The rain fell hard, a stubborn rain that seemed in ache to wash away the blood and sobs of the land.The world howling in abandon as thunder roared about the tiny apartment complex, shrouded in darkness, the electricity long since giving out.
The atmosphere, however, was not one of sadness, but of melancholy, a bittersweetness akin to poetry. So the tanned boy with unruly blonde locks paid it no mind, in face, it felt quite in place that the Earth would be crying.
Sasuke was leaving again
Naruto had felt it pulsating in the hospital walls, as the two of them healed from the damage they had inflicted to one anothers body, out of hate, out of indescribale passion and love, it hurt to dwell upon.
Another roar of thunder and said blonde looked at the only other occupant in the small room that was brimming with a silence, that was both comforting and telling, each knowing what the others soul was aching to spill, but such feelings have no name.
His onxy hair so black there were hues of midnight blue when the flashes of lightning scattered a brief array on his porcelain skin.
A face angels weep over, such beauty in those features, and such rage, it was a concept that reared the idea there must be a higher power, for this perfection was surely made of Gods.
Naruto smiled shyly at him, not feeling shy of his presence, no, that was the magic of it, rather, it was the words caught on his tongue.
Sasuke eyes the look with both adoration and certain exasperation.
“Naruto…I understand wh…., I will not ever harm this village nor the tailed beasts, for you. But realize this is for you alone, but you cannot ask me to stay here…I will not and ….”
He looked away, throat constricting, why was this so hard? He had rehearsed, imagined how this would be but looking into the expected dread in those blue eyes threatened his will, like it always did when he was near Naruto.
“Sasuke….” Naruto gulped. “Sasuke, I… I’m so sorry.” Teary eyed and honest, Naruto looked at his best friend, blue eyes fixated on inky black.
“I was so selfish, selfish for you to be near me, I wanted you to be safe and I knew no one…” A golden skinned hand, ran its fingers in frustration through his scalp. “I knew no one would since Itachi would ….”
Love you as I do
The words did not come out, they felt insufficient almost. For the devotion was maddening and it was not just love. It was friendship, loyalty, heart wrenching feelings that made him weak and strong, euphoric, safe, like he had a home everywhere he went because this boy…had melted himself into his soul.
The rain outside continued, another soft song of thunder encompassing them, the darkened room filled with the occasional array of lights from the bolts weaving down into the sky.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto’s unfinished declaration, not so much that he was curious of what he was to say, but in a childish antic to urge the other to toughen up and be pure.
Naruto laughed at the look but turned away, still part of him angered, to be honest, his soul was being shattered.
Sasuke was leaving again. Again. And this time, Naruto would let him.
Abruptly, the raven hair stood gracefully, a movement of form that would have ballerinas weep, but behind it was something even greater, a lethal grace.
Naruto, whom had been leaning his back against his twin bed, looked up at Sasuke, whose delicate, slim fingers reached out to him.
Naruto, thinking the boy was helping him to his feet, took the pale hand in his own, that same spark soaring into every nerve like static. Beautiful, terrfying, lovely….
However, Naruto was surprised that once his toes had planted their place on the hard floor, Sasuke did not relinquish his grip.
Another cry of thunder and Sasuke drew nearer, causing Naruto to catch his breath.
Getting the idea, as the raven invited Naruto to lean his chest against the others, guiding him with one arm into his embrace.
The rain did the crying for them, it seemed nature had concocted a moment of such emotion, the two boys could not very much speak it, but it was intimately shared, and it somehow broke and melded the heart at once.
Sharing these delicate stares, hurt, But in a way that meant the world to them. It hurt because it was love, and love hurt because love exists side by side with loss, with intangible fear of loss, love was painful and insufficient.
Naruto’s left arm snaked across Sasuke’s back to rest at the crook of is neck, and cheek to cheek they swayed to the sound of pouring rain.
It was too gentle to be clumsy, though neither had ever danced, they had much practice in melding their bodies to form in a sync that took even those utmost skilled ninja to perfect, it was something that occurred because their bones, their very essence knew one another and so the solemn dance went about smooth and dangerously close enough that each boy thought about forsaking their dreams to just be here, to be with one another and lock themselves apart from the rest of the world.
It seared within them a pain they had never tasted. Not because it was more tragic but because neither had ever intended to fall in love and that particular sense of being tied and bound was a loss that neither had ever thought they would experience.
It felt so good to be near one another, both eager for more, for it all, to completely possess and devour one another entirely so that they may merge completely.
A whiskered cheek caressed Sasuke’s high cheekbone, lovingly, a smile playing on their lips.
“Sasuke…” Naruto whispered, gently, no one ever spoke his name quite like that and it sent chills up his spine and he almost hated it, he hated being so quick to be effected by this ….idiot.
A tan hand cupped his face and Naruto stared into him deeply, as if to etch this feeling into the others very being.
“I’m…..sorry, I … You know…… but I gotta say it.. ya know? I ….I’m just sorry. I understand and even if I will always wish that you would stay here just like you wish I would leave…”
Sasuke smirked at his flustered nature,
“Don’t you laugh at me, bastard.” he pouted, but a glint of humor shown in his eyes.
Sasuke was smart, he knew that Naruto would never walk away from Iruka, his team, his friends, his home. Something he had fought his entire life for, something the child on the swing within him still needed.
Who was Sasuke to be angry?…
He would often ponder, For different, but strikingly similar reasons was the very fact Sasuke could not stay and Naruto could not leave, Sasuke knew, but both had seen it in one anothers soul, however in love, however madly in love… These ideals were concrete.
“I would have asked you to come with me….” Sasuke murmured, almost as if it were a prayer “But it makes much more sense for you to remain here.”
Naruto’s face, mere inches from his own could feel the sigh that ghosted from his pink lips.
If Sasuke were to beg, Naruto would surely accompany him to every facet and crevice of this earth, but he was an Uchiha, above all, he was Sasuke and that was not something he was made to do.
