using my new nickname


i found cute the pirate thing so (btw the song is this one)


heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i love petscop have a picture of Toneth lmao

All My Idols Ch 7: Lists, Fanclubs, and Lay

“Noona, what are you talking about?” GD whines as he sits up, pulling me on to his lap. The other boys follow suit, sitting up and trying to rub the sleep out of their eyes without ruining their makeup. I, on the other hand, know my makeup is already messed up so I don’t mind making my raccoon eyes even worse.

“Our lovely Charlie, even in her sleepy state, has been able to woo not only our company’s Ikon but also BTS. Their managers have came and started asking questions about her, I blew them off but if their boys pester them enough they will be back with more questions and won’t go away as easily. Not to mention a few other groups that are asking around about the pretty foreigner who was being lead around by Ikon.” She looks to me, “Lottie, what did I tell you about that magic potion of yours’.”

“Here I thought it was just my amazing good looks that drew guys to me,” For once, she did not appreciate my playfulness; her mouth pressed into a thin line. “Look, I don’t know what you want from me Unni. I got lost, ran into Ikon, who offered to walk me back but all these boys kept popping up.”

She lets out a stressful sigh before plopping down on the couch beside us, “I know Lottie, I’m sorry, it’s just that…” I can see her struggling to find the right words.

“It’s just that the more people who know about you the more likely chance the fans, of any group, will also find out about you and we don’t know what will happen when they do. You know how people react when an idol comes out with a girlfriend. Imagine how they will react to a girl who is incredibly close with big bang and friends with other popular groups.” GD finishes for her.

“Not to mention the fact that you are already so busy with work that you barely have time for us, and we aren’t happy with the idea of sharing you,” Top ads with a little smirk.

“Thank you guys for worrying about me. But I’m a big girl I can take care of myself when it comes to fans, and who needs sleep, I would much rather be with friends. And when it comes to sharing me, you guys will always be my favorite oppas, no one can take your place.” I smile sweetly at them and they give me one back.

Seungri’s eyes narrow on me, “So we’re your number one oppas?”

I nod.

“Not your number one idol group?” He doesn’t look offended, just kind of annoyed and amused. “I know we don’t talk about it but where are we on your list?”

Oh fuck.

“Seungri,” Unni comes into defend me but Youngbae cuts her off.

“No, Seungri is right to ask that, if we are going to have to deal with these other guys around our Charlie we should at least know how she feels about them, as idols of course.”

I begin chewing on my lip when all the boys and Unni turn to look at me. GD’s grip on me has only tightens, I can feel his nervousness about my response. In fact I can feel that everyone is nervous, not just me. We have never talked about my bias list beyond their group because it has always made us uncomfortable to talk about people they know and that I awkwardly like.

“Are you guys sure you want me to tell you?”

“Are we really that low on your list?” Top teases but I know he is a little offended.

I’m quick to response, “No, no, no!  You are all in my top 10.”

His eyebrows raise, “We aren’t the top 5?”

I shake my head awkwardly.

“Okay lets do this, start from number 1,” Seungri demands as he leans forward, suddenly serious.

“No,” Unni buds in as she grabs a piece of paper and a pen to write it down, “I’m enjoying their stressing, start from 10.” She smiles at me.

With a deep breath I start, “This just based off you guys as idols, before I even knew you guys,” I clarify. They all nod eagerly, wanting me to continue, “Seungri.” Automatically Seungri is up on his knees, slamming his hands down on the coffee table.

“I’m at the bottom?” He nearly yells with a deep pout.

Youngbae kicks him, “Ya! We already kind of guessed that now shut up so we can know where we are on this list.”

“Sorry Charlie, please continue,” GD says with a small smile.

“Winner’s Mino.”

“That little punk beat me!” Seungri is up again, earning another kick and scolding from Youngbae.

“BTS’s J-hope.”

Youngbae already has Seungri flat on the floor with his feet firmly on his back so he can’t get back up unless allowed. He’s giving me a sweet smile for me to continue.

