vain life

commission for shibooinu! :D thank you for the lovely request, it’s been nice to draw these two again!


favourite asian drama’s couples: Wang So and Hae Soo

Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo

“The late King Taejo’s last words were that life is fleeting. It is all short and in vain. He said that life is so short. But I think that he was wrong. You and I are together like this, so how it could be in vain?” 

“If we had met in another world and another time I was thinking how great that would have been. If only that could be… I wouldn’t fear anything. I could freely… Truly, I could freely love you all I wanted.”

She also considered very seriously what she would look like in a little cottage in the middle of the forest, dressed in a melancholy gray and holding communion only with the birds and trees; a life of retirement away from the vain world; a life into which no man came.
—  A.A. Milne
I Would Trust Her With My Life

There are countless moments in Rogue One that made me want to weep from joy. But chief among them is the scene where Mon Mothma tells Bail that he will need to send someone he trusts to find Obi Wan and he responds, “I would trust her with my life.”

On my first viewing, I loved that line for the mere surface level reference to Princess Leia. My heart did a little jump with glee at the clear tie in to the opening of A New Hope and that was enough to make me supremely happy.

The second time I saw Rogue One, I liked it a little bit more. Because it wasn’t just a throw away reference to Leia. It was also expertly written. It didn’t come at you like a neon sign screaming “I’M GOING TO SEND MY DAUGHTER, PRINCESS LEIA. SHE’S A LEAD IN THE OT. SHE’S ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC CHARACTERS IN CINEMA HISTORY. I’M GOING TO SEND HER ON THIS MISSION. AND SHE’S GOING TO GET CAPTURED AND THAT IS THE INCITING PLOT POINT TO THE ENTIRE STAR WARS UNIVERSE.”

It was subtle. It was clear and obvious who he was talking about, but it was a short and succinct line that was delivered with a lovely and affectionate tone that didn’t manage to distract from the mission at hand.

Now I’ve watched Rogue One for the first time in the comfort of my own home, and upon reflection I’ve realized that that line is far more important and amazing than I had already given it credit for.

Bail’s line “I would trust her with my life,” is not just a wink to the audience about the arrival of Leia. It is a deliberate and genius tie in of the major theme of Rogue One into the Original Trilogy.

For so long, Star Wars has always been Luke’s story. And it still is in many ways. But Leia (and Han) have always been sort of…secondary protagonists. They are extremely important to the plot and hold their own story lines, but their contribution to the trilogy takes a back seat to Luke’s main story. In the end, Luke helps to redeem Vader and destroy the Empire and the story comes to a conclusion through his efforts while his friends help.

But Rogue One and the inclusion of the line “I would trust her with my life,” completely reframes the idea of who was responsible for the end of the Empire.

When we meet Galen Erso in Rogue One, he is a man who has submitted to the idea that he no longer has agency over his own life and actions. In an effort to save his family and himself from the wrath of the Empire he has done terrible things and completely destroyed his name – his life as it were. Jyn is his only hope for redemption. With his dying breath, Galen trusts her implicitly to see that the Death Star is destroyed. But in addition to wanting the Death Star destroyed, his motives are also partially selfish. He also trusts that in destroying the Death Star she will vindicate his entire life and existence. He trusts that she will not let him down in redeeming his name throughout the galaxy. He trusts that she will ensure that his life is not reduced to an Imperial peon, but that his life is remembered as the life of a galactic hero.

And he’s right.

It was interesting to me that the writers chose to frame Bail’s line about Leia in such a way when we as an audience know that he will die upon his return to Alderaan when Leia is captured. But, like Galen, Bail is not trusting his daughter with his literal health and well-being. He is trusting her with his life’s work. His life’s purpose. His legacy.

Bail Organa birthed the rebellion. He sat in the room with the two remaining Jedi of the fallen order when they decided upon their final plan to one day return peace to the galaxy. He raised the very powerful daughter of a Jedi to believe in democracy, justice, and compassion so that when the day came that she learned about her power, she would not let it corrupt her.

Like Galen, Bail trusted his daughter implicitly to ensure that his legacy lived on forever. He trusted that through her continued efforts, he would not be remembered as a traitor to the Empire, but as a galactic hero and a father of democracy.  He trusted her to fight for freedom and justice and win. He trusted her to lead with compassion. He trusted her not to fall to the dark side. He trusted her never to give up on a fight that he dedicated his entire life to – even if the fight would never truly be over.

And, like Galen Erso, he was right.  