“So….Would that mean you would not come back?” Naruto said, timid, hopeful….
Bodies touching, feet swaying, the rain, relentless making tunes among the glass.
“It would mean you and I….” Yes, Sasuke wanted to say…..Yes I would not live here again…. but instead he made clear the nature of what was to become of them.
“Would never be more than this.”
That was all. That was all that was whisked across Naruto’s face to know that - he could bear his heart out again and again, this boy was not coming back and he could not ever ask that of him again.
Left foot, right foot, hands roaming onto one another’s skin, leaving trails of goosebumps.
Naruto’s fingertips grazed across a cheekbone, Sasuke’s arm gripping tighter and closer to the small of the others back, feeling one anothers heart beat through the thin fabric of their pajamas.
“In you, Naurto, an honest smile will always arise in me, this…..” Sasuke said, reaching for a tan strong hand to intertwine fingers and place it across his heart. “This, this is yours…and yours alone.”
Tightening his hold, Naruto shut his eyes as fallen streaks of tears stain at his whiskered cheeks, he wanted to beg for him to hold on, to not let go….
“As all of me is yours.” Naruto, sighedwith a sunshine grin.
They continued to sway to the beat of the rain, the music of the thunder, as they gripped closely, sharing breath, as lips grazed onto each other.
a/n: ok angst is not my thing so please excuse, but this is for a request (that’s ancient in our box sorry) and i hope you like it! :)
“The world suddenly seemed so perfect, but perfect can never last.”
1:26 am. Your eyes instinctively glared at the clock, flitting over the fluorescent digits glowing in the eerie room. The phone in your hand was burning, tingling your numbed fingers and racing heart, while the blue light casted shadows over your sullen features; eyebrows furrowed as your mind ransacked through the single text.
Warnings: Less than protected sex, one night stand, bad sex, drinking and sex, hurt/comfort, angst in beginning
Summary: Reader breaks up with her boyfriend and then ends up drinking too much and having a one night stand, as always, Dean is there to pick up the pieces
A/N: This was done for an anon who requested a very personal story, anywho, Reader where ever you are, I hope this makes you feel a little better. And just know if Dean were here right now, he would be the first one to tell you how wonderful you are and make you feel better.
“Y/N, can you come in here please?” Dean’s voice called dimly from somewhere down the hallway, probably his room you thought, but you didn’t move right away.
Instead, you were totally focused on nothing more or less than the box that was in your hand, and you weren’t sure what you going to do about it. You knew that you were most likely just being paranoid, one night stands just weren’t really your thing though, and even though you kept telling yourself that you couldn’t be pregnant the thought had gnawed at you so much you had run to the store and bought the pills that you knew could at least give you that amount of certainty you craved.
1. To celebrate Valentine’s Day, Easter, Christmas, Birthdays and any other “silly” celebrations… they may be social constructs, but they make life fun.. they give days meaning.
2. To find balance within each facet of your life. Balance is of utmost importance, not perfection.
3. To cherish those who are in your life. Make an effort. Connect. Appreciate. And do so often.
4. To make life interesting by holding yourself back less. Act upon urges. Acknowledge gut feelings.
5. To smile (even when you have every reason not to). That thing you’re worrying about, does it really matter?
6. To remove oneself from people, situations and behaviours that feel negative or leave you drained. Vibes are important.
7. To empower, accept, love and care for oneself. Feed yourself nutritious food, moisturise your skin, take bubble baths, drink tea, exercise, meditate, read, deactivate social media, play music… whatever works for you. Every body is beautiful… from skin folds and wrinkles, to hair strands and freckles. Listen to your body and love every part of you.
8. To reverse negative thinking. Challenge each negative thought with three positive thoughts. Underlying negative experiences, beliefs, doubts or fears that provoke unhealthy thought patterns must be understood. Growth mindsets serve us. You have so much power within.
9. To travel and tick experiences off of your bucket list. Adventures, hikes and road trips will always be fun.
Why do we not simply FATE grind? why do we not simply move on and do other content? We are drawn to Raubahn like moths to a flame. His mere presence speaks to something primal in us. It gives us hope, it gives us purpose, it kindles a fire within us. The thought of what lies beyond, the thought of that golden promised land of Instanced Duty. Yes, we’ve all heard the tales of brave souls crossing into that fabled realm of Othard and I tell you, it is that fable, that hope, that through our dedication and patience, even the lowest among us might be uplifted into the ranks of those lucky few. But my friends, my fellow true believers, you must not believe in the false hope provided by the line. Many seek solace in the line only to find that when they finally make the front of queue, they too are rejected by Raubahn. This is because the line is nothing more than a construct of those too weak to accept that their own faults prevent their progression. A true believer does not wait patiently for faith to test them, they throw themselves recklessly into the fires of Raubahn and trust in their own dedication to see them through to that eternal beyond. To that fabled post-Raubahn MSQ, to that utmost perfection that is Instanced Solo Duty. My friends, the line is a false hope.
THE FLOWERS HAVE TO MATCH HIS BOW TIE TOOO, ARE THE CENTERPIECES GORGEOUS ENOUGH, DO THEY MIRROR THE EXTRAVAGANT CHANDELIERS THAT HANG ABOVE EACH LAVISHLY DECORATED TABLE? EVERY DETAIL MUST BE OF THE UTMOST PERFECTION
There is only one important thing here: He’s not useless. Everything his Lady asks of him, he completes with utmost perfection. And She makes certain to tell him that.
He is everything and anything She needs. He is so close to Her heart.
The trick, Hawkmoth discovers, is to hide the akuma everywhere.
There’s akuma in their homes, in their mirrors, under their beds, until… someone swallows one.
It couldn’t have been more perfect if he had planned it, because this one comes from a broken home– broken hearted, broken spirited.
Adrien Agreste chokes on the butterfly, and it settles in his throat. Something fights Hawkmoth’s akuma, but it is too weak and too late. Adrien howls with the pain, but it doesn’t take long for him to be hollowed out and–
What gets her, on the other hand, is watching someone she loves be hurt, and be completely and utterly unable to do a thing.
