value of a woman

“A woman or man of value doesn’t love you because of what he or she wants you to be or do for them. He or she loves you because your combined souls understand one another, complements each other, and make sense above any other person in this world. You each share a part of their soul’s mirror and see each other’s light reflected in it clearly. You can easily speak from the heart and feel safe doing so. Both of you have been traveling a parallel road your entire life. Without each other’s presence, you feel like an old friend or family member was lost. It bothers you, not because you have given it too much meaning, but because God did. This is the type of person you don’t have to fight for because you can’t get rid of them and your heart doesn’t want them to leave anyways.”

– Shannon L. Alder-

10

For we will be wicked, and we will be fair 
And they’ll call us such names, and we really won’t care
So, go tell your Wendys, your Susans, your Janes
There’s a place they can go if they’re tired of chains

My whole problem with the “I do makeup for ME! I’m EMPOWERED when I put on makeup!” discourse is that it completely erases the fact that women aren’t actually given the ability to MAKE that choice. It’s impossible to say that you’re doing it for self empowerment, or that “if it wasn’t so much fun I wouldn’t do it” because that’s just not true. Women who enjoy doing their makeup and women who don’t enjoy doing it both have equal pressure to wear makeup. Whether you enjoy the process or not, you will be taken less seriously as a woman, valued less, respected less, considered ‘unprofessional’ at work, etc. if you choose not to wear makeup. Men aren’t faced with the decision to get an extra hour of sleep or to be taken seriously. By writing it off as a cool empowering fun thing women do as an exciting entertaining hobby we’re just…. erasing the entire institution of makeup and of beauty standards that seriously harm women. If you enjoy doing makeup that’s great, that’s fine, and you should keep it up! But wearing makeup in the first place wasn’t ever your choice. We don’t GET a choice. I hate people saying “oh you don’t have to wear it! If you don’t like makeup don’t put it on!” As if I’m expected to just be cool with the way the world will treat me if I don’t conform to modern beauty standards! If you’re worrying about your eyebrows or lip plumpness or skin tone evenness that’s not you making a free willed cool decision to feel insecure and concerned about facial features that men never have to think twice about. That’s you thinking in a way you’ve been trained to think! And people wanna pretend that putting on makeup is Empowering… what the hell is empowering about making a choice that’s been forced on us since we were old enough to be seen as sexual objects lmfao… that’s bullshit that doesn’t empower me and having to give up valuable time and money and energy that men are never asked to give up makes me feel like shit!! It makes me miserable! It makes me dread every single morning because I know I’m gonna be putting forward all this bullshit labor just to exist and be taken seriously in my stupid body

I want to see Greek gods in the modern era.

I want to see Zeus in a tailored suit and shaggy beard, a walking disparity of the loud, brash, post-graduate frat boy variety who can’t pass a woman on the street without catcalls, who has more one-night stands than he could possibly keep in his head, for whom adultery comes as naturally as the weather he predicts on the Channel 4 News—with startlingly accuracy, and an endless wealth of charisma.

I want to see Hera walking tall, six-inch heels and not a wrinkle in her skirt, knowing her boyfriend is cheating, and knowing with equal certainty that she is better, stronger, fiercer than he will ever be, a wedding planner with an eye of steel, spotting vulnerability, slicing it open, teaching every woman who crosses her path to value themselves over any mistake made in the name of men and love.

I want to see Poseidon in Olympic prime, a gym rat who skives off class to shatter backstroke records, who spends his summers lifeguarding at the city pool, who keeps an ever-expanding aquarium in his bedroom and coaxes all the pretty girls up to visit his fish, his charm as impressive as the earth-rending temper he generally uses to fuel his competitive nature.

I want to see Hades, big, hulking, quieter than his brothers would ever think to be, who dresses in neat dark clothes, and polishes his boots, and spends more time reading than fighting, who debates eventuality and ethics, who stoically reminds everyone how enormous, how terrifying, how inescapable a thing like silent inevitability can be.

I want to see Hermes in a beanie, with watercolor splashes of tattoo crawling up his arms and holes in his Chucks, a bike messenger with no helmet, no regard for the rules of the road, all cataclysmic laughter, lock-pick tricks passed along to every kid who thinks to ask, thumbing through his iPhone without a care in the world.

I want to see Athena with reading glasses pushed high on her head, six books in her bag and a switchblade in her back pocket, her clothing as neatly ordered as her mind is feverish, brilliance and temper clashing and blending, doing her best to look dignified—even when her brain chemistry rockets ahead of her well-intentioned plans.

I want to see Apollo splattered with acrylics, board shorts and Monster headphones and a beautiful classic car, busking on street corners, not because he has no choice, but because the sunlight catching on a sticker-patterned acoustic is summer incarnate, because music is blood, because the act of creation is the ultimate in sublime.