Star Wars has always been about the desire of a son to redeem the sins of his father. And that is a beautiful theme.

But now, with the addition of Rogue One and one throwaway line from Bail Organa, it is just as much about the trust of a father in his daughter. And the desire of a daughter to carry on her father’s legacy so that he will not have lived a life in vain.

And that is beautiful too.


Empress Alexandra Fyodorovna of Russia and her only son Tsesarevich Alexei Nikolaevich in 1906

The Empress’s favorite child, the one on whom all her thoughts were centred, was her boy. His illness was the tragedy of her happy home life. She could never feel for an hour that he was safe. The little accidents that are bound to happen to a lively child were grave dangers in his case. just because a fall was so serious to him he seemed always to be falling. When he hurt himself before any public function, the real reason was never given for his non-appearance. It was said that he had a cold or a sprained ankle. All he suffered in the course of his short life can scarcely be believed. It did not embitter him. It only seemed to give him a pity, unusual in a child, for the suffering of other people. He was a pretty child, tall for his age, with regular features, splendid dark blue eyes with a spark of mischief in them, brown hair, and an uptight figure. His frequent illnesses made him rather backward at his lessons, but he was very clever, with a good memory, and when he was well he worked hard to make up for lost time.

He was full of spirits and had quick powers of observation, a generous nature and very strong will. He had chosen as a motto the words of Peter the Great that he had found for himself in a book: “ Prayer to God and service to the Tsar will not be lost (i.e. in vain).”

Sophie Buxhoeveden: The Life and Tragedy of Alexandra Feodorovna

Lost Love

Requested: Yes by the lovely @messrs-howler (Previously known as fandomcupcake 101) 

Hey Tayrae! I know this is becoming a daily thing but I have another Sirius x Reader request. Basically in their sixth year at hogwarts, Sirius and Reader had been going out, but although the relationship seemed to be going fine and Reader had become somewhat of a fifth marauder, Sirius broke up with her. Time skip to order of the Phoenix the scene where everything is being explained to Harry and Reader walks in and like everything goes weird. Cause Sirius still likes Reader, and Reader still likes Sirius but Reader keeps telling herself that she can’t be with him cause he broke her heart. And it takes some time, but with the help of Harry (reader is his god mother) and Remus, Sirius and Reader end up back together. With this I would also like the prompts 61,64,66,71,72 and 80. Thanks!

Warnings: Cursing. Hurt. Sad themes.

Pairing: Sirius Black X Reader

Summary: What would have happened if there was someone in Harry’s life to  raise him and make sure he knew Sirius was innocent? What if you told Harry he didn’t do it? In this case he did, being Harry’s godmother and Sirius’s ex you made sure harry knew his godfather was innocent even if the certain marauder had broken your heart when he left you years ago. You had since then let the pain numb and tried moving on. But what happens when he comes back? And what happens if he never dies?

Prompt 61-  “You broke up with me! Remember?”

Prompt 64-  “I love you! You dick!”

Prompt 66-  “You broke my heart.”

Prompt 71-  “Get the bloody hell away from me!”

Prompt 72-  “Get the hell away from them!”

Prompt 80-  “Stop please.”

Authors Note: Thanks for your request! Hope you like it! Sorry it took so long! It’s a bit different than what you requested but I LOVE HOW THIS ONE CAME OUT! I’m so bloody proud of it! Ugh. Let me know what you think!

Originally posted by marinaelia

“(Y/n). We can’t do this anymore. I-”

“Stop please.”

“I can’t! You know what’s coming! I want you far away from me, from all of this.”

“I love you! I’m not breaking up with you! I won’t leave you, Sirius!”

“Well if you won’t then I will! I can not stand the thought of you getting hurt, Voldemort is here whether we like it or not. I am fighting and you are not. Please, for once just listen to me, get away from here.”

His voice was pleading, desperate for you to listen. His eyes gleamed with desperation and his face was filled with worry. He wanted you to leave, to get as far away from death eaters and the order as humanly possible. But how could you possibly leave the one person who means the most in the world to you? Besides Lilly and the other three marauders, he was all you had. The thought of leaving any of them left bile in the back of your throat but the thought of losing him burned your soul. He was a piece of you, always would be. 

You were torn, part of you wanted to listen to his pleads. You were trying to see the bigger picture. With Lilly and James excepting a child, they needed someone to be there for him in a state of emergency. You and Sirius had been dubbed the title of godparents, but with Sirius fighting and a target on the Potters back, you were all that would be left for his better outcome.