She’s not the only one to have realized who lost himself this time, and she is unable to be alone. To talk to him.
She hears about his life. How lost and teetering on the edge he’s always been. For a moment, a tiny moment, she doubts.
It’s all Hawkmoth needs.
“Dear Doll?” his Lady’s voice is always soft and tinker-like. She cares for him so much. He kneels before Her, jerkily, as fast as his Strings allow. She sits before him, two steps up in this fancy house they’ve taken for themselves, and raises her hands in his direction, beckoning. “What would you like today?”
He hums, raising opaque eyes. “A romance, my Lady.”
She smiles, a distant bell-laugh from her candy-pink lips. Her wings flutter. “Come, Dear Doll. Rest your weary head on my lap, and let me spin you a Dream.”
He’s not sure why he calls Her ‘his Lady’, she is a Dreamy Butterfly. But it is always the title that slips from his mouth, like honey, like pollen, and he can see how it attracts this pretty, pretty, Butterfly. He settles at her feet, rests his head on her lap, even though his eyes never close.
Delicate, almost transparent fingers tangle in his hair, gliding through as easily as polished marble. She sings of epic romances and happy endings, of forever-afters and no evil villain or monster is left unscathed.
Just as Adrien Agreste had fought, so did Marinette Dupain-Cheng. But she fought harder. Not entirely like the boy, no.
After all, the akuma snared her instantly with that tiny, terrible doubt. But he underestimated the girl and how strong she was in every aspect of self.
She loathed when people were hurting, she looked around herself and wanted to make all hurts be healed and nothing ever go wrong ever again.
Including Hawkmoth himself.
Dreamy Butterfly is a lullaby of every happy wish anyone could ever ask for. She steps up to crying children, and makes them happy, with a song, a kiss, a treat or a caress.
Simulacrum is not quite surprised to see it works on adults, too.
They are all Sleeping Beauties, and Simulacrum sometimes allows his eyes to glide over the numerous forms blissfully dreaming in every corner of Paris.
The city sleeps forever.
“Dear Doll, my poor, poor, Doll,” She kisses his cheeks, his forehead. For some reason, he knows She doesn’t quite dare kiss his mouth, “I am so sorry I cannot make you happy like them, my Beautiful Doll…”
Simulacrum can’t sleep. He has nothing inside to bring out when he closes his eyes. His Lady spins Dreams with her voice for him, and he is so, so grateful.
She is a Dream made real, diaphanous and soft, baby colors spinning across the crystals of her dress. Her wings arch to the sides, long and curled with the colors of miraculously stained glass. She needs no mask, aside a sprinkling of shine along her cheeks. All of her is crystal, her hair, her clothes, her skin.
Simulacrum pretends he cannot see the black tears and wounds under her Dream, painstakingly put together, because all She wants is for the world to be happy. He is happy to oblige her– or, well, indifferent.
He does as his Lady commands, and if she wants him happy, he will be happy.
Note: uhm. It’s 3am and I pictured Marinette becoming the Butterfly that puts everyone to sleep so they can dream that their lives are perfect and they’ll always be happy. Er. For you, I guess. *slinks away*
Ah I hope its okay that I post this, because I think it’s really, really beautiful! I love the idea for Marinette’s akuma. And how the two think they’re still caring for the city, but in this warped, tragic way. I absolutely love it, thank you raiwalk so much for writing this!
It was his favorite day of the year. The day his favorite person in the world, and one of the few he actually liked was born. What would his life had been without her? He thought anyone that had to live their lives without seeing her smile surely lead miserable existences. She was such a blessing to this world, it was his most important duty to see to it that she saw nothing but happiness this day. Gods knew she needed it. He’d shelter her forever, if he could. Take care of all her troubles, so she’d never have to shed a single tear. He’d have to make do with being her pillar of support, wherever she looked, he’d be there.
Sure thing! If any of these are not accurate, please tell me.
- He understands your condition, as he has suffered from them countless of times himself after the events with Genji. He would sense it immediately when you begin to tense up, his senses as sharp as those of a hawk. He’d gently take your arm if he sees your anxious expression, ushering you away from the situation that is causing you harm.
- He feels incredibly sorry for you and it hurts him greatly that a kindhearted person like you is suffering from something like this. He will do whatever it takes to make you feel better though, as he thinks it is his duty to handle everything with the utmost care and perfection. This applies to caring for his loved ones as well. Hanzo would always be on his guard around you, preparing himself to jump to your aid if your anxiety levels might rise during the day. He would even carry around certain objects of comfort with him (snacks, small blankets, handkerchiefs, maybe even your favorite movie on dvd??), nothing is too much when it comes to your well being.
- He would have done a good amount of research a long time ago and would use it in combination with his own experiences in helping you. Often, there is not even an explanation needed for when he sees you crying on your bedside, mind heavy with the burdens you are carrying. Silently, he would pull you towards him, whispering words of comfort in your ear and that he is there for you. Afterwards, he would softly rock you back and forth, telling you that you are safe and that no one is watching. It is alright to let your guard down, as he will always respect you, no matter what you are going through. Through his time comforting you during your attacks, he created a ‘safe space’ for you to let yourself fall into. You both had agreed on that space, it being between Hanzo’s strong arms as you told him it was what made you feel more at ease and could get you out of your state of anxiety.
- While he is running his fingers through your hair, Hanzo would try to get you to talk about what made you so anxious during the day and what triggered the attack. Hanzo’s way of vocal comfort would most of the time, be logical as he isn’t the best with advice, fearing he would make it worse by saying the wrong words (even though he has a pretty good voice of reason and needs to have more confidence in it). So, he thinks by asking you about the reason for your distressed state and giving a solution on that afterwards is the best method. He would try to give emotional advice now and then for you though, especially if you can convince him that he in fact, does provide good advice and his presence alone brings you a feeling of safety as well. Hanzo knows his fair share of inspirational quotes and even though they are puzzling at times, they can certainly be of help.