I want to see Artemis in ripped jeans and haphazard topknot, star of the soccer team, the track team, the archery team, who rides a motorcycle, and keeps a tribe of girls around her at all times, and does not care for men, for expectation, for anything but volunteer hours down at the local animal shelter and falling asleep under the stars.

I want to see Aphrodite in sundress and scarf, homemade jewelry and lavish amounts of bright red lipstick, who is excellent at public speaking, at theater auditions, at soothing bruised egos and sparking epic fights, who kisses as easily as she breathes and scrawls poetry onto bathroom stalls.

I want to see Ares all but living in the boxing ring, cutoff shirts and sweats, red-faced under a crew cut as he punches, punches, punches until the noise in his head dims, a warrior with no war, all crude jokes and blind fury, totally incapable of understanding what it is to sit, think, plan before running screaming into the fray.

I want to see Demeter with the best garden you’ve seen in your life, with a lawn care business she runs out of her garage, a teenage prodigy grown into a joint-custody single mother, who teaches her carefree daughter all she knows while scaring off the hopeful neighborhood boys with the pet python draped across her shoulders.

I want to see Dionysus with a joint in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, baggy hoodies and three-week-old jeans, who brews his own beer in his basement and greets all visitors with a fresh pack of Oreos and half-stoned theories of the universe, of birth and death and partying mid-week, because why not, man?

I want to see Hephaestus with a workshop taking up the majority of his house, whose kitchen is overrun with blowtorches, whose bathrooms are home to all manner of hodge-podge invention, who walks with a cane and forgets his laundry for weeks at a time, and strings together the most beautiful steampunk costumes at any convention at the drop of a hat.

I want to see wood nymphs fighting against climate change, waving their signs and pushing for scientific progress. I want to see epic heroes sitting down to Magic: The Gathering tournaments, poker brawls, Call of Duty all-nighters with beer and snapbacks. I want to see Medusa working a women’s shelter, want to see Achilles training for deployment, want to see Prometheus serving endless community service stints for what he calls providing necessary welfare with stolen goods.

Give me modern mythology. I could play for hours in that sandbox.

I want you all to look at this picture. What do you see?

Let me tell you what I see.

First of all, yes, I see that her breasts are cupped by armor that appears to resemble demon hands groping her. I also notice that she’s not wearing pants. While the overall wardrobe is unique in that I’ve never seen anything quite like it before - no two fantasy armors are ever really alike - it’s also a typical fantasy armor for a female character, with quite a bit of sex appeal to it.

But you want to know what else I see?

I see a tiara. This tells me that either she’s a regal figure of utmost importance, or she’s a successful adventurer with enough gold to afford expensive and enchanted equipment. I see demonic imagery all over her - her pauldron, her belt, and particularly the beelzebub-looking faces on her swords, meant to inspire fear in her opponents. I see a pair of double-edged longswords, and the person holding them has the muscular, toned body of a woman who knows damn well how to use them. The emblem on her cloth tells me she fights for some kind of city or homeland, so she fights with the lives of thousands in the back of her mind. Most of all, I see her face. Strikingly beautiful, but wearing a look of battle-hardened, steeled determination. She’s about to fight something, she’s about to kill something. This is a woman I would not want to fuck with.

And yet, what would feminists, and critics of fantasy games see?

Just a slutty-dressed woman in a sexual outfit with breasts too big.

Feminists, critics, they would reduce this woman to what she’s wearing. Hell, not even what she’s wearing, but strictly how ‘sexy’ what she’s wearing is. They’d reduce this woman to the size of her breasts and how much leg she’s showing. They would reduce this character’s value as a woman down to one single factor: how sexy she is.

Now tell me, who is really objectifying women - the people who like this kind of attire, or the people who don’t?

*~Venus Signs~*

Venus in Aries: Men with this placement are attracted to feisty, sassy, passionate women. They appeal to women by showing their boldness. Secretly, they want a woman to get on top and ride them! Women with Venus in Aries like to dominate a man, express sass, and they are full of va va voom as lovers! She gets herself in trouble as she sometimes speaks with a sharp tongue. She’ll just as easily knock someone down with her attitude, as she’ll stick up for herself without inhibition! Aphrodite carries a flaming torch thru unexplored lands, leading others behind her. Marching bravely, sometimes acting carelessly, she learns lessons the hard way as she assumes she knows what other people will say or how scenarios turn out. She doesn’t often look before she leaps, the vitality within her doesn’t have time to wait and think things thru; this could actually be a virtue in the sense that she can quickly respond to crisis. Acting on impulse propels her to be a go-getter; truth is, we need impulsive people just as much as we value cautious people. The zest in her soul drives her to persist, there’s hardly any joys she will have missed! Her adventurous spirit always finds something to do, in an instant, she rises anew.