The other part of you screamed, stay. Fight and help your friends, your family. There was no guarantee of a future so why not risk your life with your loved ones at your side? Why not die doing something good rather than live your life in vain relinquishing all you could have done. It seemed silly to just run. It felt wrong. 


“(y/n) please. I need you alive. I need you safe.”

Tears clouded his dark eyes mimicking the tears in your own (y/e/c) ones. You could hear the pleading in his voice as he croaked out the words, you could fell the panic radiating through his bones, and you could see the cracks in his heart show through his facial expression. 

“We are over (y/n). I want you to leave. Get away from here. Away from me.”

With one last sorrowful glance and a passionate kiss that burned in the pit of your stomach, he was gone and you were broken. 

-Years Later.-

The pain had come all too strong in the beginning and had since then faded, but it never truly went away. The love of your life had vanished into thin air much like your hold on reality which only came back into your shaky hands when Harry was thrown into your life.

James and Lilly were dead, murdered by the one Sirius had feared would hurt you. Sirius himself was held up in Azkaban for that murder in itself. You didn’t believe he did it, you could never think that about him. He was a good person, had a good heart and soul. He loved James and adored Lilly, anyone who thought he played a part in their deaths was horribly mistaken. Sirius was good. He always had been. 

Despite the rumors running around you made sure Harry knew how good of a person his godfather was. The thought of him thinking ill of Sirius broke your heart. Harry would often come to you asking about his parents in which you would respond,

“Your mother was amazing. She was kind, beautiful and had this air that seemed to follow her. It was hard to be in the same room with her without smiling. She cared so deeply about things and never faltered when it came to putting your father in his place.”

You let out a slight laugh at the thought of Lilly. Your gorgeous best friend.

“Your dad was much like you. He too had a mess of black hair that seemed to stick out everywhere. He was a prankster and always knew how to cheer his friends up. He was fiercely protective, always stood up for us. He loved your mother unconditionally, with his whole heart. Both of your parents loved you, Harry. So much they died to save you. They would be proud of the young man you are becoming.”

It was in Harry’s third year when he took you unexpectedly with a question that shook your world. Sirius Black escaping prison was all over the news but you chose to just pretend it wasn’t happening it was just easier that way. Easier on your heart. 

It was on the train ride back to Hogwarts where you taught alongside Remus when Harry asked you,

“Tell me about my godfather.”

You had chocked slightly on the water you were drinking and Remus lifted his head to look at you.


“Yes. I want to know about him. You’ve always told me he was a good, but that’s not what everyone else seems to think.”

With a light sigh, you began,

“He was a good man. Is a good man. He had bad things happen to him but that never stopped him from seeing the light and goofing off with your father. It was in my fourth year when I meet him. He was known as the bad boy at the school so I vowed to stay away but he approached me one day and I fell. He was so sarcastic and goofy. He always knew how to make me laugh. He truly was an amazing person. I don’t want you to ever think otherwise. He may not have got to meet you but let me tell you something, I know he loves you. You are the product of two people he loved most in this world.”

“If he is that good of a person why does everyone think he killed them?”

“I don’t know what really happened I wasn’t there. But I know in my heart he didn’t do it. I think others know that too but it’s easier for them to blame him then try and see what really happened.”

You let your gaze drift to Remus who only responded with a slight shake of his head. Harry nodded and was silent the rest of the way to school. The train seemed to go by fast much like most of the year had. Because you hadn’t known Sirius contacted Harry and Remus, you hadn’t known of their plan. 

-A couple more years. Sirius clearly likes angst-

The mood in the wizarding world had become dark and worrisome ever since the news of he who shall not be named’s return. You still hadn’t seen or heard anything from or about Sirius which caused a dark shadow to cast over your life. You were furious at him for leaving you, for making you leave but you also couldn’t help and let your brain wonder if he cared enough to find you again. If he cared enough to want and be with you again. It had been years since he escaped and you hadn’t gotten anything from him. Not an owl, not a howler, nothing and that thought alone also broke you all over again.

At the same time you were asking yourself if you wanted to be with him again? If the opportunity arose would you take it? You were furious at him. First he had made you leave before you could even answer on your own, whether it was for your own protection or not you were mad. He knew how you felt about other people making decisions for you, on top of that, it had been literal years since his escape so if he was out there why hadn’t he even tried to get in touch? If he hadn’t tried then, why would he now? All this thinking was causing you a huge migraine, you thought it’d be best to just push it away besides how would you ever get your answer? You life seemed to be filled with a lot of what if’s lately and you were starting to have enough. It was to much stress and you were sure he was gone anyways.