- If anyone is giving you weird stares while you are having a panic attack in public, he’d bark at them to give you space and look elsewhere, while holding you to his chest, leading you away from prying eyes. Once he turns back to you, all of the rage in his eyes that had previously been there, would be gone. Never would he want to frighten you with the anger he might have towards others, as he knows it would only cause more harm. He saves his softest smiles and reassuring expressions only for you. This man may be a ruthless fighter against his enemies and anyone who might stand in his way, but he’s a gentle giant for his lover, creating quite an amusing contrast.
You are not restricted to one dream per person, per life, per decade you are free to dream as often as you wish. Let yourself run wild and enjoy every minute you have with this earth, enjoy every single opportunity that lies before you and live to the utmost perfection. The world is truly yours. Treat it with grace and explore all it has to offer and in return you will find happiness.
Hmm. I can’t say I get bored per se, because that would imply a general lack of mental stimulation, which is a rarity when one is an INTP. So nope, being INTP never gets boring for me.
But it does get frustrating at times. Especially when I’m in a Ti-Si loop, and I keep revising topics that are supposed to be established firmly in my mind to the point where I just don’t know what to believe, because my Ti keeps finding loopholes, searching for the utmost perfect manifestation of the concept, all the while refusing to take into considerations other information. It gives one quite the headache.
And on a more personal basis, when my brain just randomly decides to nitpick a situation that happened a few years back, dissecting and analyzing points of futility.
It’s a generally an idle state to be in, and an INTP gets frustrated at how little they are benefitting their brain/learning.
No man has ever reached
The peak of his completion
And the utmost of perfection
Until he has been fanatically
Loved by a woman.
There are certain flames within him
That cannot be set to fire
Until he is kindled by her -
Whether he admits it or not.
part 12: Things get a little heated between Steve and Fury. Wanda tells Steve your secret.
Word count: 1.815 (without
Lumen is going on hiatus for a little while. In the meantime, please feel free to check out my other ongoing fan fic series, “Love is a…”!
Iona Cole is a perky, gifted and ambitious assistant to a critically acclaimed
professor at a renowned university. That is, until she snaps in the middle of
class, the auditorium packed with students on introduction day. Having a long
family history of psychiatric diseases, her mother sends her to a private
clinic to receive the best treatment. In reality, this institute for people
with “special needs” is a smokescreen for the underground operation Hydra is
Jin: cooking, synesthesia, moon. (make it smutty if you want) thanks! <3
This prompt was perfect for me ohmygod! (Btw I got really carried away with this sooo yeah, super long one shot scenario ahead… it’s like over 4000 words). I hope you enjoy, ‘cause I had fun writing it!~
- Devi o((◕ฺ∀ ◕✿ฺ))o
[Warning: Explicit Content] (only towards the end though)
Synesthesia: (in literature) a manner of writing that engages all five senses.
@clairese1980 I finished it! I’m sorry if it took me too long, but I think it’s good, and I do hope that you enjoy this!
Clairese stared at her trembling fingers, willing herself not to look yet. It was only two minutes. She could wait that long.
Her gaze flickered over to the test on the counter, then her phone to see only thirteen seconds had passed. She shook her hands, then her head, then exhaled slowly.
It was only a hunch, but for some reason she just knew, like there was a feeling deep in her gut that was screaming out at her, and somehow she already knew. But she also didn’t want to tell Baba without having taken a test.
Clairese began pacing the tiled bathroom floor, forcing herself to focus her gaze anywhere but that small plastic device. She inspected the ceiling, which needed to be cleaned, then the wall where she straightened out the hand towel and realigned the framed picture that had tilted to the left. Or was it to the right? Maybe it hadn’t really been off at all….
Her eyes darted to the test, and she quickly squeezed them shut so as not to ruin the surprise for herself. Don’t look, she chided herself.
She gazed at the floor and studied her feet, shuffling her bare toes back and forth, tapping them to a random tune in her head. She wiped away a smudge on the edge of the mirror, then looked back to her phone.
Only ten more seconds.
This was it.
Her heartbeat quickened as she licked her lips in anticipation and placed a hand over her yet unchanged stomach.
Ah, screw it, close enough!
She made a mad grab for the test and could have sworn her chest exploded with joy at the sight of the two positive pink lines.
“Baba, your supper is in the oven.”
Clairese giggled quietly with excitement as Baba disappeared into the kitchen.
Squirming anxiously in her chair, she waited as Baba came back around the the corner, holding the single bun in his hand.
“Were you baking today my lady? This is delicious!”
It was Clairese’s turn to be confused as she watched Baba take a bite of the bun, his charming smile the same as always.
“Is there more though? I’m fairly hungry tonight.”
Clairese smacked herself in the forehead when he returned to the kitchen, obviously not catching the insinuation she’d been trying to get across.
Okay, plan B!
It had taken her a couple of days to find a shop that sold the plate she was looking for, but Clairese had finally acquired the plate. Inscribed on it was ‘You’re going to be a daddy’ with two little foot prints beneath it. She’d been debating how to deliver the news, but this idea had caught her eye, and at least this way Baba would have no problem figuring it out.
He was incredibly smart, but apparently there were moments every so often where things sailed right over that beautiful head of his.
Clairese laughed gently to herself as she dished up their cake and brought it out to the table where Baba was seated.
“Did you bake again today?” he questioned, blinking up at her from his chair.
“Yes,” Clairese smiled gently as she placed the dish before him, “I found a new recipe and I thought I’d try it out. Let me know what you think?”
“Ah, but everything you make tastes of the utmost perfection!” he declared.
Clairese giggled and rolled her eyes as he raised his fork to taste the dessert.
“Mmm,” he hummed in approval, “just as I thought; heavenly!”
“You know, when you compliment every dish like that, it makes me doubt your sincerity,” she joked, scooping up a bite of her own.
“I’m simply telling you how your food makes me feel my love,” he replied after another bite.