“Daesung Oppa,” I look at him, worried he would be upset with his placement but he just smiles widely at me, just happy to be on the list. “Jooheon from Monsta X. Youngbae oppa,” Again I stop and look at my oppa.

“Don’t worry about me Charlie, I’m satisfied that I’m above this fool.” He puts a little more force on Seungri’s back, earning a whine from the younger.

“You guys promise you won’t be mad about the next one right?”

Their eyebrows go up, but Unni speaks, “Don’t tell me, it’s someone from Ikon.”

I nod, “B.I.”


“Yep.” I pop my lips on the p.

GD take a deep breath, “I’m somewhere on this list right?”

“Yes, you are number 3!”

He releases the deep breath and relaxes he grip on me, “Thank god, I was going to kill that kid if not and take his place.”

“Where does that leave me?” Top asks with a big confident smile.

I actually feel bad when I say, “At number 2.” The rest of the boys laugh loudly at their hyung getting shut down, Unni is even hunched over laughing.

“Who the hell is at number one?” Top asks standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Top sit your butt down or I won’t let her tell you,” Unni says as she tries to stop laughing. Top drops back to his seat, still mumbling with a blush across his handsome face. “Go a head.”

“Xiumin from EXO.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I’m dumped on the couch as all of them stand over me like fathers about to scold a child.

“We lost to that little chipmunk!” Seungri snaps.

“Seriously Charlie? What the hell does he have that we don’t?” Top growls.

“Thank you for the list of people you are never allowed to interact with,” GD says as he snatches the list away from Unni who is dying of laughter at their loss.

“Ya!” I pout. “You can’t do that!”

“And why not?”

“Because I am a grown adult, not some child you can control. As I said this list was from before I knew you guys. I could say again, that you guys are my oppas not the idols I had posters of in my bedroom anymore, but I have feeling that won’t matter.” I snap back at them.

I’m surprised when Youngbae cracks a smile, “You had posters of us in your room?”

“Oh good I didn’t say that out loud did I?” I bury my face in my hands. Youngbae comes up and hugs me, laughing loudly.

“Our little princess had posters of us in her room, that’s so cute!” He swings me around as he laughs.

“Which one?” Daesung asks, giving me his large goofy smile when Youngbae lets me go.

“It’s has GD oppa with some multicolored fur, Youngbae oppa is blonde, Dae oppa looks really pretty, Top oppa is running his hand through his hair, while Seungri oppa is wearing some orange tie-dyed shirt.”

“I remember that one, do you still have it?” GD is now grinning happily.

“It’s on my wall at home with a few other posters.”


“Yea, I figured it would fit in better here than if I left it back in America.”

“Omo,” GD hugs me this time, “Our princess is so cute!”

“So are we all good?” I ask when GD lets me go.

“Yes Princess,” Daesung uses my new nickname cutely.  “We are always good, we are just going to get a little jealous now and than.”

“But we will always be your favorite, right?” Top pinches my cheeks.

“Of course.”

After a nice moment, Unni jumps up and says, “Now that all that is out of the way, about the show we are here for. You guys have thirty minutes to be at the stage.”

They let out a chorus of groans.

“Can one of the makeup unnies fix my makeup?” I ask Unni.

“Yea, give me a minute.” She runs into the hall for a minute, returning with a pretty girl about my age. The girl has me sit in one of the chairs in front of one of the many vanities. She quickly touches up my eye makeup, fixing my wings and eye shadow, unable to do much for my foundation since she didn’t have any dark enough to match my tan skin. When my make up is fixed, we head down the hall, my head down and sandwiched in between Top and GD. We reach the side of the stage and the guys are hooked up to their mics. They are talking to me none stop, explaining everything and everyone. I listen happily, enjoying the way their faces light up as they talk.

When it’s their turn to go on stage they place kisses on my forehead, much to Unni’s displeasure, and head out to their placements. I watch amazed as their switches flip from my oppas to the idol group big bang and I have to remind myself not to scream along with the crowd. I’m much to distracted by my amazing oppas to notice the group of staring boys collecting around me. But Unni makes me realize it when she wraps her arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. Looking over my shoulder I see not only BTS but also Got7 obviously gawking at me with no shame.  

