My Dream World Cup 2019 Roster

emily menges wearing an abby dahlkemper skin suit

the ghost of abby wambach

carli lloyd on adderall

ali krieger and her stans right after being allowed to feed jill ellis to sharks with laser beams attached to their foreheads

tierna davidson and tobin heath but they’re both forced into a single oversized #17 jersey like siblings who need to learn how to get along

kelley o’hara with a license to kill and an unlimited amount of knee braces to dramatically throw to the sidelines

sam kerr, who is allowed onto the pitch for two minutes every time the commentators mention the usmnt or mls

megan rapinoe but zach ertz runs onto the pitch to spray her with water whenever she doesn’t pass the ball to an open teammate

mallory pugh at age 28 so no one has to mention she’s a teenager ever again

sam mewis but normal sized and she can only be subbed off for kristie mewis or a new england patriots player of her choice

christen press and alex morgan with a decent sized leash chaining them together for maximum movement but one can’t play without the other #chrislexrise

the demon that possesses mccall zerboni and fuels the hell fire of the north carolina courage

alyssa naeher with ashlyn harris’ haircut

adrianna franch

allie long but she has to buy playing time and the only accepted currency is cute videos of tobin heath

anyone who’s ever eaten at a golden corral buffet and lived

emily sonnett’s abs

whitney engen but everyone acts like nothing ever happened

becky sauerbrunn after intensely training on an isolated mountain populated only by monks for two months, free from distractions like social media, woso journalism, and her useless gay teammates

anonymous asked:

i need a gif set of kell tackling the shit out of that girl shortly after someone took alex down 😂

Let’s recap:

actual !! quote !! from Julie Foudy after this: 

“O’Hara’s not happy that they didn’t send that one out of bounds… you can see why Kelley’s coming in hard on that one; here’s Morgan on the other side, took one right to the face.”