vague minds

Entertainment Contract Excerpts

Today someone I know sent me some excerpts from a short-term entertainment contract.  This kind of entertainment doesn’t lend itself to long-term celebrity, though some notoriety can happen (and hopefully will for a some of these folks).

But the clauses were so outrageous that I wanted to share a bit. This is the best example I’ve seen, in contract language, of what 1D and Zayn have been up against. Because if a short-term player has to sign something this outrageous, you know that people that expected to be publicized in a far more traditional way have similar language in their contracts.

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Why does the snake mascot of Slytherin house mean Slytherins are sly and murderous
have you actually met a snake
my friend’s python is literally what you’d get if you took a fat spaghetti noodle, made it come to life, and gave it social anxiety
snakes are fat spaghetti noodles with social anxiety that flop on warm things, hide in themselves when threatened, lick things they’re not supposed to lick because curiosity, and accidentally get sucked into couches
THATs the dangerous clever and deadly mascot of Slytherin house


the stream was fun!! (after i stopped being really self-conscious!! it was fun i’ll try to do others in the future!)

anyway, meet ur new otp: Minori and Tsubomi

  • intimidatingly pretty gals that are gay and love and support each other
  • Tsubomi’s questionable cinnamon roll vibes
  • Minori’s inescapable dark undertones
  • first pic: theyre planning to meet up after school
  • second pic: just the purest thing…. the best… (theyre also holding hands)

i’ll try to finish the second one!!

anonymous asked:


I will be your hands, I will be your eyes

*shrugs* maybe people point out OP is a terf/terf-supporter because it can change the context (or rather, make it more clear) of the post, or maybe some people just really don’t want to interact with someone who supports people who are actively against them/hate them for who they are and I mean you can think whatever you want about that but dismissing them as childish/derailing is kinda naive

Antivan Crow training meta based on historical assassination training, brought to you by Bella

Disclaimer: this loosely references several historical assassination groups, mostly the Israeli sicarii, the original bad mf’ers

Canonically, we know the Crows take children and infants from various sources, usually elves, but humans and halfbreeds too. Zevran (elf) was purchased from a brothel, Taliesen (human) was found in a shipwreck, etc. Considering they were the only two in their group to survive, we can surmise that training is, predictably, brutal, and perhaps punctuated with one large, very dangerous test before officially becoming a member. We also know, thanks to Zevran in the Fade, that they are tortured to prove their pain endurance. This implies that they were tortured often over a long period of time to accustom them to it.

We can safely surmise that they are trained according to their strong points as they manifest, although all probably dabble in every aspect of training. We know Zevran specialized in poisons and seduction, Taliesen was ‘muscle’ and Rinna was a planner. It follows that the Crows would view training, for example, Zevran to be something like the muscle was a waste of time as it wasn’t his strong suit, leading us to believe training was customized after a certain point.

The fact that Rinna joined up with Taliesen and Zevran later after training implies (to me) that they are separated either by sex or age or both in training, which would make sense if they trained based on strengths and skills and not a base training for all types.

Antiva is not known for a wide array of weather, which makes me think some branches would employ mages to recreate snow, storms, high winds, whatever weather for which they need to train, since they travel for assassinations.

I would also imagine they would develop immunities to certain poisons through slow-dosing to either avoid mishaps or to weed out the weak. Canonically, they have no problem killing young trainees if they make a mistake

Languages seem important too, especially for espionage and date gathering. I would expect them to be well-versed in most commonly spoken languages, especially since it’s easier to learn tongues in childhood. In a similar vein, they are probably schooled in cultures as well, since they might need to blend in with marks and victims. This would be greetings, faux pas, military ranks, noble addresses, prominent or notable people and trends, etc. 

Physically, endurance training would be crucial. Hiding, running, climbing, hot and cold exposure, swimming, breath holding, etc. Some assassins historically could hold their breath up to seven minutes to hide in the water or pull others under with them. (Fun fact, the world record breath-holder was a freediver and held it for 22 minutes. What the fuck.)


  • Stamina training
  • At least basic maths and reading

  • Weather endurance training

  • Weapon training

  • Cultural training

  • Language training

  • Herbal training (poisons and self care)

  • Tactical or strategic training

  • Charm school/sex ed (for the seductionz)
Lurk (Joshler) Part One

Originally posted by alovelyblur

Pairings: fuckboy!josh x shy tyler/ Warnings: knife play, blood kink, bdsm, dark themes/ a/n; this is kinda a pilot chapter if you catch my drift. i’m not sure if i’ll continue it, depends on if you like it or not. if it carries on, it’s going to be intense. i don’t see many hardcore joshler fics, i don’t really get hot off the fluffy stuff as much. i figured some of you are the same. anyway… hope you like it sluts xo

“He’s closeted. It’s fucking obvious Ty. Captain of the football team, the jockiest jock you will ever meet, head so far up his own ass he can probably see out of his mouth. Y’know, he’s probably crushing on you too.”

Tyler scoffed, turning to face his best friend with a look of amused annoyance. “Please, you could run a brothel with the amount of girls he’s slept with.” He turned back towards the boy over the other side of the cafeteria. Red hair, pierced nose, white tunnels and a body that sent even Tyler Joseph’s vaguely innocent mind down the gutter.

“He’s trying to convince himself and the world that he wouldn’t rather stick it in you.” The black haired boy beside him spoke bluntly.

“You’re disgusting Brendon.” Tyler grimaced.

“I’m right.”

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I’m screaming because I decided to combine these two requests and it ended up longer and more convoluted than expected BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT AAA @chiimei @anonymous Thank you for sending them in! c:

From the prompt list (x) || Ao3 link (x)

It wasn’t the first time he’d thrown himself in the line of fire to protect her, and while Ladybug was always grateful to have someone always looking out for her, she couldn’t help but worry that one day irreparable damage would be done to him and she would be without her partner.

Chat Noir was reckless and often in peril, and most of the time it was because he was covering for her in one way or another. As years of their partnership went on, her fear of losing him built up over time. The only thing she could do was build a dam over the river that was her feelings on the matter, because she knew Chat Noir only wanted to protect her, and she couldn’t fault him for that.  

Today’s akuma attack, where she actually saw a sword go through her partner’s stomach, broke that dam in one fell swoop.

It all spilled out and she completely freaked out, and when Marinette freaked out she lost sight of everything and anything in her immediate vicinity, and it was by sheer luck that she had her freak-out in a completely secluded area with only Chat Noir as witness.

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