valentines to make your mother cry

Mother's Day weekend highlights from the flower shop
  • so many Very Tired dads and their Very Small children
  • tiny adorable child who insisted on picking the most heinous flower combination i have ever seen to make into a bouquet for their mum
  • Writing the phrase ‘happy mothers day’ on so many cards you begin to dream about it
  • “what do you mean there’s a two hour wait time i want this made up for me now”
  • “no I don’t want anything from the fully stocked floor I want something made up special”
  • roses roses everywhere
  • the one dude who spent more than I make in a fortnight on one arrangement “that’s enough for something big right?” MATE IT’LL WEIGH MORE THAN I DO
  • small child who ATE (!!!) part of a bouquet before their dad could stop them
  • leaf cuts aka paper cuts from hell
  • that one customer who tried to pry the locked front door open at 7:30pm on saturday night  
  • PEONIES
  •  leaves covering every single inch of the workspace
  • slipping on said leaves and landing in a bucket (you’ve been here for twelve hours now you don’t know whether to laugh or cry)
  • getting flower muck in your tea. drinking it anyway.
  • “yes i absolutely have time to talk about your wedding which is ten months away”
  • literally running out of every flower but geraniums
  • everyone HATES yellow flowers for some reason (?????)
  • the absolute euphoria of an emptied order file