh.

“Which means that I agreed. Can we move past this now, please?” You remarked as you glanced at Clary who was beginning to grow impatient.

“Look, we’re here for the same reason: we all want the cup. I mean, we are all pretty screwed if Valentine finds it first.” She said as you nodded, looking over to Raphael as you waited for his answer.

“No.” He stated confidently. You raised your eyebrow as you glanced at Clary and Simon, seeing them just as confused as you were.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” You asked. He simply sighed as he stood up from the couch he was sitting on.

“I mean no. If you want someone to help you, ask the dogs or the fairies.” He simply said as he passed the three of you, wanting to leave the room.

You moved in front of him, blocking his way out of the room. He stopped, looking at you with an annoyed expression.

“Move.” Raphael simply said as you let out of a chuckle, taking a step closer to him as you stared deeply into his eyes.

“Listen closely, bloodsucker. I have stabbed people with these heels before and I’m not afraid to do it again, so I would suggest not pissing me off.” For a moment Raphael seemed stunned before letting out a chuckle and turning himself towards Clary and Simon.

“Did she just really threaten me with her heels?”

You crept into the vampire’s lair, a knife in hand. Checking every corner before you turned, your ears were on high alert for any noise that came from the blood sucking teenagers. Then, quiet footsteps from the other side of the room. You froze and pressed yourself against the wall, gripping your knife tighter. The steps got closer, two vampires. You stepped out from the wall and held the knife in font of you.

“Wassup motherfu-” You were cut off but a loud bang and the world suddenly going black.

A high pitched white noised filled your head as you opened your eyes and groaned. You rolled over to see that you weren’t in thee vampire lair, but in a sort of motel room, where two guys sat.

“Where am I?” You managed to mutter out, loud enough to catch the attention of one of the men.

“Hi, I’m Sam Winchester, and this is Dean. Do you remember anything from before you blacked out?” You gave a nod of hello and propped yourself up on your elbow, squinting.

“Well either something went wrong or this is one hell of a hangover.” You said and rubbed your temples. Dean smirked.

“Are you a hunter?” Sam asked. You nodded. “We are too. We were tracking some vampires and Dean thought you were one… So he shot you. But-” You cut the boy off.

“You shot me?” Dean gestured to your shoulder and you saw it was bandaged up with a fair sized blood stain. 

“You fell, hit your head, and blacked out.” Explained Dean simply.

“Hold on, why the hell would you shoot a vampire?” You looked accusingly at the older hunter.

“The bullet was covered in dead man’s blood. The plan was to poison one vampire and lure the rest out an’ trap ‘em.”

“Great.” You groaned. “I’m in the middle of nowhere with two psychos and probably blood poisoning.”

Dean smirked. “Welcome to the family, kid.”

this is what you want

length: 1.9k

type: angst and lovely fluff

warnings: blood, killing a monster

  • Based on this quote:
  • “Sharing a room you hate most is like sharing a room with a siren. (The kind on police cars, not the kind who try to entrap you when you cross the English Channel.)” -Simon Snow, pg. 166
  • AU where Simon and Baz cross the English channel on a quest, but Baz gets seduced by a siren on their way

thank you to @acraycratfangirl and @the-jeans for being my amazing betas!

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The players had arrived at the vampires lair castle to rescue the kidnapped princess. 
The vampire lord was standing dramatically on the staircase, someone had mentioned the fog that surrounded the castle. 
“it’s very cliche isn’t it?”-Druid
“It’s not my fault! I have been trying to get rid of that damn fog for years, it just appears. I can’t see through it either, its dreadfully annoying!” -Vampire
Players crack up at the indignant cliche vampire.

“no, I meant kidnapping the princess” -Druid.
“oh…well yes, but I figured that was the only way to get the king to listen”

TS4 Vampiric Balance Challenge!

Hey loves! I’ve been playing by these rules loosely since I started thinking of them yesterday and I think it would be fun for others too! So, if you take on the challenge let me know so I can make sure I’m following and see how it goes!! 


At the end of the challenge (7/22, my birthday!) TWO of the simmers who participate that I’ve been following will receive an origin code for a TS4 stuff pack of their choice! 

How to participate:

  • Make sure we’re mutuals! Follow me and make sure I’m following you. Just so you can get updates and all that jazz. You can unfollow me as soon as the challenge is over, I won’t be offended! ^_^
  • Comment on this post, reblog, or message me stating that you intend to participate in the challenge! 
  • Reblog this post to spread awareness! The more the merrier!!
  • Make sure you have the sims 4 Vampires installed! 
  • Make sure your vampires are MORTAL. Long lifespans are okay but either set them as mortal or use a mortal vamps mod. The mortal vampires mod is currently borked by the new patch. Use MC Command center or just move them out instead when the next gen reaches YA. 
  • Follow the rules for each generation below. Feel free to ask if you need clarification.
  • Post at least one post with some screenshots and information for each generation. More if you want!


2 participants chosen at random will win 1 TS4 stuff pack of their choice unless one of the following conditions is in effect.