Clairese watched as he was down to his final bite, her lips fighting to hold back her smile when he realized there was writing on the plate.
“Hmm? What’s this?”
He picked up the last bit and placed it in his mouth, his eyebrows furrowing as he shifted the plate to read the wording.
She watched as his eyes skimmed over the words, saw his jaw go slack and his entire body seemed to freeze before he managed to swallow the food in his mouth with a deep and audible gulp.
“Clairese?” he whispered, “is this true?”
His gaze was focused on the glass dinnerware before him as he choked out the words.
“Yes Mistunari. You’re going to be a dad.”
It didn’t seem as though the words had sunk in and Clairese almost began to fear that he wasn’t excited. But in the next moment he was up from his chair and pulling hers out to collapse to his knees before her, his arms wrapping around her middle as he pressed his face to her stomach.
“Baba!” Clairese cried out in shock, “wha-?”
His lips placed a gently kiss to her tummy as he squeezed her tightly.
“You have no idea how happy you’ve made me,” he spoke, his voice muffled as he talked to her belly.
She felt her lips tremble as she broke into a smile, brushing a hand over his hair before he turned his face up to her. In his exquisite mocha eyes were the shimmering of tears as he radiated with pure adoration.
“We made a baby,” he breathed.
Clairese nodded as her own eyes began to prick with hot tears.
“We’re going to have a baby!”
Baba picked her up and spun her around in his arm before pulling her in tightly to kiss her full on the lips. They held each other and pressed their foreheads together, smiles alighting both their faces.
“I’ve never received such a spectacular gift my princess, thank you.”
Clairese felt a single wet drop fall on her face, and she reached a hand up to brush her fingers across his cheek.
“Neither have I Baba. This is a gift we will share with each other forever.”
They remained in each other arms for a long time, enjoying the sweet air that enveloped them before Baba laughed lightly.
“I can’t wait to tell all their uncles upstairs!”
At 7 weeks….
The gel on her belly was colder then she had anticipated and it caused Clairese to cry out.
“Can’t they warm this stuff first?” she questioned under her breath, and the technician and Baba both laughed.
“It’ll warm up soon, yes?” Baba comforted her, taking a hand in his own.
“Alright, let’s see if we can find the heartbeat this time!” the female tech suggested, pulling her stool closer to Clairese.
She took a deep breath and blinked up at the ceiling. The last time, they hadn’t been able to get a good angle to find the heartbeat, so she was crossing her fingers this time that they’d find it.
“Okay, first I’ll just let you hear your own heart beat…..ah, right here.”
There was a slow, constant thumping as the machine played out her own rhythm.
“And now it might take me a minute to find baby here. It’s still fairly small, but let’s find it this time for you, okay mommy!”
The little device moved across her lower abdomen, shifting every once in a while, the readjusting and shifting some more.
Then a quicker beat filled the air of the room and Clairese felt the air catch in her lungs.
“Is that….?” Baba questioned, his own words trailing off.
“That is the sound of your baby’s heart beat!” the woman smiled briefly at them. “It’s a good, strong one too! 150 beats per minute.”
“That’s our baby’s heartbeat,” Clairese repeated in amazement. The pounding of every beat was ringing in her ears as she listened in disbelief.
She felt Baba thread his fingers through hers and looked over to him with wet eyes.
“There’s really a baby in there. And now I’m crying!” she laughed and sobbed as tears began to streak down.
“Yes there is!” Baba laughed joyfully, pressing a kiss to her lips.
They gazed into each other’s eyes blissfully as the proof of their child’s existence resounded around them.
At 13 weeks….
“Okay, let’s see if we can get a good photo for you two!”
The ultrasound operator was seated beside her, adjusting her shirt and brought out the gel.
Clairese groaned at the sight of it, and the man smiled in understanding.
“Not to worry, this one has been warmed up!”
“They can warm it? Well, that would have been nice before,” she grumbled.
Baba smiled down at her lovingly as the tech put the gel on her belly and began his work. It was only a few minutes before he spoke up.
“Okay, if you look right over here,” he gestured, pointing at his screw with one hand, “there’s a head, this here is the heartbeat, and this over here is an arm.”
Clairese stared at the screen and blinked a couple times.
“I’m sorry, I need to step out and grab your file,” the technician apologized, rising from his chair, “I’ll be right back.”
As the door slipped closed behind him, Baba moved closer to sit on the small bed beside her.
“Isn’t our baby beautiful?” Baba spoke softly, his eyes still upon the screen. He only turned to look at her when he heard Clairese begin to sniffle.
“Huh? What’s wrong pretty lady?”
She began to sob and he squeezed her hand in concern.
“……I can’t see the baby!” she finally wailed, “All I see is black and white blurs!”
Clairese buried her face in her hands and cried, and Baba couldn’t help but laugh in relief.
“Aw princess! You had me worried!”
“Don’t laugh at me,” she hiccuped, her face red from crying and embarrassment, “I’m the worst mom ever because I can’t see our baby! It all looks like a blob to me!”
Baba chuckled before pulling her hands away and cupping her face. He brushed away the tears with his thumbs before placing a kiss to each eye.
“You are not a bad mother. When he comes back in and looks again, it will be easier to see the baby. Please don’t be upset.”
He placed a chaste kiss on her lips and smiled at her encouragingly until she sniffled and returned his kiss.
“I’m sorry,” the technician spoke upon entering the room again, a file in his hands. He stopped when he saw Clairese’s tear stained cheeks.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yes,” Baba laughed, “just some pregnancy hormones acting up.”
“Ah,” came the understanding sound as he came back.
“So the reason I had to go and grab your file was because I needed to check something.”
“What is it?” Baba questioned, immediately serious, “Is something wrong?”
“Oh no, no, not at all. Let me just show you here.”
He resumed the ultrasound, adjusting the screen so they could both see better.
“Okay, now if you look right here, this is the head, and down here you can see the feet…”
“Wait,” Clairese interrupted, “Is that the heart? Is that the heart beating?”