“That love potion of yours’ must be strong tonight,” Unni whispers in my ear.

“Just don’t look at them, maybe they will go away,” I whisper back, urging her to look forward.

“Trust me, I’ve heard them talking,” A manly voice whispers in my other ear, “they will not be going away anytime soon of their own free will.” Unni and I both snap our heads to see Junhoe smiling down at both of us. “Noona, you got your make up fixed,” His face gets closer to mine so I can hear him over the music. “But they smudged it a little,” He reaches out and rubs away the smudge on my temple and smiles cutely. “All better.”

“Junhoe-ah,” Jinhwan comes up and swats Junhoe’s hand away from my face, “You can’t just touch the princess like that.” The oldest scolds cutely.

“I see you have a fan club!” Bobby teases as he joins us, gesturing to the growing group of boys, now adding a few of Seventeen’s members and I fear the rest will soon join.

“Can you make them go away?” I ask, more like plead, not want my oppas to come back to a group of boys gawking.

“Don’t worry about them, the minute the hyungs walk off stage they will scatter.” As he says that the song is over and my oppas quickly come off stage with big grins plastered on their sweaty but still handsome faces. I start clapping and smiling like an idiot when they reach me; trying to forget the boys, who like Bobby said, scattered but didn’t go far.

With an ear to ear grin GD asks, “How was it?”

“It was absolutely amazing! I have never been so happy!” I say happily, earning another forehead kiss from GD.

“I’m so happy our princess enjoyed the show,” His eyes shift to Ikon who has collected next to me. “And with your knights.” He teases the boys. They all take a step away from me, not enjoying the death glares they are receiving from Top, especially B.I.

“I may not mind this knight thing,” Youngbae steps up and places a hand on B.I’s shoulder, holding it tightly. “They can watch our little princess when we’re on stage, keeping all the other boys at bay,” His eyes scan back stage, stopping on each boy group that had been staring at me with interest.

“Leave the boys alone,” Unni scolds, taking Youngbae’s hand away from poor B.I. “We need to go talk about a few things,” She looks at me, “You can stay here with your knights.” My oppas glare at her while Ikon smiles like idiots.

“Noona,” Top starts but Unni cuts him off.

“It’s boring things Lottie has no interest it, she can sit out here and have more fun.” With that, the conversation is done and the boys are being dragged away by Unni, giving me apologetic stares. I would be lying if I say that I’m not at least a little comfortable with Ikon, most of them are younger than me so the lack of formality and their friendliness does help.

“We finally get the princess to ourselves!” Bobby yells happily, grinning like an idiot, making laugh. They stare at me, “I think that’s the first time we’ve heard you laugh.”

“It’s not that rare of an occurrence,” I smile at them.

“But I have a strong feeling that us see you is going to be rare,” Jinhwan responds.

“Yea probably, but you have more of a chance than those other boys since I spend most of my free time at YG.”

I’m surprised when Donghyuk speaks, “I feel like you don’t get much free time.”

“And you would be right.” They all frown, “But since we don’t have much time to talk before it’s your turn to go on stage lets not talk about my shitty schedule.”

They smile at that. We talk and talk for only twenty minutes but I feel completely at ease with them by the time they have to go on stage.

“How do we look?” Chanwoo asks as they all strike a pose together, earning a giggle from me. I try to not smile as I give each of them a once over, feeling completely envious of their perfectly ripped skinny jeans or tight leather pants. They are all wearing their nice leather jackets, and I have to admit they all look really good.

“You guys look hot,” I tease them, wanting to ruffle their hair but not wanting to mess up what stylist Unnies must have worked hard on. Most try not to blush except for Bobby and Junhoe who grin like the cocky guys that they are. They all quickly rush out on stage to begin dumb and dumber, one of my favorite songs.

I didn’t think about what would happen when they would leave me alone, I especially did not think sweet Lay from EXO would bump into me, almost knocking me on the ground. But thankfully, he catches me, wrapping his arms around me.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” His sweet sounding voice apologizes again and again. I’m far too dazed to make him stop and until his frown seems to deepen at my lack of response. “Are you okay?”