Venus in Taurus: Men with this placement value commitment and stability in relationships. Either their lover is entirely committed to them or they don’t want a relationship at all. They savor comfort food and enjoy playing music. Their patience allows her to understand what’s going on before acting. Women with Venus in Taurus are very charming and have the ability to get along with many people because they have a pleasant disposition (unless other items in their chart indicate chaos). People with Venus in Taurus often indulge in sweets! Gee I wonder who raided the cookie jar? ;) Aphrodite basks in the sunlight, surrounded by the tenderness of newly sprouted daisies and newborn animals. Squirrels scurry up a budding tree, lizards saunter at her toes… She picks a fresh pair off the branch, playing a flute as the wind blows… Spring chicks chirp as she stops to smell the roses.

Venus in Gemini: Men with this will try to appeal to women by learning a variety of subjects, they know how to chat a woman into bed ;). They value women with intelligence. Venus in Gemini charms people on by being adaptable. Gaining knowledge is one of the greatest pleasures, as they can use their varied interests to appeal to many different love prospects. Their fickle nature is curious about many types of people that they don’t always know what they want. They can date around with a lighthearted attitude, appreciating people of various walks of life, cohorts, styles, and skillsets. A pleasing voice aids them in their talent of persuasion. Women with a Gemini Venus are curious to get with a variety of men (or women). The duality of Gemini may be inclined to attraction of more than one gender; or even power play, alternating between D/s roles. Kinks, toys, sex positions, and different kinds of sex are treated with an open mind, experimentation is playful! Venus in Gemini is a jester in love, sometimes they treat it like a game and don’t realize they’ve led someone on. They’d rather not be pinned down as they’re a natural flirt. Their intellect tends to be scattered, learning bits of many subjects without mastering any. They struggle with commitment in love or projects, unless other planets indicate otherwise. For the most part, they live to experience all that life has to offer, getting a taste of many flavors of romance, their sex life, food, and various art movements.

Venus in Cancer: The way to their heart is thru a home cooked meal. Their self-esteem is highest when they have a lifestyle that allows them to flow in their rhythms, they are likely not the type who thrive under pressure or like to be challenged, they’d rather experience security where they can allow their inner child to be expressed. Men with a Cancer Venus are attracted to nurturing women who are motherly. They may subconsciously seek women who resemble their mother, or women who heal their mommy issues. Women with Venus in Cancer express their femininity by intuiting how to appeal to others, they aren’t loud and proud with their female expression, more timid and imaginative. If she has honored the divine feminine, by caring for her body the way that feels right to her, she will shimmer with feminine mystique, pulling in men with her tides of alluring womanhood. Aphrodite dives in the dark creepy depths of the sea, unlocking secrets from a treasure chest buried under sand made of crushed up seashells that were formed thousands of years ago. A peek into the past, she yearns to feel the entire ocean in her heart, to swim in memories so vast… She carries an ocean jasper with her, to hold onto a lost love, she’ll never forget. She admires pearls with iridescence, hoping someone will cherish her essence.

Venus in Leo: Women with this can be bold and expressive, excited to pursue creative projects and they experience physical pleasure with vigor. Compliments make her swoon, she’s a well-groomed babe applying makeup oh so artfully. She is so bright and passionate, she can commit (as Leo is a fixed sign) but the fire of spontaneity can also enjoy flirting with someone just one time to validate herself as a bombshell. Men with Venus in Leo are attracted to confident women who are glamorous. They love to stroke a woman’s ego. Aphrodite dolls herself up with rosy cheeks, bright eye shadow, gold sequins contouring her dashing figure, her hairdo gains attention, and she speaks with pride from her juicy lips. She can daringly make out with someone she barely met.

Venus in Virgo: an earthly sensuality that is physically affectionate and turned off by those who brag. Discerning about how they give out their love, they know what they want in a partner and will not settle! They enjoy critiquing art and ideas. Men with a Virgo Venus respect women who value accuracy in the topics they speak of, and a woman who is willing to get down to work. They make a point to be courteous and considerate, as the Virgo archetype cares to put their best foot forward, realizing that you do need to care what others think in order to be a productive person. However, a life of nitty gritty work turns them cynical to the point of picking out the faults of others. The caution of Venus in Virgo is to become aware of one’s own negativity, learning to be more open and tolerant. These people are modest unless certain placements by the sun or Jupiter suggest otherwise. Aphrodite harvests the fruits of the earth for a feast, nourishing their loved ones with all the essential amino acids.

Venus in Libra: A soft sweet romantic who keeps an open mind, interested in others’ opinions. Libra is an ingenue, with many men drawn to her, she doesn’t want to hurt any of their feelings so she may accidentally lead them on! She can find the beauty in everyone, and she may need someone with strong Virgo in their chart to help her determine who is worth her time, and who may not have best intentions. Libra wishes to be the socialite, spending lots of time with many different kinds of friends without realizing how these friends are influencing her/his thoughts. Libra has that way of compromising discernment when it comes to the truth of a situation in order to go along with the viewpoint that is popular among their friends. A Venus in Libra girl will go along with what their man says, she probably likes to be dominated. An evolved Libra gathers a bunch of information, to seek justice and truth instead of what pleases others. Venus in Libra is very persuasive. With his/her friends, someone with Venus in Libra likes to make others feel included, their fair minded disposition brings everyone together with the goal of increasing harmony in this world.