“Yes it is,” the tech answered with a smile.
“Baba, look! There’s his little heart! I can see it!”
Clairese squeezed Baba’s hand excitedly, and he squeezed back.
“Now, if you watch I’m going to just move this over here and…..there is baby number two.”
Clairese’s mouth fell and Baba seemed to stop breathing completely.
“This is your second baby,” the doctor repeated, his smile wide as he looked to both of them.
“Twins? We’re having twins?” Baba gaped, his wide eyes boring into the screen.
“B-but we’ve only heard one heartbeat before!” Clairese spluttered as her mind still struggled to wrap around the fact that there were currently two infants inside her.
“Well, there are most definitely two in there,” he chuckled again, showing them once more on the screen as headed over her stomach.
“Can you tell what they are?” Baba asked.
“I can, but do you want me to tell you?” the doctor countered.
“I want to know Baba. Is it okay if we find out?” Clairese pleaded, gripping Baba’s hand in both of hers.
“Of course my lady! I want to know too!”
“Well, it looks as if you’ll be having a boy and a girl.”
At 21 weeks….
It was two in the morning, and Clairese was unable to sleep due to all the movements in her overly growing stomach. The babies seemed to be constantly moving lately, more so at night than anything. Running a hand over her belly, she whispered into the dark, “Please take it easy on mommy.”
A hard jerk made her hand jump and she froze. That kick had been way stronger than the others.
Clairese reached over and turned on the light beside their bed, causing Baba to moan as he woke from his own sleep.
“Hmm? What’s wrong?”
“Shh,” she instructed, laying perfectly still on her back, watching her stomach intently, “Just watch.”
They both stayed still as she rubbed a hand over her belly again, and waited.
When nothing happened, Clairese sighed in disappointment.
“I’m sorry Baba, I was sure that they were moving enough that you might be able to feel them now…”
His mouth turned up slightly as he looked down at her sleepily.
“It’s alright my love, I’m in no rush. They’ll move for their daddy soon enough, won’t you?”
He pressed his lips to her stomach only for Clairese to feel a big movement once again and Baba’s face bounced away from her.
“Did they just….?”
Clairese snickered in disbelief.
“I think one of them just kicked you in the face!”
She burst into laughter as Baba placed a large hand across her swell, only to receive movement once more.
“I think they reacted to you talking to them Baba,” she murmured, watching his face as he enjoyed the sensation of little limbs brushing against him.
“Have I got some great stories for you two,” he spoke happily, bringing his mouth closer to them, “I’ll tell you stories every night, about lands far away, sights you’ve yet to see, and endless tales about the beauty of your mother. If listening to my voice makes them happy, I’ll talk to them forever,” he swore, lifting his eyes to stare into hers.
“You can’t say that kind of stuff or I’ll cry again!”
Baba laughed and laid down facing her, pulling her so their stomachs touched.
“This way I can feel them too,” he grinned, brushing his hand through Clairese’s hair.
At 27 weeks….
Clairese and Baba had gone up to the penthouse as all the guys were back after their holidays and overseas business deals. It had been about a month or so since they’d seen any of the others, and Baba was more than excited to go show off his pregnant love.
“I think you’re just excited to go see you friends,” Clairese teased as they stepped off the elevator, slowly waddling down the hallway. She really didn’t like to admit that she waddled, but at this point, there was no other word to describe how she moved about anymore.
Baba had a supportive hand on the small of her back as he moved alongside her in pace with her own steps.
“That might be it too, but I’m mostly just so proud of my beautiful family that all I want to do is show them off to the world!”
He smile was as bright as ever, and Clairese snickered.
“Aaaand there’s the tiny fact that I haven’t told them we’re having twins yet,” he added offhandedly.
“What?! What do you mean you didn’t tell them? It’s been weeks now Baba!”
“I wanted to see their faces though!” he laughed as they got to the door.
Clairese only shook her head and made her way inside as Baba held the door open for her.
“Hey guys!” he greeted boisterously.
“Well, you’ve gotten bigger since last time we saw you.”
“The hell did he do to ya kid?”
Baba escorted Clairese over to the couch where she lowered herself down and let out a long exhale.
“It’s nice to see you guys too,” she replied sarcastically.
“But seriously Clairese,” Ota piped up, “you’re stomach looks humongous.”
“You couldn’t have picked a nicer way to say that?” she snapped, her face dropping to a pout.
Mamoru eyeballed her from the end of the couch, not daring to come any closer. He’d even been considerate enough to stop smoking in the penthouse for her, without Baba asking. Secretly, Clairese realized, he could be kind of decent.
“Looks like you’re a bloated beach ball,” he commented.
Maybe kind of decent was stretching it….
“You’re showing more than I was expecting,” Soryu mentioned. At least he was nice enough not to phrase it as rudely as the other two.
“I thought the same,” Eisuke agreed, “how far along are you now?”
“We just hit 27 weeks,” Baba answered, placing a hand on her shirt. At the contact, the babies reacted and began to shift, the movements clearly visible to everyone.
“Oh my god!” Ota cried, “Is that the baby moving?”
“Yes,” Clairese smiled, “Do you want to feel?”
Ota moved over and put a hand on her stomach where Baba’s had been, swiftly receiving a hard punt.
“Wow, strong little guy. Wait, is it a boy or girl? Did you find out yet?”
Baba and Clairese shared a look before grinning at the guys.
“Yes we found out,” Baba said, “it’s a boy.”
As the rest of them began to congratulate Baba, Clairese continued to speak.
“….and it’s a girl.”
Four pairs of eyes turned to her in confusion.
“What do you mean it’s a boy and a girl?” Mamoru asked.
“It’s twins,” Soryu concluded immediately.
“That explains the massive size,” Eisuke smirked.
“You’re having twins?” Ota blinked, “You’ve got two little Koro’s in there?”
“You are not calling my babies by your dogs’ name!” Clairese shouted.