It takes me another minute to respond, “Yea, sorry, I’m okay thank you.”

“No, no, no, it’s my fault, I’m sorry,” He starts again with apologizes.

“Lay-ssi, it is completely fine.” I say sternly to stop his worrying.

He seems surprised at the sound of his name, “I’m sorry but do I know you?”

I shake my head awkwardly, “No, I’m actually a fan of yours.”

His eyes light up, “Really? Well I’m so luck to have such a pretty fan.” I blush at his words., as another thought occurs to me. I begin glancing around for the rest of EXO, not wanting to see them. Even though Xiumin is my bias I kind of fear EXO as a whole, not that I’m afraid of them, just that I will get so nervous and weird and say the wrong thing I would like to avoid them. Lay has always one I would like to talk to, not that he isn’t as attractive as the others or didn’t affect me ask much as them, his atmosphere is just much more relaxed and welcoming. “Is something wrong?”

I shake my head again.

Another smile graces his handsome face, “I feel bad not knowing your name.”


“Charlie,” He tests the name out on his tongue.

“Princess,” Bobby calls as they walk off the stage to Lay and I.

I quickly get myself out of Lay’s embrace before clapping for them, “You guys are great! I have always wanted to see you live!” I giggle gleefully.

“Why thank you my lady,” Yoonhyung says with a bow.

“I see you made more friends,” B.I says with a smile and a bow at Lay.

“You already have lots of friends, I see,” Lay smiles affectionately at me.

I grin and dramatically brush my hair out of my face, “What can I say, I’m a popular person. I mean I may not be on your guys level yet, there aren’t any fan clubs or posters but I’m pretty amazing.”

“I don’t know about the no fan club thing, you will probably have one by the end of the night if you keep bumping into people,” Jinhwan comes to stand next to me. He bows to Lay, “Hello Sunbaenim, where are your other member?”

“They should be coming around the corner any second.”

“Really?” I ask neverously.

Lay seems a bit taken back by my not so happy response, “I thought you were a fan?”

“I am I just-“ I’m cut off by someone yelling for Lay.

Fuck they’re here.

Introduction (as an Ambassador)

Greetings, everyone! The most of you  have, or might’ve had nicknamed me buru, because of this username that has just stuck by chance! So this is the nickname I will be using during my new responsibility as an Ambassador for the Hetalia Hub, representing Romania!

I will start with my activity regarding this blog, since it defines my position within the fandom: currently, I am the founder and admin of the Balkantalia discord server, whose goal is bringing closer people who like characters representing states from the cultural regions of the Balkans (cultural, because we have also included the controversial Romania, Hungary, Moldova and Turkey into our agenda!), including the Yugotalia characters. We were (and still are) a pretty small and scattered group, all in all, so I’ve found the creation of such a server to be quite essential. Starting from today, we also have a community blog over here, on Tumblr, too!

My artistic pursuits are pretty much all over the place, from making aesthetics, sketching and writing (and then complicating said chapter fics by turning them into larger projects), to making paper dolls and revamping plastic dolls as to resemble my favourite characters. But my main interest has always been general knowledge, and by that, I mean gaining as much knowledge as possible on my interested domains, which brings me to my next point.

As an ambassador, I will typically offer you information on Romanian history, culture, language, and so on, but I will also always make sure to explain the causes, events, mentalities, that have turned the said phenomenon an integrated part of our nation (if it really is, that is). In short, I’m going to do something we actually have an expression for over here: să desfac firul în patru (to untie the thread in four). I consider myself a person which gives very elaborate, complex, albeit most of the time a bit too complicated to understand, explanations, but this is my style that I will try to bring as close to my followers’ approach and wishes!

Regarding my heritage, I can say that my family is all from around the western and northern parts of Romania, having lived for 11 years in Oradea, the heart of the Crișana province (and also the residiency city of the county Bihor, just by the border with Hungary), and currently living in Timișoara, the main boiling pot of the incredibly multicultural province of Banat (by the border with Serbia and Hungary. (now, if i were to go deeper down my lineage, i’ll have to say that my great grandmother is from Bessarabia! population migrations in the case of foreign danger are a subject i hope to talk on one day!)

