(this is mostly crack of course. but i swear this is crack that makes sense.
I was reading about Feanorians again today (…at this rate I’m never gonna finish silm, because i’m too busy to read certain parts to read the others) and Feanor’s death scene got me thinking.
Let’s review shall we: this is a guy named “spirit of fire”. who burst into flames upon dying. and i bet with feanor’s character - that was a fucking explosion.
And it got me thinking - what would he be like locked away in the Halls?
I mean - we know, that feas are not just mindless floating clouds waiting to be put into the body and awaken again. They retain memories, they can speak (if only through Mandos), they can move about (Finwe is allowed to visit Vaire’s halls and look at tapestries if I’m not mistaken?), all in all they are pretty self-aware. Maybe even take humanoid appearance
So. That means Feanor who is stuck in the Halls… is still Feanor.
(Was he locked away like Melkor? I don’t remember how exactly he was supposed to spend his time in the halls, just that his stay is a reeeeaaally long one).
I don’t know about you, but I highly doubt having a self-aware kinda-semi-free-to-move-around Feanor locked away without anything to do would have a nice willy-nilly outcome.
I’m sure the first couple of centuries he would spend constantly yelling and cursing the Valar (no phisical body = no soar throat = yell all you want = kinda profit!?), if he is allowed to see what’s happening in middle-earth and withi his children - even longer. If not (and only those who look at tapestries see - than untill CCC arrival after the Kinslaying).
Then… then he gets bored. And I’m pretty sure Feanor getting bored is worse than heard of cats with a hive mind getting bored at the same time. Because Bored Feanor starts doing what Feanor knows best - he gets creative. And when Feanor gets creative… well, brilliant and terrible things happen when Feanor gets creative (just look at silmarills).
Not to mention in several centuries his children start arriving and his despise for Valar starts growing with each news of middle-earth and Melkor’s actions they bring him. And since all the other Valar are out of reach - he puts all of his brilliance and creativity to turning Mandos’s life into fucking hell.
(well, he can’t reach Mandos exactly, these are his halls after all, but he sure as hell can make a mess).
He ispects all of the Halls and despite it being impossible - learns the outlines, turns, how the turns change between time and space, where each and every fea resides (…not like his genious intelect has other things to do).
And there are still elves who are loyal to him in the Halls. His sons too. Not as many as once, more despise them now. But those who follow him are more than enough to stir the kind of shit the Halls have never seen (…nobody actually though possible to stir shit in the halls. Feanor is not anybody. And honestly, what are the Valar gonna do to him - refuse to re-embody him untill the end of Arda?)
Finwe is, of course, the last ever to find out. He even plans to petition Mandos and Vaire to allow Feanor a meeting with his mother at the tapestries as a reward for good behaviour..
I don’t know what and how he actually does, but I’m pretty sure somewhere along the lines a scene like this would take place:
Namo: I can’t take this anymore. OUT. ALL OF YOU OUT. I HAVE SOULS TO HEAL, NOBODY CAN BE HEALED AT THIS PLACE ANYMORE. MANWE AND MELKOR WITH YOU, GET OUT!
Feanor: Now why would I want to do that? My father is here, my mother is here, my sons are here, even my grandson is here. And my second eldest has yet to arrive - how can I leave him alone in this place after all those years he’d have spent wandering the shores of middle-earth?
Namo: Tyelperinquar, weren’t you supposed to be the good one? DEAL WITH YOUR FAMILY.
Tyelpe: …i don’t see why in the world you’d think i’d be able to handle my grandfather, father and uncles all at once when I’ve never been able to deal with either of them singularly in the past.
Namo: YOU DELT WITH SAURON.
Tyelpe: …i died at his hands. anyway, i gotta visit narvi, we have a new project, please don’t burden me with my family anymore.
Namo: …narvi the dwarf?
Curufin: Now look what you’ve done brat, he wasn’t supposed to know that.
Feanor: Leave the boy alone Curvo, if anything happens we can make another path to Aule’s Halls now that we know how.
Namo: THESE ARE MY HALLS HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE A PASS THROUGH AULE’S?
Feanor: …you weren’t looking?
Namo: ALL OF YOU GET OUT RIGHT NOW. LET IRMO AND ESTE DEAL WITH YOU, I CAN’T ANYMORE.
Family: MAKE US!
…i with i knew how the halls really work. because i’m pretty sure no matter what it’s like, self-aware Feanor being left to his devices till the Arda is remade is NOT a good idea wherever he’s stuck.