Letting out a deep sigh you made your descent down the stairs of the home Harry, you and the other order members had been staying in. How you got there was a long, tiring story all that was important was that you where there now. You made your way to the kitchen when you heard mumbled voices coming from a room next to the staircase.

“She still doesn’t know.”

“You have to tell her.”

“She deserves to know he’s here!” 

With a curious demener you walked towards the room and opened the door. 

“Who doesn’t know w-”

The wind got knocked out of you and all the heads snapped towards you but your sight was glued to those familiar dark eyes. 


“Hello love.”

When his soft voice drifted through your ears you thought you might be sick. Angrily you walked out of the room and slammed shut the door. You were furious and confused, life seemed to be crumbling around you while simultaneously building its self back up. 

You walked outside the house and ran a hand through your hair taking in a shaky breath. You heard the door and looked up to see Remus and Harry looking at you nervously.

“You knew he was here?”

Remus nodded softly.

“How long?”

They both shifted in their spots avoiding your question which caused your anger to rise.

“How long?!”

Remus sighed and Harry spoke up.

“Since third year, when he escaped.”

With wide eyes and a hung open mouth the air left you all over again. 

“You didn’t tell me?!”

Remus spoke up finally.

“It wasn’t the right time. He was on the run. We wanted things to be right before you two saw each other again.”

He stopped talking and Harry took over.

“But then Voldemort came back and we didn’t know when or how to tell you.”

“It’s been years! Harry we have never kept secrets from each other, or at least I thought.”

You walked back inside the home and started to descent back up the stair. You were hurt, angry, sad, but most of all confused. You didn’t know ho to react. Did this change anything? How could they not tell you? 

“(Y/n). Please talk to me.”

You stopped in your tracks and turned to see Sirius at the bottom of the stairs, he was older now but he still had the same eyes and bad boy mentality about him that you adored so much. 

“I don’t want to talk to you Sirius! You left me! You forced me to leave you! And now your just back? It’s been years and you never even contacted me!”

He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his dark locks.

“I know. I’m so sorry (y/n). I know you’ve probably moved on and started a new life for yourself, a better life than I ever could have given you. But I missed you, I miss you. So bloody much.”

You stomped down the stairs until you stood in front of him, his eyes locked with yours and you felt butterflies but you pushed them down and let rage take over.

I love you! You dick! I still do and the thought of being with anyone else makes me sick but You broke up with me! Remember? You broke my heart!”

“(Y/n). It was for your safety. I won’t apologize for keeping you safe.”

He stepped closer to you, his breath hitting your face and warming up your body. You let out a scoff and stepped back slightly.

“Get the bloody hell away from me. Just stay away Sirius.”

With a shake of the head and urgent steps up the stairs you made it into your room and paced for what seemed like hours until you finally had enough and slid down the wall. You stayed in a dark corner of your room arms around your knees and let out all the tears you had been holding in. All the sobs that you swallowed to protect Harry. You were just so tried of trying to keep it together, of trying to be strong. If there was any moment you were aloud to be weak this was it.

Weeks passed and you returned to the school alongside Harry. You hadn’t spoken to Sirius since that morning, you pushed the thought of him best you could. It was just to much pain and stress. The days however had gone by smoothly compared to the storm brewing in your mind. Until one day when Harry came running into your office with worry apparent on his face. 

“Harry? What’s wrong?”

“Voldemort has Sirius. I need to get him back!”

Your heart dropped to your stomach as Harry paced back and forth. You had an idea, probably a stupid one but you weren’t thinking straight, hell, how could you? When the man you love finally comes back he’s just going to vanish again? You were starting to regret your pride getting in the way when you saw him. You didn’t get to kiss him, feel his arms around you.

“You are not going Harry. At least not alone. I’m going.”

Harry nodded and the both of you along with Luna, Neville, Ron, Hermonie, and Ginny, made it to where you were needed. Once there you realized Sirius wasn’t and it was a trap, leading the kids away from the death eaters you ended up in a small room by the veil. Spells were cast and you were protecting yourself and the kids to the best of your ability but couldn’t help and let out a sigh of relief when members from the order showed up. 