I guess these paragraphs are enough to understand what kind of person I am, at least in the slightest bit, aren’t they? I believe I will be in the middle of the statuses of a passive ambassador and an active one, but I can promise that I am going to write as many posts independent from the ask I’ll receive as I can!

P.S. : i hope that i will be able to collaborate as much as possible with the other romanian ambassador, @hetare-hetalia, which i also greet by this occassion! i will make sure to join the discord server too!

Hey buds, I’m gonna go mostly by ‘they/them/their/theirs/themself/etc.’ pronouns from now on because I find they make me a lot happier & I’m finally comfortable to use them overall.

I’m still reluctantly familiar with ‘she/her/hers/herself/etc.’ ones (just because they’ve been ingrained into my brain lmao) so don’t fret if you mess up but… I would strongly prefer it if you used ‘they/them/their/theirs/themself/etc.’ pronouns when talking about me!

I think I’m just gonna keep she/her/hers/herself pronouns to like my family (who I’m not out to - gender wise - and don’t real get genders outside of the binary).

Update: i came out as gq/nb to my family :) they are trying to use ‘they/’them pronouns more now and my new name/a nickname :D

If anyone, who knows me in real life, is reading this…. please… just try and use they/them…even when I’m not.. there…? But,,, like,, don’t worry if you get it wrong,,, it happens (i still make that mistake too with friends who go by the same pronouns!)… just know that 1) i am not a woman/girl/lady/female 2) i prefer to be referred to as ‘a person’ / gender neutral terms………… ok cool…

Thank you so much to everyone who has been kind, respectful and supportive to my gender.  I know a lot of you have known me when I still appeared to ID as ‘a woman’ so i really do appreciate any of positive response since I began to ID as genderqueer (prev. demigirl)…. I’ve managed 2 create a (mostly/overall) nice safe space here thanks to people like you! I know you may not really understand it all but I appreciate your efforts and/or respect nonetheless!

If you are unsure what to refer to me as, feel free to check this out or just ask!

I was tagged by @ruusupuu. Thank you very much. I hope everything is going well in your new flat.

  • Nicknames: Usually people just use my name or a shorter form of it, and then my aunt calls me Gioconda or just Gio.
  • Zodiac sign: Capricorn
  • Height: 164 cm.
  • Orientation: I don’t think about that much. I’d rather not put labels, so that I won’t question myself or the label if someday I like something I didn’t expect to like. It saves time and avoids headache. There are too many interesting things to be wondering about, way more interesting than this, and anyway it’s not like I’ll be touching anyway. However, I think I’m heterosexual, because usually I find male characters in fiction more attractive (also due to poor writing of female characters, let’s be honest) and light to fall more beautifully on men’s backs.
  • Nationality + ethnicity: Spanish and Italian.
  • Favourite fruit: Cherries! I smile just at the thought of them.
  • Favourite season: That intersection between autumn and winter, when autumn is getting to its end and winter beginning.
  • Favourite animal: I’m not quite sure. I like wolves, and penguins, and dolphins, foxes, jackals and a vast amount of birds.
  • Favourite book: This is even harder. I love Wuthering Heights (Emily Brönte) , Altazor (Vicente Huidobro), Cain (Lord Byron), Gone with the Wind (Margaret Mitchell), Resurrection (Lev Tolstoj), Tractatus (Ludwig Wittgenstein)… It’s hard, and I’m not good at making decisions.
  • Favourite flower: Peonies.
  • Favourite scent: The smell of recently made coffee on cold rainy early mornings, or the smell of wet fresh roses.
  • Favourite colour: At a noumenal level, I like greyish mauve (that one that can’t be really placed because it’s barely existent, but that sometimes appears between the pink and the blue parts in certain sunsets), but applied on a phenomenon I like vibrant dark shades of green.
  • Coffee | Tea | Hot cocoa: Coffee.
  • Cat or dog person: I think I’m more a cat person. They’re more independent in their way of loving.
  • Number of blankets you sleep with: One.
  • Favourite fictional character: Again I can’t make decisions because I’d be sad for three years afterwards. I love Hindley Earnshaw (from Wuthering Heights; but I love Cathy and Heathcliff as well), Ashley Wilkes (from Gone with the Winds, but again I love also Rhett and Scarlett) and I love Razumijin (from Crime and Punishment, probably the only good person of the list so far). But from popular culture I love Woody (Toy Story), the Millennium Falcon (Star Wars), Jack Vessalius (Pandora Hearts) and Regulus Black (Harry Potter). And Lancelot. Always Lancelot.
  • Dream trip: I’m a mess with these things, really. I should learn to make choices. I’d love to go see the Northern Lights. I’d love to go to Japan, Russia, and the Louvre. I’d love to go looking for Avalon in the mist. I’d love to go back to Rome, but not even on a trip; I think I would stay for good this time.
  • Dream trip: I don’t know, and I don’t know how to find the date. Maybe almost three years ago?
  • Number of followers: I think 256, but I don’t remember.
  • Random fact: I write my letters with green ink and I always take small pliers with me. Also, if it’s not a random fact about me, Cantor didn’t care much about some of the paradoxes of his theory, because that only meant one was getting closer to things of God.

