valued

If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to paint. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. If you want to live ecstatically, find the ecstasy within yourself. This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch.
—  Victoria Erickson

Mayuta’s Rap

I’m sorry. It was out of the blue.

I’ve always been watching.

The snapdragons here are vibrant

As if it’s an incident.

The way you water all of them all on your own every day is enchanting.

I want to say that

My heart sinks.

I live here, too, and whenever I see these flowers, I get encouraged. I’m always reserved and hide behind people.

I can’t talk the way I want to.

But I still wanna say -

Don’t wanna regret -

I kept on getting intimidated

Over and over again until now.

Even I can do better.

I’m not outdone by the other guys in the team in any way.

Always screaming inside my heart,

But it won’t get heard,

Seriously, I have to say it with my mouth:

I hate myself.

I always mope around.

I know I want to change. Still, I’m trying with all my heart.

My name is Mayuta.

Mayuta, Mayuta, Mayuta. Before I knew it, I’m Kukun,

Treated as if I’m

everyone’s hanger-on,

The name I got used to - I’ve noticed there’s no one looking at what I do, they don’t take notice, notice me more!

Someone, please, notice me.

I’m always anxious wherever I am.

No matter what I do, I can’t take that

Step forward when it’s just one more push.

Truthfully, I have a dream, too

A shining, bright future

Still wrapped in a cocoon. Even if I’m junk like that, I’ll aim to become a butterfly just like it says on my fingers.

I’ll amaze Wamu, Gabi, Babo, and Hie, draw a vision in a dream, I’ll do it!

A challenge just for me - you get it, right?

You hear this, right?

You can see me as I sing this, right?

Someone, please, like me as I am, and let me like myself more.