THE FUTURIST! hears some satisfied grunting, therefore:
IF IT’S TUESDAY,
IT MUST BE …
the second day of the week that encompasses the days before the Easter holiday.
This means that Oliver, one of the Utter Despair, NJ local farm hogs, takes his annual vacation break away from the sty and the hay and the dreary routine of lolling in thick mud and goes down to the Jersey Shore until the holiday is over. It’s sort of like Oliver’s Spring Break.
Actually, it’s because he is one crafty farm hog and knows that, at least, one of his fellow pigs will be served up for the Easter ham cuisine with a side of fresh spring peas, scalloped potatoes, and a hard boiled egg or two. Oliver knows that one week is allowed for a restorative jaunt by the liberal Mr. Felderbelt for each of his livestock.
So, let Gertrude the hen or Danny the duck or Harry the horse take Memorial Day weekend or 4th of July week or Christmas week. Oliver knows how to escape the knife of Life, even IF the Jersey Shore is a bit chilly at this time of year. He always finds fine accommodations in the wet sand and lots of refuse to root into under the boardwalk.
See you next Monday, Oliver, you fat smelly mastermind!