warning: mentions of past trauma, emotional abuse, gaslighting, intimidation, ableism (probably),
last time on tiberius things still made sense. NO MORE. literally i am at the point in the process where I just write random things and hope eventually i’ll be able to stitch something together that makes sense. so please don’t read this expecting any coherency whatsoever. I TRIED TO DO THE WRITING IT CHRONOLOGICALLY THING. it didn’t work out
“Okay, so here’s a question,” Tony says. “Do you even want a better hearing aid?”
Clint stares at him.
Shit, not a good question apparently.
Words start spewing out of Tony’s mouth without his consent. “I’m not being a dick! Not on purpose anyway. A lot of people have told me I need to get my head on straight, that I should figure out my life, that what I need is sedation and a day planner, and I’m sure day planners work for some people, but what works for me is Pepper and having an atypical schedule and I don’t want to fix your hearing aid if that’s not actually what will help you, because people like to demand conformity to the detriment of proficiency, which is stupid because everyone has their way and what I’m saying is I don’t want to get in the way of your way–I’m digging this hole to China if you don’t stop me,” he says and Bucky graciously puts a hand over his mouth.
I really have a thing for the cute awkward girls that do cool shit and wear cool shit. Like it’s cool you like different stuff and it’s very awkward that you haven’t talked in 3 minutes but proceed to make several glances at me. I’m cool with it though. And I totally dig that your attire screams coolest kid in 1992. Tell me more about your summer vacation from 2008 that was a life changing experience and all that other cool awkward weird irrelevant shit that somehow makes me like you. Somewhere between the deep love for pizza and a very impressive music collection, those type of girls really make me go man. Keep being amazing and stuff.
So back in June 2008 my family went on vacation to Arizona. We were at the Grand Canyon for a couple days and then we wanted to hit up like the big circle around Phoenix, Flagstaff, and Sedona.
When we left the Grand Canyon, our GPS said it was about 80 miles to Flagstaff. But as always, secondary routes were posted… And this one route said it was 27 miles.
Thats right. 27.
So, I’m in charge of the GPS, and we decided to go with the 27-mile route, logically. We start driving down the road, and within minutes, the GPS says we missed our first turn.
Let me set up the surroundings: we were on a highway. The only highway for miles. There was a desert with some tall hills on our left the Grand Canyon somewhere to our right.
There were no turns anywhere, people.
But our GPS insisted that we had passed the turn, so we drove back a bit….and there it was: a semi-worn out dirt path that led into the hilly desert.
We followed it for fun, cuz that’s what you do when you’re driving a nice, clean rental Honda CRV. We came up to a wooden sign post with a STATE ROUTE NUMBER on it at a crossroads, and our GPS told us to turn there.
So, naturally, we followed the road.
This led to a 3-hour expedition across the Arizona desert. Not only that, but we passed a sign that said we were on the original WAGON TRAIL that settlers would follow as they came out west and down into Arizona, which stretched north for like 600 miles.
Along this trail, we encountered 1-foot deep ruts in the ground and were forced to pile rocks into them at point to prevent the car from bottoming-out.
I saw my first-ever jackalope - yes, those rabbit things that have antlers.
At one point, one of us was literally walking outside the car to guide my dad around branches/boulders on the trail.
But the best part was when we saw the dust cloud. THE dust cloud. It was headed straight for us. And as we approached it, and it approached us, we saw the cattle.
Not just a few heads, people. HUNDREDS. I’d say a thousand or more, to be honest.
All these cattle with huge horns just started walking around our rental car. They paid us no mind, just moved out of the way and walked past us. These massive creatures just going along their way. And then we met the cowboys. Real-life, ropes, spurs, and horses, herding these cattle across the Arizona desert.
So one of them comes up to our car and my mom rolls down the window, and the cowboy asks, “Where you folks from?” to which my mom replies, “Pennsylvania.” Then he asks, “This your car?” and she says, “No, it’s a rental.” And finally, after looking us over a bit, he says, “Know where you going?” to which she answers, “Yeah, we’ve got a GPS.”
And that was that. He bid us farewell and continued herding the cattle, leaving us to our own.
An hour or so after we cleared the last of the cattle, we came across a gated fence. With a padlock. And we all thought we were screwed. We thought we’d just driven 25 miles for nothing, that we’d have to turn around and endure that entire trek again.
Fortunately, the padlock was open.
A couple miles after that we found the highway we had started driving on 3 hours earlier, and were in Flagstaff a few minutes later.