  • If only 3 people participate all three will get stuff packs. If only one person participates they will receive Either a combo pack of their choice (Each contains 2 stuff packs and a game pack), 3 stuff packs of their choice, 2 game packs of their choice, or one full expansion of their choice. Up to them!
  • If the winners already have all of the content for ts4 they will receive either an origin gift card code or the next released stuff pack or game pack. 

That’s it! I’ll be choosing the winners via RNG so it’s fair to everyone!


-You may makeover spouses once to your liking but may not makeover children (Except for skin/hair/eye colours) until they are teens.

-You may makeover the heirs of each generation one time when they become teens. You may change their hair/skin/eye colours whenever you like however but just once! Outfit changing is fine any time!

-You make decorate however you like. 

-You may use any cheats (including needs, same sex pregnancy, pregnancy, or money cheats) or cheat-type mods except for the following:

  • Free/Reduced cost vampire perk cheats.
  • Feeding tweak cheats.
  • Aging cheats or commands.
  • Skills or relationships cheats or commands.
  • Collection, free item, etc cheats.
  • Promotion cheats.
  • Any cheats the generation specifically says aren’t allowed.

Challenge set up:

  • Make sure you’re using a fairly large lot. There are going to be a lot of simmies by the end! Make sure the lot has the “Haunted” trait, “Vampire lair” trait, and one other trait of your choice. 
  • NO free vampire perks cheats, skills cheats, etc. Needs cheats are okay in most gens unless stated.
  • Build your house or download one from the gallery. Make sure it has a basement and a second (or top, whatever level. I use 4 levels: Basement (Dark rooms), First floor (living areas) Second Floor (Teen and Under rooms), and Third floor (Light rooms). Money cheats are okay!
  • Start with 2 sims, twin vampires. They can be any gender/sex combo you want and don’t have to be the same. One must have the good trait and the other must have the evil trait. Both must have the vampiric family aspiration. These are your founders!
  • These founders must reach the highest level of vampirism and obtain all vampiric powers.

Generation 1:

  • 1 sim must gain level 10 in the Gardening, Herbalism, and Cooking skills
  • The other must gain level 10 in the Singing, Painting, and an instrument.
  • You must hire a maid for daily service. One sim must turn that maid into a vampire. The other sim must marry that maid. 
  • The other spouse must be a townie, any non-vampire premade sim will do. One sim must turn them into a vampire and the other must marry them. (So each sim turns one spouse and their sibling marries the one they turned)
  • EVIL sim may never ask permission to drink.
  • GOOD sim may never compel for drink. 
  • Twins must have high relationship despite their differences!
  • EVIL sim may only woohoo in Coffin until children are conceived.
  • GOOD sim may only woohoo in bat form until children are conceived.
  • Each twin must have 2 children, one with the good trait, one with the evil trait. 
  • Between the household generation one must complete one collection. (As far as the game expansions you own allow)

Generation 2:

  • Use a money cheat to resent family funds to 100 simoleons only when the second generation reaches young adulthood.
  • With the family money gone, the second generation sims need to get jobs! They are now the main sims. Move the first generation either into another house on the property or out of the master bedrooms. Leave them on the property unless they die. Record deaths and how they died. Do not revive them unless one of the 2nd gen has a whim to do so. 
  • One sim must level the following skills to ten: Painting, Gardening, Science.
  • That sim must join the doctor career and advance to the furthest level. 
  • One sim must level the following skills to ten: Cooking, Herbalism, Instrument
  • That sim must join the culinary career and advance to the furthest level. 
  • One sim must level the following skills to ten: Singing, Woodworking, Handiness.
  • That sim must join The astronaut career and advance to the highest level.
  • The last sim must level the following skills to ten: Logic, Mischief, Photography
  • That sim must join the secret agent career and advance to the highest level. 
  • One or more sims in this generation must discover aliens!
  • One of the sims in this generation must marry another life state (Human, Alien, or plantsim)
  • Two of the sims in this generation must marry another vampire. 
  • One of the sims in this generation must not marry. 
  • Between this generation they must complete one collection (as far as the game expansions you own allow)
  • Each sim of this generation may have as many children as you like but they must have at least one. You can choose the heirs when they reach TEEN. Spares will be moved out upon reaching adulthood. You can choose traits as you like BUT 2 of the heirs must be evil and 2 must be good. 

Generation 3:

  • If they are still alive generation 1 must be moved out of the lot to make room. 
  • The 3rd generation must have the following career/skill combos:
  • Detective: Writing, Logic, Photography - Must complete 5 mystery/crime novels and advance to the highest level of the detective career.
  • Tech Guru: Video Gaming, Programming, and Baking - Must win 1st place in a  Hillock II tournament and advance to the highest level of the tech guru career. 
  • Entertainer: Charisma, Career related skill (Comedy for comedians, music for a musician, etc.), and Cooking. -Must create ambrosia and reach the highest level of the entertainer career. 
  • Scientist: Rocket science, Wellness, Fishing - Must learn to teleport and reach the highest level in the scientist career. 
  • These are career oriented sims. They don’t have time to complete any collections. 
  • Two sims must marry an alternate life-state (plantsim, alien, or human)
  • Two sims must marry other vampires. 
  • Have all four sims try for baby at the same time with their spouses. The first Evil and First Good to have a baby (no cheats!) are the parents of the next gen heirs. Each of them must have a second child. Each must have one evil and one good child.

