using my intelligence

lololypopy  asked:

So many people are fighting for these lyrics interpretations 😥😥😥

1. Context is important in songs. “Olivia” wasn’t just about a girl. “Hey Angel” wasn’t a conventional love ballad. Music is, first of all, music. It is ABOUT music, refers back to music that has established a presence in its genre, shows what Harold Bloom called the “anxiety of influence.” “Olivia” is ABOUT love as much as it is ABOUT “Penny Lane.” “Hey Angel” is evoking obsessive love as much as it is an homage to “Bittersweet Symphony.” Honesty in music means an integrity to the truth of the music, and a smart understanding of it– of what music is trying to say, and how songs are linked. This is especially important for Harry, whose debut album is supposed to be heavily influenced by his understanding of rock ‘n roll. For instance, imho, the bass riff in “Ever Since New York” quoted from “Baby Blue” is intentional. By evoking it, ESNY is trying to influence our interpretation of ESNY, almost like an Easter egg thrown in to the music. Read the Wikipedia entry on “Baby Blue.” It’s a kicker.

2. Honesty in music doesn’t mean it’s literally autobiographical. Louis said his fav song in MITAM was “Love You Goodbye.” Did it mean Larry split up? We got a million hours of Next-To-You during MITAM promo. “End of the Day” wasn’t about a literal couple at a literal party. Pop music uses romantic imagination to tell stories in metaphors. Sometimes it’s darkly confessional. Sometimes it’s humorous. But always, the lyrics have been created by someone telling a story– they’re fictional. There may be truths in the sentiment of the songs; only the person who wrote it knows for sure.

3. Harry is a songwriter who likes shock and surprise. He likes jokes of all kinds– from dorky, groan-worthy jokes (“A cow says moo.”) to musical jokes. He likes writing provocative songs that invite speculation: “Something Great,” with Louis singing only the last lines, “Stockholm Syndrome” with its bondage imagery. It’s valid to speculate that “Carolina” is about cocaine. Harry probably anticipated this and enjoyed the thought of his fandom wildly speculating. He’s not going to tell. Who’s the “Sweet Creature”? He’s not going to tell (not until much, much later). Speculation SELLS SONGS. It’s great for business. It creates buzz.

4. There are a lot of ways to listen to songs. There’s the relaxed enjoyment of just having good music in your ears. There’s the intellectual understanding of musical theory and structure. There’s imagination about the true subject of the songs. In any case, I recommend not letting music cause any anxiety. Music, like creative writing or even non-fictional writing, is therapeutic for the artist. When Harry writes about heartbreak, he isn’t only reliving the heartbreak. In a way, he has made peace with it, and has transformed it into art. The fact that the lyrics seem so evocative and REAL means the songwriters did a good job. They made us FEEL something. Harry himself has moved on. We don’t need to feel angst for his life– he is a grown man, a professional artist. The music is exorcism for some ghosts, both in his personal life, and in his musical expression– these are songs that show his digestion and transformation of the music inside him. You can see how happy he was performing in the Today concert. The music is his craft and his livelihood. His obsession, now, is to present it well in performance, to do well in the charts, to collect accolades and respect. Remember this statement– doing well drives every aspect of his promo. His obsession isn’t the same as our obsession. The music is all new to us, but not to him. He has moved on. He is a musician, and it’s more important for him to get recognition as a musician.

Music is such an intimate way to communicate. It speaks to our imagination so directly and forcefully. It affects the most primitive parts of our brains, the limbic system, so closely tied to our instincts for survival: hunger, sex, fear, excitement, love, protectiveness. That’s why we have these unconscious and involuntary responses— it’s the damn nerves. Don’t blame yourself for responding to music the way you do. It’s built into your system, the way we all want to have good food and good sex. I want to send a little love to everyone who loves music in your own ways: you have feelings, you’re human, you’re alive. I love that you feel so intensely about music, because I do too.

Finally, it’s okay not to agree. It’s okay NOT to like Harry’s music. It’s okay to criticize the lyrics or music for artistic reasons. To me, being a fan means using my intelligence to judge merit for myself. Don’t beat yourself up for not liking something, and please don’t beat other people up. If you don’t like it, there are lots and lots and lots of other great music to listen to, I promise– music just as compelling, with just as great a backstory.

Things I forgot to tell you:
That I love you and that when I awake in the morning, I use my intelligence to discover more ways of appreciating you.
That I love you.
That I love you.
That I love you.
—   Anaïs Nin, from a letter to Henry Miller
100 Reasons to Study:

I never expected this “reasons to study” thing to get so many submissions, and as it takes me so long to post them all, I decided to do a bulk post of some so here they are:

(If I haven’t included a url, it was submitted by an anon).