You finished off the death eater in front of you, knocking him unconscious and you turned to find Harry. He was standing behind Sirius who had just punched Lucius in the fact, you approached them when you noticed Bellatrix lift up her wand and aim it towards the two men you cared most about. 

You let out a gasp and raised your wand at her.

“Stay away from them!”

You shouted gaining not only her attention but the two boys as well. Bellatrix snarled and pointed her wand at you casting a spell towards you, with quick reflexes you blocked it and sent one back hitting her but not before she cast one knocking you off your feet and onto the ground with a thud. 

Sirius and Harry ran to your side frantically they looked at you. You put your hand up at them.

“I’m okay.”

The rest of the fight passed in a flash and you were all back at the house once occupied by the order. You held your now bruised side but made it up the stairs and to your old room, sitting on the bed you let out a sigh. You felt a moment of relief and where in pure bliss with the silence until the door opened and shut just quickly. Raising your head you saw a frustrated Sirius he ran his hands through his hair and paced in front of you.

“Can I help you?”

The words left your mouth in a light breathy noise due to the pain in your side.

“Why did you go there? Why would you let Harry go?! It was a trap and you put yourself in danger!”

He kept pacing and tugged at his hair almost like he wasn’t talking to you but to himself.

“Harry would have gone either way. I went to protect him.”

“But why were either of you even there!? You didn’t stop to think it was a trap?! What possessed you t-”

“We thought they had you.”

Your voice was quiet and you looked into his eyes when he stopped his movement. His face held a look of shock and you saw fear swimming in his dark irises. 

“You still shouldn’t have gone. It was reckless.”

Now getting aggravated you stood up, a small distance between you two.

“Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I just saved your ass back there! If it wasn’t for me you’d be dea-.”

He closed the gap and pressed his lips to yours, the amount of sparks radiating your bodies was incredible. You urgently met his lips and kept the kiss strong. Years of undissolved love and passion filled it and neither one of you wanted to stop it. He moved to push you against the bedroom door quickly but gently and you let out a gasp when your back hit the wood. He took advantage of this and deepened the kiss, his tongue searching your mouth. You kissed him back just as deep and wrapped your hands around his neck. Moment passed, slow but wonderful moments until he pulled away and looked into your (y/e/c) eyes. 

“I love you (y/f/n) (y/l/n). I always have and I am sorry for pushing you away but we are both here now, alive and healthy. Can’t we just enjoy that?”

With a nod you placed a soft kiss on his lips once more craving the feeling. You pulled away softly to speak.

“I love you Sirius Black, but you are never allowed to leave me again.”

“Trust me darling. I have no desire to ever leave again.”

His lips meet yours once again and you felt at peace for your lost love had returned to you.

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@petah-parkah-and-potahtas @messrs-howler @xxladybananaxx @lesfleurslily @hp-world-imagines

From the shadow of death you can no longer save Lúthien, for by her love she is now subject to it. You can turn from your fate and lead her into exile, seeking peace in vain while your life lasts. But if you will not deny your doom, then either Lúthien, being forsaken, must assuredly die alone, or she must with you challenge the fate that lies before you–hopeless, yet not certain.

Cancer is ruled by the moon ☾ and governs the home, family and past on an external level. Inwardly, she rules the soul powers, unconscious instinct, psychic sense, and the emotions of human nature. 

The home translates as the place known in form, and yet look closely and “home” is also the formless home; the soul & the midnight depths of oneself. Family is known as our blood kin, and yet look closer, family is who she lets into her private life, anyone she blesses with her moonlight. The past is that of childhood, but look further and the past is infinite, from ancestors to the unfathomable beginnings of time because she is the Creator.

She is the imaginative alchemist, where her dreamy nature is not in vain but solidifies into life, it is what makes her well versed in the matters of creation. This makes her Mother Midnight, ascending over beginnings and endings just as midnight ends an old day and simultaneously births a new one. She is the merger of form, esoterically where the soul meets matter (the human vessel). Cancer is spiritually linked to Neptune through a mystical umbilical cord, where the moon ☾ is pierced ♆ and creates a mass understanding of emotional pain and suffering in Cancer, fueling her empathetic love and thus her divine protection of all. 

Cancer, the World Mother, teaches us to access the soul powers and unlock sensitivity, emotion and empathy towards oneself and others. She teaches us to not live in the past, but to learn from it so that nostalgic qualms from long ago are healed through precious moments of the present. She shows us the true meaning of “family,” that relationships forced through biological reason are not stronger than bonds formed by emotional instinct. In this way, Cancer guides us all home.