Baba laughed delightedly, putting an arm around her shoulders.
“Well, this seems like a fitting reason to celebrate,” Eisuke suggested, shocking everyone.
“You want to celebrate boss?” Baba queried, tilting his head.
“You don’t mean….” Clairese trailed off.
“An auction,” Soryu nodded, eyes closed.
“An auction,” Eisuke confirmed, his smirk in place as usual.
Despite their lack of showing interest, at the next auction, Clairese was touched to find that many of the items were baby related, and that each of the guy us bought them something for the babies.
At 35 weeks….
Clairese had gone on maternity leave a couple weeks ago, and now found herself sitting around their house quite often. And she was going crazy. The babies room was all ready, their father having built an addition and transforming it into the most beautiful room she could have ever imagined. The walls were a lovely shade of muted yellow, with a beautiful mural painted across one wall that depicted princes and princesses.
The cribs were all set up, her hospital bag was packed, she cleaned the house as much as she was allowed, and now she was currently going through the baby clothes they’d been collecting for the last few months.
Clairese felt her heart warm and she smiled lovingly as she ran her fingers over a tiny little pink dress Baba had insisted his daughter would need.
She recalled just how wonderful and devoted he’d been through the entire pregnancy, putting up with her insane emotional roller coaster, holding back her hair every time she’d thrown up his delicious home cooked meals, and not matter what the time had been or what her craving was, he would retrieve it for her without fail.
Baba hadn’t complained in the slightest, doting upon her at every opportunity. As Clairese thought about him fondly, she felt a sudden dull pain in her lower back.
She grimaced and put a hand out to brace herself against the wall. Another pain came shortly after, leaving behind an insistent ache. She grit her teeth, but found herself unable to remain standing. She lowered herself to the floor, trying to calm her breathing as the dull ache became more insistent.
“Baba!” she cried, praying he was somewhere close by.
The pains began to reach around to her stomach, and she rubbed a hand over the incredibly large mound.
“I guess this is happening huh?” she panted, trying to focus on staying calm. Another pain had her crying out when she heard the front door open.
“I’m home my lady!”
There was a pounding of footsteps and instantly he was there, his face pale with worry.
“Clairese! What happened?”
“We need to get to the hospital now,” she moaned, squeezing his hand firmly as another contraction caused her to tremble in agony.
16 and a half hours later….
“And here comes a little boy!”
The hospital room was filled with the sounds of two very cold and unhappy babies screaming, and both parents couldn’t have been happier.
Clairese was drenched in sweat and tears, her hair matted to her face and neck, her cheeks pale and eyes half lidded from the intense exhaustion, but a small smile was touching her lips as she twisted her head ever so slightly to get a look at the newly born infants.
Their daughter, Michiko, was wrapped in a pink blanket and held by a nurse as their son Makoto was weighed and cleaned up.
The nurse holding Michiko approached them, looking to Baba.
“Would daddy like to hold her now?” she asked softly, her face bright as she bounced the tiny bundle.
“Absolutely!” Baba beamed, as he moved to take her.
Clairese watched him tiredly, saw how his face went from a picture of bewilderment, then transformed into pure love as he stared down at the little girl. He moved tenderly back to the bed and perched himself beside Clairese, holding Michiko so she could see her.
“Hello my little princess,” he crooned, cradling her as if she were made of the most precious material, “Say hello to your mommy.”
“…..she’s so beautiful Baba,” Clairese breathed, her eyes burning the image of the two of them into her mind. She was more then happy, to the point that happiness couldn’t even begin to describe her emotions, but at the same time, she felt so very, very tired still….
“She is, just like her mother,” he agreed, pressing a kiss to Clairese’s forehead.
“Here’s our other little arrival,” a nurse cut in, carrying their son to the bed as well. “Shall we get mommy to hold him?”
“Can I?” Clairese whispered, turning her gaze to the swaddled babe in blue.
“Of course you can! Here, let’s move this arm over for you, and….there!”
The small infant was cradled against her breast, and his screaming died down instantly. She peered down into his petite face, and her heart lurched when his eyes opened ever so slightly to meet her own, revealing the same coloured eyes as his father.
“He’s amazing,” she whimpered, once again feeling her eyes well up with tears. She continued to simply wonder over Makoto, when she gradually realized something felt off. The tiredness that had been floating around her head now seemed to have intensified as another sort of strange pain took hold of her body.
“Baba…..somethings…….wrong,” she slurred, just before her eyes slid shut.
“Clairese? Clairese! Hey, wake up! Nurse!”
Baba’s frantic shouting had the nurses and doctors at the bedside abruptly, one nurse swiftly grabbing Makoto as Clairese’s arm went limp.
“Damnit, she’s hemorrhaging! We need to get the crash cart in here now!”
“Sir, you need to come outside please!” a nurse instructed frantically, gripping him by an arm as she pulled him from the room.
“No, I can’t leave her!” he argued, attempting to wrestle his arm loose.
“Sir, please! You’ll only be in the way in here! You need to come out!”
“Get him out of here nurse!” a doctor barked as more people rushed into the room, a large cart in tow behind them.
A second nurse ran to him, taking Michiko, as a third male nurse assisted in his removal.
“Clairese!” he bellowed, desperately reaching back, wanting to remain at her side. His heart was throbbing harshly at the sight of her surrounded by medical staff and as he caught sight of the ungodly amount of blood, he grew frantic.
“Please, I can’t just leave her in there!”
“Sir, you need to wait just here! There’s nothing you can do for her right now!”
The door closed before him and he was left in the hallway with the sound of his children’s distressed wails. One of the nurses stammered something about taking the infants to the newborn ward, but he barely comprehended her words. His hands were trembling as he drug them back through his hair, gripping the strands in his helpless state. He felt entirely bewildered by the unforeseen turn of events. It had all happened so quickly….
The door of her room burst open, and he spun as his heart leapt with hope.