Generation 4:

  • Generation 3 spares and their parents must be moved out if they’re still alive. Buh Bye!
  • Generation 4 is keen to live off of the money their parents and aunts/uncles made. Do not give them careers. They may have part-time jobs. 
  • This generation must complete 2 collections to make up for last gen (and because they have nothing better to do, the slackers!) 
  • This generation must grow one of every FRUIT in the game and splice them into one super fruit plant. 
  • One sim from this generation must max the gardening skill and Evolve at least 6 plants to highest quality. 
  • One sim from this generation must max the writing skill and complete at least 6 novels.
  • One sim from this generation must max the fitness skill. Then make them gain a bunch of weight. 
  • One sim from this generation must woohoo with at least 6 other sims. 
  • Two sims from this generation must marry vampires.
  • One sim from this generation must marry a human.
  • One sim from this generation may not marry but must have a child with a vampire. 
  • Each of these sims must have 2 children. One good and one evil. 

Generation 5 (Final!) 

  • Use a cheat to reset the family funds to 100 simoleons. 
  • Put all collectibles, rewards, earned items in the inventory of the heirs. 
  • Move out all sims but the 8 heirs. 
  • Bulldoze the lot completely. 
  • Each sim must have a different way of making money. Careers, jobs, store ownership, etc. They may change jobs as well! 
  • This generation must finish one more collection. 
  • This generation must build a new home for themselves with space to display all collections that were completed. 
  • This generation must have a garden to grow food. 
  • This generation may not use money cheats. 
  • This generation may marry whomever they wish. 
  • This generation must invite every family member from previous generations over at least once if they are still alive. 
  • This lot must have the “Cursed” lot trait along with “Vampire Lair” and one other trait of your choice. 
  • At least one sim from this generation must be cured of vampirism. 
  • At least one sim from this generation must turn at least 3 other sims into vampires. 
  • You cannot use needs cheats this generation.
  • All of the heirs must survive until their parents die.  Since mortal vamps mod is borked just make sure they all reach the highest level of vampirism with all vampire powers.
  • These heirs must make at least 100k simoleons. 
  • The challenge ends when all of the above are completed. 

Remember to take gameplay pictures! Make it fun and interactive! Post and enjoy!! I’ll choose the winners after my birthday and hand out the codes. ^_^ 

#022 The Spooky Documents

PREMISE: When a case is too spooky for the FBI to investigate, they type up a report and file it under “S” for “Spooky.” Now, a disgraced FBI agent and his new partner have been charged with investigating these unsolved cases. Will they find the truth, or will they get scared and run away?

CHARACTERS: Felix Moore is an FBI Agent whose obsession with spooky cases ruined his once promising career. His colleagues think he’s a crackpot because of his crazy theories about the occult and supernatural. Moore’s new partner is Delilah Scoopes, an even more paranoid FBI agent with even crazier theories about the occult and supernatural and aliens and conspiracies and faucets—just wait till she tells you the truth about the faucets. Moore and Scoopes get along great.

NOTABLE EPISODE: In this typical “Beast of the Fortnight” episode, an investigation into a strange disappearance is quickly derailed as Moore and Scoopes one-up each other’s theories about the mystery. They then spend the rest of the episode trying to track down Illuminati Vampires who kidnapped President Kennedy using psychic powers granted by an experimental serum developed by the Coast Guard. Moore and Scoopes find the Illuminati Vampires’ secret lair, which is located beneath Disneyland, but as usual, they can’t prove a thing. As in every episode, they vow that one of them will “definitely remember to bring a camera next time for sure.”  (S07.E19 – “Ich Bin Ein Illuminati Vampire With Psychic Powers Who Lives Underneath Disneyland”)

CATCHPHRASE: “There’s got to be an irrational explanation for this.”/“Yes, and…”

TRIVIA/MISCELLANY: There was never any “will they won’t they” tension between Moore and Scoopes, because the two started having sex in the pilot. Conspiracy theories seemed to act as a kind of foreplay for both of them.


This kinda ended up a Reader X Raphael / Malec Imagine :D Also I apologies for the appalling attempt at sarcasm :)

“Enough.” Izzy said as she joined you in watching Alec and Magnus chat with each other. You rolled your eyes and glared at your childhood friend as she chuckled and linked arms with you, dragging you away to find Clary.

“I’m not doing anything.” You sighed. Again she giggled, glancing over her shoulder at her sibling and then back at you with a knowing look.


“Woah there, where do you think you’re going in such a hurry?” Izzy yelled as you both caught Clary and Jace running through the corridors.

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