  1. To prove people that “bad” students can become excellent students too.
  2. To expand your knowledge of the world.
  3. To look back on your success in ten years time. (Submitted byadxlastudies)
  4. To not let my mental illness define my grades. (Submitted bymusicandmaths)
  5. I study because I am privileged enough to have the opportunity. I study because I have no one getting in my way telling me I can’t. I study because I want to do some real good in this world. I study because I live in a country where being female has no significant disadvantage; and so, I take this opportunity so that I may make future opportunities for those who don’t have them. (Submitted by crimson-voltaire)
  6. My reason for studying is how I’ll get to where I want to be in my life which is successful, comfortable, and happy.
  7. I study to make my mum happy and proud.
  8. I study to prove my anxiety wrong!
  9. I study because I want to save lives.
  10. I study because my grandpa, orphaned during WWII when he was 8, worked 4 days a week in a mine to learn for 2 days. He’s retired after 40 years of working in diplomacy, for the last 5 years as an ambassador. He’s my role model. And I love him so much.
  11. I study because my primary school teacher from when I was 6 replied “Well who would think that?” when my mother informed her I was going to university. I study so I can tell her “Why would you not think that?”
  12. I study because I want to give myself the best future I possibly can as a black woman. (Submitted by n-marlzz)
  13. I study because my dreams are improbable. But not impossible. I will achieve them. (Submitted by redheadbecool)
  14. I study because even though I can’t imagine having a future, I want one. (Submitted by stxdys)
  15. I study so that I can be surrounded by the right people at school, at home, at work, and on Tumblr. You can only walk the path that you choose for yourself, so choose wisely. Pave your path with bricks, not straw.
  16. I study because last year I was in a mental hospital for young people and I discovered that I want my death to mean something.
  17. I study because diseases have haunted my family for long enough, and cancer deserves to be taken down once for all.
  18. I study because my father left school at age 13 to work to provide for his family and he has been working ridiculously hard ever since so I can have an education.
  19. I study to be self reliant and to get more answers. The concept of being independent is attractive to me, and if i study hard enough, i will be able to live freely without relying on my parents. The thought of getting answers is a huge satisfaction.
  20. I study because I told my ex, “Watch me go to Harvard”. So oops.
  21. Because I want to have a well paying job which means I can eventually travel the world one day.
  22. I study because I love to be productive really just in love with the feeling of it being noon and already have gotten everything done that I needed for that day. (Submitted by revision-babe)
  23. I want and I like to study because I believe that we as humans have the responsibility of maintain and grow the knowledge people developed in the past. How could we waist all those efforts to try know this wonderful world a little better?  (Submitted by mochilunar-universe​)
  24. I study because my Dad went through a lot of work to get to this country so that I could have a good life and a good education, and I’m not going to waste all his good efforts and take him and my education for granted.
  25. Because I believe I can do it and I won’t let their words stop me. (Submitted by truly-written-by-me)
  26. I study for my own sense of achievement! I’m also really motivated by my boyfriend who is very clever and works really hard. I want to get a first in my masters this year and I will!  (Submitted by @orchidbeam)
  27. I study for Nicki Minaj, she would be proud of me, and all the other women in the world. I hope that my degree will put me in the position to make a better world for all my sisters out there and the little ones.
  28. I study because my family isn’t as rich as our family friends, and other families always make fun about what my dad does for a living. I want to change that and make sure the only thing others talk about is how amazing we turned out and what a good career I’m going into.
  29. I study to make my parent’s hardships (moving to America, to provide a better life for my siblings and I) worth it.
  30. My reason to study is to show myself and everyone I am stronger than my mental illness and to prove everyone who said it would stop me from getting anywhere wrong.
  31. I study so I can change the world for the better.
  32. I study because I want to help my family, to fulfil my dreams and save lives.
  33. To be a champion.
  34. I want to study in order to prove myself and people that being dyslexic and dysorthographic doesn’t mean being stupid.  (Submitted bybritannicusmyfav)
  35. I love to learn,and I want to know about all the things I missed because of school system. (Submitted by @seshet)
  36. I study because I want to be the first sibling to go straight into uni without transferring from a community college.
  37. I want to study so that I can transfer out from a community college to a really good university so that people won’t think the decision I made to go to community college was bad. Also to make my DAD super proud!
  38. I study because I want to be the best version of myself.
  39. I study to make those who have taken care of me proud, to show them they did a good job. I also study for myself, to prove that I can fulfil my goals and that everyone who has ever made fun of me just pushed me forward instead of putting the boot in. Getting a good job to live with my boyfriend would be a great plus! We all need motivation, and what’s better to motivate oneself than dreams to fulfil! Here are mine. (~Submitted bystudy-littleidlegirl)