It was dashed just as quickly however when Clairese’s hospital bed was wheeled out of the room, still encased in the panic of emergency, as the medical staff proceeded to call out things he didn’t hear. All he saw was her face, far too pale, with tubes stuck in her arms, and a mask over her mouth. Her eyes were shut, the entire orbital area too dark, and Baba would have given anything just to see her open her eyes at him. In the blink of an eye, the hallway was empty and silent again, and Baba once more found himself alone.
He felt too cold, his mind simply blank, and he sunk to the floor, collapsing his head on to his knees. It wasn’t fair. How could this have happened? Mere moments ago, he’d been in such a euphoric state, he’d finally gotten a real family of his own, and now there was a chance he could loose the woman who had given him that light?
Tears burned at his eyes as Baba squeezed them shut, pleading to a higher power.
“Please,” he whispered, his voice catching in his throat as the tears soaked into his sleeves, “please, you can’t take her from me. I need her. She’s far too good and kind and loving…..don’t leave me alone.”
Sobs wracked his form as he could no longer hold them back, his chest heaving as his fears overwhelmed him.
If he’d been there for minutes or hours, he didn’t know, but doors opened at the end of the hall and the sounds of multiple feet running as they approached him could be heard. Baba raised his head to find the rest of the guys before him, all of them short of breath.
“Baba, we heard what happened!” Ota panted as they surrounded him. He put a hand on Baba’s arm and hauled him up, leading his dazed friend to a chair.
“Where is the kid?” Mamoru asked.
“They took her to a different room.”
“Have they told you anything?” Eisuke questioned, looking around for a staff.
Baba shook his head slowly, lowering his eyes.
“No, I haven’t heard a thing yet.”
They stood in silence before Soryu spoke up.
“Where are your babies?”
“I….think they took them to the nursery,” Baba replied, furrowing his brow. He glanced up to find a clock and realized that it had been over two hours since they’d been born.
“Let’s go see them!” Ota encouraged with a smile.
“Yeah, it would do you good to spend time with them, instead of sitting here waiting,” Soryu agreed.
With a nod, Baba stood and they made their way to the hospitals’ nursery. Once there, a nurse greeted them and brought the infants out. Baba took Makoto and Ota held out his arms for Michiko.
“I still can’t believe you’re a father now Baba,” Ota said with a breathy chuckle, “and look how cute your daughter is!”
“Is anyone else creeped out by that?” Mamoru quipped gruffly. Both Eisuke and Soryu laughed, earning a pout from the artist.
“Shut up! I’m just being a loving uncle!”
Baba was only half listening to their banter as he rocked his daughter. Her tiny mouth began to work in a sucking motion before her tiny hand finally made contact and she suckled on her finger. His lips tugged slightly at the sight and he pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Excuse me. Mr. Baba?”
All heads turned as a doctor approached them.
“Ms. Royal is awake. Everything went well, and she will be just fine. She is asking for you.”
“She’s alright?” he asked shakily, unable to believe his ears.
“Yes, she made it out perfectly well.”
Baba handed his daughter to Eisuke and took off running down the hall as the doctor called out the room number after him. He arrived in no time, and pushed the door open without hesitation.
Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and at the sight of him, she broke into a gentle smile.
“Baba,” she whispered, “I’m so happy to see you.”
“My lady,” he heaved, fighting for breath at the vision of her. He was on her instantly, his arms wrapped protectively around her, pushing her head into his chest.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” he warned, his voice muffled as he spoke into her hair.
Her arms encircled his waist, one hand running up and down his back soothingly. She felt his tears on her neck as he buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and gently called his name.
“Mitsunari, I love you.” She pulled back enough to look him in the eyes and brush the salty trails from his face. “I swear that I will never leave you ever. We’re a family now, and forever.”
They embraced once more before a knock sounded on the door.
“Ah Baba, I’m really sorry to interrupt,” Ota apologized as he stuck his head in, “But it seems that your children don’t really like uncle Eisuke and Uncle Mamoru makes Michiko scream. The only one that will help me is Uncle Soryu.”
Clairese laughed delightedly and nodded to Ota to enter. The sounds of howling rang out as Eisuke entered holding Michiko.
“You need to take your daughter,” he stated shortly, pushing the babe gently into Clairese’s arms.
Baba grinned as he took his son from Ota and rejoined Clairese at her side.
“This is your family,” Clairese spoke, looking down into her daughters’ face, then to Makoto and Baba, “This is our family.”
With his heart feeling brighter than he’d ever imagined, Baba leaned down and pressed his forehead to Clairese’s, thankful that his world had been blessed so much. As soon as she was feeling better, Baba planned to take the next step for their family by taking a trip to find her the most perfect ring for her finger to claim her as his own forever.
She smiled up at him beautifully and he knew he’d finally found everything he’d ever needed.
You know when you start to love a fandom and a ship there are stages of affection.
Stage 1: I watch the movie/show, I read the book, I like a couple, I start to ship.
Stage 2: I start to look up fanwork. AO3, Youtube, tumblr, fanfics, fanarts, fanvids. I start to swoon over the perfection and the love. I start to quote the dialogues.
Stage 3: All I can think about is the utmost perfection and beauty of the pair. Reading is not enough. I want to write them, I want to be there beside them, I want to tell them how perfect they are for eachother. I cry when I think about them. I can’t concentrate on anything. I look at pictures and I cry. I read everything I can. I start to write something that ends up being a PWP because it’s me who we are talking about
I reached Stage 3 with ‘The Song of Achilles’ and Patrochilles. Someone help me. I’m feeling things.
Snogfairy needs to finish things she has started before collaboration with others. It stinks waiting.
While it may be a bummer to wait for someone to update, ultimately, it is their choice on what they do or do not do.
You don’t exactly have to be excited about this collab, or even like it, but please do not try to dictate what others choose to do with what little free time they have. Philine takes precious time out of her day to write amazing things and then puts them up here for others to read for free…
So yes, it can be hard to wait for an update. But, anon, please remember that she does this willingly and out of the kindness of her heart.