I tag @lyrics-are-poetryy @holey-george @dracxlucius @princessofbookaholics @itsmagical @regulusarchieblack (it wouldn’t let me tag your main one).

You don’t have to do it, of course. Feel free to ignore it, but don’t feel so free as to jump from a very tall building, if you’re not certain you can fly. You might hurt yourself.

midnight-lesbian  asked:

I've been out as agender for a few months now and I know that misgendering/deadnaming myself is common until I'm used to it, but I was wondering if the fact that the new name I use is a nickname based on my deadname is making that harder for me. In which case, I would need a new name. But I'm unsure- is that really an issue or am I just overthinking things?

It’s kind of hard to answer this question, because everyone’s experience with this is different. If it’s causing you an issue, then it’s an issue. You could certainly try a different name to see if it makes it easier on you.


Short || Shawn Mendes Imagine

I have a request. It can be personal or y/n idc. my name is Sara and I’m 4'9 and 17 so yeah I’m pretty tiny and Shawns like 6'3 so I’d prob go just below his chest so may I please have An imagine where I feel slightly intimidated by his size even though he’s a cuddly kitten and sweet it still kinda scares me cause he’s huge and like I feel bad cause he always has to bend far down or pick me up just to kiss me.. Idk what else to say but just one about me being short cause I’m tiny. Thanks babe

–I hope you enjoy this Sara :)—

Being short wasn’t the best but you know I was all that bothered. Sometimes I could get insecure when my boyfriends fans would point out my height but I always managed to just ignore it.

What stung though was the fact that Shawn even commented on it and now we was fighting.

“It was a joke Sara!” Shawn was desperate to make me understand but I couldn’t help but feel annoyed and irritated.

“It didn’t sound like joking Shawn! If you wanted to joke around why did you have to choose my height?” I questioned, folding my arms over my chest.

“Because you have never bothered before! Why now all of a sudden are you angry at me?!” Shawn walked closer to me.

I took a step back a little scared as he towered over me. I looked up at the tall teenager, I call my boyfriend and have done for the past 10 months.

“I’m sorry” I squeaked.

Shawn soon realized what was going on and stepped back. He seemed concerned and scared.

“Are you afraid of me?” I immediately shook my head.

“Not you…just you height. It just intimidates me a little” I whispered.

Shawn lifted me up and placed me on his lap as he sat down. I placed my arms around his neck immediately.

“Look, I didn’t mean to scare you and I didn’t mean to call you short. I just didn’t think you minded. As for my tallness well I can’t really help that. Just know that I’m not going to hurt you. I would never” He planted a sweet kiss on my cheek.

“I know. Your my big friendly giant.” I smirked.

“Is that my new nickname?”

“Yup, so get used to it BFG” I then skipped out of the room giggling at the nickname I had given him.

—This ending was awful. Sorry guys—