Venus in Scorpio: This woman is daring and intense, she is not easily impressed! Her abilities of discernment and judgement protect her from getting hurt, but when they do get hurt, heartbreak stings them to the core… People with Venus in Scorpio radiate sexuality and like to have a dramatic appearance and attitude. Men with Venus in Scorpio have a dangerous appeal, they’ve explored darkness that many cannot handle and they might even be kinky. There has to be a genuine emotional connection in your relationships or else you’ll feel unfulfilled. Venus in Scorpio has a chaotic love life as they are addicted to feeling a love that shakes them to the bones! Aphrodite dangles spider webs from her fingertips, her skin is pale as she’s been plotting revenge in her cave instead of basking in the light, she brews a potion of hypnosis in her cauldron; whoever drinks it is doomed to fall madly in love with her… She likes knowing she has power over others, she doesn’t care for diplomacy unless if she’s using it to hide her suspicions…

Venus in Sagittarius: You enjoy dates where you’re exploring new territory, whether that be hiking trails, or conversing intriguing topics. You’re wild and adventurous in your love life even if you’re more cautious and sensible in other areas. Taking chances and trying new activities gives you a thrill. You’re curious about foreign cultures and other peoples’ perspectives. Men with Venus in Sagittarius desire women who are spontaneous and open minded, bonus points if she introduces him to new ideas and places. They tend to be loose with their money, as men with a Sagittarius Venus are generous to a fault, and put off by frugality. They’ll get caught up in the passion of the moment, using up too much of an item, to find themselves with none left later on. If someone with Venus in Sagittarius doesn’t have enough earth in their chart, they struggle with being unaware of consequences until the shit hits the fan. Aphrodite sings a prayer with 108 Tulsi beads, banging a gong under a pagoda, blowing a didgeridoo in the outback for dreamtime, hunting for mescalito in the Sonoran desert, trying a tribal dance on the savannah, playing a harp in the Scottish highlands with fairies…

Venus in Capricorn: You indulge in the pure physical sensation of sex and might not get so emotional about it (unless other factors in the chart say otherwise). You value good quality food and a love prospect has to meet certain standards of yours for you to commit to them, otherwise you enjoy entirely physical connections with the opposite sex. These people are cautious about falling in love, as they are hesitant to be tender and vulnerable in relationships. Men with Capricorn Venus value women with sensibility, superb taste in food, music, clothes, and art. They are horrendously turned off by people who are unrealistic, all over the place, impulsive, or assuming. They cannot stand it when people jump to conclusions, they’re “hold your horses” type of people. Aphrodite expresses herself in a classy suit, she may have flair but it is very refined. Her polished presentation of herself sets a respectable impression. It’s not that she never goes wild, but she waits for the correct time to do so. Underneath her self-conscious tendencies is a satyr enjoying themselves in the forest. Someone with Venus in Capricorn can thoroughly savor their connection to the earth, barefoot on the gems and minerals of the dirt, every pressure point of her toes receives the energy of the stones. Playing the pan flute while gaining a tan from sunbeams, eating their grapes one by one, sauntering thru meadows and mountains, having the patience to notice the mathematical beauty of the ferns in the Fibonacci sequence…

Venus in Aquarius: You appeal to others with adorable quirkiness. You may have the capacity to be detached during sex. From a psychological perspective, someone with an Aquarius Venus might have experienced a heartbreak or trauma that caused them to be detached in how they feel about relationships. Rationalizing one’s romantic life reinforces the idea of being in control of their feelings, even though their love life is chaotic. They can categorize lust from romance from lurve from infatuation, yet their feelings could be so erratic and unstable that they fool themselves into thinking they’re more logical when love isn’t meant to be logical. There can be a neurosis in attempting to understand relationship dynamics. A tendency to be kinky will make this person want to experiment with going wild in the bedroom. Unpredictable people hold their attention! They are turned on by people who stimulate their mind. Venus in Aquarius people value the broad spectrum of gender and sexuality, homophobes lose major points with them. Men with an Aquarius Venus are drawn to chatty women who flaunt their intellect and women who aren’t afraid of strange people. Aphrodite skips up the Ethernet cable, connecting humanity if the internet connection is stable. Networking a group together, harmonizing social dynamics for a grand plan. We’re comrades till the end, brainstorming ideas, testing theories, until you unfriend. Spurts of inspiration, an outcast in cynical contemplation. Seeking reactions by acting life a freakazoid, the free spirit could care less who’s annoyed!

