vagiggle jaggle

REASONS 2 LOVE COCONUT OIL
  • ladies, shaving ~down there~ is UNCOMFORTABLE AS HELL with a side dash of pain, and it always has been that way for me but i s2g if u replace shaving cream or w/e your ritzy ass uses with COCONUT OIL ur netherlands will be as smooth and painless as a coconut. i melt it and put it in an old spray bottle that i keep in the shower (and it stays melted because idk my bff science) and spray that shit on everywhere you’d put shaving cream and then shave all ur bits it is actually a pleasant experience if you overlook the SHATTERING FEER THAT U ARE GOING TO SHAVE UR CLITORIS OFF THAT HAS NEVER DISSIPATED EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF AVOIDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!
  • u can also apply my vagiggle jaggle shaving technique to ur legs and armpit shaving (if ur in2 that thing) and have KISSABLY SOFT ARMPITS which is what every girl wants. dont u lie to me. i know we all with our S/O would stop making out with our faces and our crotches and focus on MAKING OUT W/ OUR ARMPITS INSTEAD. two armpits. twice the fun. sorry i’m human trash.
  • if u do not shave at all i salut u but would also like to open your eyes to the world of COCONUT OIL ON LITERALLY EVERY SURFACE INSIDE AND OUT OF YOUR BODY EXCEPT FOR YOUR EYES AND DEEP INSIDE YOUR EARS PROBABLY BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT WOULD BE HART TO REMOVE AND/OR POSSIBLY BLINDING
  • ~personal massage oil~ if you don’t mind smelling like a piña colada while ya get nasty (tho u should BEWARE: oils totally pulverize condoms)
  • when i get these, like, random dry spots on my face (I have otherwise oily skin) i will put some coconut oil on my face liberally, but not like DRIPPING liberally u kno, and rub it in reeeeaal well for like 10 mins or w/e (just not 2 long or u might break out!) and after enough circular massaging or ur beautiful face the dry skin will melt off and into the oil and then i wash my face lightly with my usual cleanser and, for once in my life, my face is smoother than the inside of my arm pits
  • i also like to spray it lightly on my all skin w/ my trusty bottle and rub it with a towel and my hands until you don’t look oily, just smooth like a bab,,y,,,s… arm piT sorry
  • i don’t like to talk about food but RUMOUR HAS IT coconut oil is a pretty good and yum food to eat. i use it instead of butter (imagine if ur toast tasted like coconuts instead of toast! YEAH! EXACTLY!!!) and also put lumps of it into smoothies for the good coconut taste. it’s also possibly slimming but I LIKE U THE WAY U ARE (and don’t trust the science backing that claim up)
  • do not forget the classic coconut oil hair mask. i let it sit for 2-8 hours (depending on if i have decided to have a lil snooze – the longer the better!) then rinse it out w/ two really thorough shampooins and then condition. i have UNNATURAL blonde hair and i blow it dry every day and i s2g coconut oil (tbh and the expensive hair masks I walk into stores and apply liberally to my hair and leave with) is the only reason my hair doesn’t look like horse vom. I S2G MAN. i’m planning on getting HXC and making coconut milk shampoo one of these days, just in case people can’t already smell me approaching from 10 miles away at this point.
  • basically u can get a big jar of coconut oil in the cooking section of your grocery store for, like, 5 bucks and use it as a hair treatment, body moisturizer, dry face treatment, and like a whooole bunch of other things. there are a MILLION USES FOR COCONUT OIL.
  • if u do not like smelling like a 100% coconut i find gardenia perfume accents it wonderfully. this way you can smell overpoweringly fruity AND overpoweringly floraly while u OVERPOWER THE WORLD.
  • most importantly i would like 2 remind u it can help u shave your junk painlessly (only if ya wanna shave your junk tho!).
  • and give you alarmingly soft armpits
  • btw it’s also amazing at removing waterproof make-up I CAN’T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT TO SHARE THAT TIDBIT!!! OMG