Venus in Pisces gives you capacity to love freely, but the caution is that you put on “rose colored glasses” figuratively when it comes to love. You may put your love interests on a pedestal, getting caught up in the fantasy. You may fall for people who seem kinder than they turn out to be, as you can get carried away with your excitement, to the point of blinding yourself to the flaws of a love interest, only to get hurt in the end. You likely need to learn to understand boundaries, and be firm in sticking to them. Seeking pleasure in escapism, may enjoy having a glass of wine or smoke a bowl to release the pressure of the world. Men with a Pisces Venus are attracted to dreamy girls who go with the flow rather than women who challenge them. They value adaptability rather than someone stubborn. Aphrodite dreams endlessly, perceiving messages from the spirit world, peering into another reality… A sea of psychedelia stares back at her, where do all the whirlwinds lead? “How do I distinguish what I truly need?” Carried away on spending for indulgence, swept away by a new romance, she is enamored by her own brain chemistry. Lost in a blur of pure feeling, in her own world, the collective consciousness is revealing.

–Sellieve
Remember, any given planetary placement can be overruled by other factors in the chart. Most of us are contradictory people. Some of your other planets may interact with your Venus in a way that is harmonious or a clash. Feel free to ask me about it!
If you’re interested in a reading that synthesizes your Venus placement with the effects of your Mars, with the power of Pluto in your chart, along with the gifts of your Jupiter, contact me, and I am happy to write up a report about your chart! AcaiPsycheLife.tumblr.com/readings

It will forever tear me up whenever I am reminded of how Wonder Woman valued and exemplified empathy, kindness, idealism, and optimism (naive or otherwise). Balancing this fantastic juxtaposition of cute and tough, vulnerability and strength. Choosing to fight for goodness despite the presence of darkness. And then believing and embracing love as a weapon against this darkness. That movie was full of heart that I’m so overwhelmed with extreme emotions. It has further inspired me to always do what’s right and good for the welfare of other people and the betterment of this world. I genuinely wish it has and will also touch a great number of people’s lives.

meaning of Havana MV

Okay, so…

I. Scene 1: Camila with Juan1 and Juan2

Camila wore YELLOW (THE SUN: LMJ) Notice that Camila’s used the Yellow background in the song cover, as well as on her Fallon performance. Yellow. Like the Sun. Who loves the Sun? LMJ.

As to the characters, Juan 1 and Juan 2, the twins…- At the outset, there are two sides to a person, the side everyone sees and the side that none or only a few select get to see.

Juan 1 could be public Lauren and Juan 2, private Lauren. Now we all know that Lauren values her privacy.

Camila’s rxn to Juan1 on the bed with another woman— g!p usual reaction to Lauren’s PR relationships, thus:

Juan1: Laucy and everyone LMJ’s been paired with. PR. Didn’t we all think that Camila’s heart broke everytime an LMJ PR boy/girlfriend surfaced?

Juan2: the real LMJ. “So now you’re out of the closet?” “Yes, I did it all for you.”

Every now and then we’d come across the theory that indeed Lauren had to come out so Camila’s sexuality wouldn’t suffer further scrutiny. She’s not yet ready. Let her live.

*insert Juan2 proposal: WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE CAMREN RINGS* — also, this is Lauren. She came out last year (2016) remember.


Okay…next:

II. Scene 2: Lele, Grandma.. words of advice. Live your life. Camila going solo, pursuing her dreams, insisting that Havana be released.. she did all that.


III. Scene 3: Havana starts playing. — in the beginning we see Camila dancing with 2 men. I think they’re the beards she’s been paired with, whom she ‘rejected’ see how she pushed them away?

Camila dancing and then singing on stage.— Public figure/Singer/Performer/Celebrity Camila.


IV. Scene 4: ENTER TALL MALE (Noah).— at first we only see his silhouette against THE SUNLIGHT. AGAIN. Sun reference: LMJ. Their attraction became a distraction. Backstage they loved, fought, made up—aka CAMREN off-cam. Note: “NO WAY”. They wanna be together, everyone else doesn’t. The pressure became too much. You know how the story goes…


Scene 5: CAMILA CHOOSES HERSELF OVER LOVER. “I do love you, but I love me more.” Lover drives away, Camila cries.

—- back to reality —

Scene 5: Camila doesn’t like the ending: “So that’s it?? You end up alone??” To which the movie character Camila replies: “if you don’t like my story, GO WRITE YOUR OWN.” And so real life Camila heads out of the theater.

Scene 6: Camila meets TALL MALE IRL (LMJ). Instantly they’re pulled close together, and they dance.— Clearly, they’re MEANT TO BE. They can’t escape their fate. The reason their LIFE PATHS CROSSED IS CUZ CAMREN IS ENDGAME.

(Like what Lauren said about why her favorite song off of 7/27 is “No Way”) ❤️🌹❤️


Thank you for sharing the Havana mv (and your story) with us, Camila Cabello.

Camren is real. Camren is endgame.🦋

We need female-only atheist spaces. Women are affected by patriarchal religions in some really harmful, sex-specific ways that need to be discussed away from obnoxious white male atheists. I’ve had enough Bill Maher and Richard Dawkins quotes for one lifetime.

I want to talk about how being taught that the all powerful God is a man fucks up your sense of self worth and self esteem.

I want to talk about how being raised in a religion where men are the only figures of authority affects women’s self image and belief in their capabilities as leaders.

I want to talk about the fact that in the Catholic Church, priests get a salary and nuns don’t, and how there’s no equivalent of the Pope for nuns.

I want to talk about how the most important and well known woman in Christianity is given value and spiritual importance because of her virginity and acts as a passive vessel in a way that no man in Christianity does.

I want to talk about how Catholic women would have ten or twelve kids because the Church wouldn’t let them use birth control and how this literally killed women.

I want to talk about how Christianity claims to be pro-life, but women can’t get abortions in Catholic hospitals even if they will literally die without one.

I want to talk about the horrors of the Magdalene Laundries and polygamy and honor killings and arranged marriages to men twice or three times their age and all the other shit women are put through in the name of religion.

This isn’t even MENTIONING all the shit that lesbians have to deal with. We need better atheist spaces online, ones that emphasize healing and unlearning harmful shit over posting the same quotes from the same white men and the same memes that boil down to “Lol religious people are stupid”

The world is kinder to pretty women and that’s always going to sting.

10

THEY ARE ALL OKAY, and all those things could exist in THE SAME WOMAN. Women shouldn’t be valued because we are strong, or kick-ass, but because we are people. So don’t focus on writing characters who are strong. Write characters who are peoplea. How well you play? That’s up to you. [insp x]

Can we get rid of the idea that a woman’s value is diminished if she cares for someone? That a strong, competent, self-possessed woman loses some part of that if she experiences attraction or affection, particularly if the object of these is someone who has done terrible things or is at best morally ambiguous? Can we stop equating love with weakness and compassion as a personal failing?

Sigh.  

anonymous asked:

please tell me what you thought!! I'm not worried about spoilers, i already know what happened, i'm gonna see it in a few days and i'm so psyched! tell me all your thoughts please!!!

I am so charged up about this movie I don’t even know where to fucking start!!! I guess I’ll start with my initial Twitter rant bc GODDDAAAAMMMMNNNN!

Here’s some non-spoilery things about the movie for those who don’t want to be spoiled:

  • Mother! is a horror movie for every woman whose pain was ever used & romanticized to further a man’s personal growth.
  • Mother! is a horror movie for women who have invested and fallen in love with a selfish man.
  • Mother! is a horror movie for women who feel the constant suffocating entitlement of the patriarchy.
  • Mother! is a horror movie for women who feel they’ve been constantly taken advantage of and are demonized for daring to speak up about it.
  • Mother! is a horror movie version of The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. (And I said this BEFORE I saw this tweet by the director 😍)
  • Mother! is a horror movie for any woman who was only valued as a cure for a man’s pain instead of valued as a full, human person.

  • Mother! is a horror movie for women who were treated like IRL manic pixie dream girls and then tossed aside like garbage. 

Also I found it able to tap into horrors of being a woman that were subtle and specific in a slightly Get Out kind of way, imho. I felt very understood in many ways even as I was being horrified by what I was seeing. 

Below are some spoilery things:

The movie opens with a woman burning, a tear falling down her face, and then her turning to ash. Javier Bardem sets a gem stone on a stand and then a beautiful home surrounded by nature appears out of the ashes. I knew as soon as Javier Bardem’s character sat that gem on the mantel and the scene turned to Jennifer Lawrence appearing out of the ashes in bed that that is where the movie would end, and it would end with another girl in her place. 

AND IT DID. For a bit there at the end, I was wondering where it was headed because of the chaos, and I nearly forgot about the gem itself, but then we ended right where I expected. What I didn’t forsee was what the gem was made of: it was the last thing that Bardem’s character could squeeze out of his previous lover before she turned to ash, something beautiful that he could put on display before he started it all over again with someone new. 

GOD-FUCKING-DAMN

This movie is about a woman who gives all of herself (physically, literally, spiritually, emotionally, horrifically) to a man because she loves him, because it is expected, because she thinks he will view it as love, and it is never enough. He never stops taking from her, not even when there are literal mobs in their home tearing the physical house apart, stealing their belongings. At one point an actual war spills into their house and she barely escapes with the life of herself and the child she is about to give birth to. When she begs her husband to send these people away, he refuses because they stroke his ego. 

I don’t think the chaos of the previous 10 minutes of the film before she asks this question nor her struggle through them were literal but rather a representation of how it feels to be in her position, where she’s tried everything to be enough for this man for as long as she has been with him, rebuilt his house by hand, made it a home, served all his guests and fans without complaint, and even carried his child. She finally started believing with her pregnancy that she was going to win him over and be with just him, that this would be the key to finally meeting that standard of enough, but that was never who he was ever going to be for her, even as a father. And when she realizes, at 8 months pregnant, that his true love is still himself, his writing, and his fans, despite his child growing in her womb, she felt her world slip. The insanity of the the wars, the executions, the mobs in the house weren’t real but that’s how it felt. Her world was crumbling and she’d never regain any control again. 

In the end he even invites his fans to hold their baby and the baby ends up dying. It’s horrific and disgusting, and what does he say to her? He tells her that it can be something beautiful and encourages her to forgive, that there is nothing more beautiful than forgiveness, so they must. As if she doesn’t have rights to feeling ugliness in the face of losing her child. I felt suffocated myself by this immediately invalidation of even the most understandable and vulnerable of feelings. 

There are other moments like this throughout the movie where Jennifer Lawrence’s character is trying to speak up and voice her needs but it’s like shouting into a pillow as she asks politely and reasonably. No one listens or seems to care, especially not her husband. He seems to only placate her lovingly when he can tell she needs to feel he’s heard her, but he never really does or cares to try to actually listen to her. This last time, when she is weeping about her son being murdered by the people he allowed into their house, is the last straw and she calls the people around her what they are: MURDERERS. And because she finally yells and screams at them, they beat the everloving shit out of her and call her names like whore and bitch and cunt, etc etc. 

So she makes her way down to the furnace and burns the fucker down. GIRL YES BURN THAT BITCH TO THE GROUND.

And yet after the explosion that incinerates it all, guess who is intact and who is charred to the bone. Javier Barden, completely complete, carries Jennifer Lawrence, a burned, scaley version of herself, through the rubble of the house. She can’t understand how he is able to do this when she and everything she built is destroyed. 

She asks, “What are you?”
He replies, “I am life.”
She asks, ”What am I?”
He replies, “You are home.”

You don’t have to be sexualized to still be objectified and if this isn’t exactly the damaging dynamic in so many male/female relationships, I don’t know what is. He is what life is and she is where he gets to live. Does she have her own life, her own plans, her own goals, her own space? It doesn’t matter, she exists to house him. 

She asks, “Where are you taking me?”
He replies, “To the beginning.”

He lays her on the charred bed and tells her there is one more thing he needs from her. She says she has nothing left to give. He says that isn’t true, he wants her love. She relents. “Take it.” He digs physically into her abdomen and pulls something bloody and charred out. Jennifer Lawrence’s character turns to ash and the mess in Javier Bardem’s character’s hands turns into a gem. He marvels at how beautiful a thing it is, the only thing left of his lover. He doesn’t grieve that she is nothing but a pile of ash now, he sets the gem up where the old one once sat and the opening scene repeats with a new girl waking in their bed, signifying that this is what this man does to women and what he will continue to do. He doesn’t learn his lesson or change because he doesn’t value the women he is with enough to see their pain as destruction. Instead, he only sees it for how it can benefit him.

She is ash. He is whole. A parasite going from woman to woman. 

To me, one of the scariest elements of this movie is that Javier Bardem’s character himself isn’t really that scary, he’s not a horror. He’s even sweet sometimes, albeit neglectful af. What’s smart and unfortunately really relatbale about this is it makes him seem like (if not a good guy at least) an okay guy. He’s not evil. She doesn’t befall this horrible fate because he is malicious. It’s a Nice Guy who just wants to Create something Beautiful. But in the process he fucking destroys and sucks the entire life out of the woman he is supposed to love with no remorse at all. There are so many fucking men out there who do this very thing to every woman they are with, emotionally and mentally. Sometimes physically, too, but that’s easier to pinpoint. The horror of Javier Bardem in Mother! is that he could be and really kind of is many of the men we will come in contact with. 

(Bro I know I’ve fallen in love with and had this done to me by one ALREADY)

My thoughts on how this movie has been received:

What blows my MIND is that large groups of people DO NOT GET this movie and I think it’s because it is largely and almost exclusively a fundamental female experience. There are whole hot takes and think pieces trying to figure out HMMM WHAT IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT???? when like…to me, it was obvious and direct in my opinion. I’m not trying to be a bitch about it, like I’m smarter than everyone. I understand that I get it because it’s for me, it’s about a female perspective, but to say it’s about nothing is ASININE. Which many of them are saying. 

If you don’t like the way this movie told its story, that’s fine and fair. We all have different tastes. But if you don’t get the message and therefore want to criticize what it’s trying to say because you think it was pointless, maybe THINK AGAIN. It didn’t fail because you PERSONALLY don’t get it. It maybe just means that there are other experiences in this world and you’re lucky enough to have never had to understand what this movie is saying, the feelings it evokes in many viewers, or the horrors it represents for them. And most likely never will.  If the movie is just not for you I GET THAT bc damn it was rough, IT WAS HARD, it was awful. But it wasn’t about nothing. If you didn’t see the point, be thankful.

There were some think pieces analyzing it and coming to the conclusion that it was about global warming and the Catholic church, which there was definitely some imagery for but that for SURE was not the POINT. If you thought Mother! was just about taking on the Catholic Church while identifying the other ‘weird’ stuff in it as just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you MAY be ignoring the literal title character of the movie & her entire emotional journey throughout the whole thing. 

Which, SHOCKER, is like… the point of the entire movie. 

Good job I GUESS. But you still missed point by proving it. 

I mean, I get it, make it about whatever resonates with you, but it is undeniably about a fundamentally female experience. No wonder it’s being overlooked. "Gee what could this movie entitled ‘Mother!’ be about? Should we look at the mother character in the movie?? OR HOW ABOUT we just dive into the symbolism surrounding the woman instead while ignoring her completely.“ 👍🏻

To me it seemed any side-symbolism in that movie was to promote the dynamic of her giving all she was & him feeding off of it. Including any messianic imagery. As a smart, smart friend of mine said, “Men will of course deify themselves all the time.” That’s EXACTLY what the religious imagery was about, about Javier Bardem’s character living out his desire to be a god to his fans for his own ego, so deep that he let them devour his own child. It was about the church but it was only in service TO EMPHASIZE HOW HE CONSUMES HER AND WHAT SHE HAS GIVEN. Like… LORD help me. (No pun intended.)

I cannot believe a horror film about a female experience is so baffling for people to understand when we’re half the people out there. “WHAT IS IT ABOUT?????” It’s about what she’s showing you it’s about. PAY ATTENTION!! 

But how poetic (ew gross) that many people who don’t get it write it off. It’s the same reason so often women are not believed and their experiences are questioned. No wonder women feel LIKE NO ONE LISTENS. <—- a direct line from Jennifer Lawrence’s character over and over in the movie.

It’s like there are people looking directly at this movie screen and seeing a blank black box for 75% of it. And here I am screaming into a pillow.

This is not to say that Mother! doesn’t take on many things, it does. There is a lot to unpack and it would be unfair of me to say there is only one way to read it. Of course there isn’t, and many parts are going to resonate with different people for different reasons. With that being said, though, to anyone trying to make the point of this movie about anything other than the experience of the female lead character, remember the gemstone and the burning woman at the beginning of the film, and then at the end. It is bookended this way for a reason. This is about the pattern of a man and how it affects the women he chooses to be with. This is about a woman who loves a selfish man who unapologetically lives selfishly and what it does to her to be in his life. 

It’s metaphors, it’s symbolism, obviously it’s hyperbolic, but it’s still REAL👏🏻AS👏🏻FUCK👏🏻.

Brienne is really important to me

The thing is, I need to believe that I can be loved for something other than the way I look. That I can be admired and respected for my ability. That I have value regardless of how I conform to societal expectations of how a woman should look. That I deserve friendship and romantic love because of who I am as a person even if I am ugly.

Men get these messages ALL THE TIME. All of the stories where someone has to learn to look past appearances at the inner beauty of a person, it’s a guy with the scars and the deformities. Women learn to love the monster with a heart of gold. The monster is never female. It never works in reverse.

Brienne of Tarth is ugly. She’s not just unconventional or out of fashion. She’s big and scarred and her nose is crooked and she’s missing teeth and people actually recoil when they see her. And she is one of the most lovable and heroic characters in ASOIAF. She has the most beautiful soul. And everyone who actually gets to know her, truly know her, grows to admire and respect her, and in one particular case, to love her.

This is why I fight people who want to insist, based on the tv show, that Brienne is pretty. No. No no no no. You are not taking this one away from me. Brienne is ugly. She starts out ugly, and in the course of the books she gets a chunk of her face ripped out just to underline the point. The actress who plays her on the show is beautiful, but Brienne of Tarth is ugly.

Brienne is ugly, AND she is deserving of love. And she’s kind and brave and the best swordsman in Westeros and so fucking Good it kills me. She is all of those things. She gets to be the truest knight in the entire story. She gets a love story with Jaime Lannister that’s all about looking past the surface* and building a deep bond of respect and trust with the last person either would ever expect. In the books at least, she is how we explore what it means to be a hero.

Brienne is an ugly, courageous, fascinating, loveable woman who’s beautiful on the inside and deserves the entire world. I need to believe that’s possible. For every dudebro who dismisses her importance to the story or discards even the possibility of Brienne as a serious love interest I love her even more. She’s one of my favorite characters of all time (for even more reasons than I’ve listed here) and I dearly hope the story will do her justice in the end.

******

*this is exactly why the subplot on the show with Tormund creeping on her pisses me off. The subtext flies right in the face of what’s wonderful about Brienne as a character and just blatantly presents as an admirable good that some guy can objectify her based on her looks, rather than taking the trouble to actually get to know and appreciate her as a person. Fuck that right in the eye. I’d take Hyle Hunt from the books over that nonsense, and Ser Hyle is objectively The Worst.