  40. I study because I never want to stop learning about myself and the world we live in.
  41. I study so I’m educated enough to take down the haters in an articulate way so I feel accomplished when leaving the situation.
  42. I study to ensure that when I’m actively in politics, only weak minded people will be able to scorn me due to my ethnic background or religion (or something stupid along those lines) instead of the immaculate policies and work I am carrying out.
  43. I study to become successful in my future and because I have a passion for learning. (Submitted by baklavugh)
  44. I study because I don’t have anything else to do. I guess it keeps me so busy that I don’t have time to think how lonely I am.
  45. Because it makes me happy to see my hard work paid off and also ensures a better future than I would have if I didn’t study well. (Submitted by h4rshitaa)
  46. I study to be able to pursue the career I want. For the thrill of knowledge, the security of understanding. For the way it shapes how I interpret the world. I study not because it is something I must do, but because it is something that is a part of who I am.  (Submitted by @audesapare)
  47. I study to improve my mind so I can understand deeply the things people thought I was not capable of understanding. I study so I can live the most fulfilled life possible. I take every second of this life as a chance to learn and improve myself.
  48. Because I’m going to prove girls are useful for more then just looks and a sex object.
  49. I study to open doors of opportunity. I study to improve my and others lives. I study to feel good when I go to sleep. I study to feel confident with my ability. I study to prove to myself what I can do.
  50. Because I want to show to my child that everything needed effort and passion. Also I want to show how important knowledge is, as a mom and as a housewife. (Submitted by studymamapartiallyhousewife)
  51. I study because it makes me happy to know I am in control of my future.
  52. I study because I am curious.
  53. So that I won’t have to struggle like my parents are financially.  (Submitted by study-sugar)
  54. I study because I want my single mother who has worked so hard for my education to live a better life when she’s older. I want her to look at me in the future, sitting in my office in a law firm and telling herself “it was all worth it”.
  55. FOR NICKI MINAJ. I WILL GO TO A HIGHER EDUCATION FOR YOU.
  56. I study so that I can be proud of the person that I am.
  57. I study because I want independence. After my bachelor’s degree I plan to be able to continue into further study such as an MA and support myself. I am an only child which has always led my family to be over protective and education will always be my way in holding my own in the world.
  58. I study so I can have the freedom to leave where I am now and actually be happy for a change. Without studying I wouldn’t be able to get the job nor satisfaction in life I know I deserve.
  59. I study because it’s the one thing I can decide for myself.
  60. I study because knowledge is power and I never want to feel inferior to anyone or have any regrets. I don’t want anything to hold me back from achieving my dreams. (Submitted by shreestudies)
  61. I study so I’m not so nervous for tests. Also to improve myself and my learning.
  62. I study because I have a huge thirst for knowledge. I love to learn and allow that to change me as a person for the better. I love being able to understand the world around me and contribute my opinions that have been developed from what I’ve learned. (Submitted bymymindssecretpalace)
  63. I want to be a successful person in life. I can use my intelligence to help those in need. Besides, people won’t belittle or pick on my appearance! ✌
  64. I study because I want to help others and make people aware that how important it is to be literate. (Submitted by anashiv)
  65. I study to show that I have potential. I study to show my learning disabilities and adhd is not me. I study because I want to grow. I study to be the person I know I can be, the person I know I am.
  66. I’m so tired of not passing my tests, of feeling like I don’t know the material. I have testing anxiety which prevents me from doing well. I want to study enough that I feel so comfortable with the material and the anxiety goes away. I want to study so I can begin feeling proud of myself and all my accomplishments.
  67. To help those struggling with different mental illnesses and help them see a better light.
  68. Because I want to build that building.
  69. I study because I want to prove all my male teachers and friends, that not only boys are learning the best, and if I want to, I can beat them all!
  70. I want to study to make my parents proud after all the sacrifices they made for me and to succeed so my family and I can live a better life.
  71. I study because I love to learn new things. (Submitted by ki-soonal)
  72. I study to find a solution to stop the passing on of the genes for hereditary diseases. As in to reduce risk of young children being diagnosed with hereditary diseases.
  73. To get that dream job and slay everyone who said it was too difficult for me.
  74. Because education is awesome.
  75. So I can change the world.
  76. To give my mom and dad the life they deserve! (Submitted by samiya-malik)
  77. Because everything is a competition and I must be best. (Submitted by letustudy)
  78. To prove to myself and others that I can do anything I set my mind to. (Submitted by studiousstudying)
  79. So when you are taking a test/exam your anxiety and stress levels are lower. (Submitted by introvertedturtlequeen)
  80. I study because I want to know I’ve earned everything I achieve.
  81. The biggest reason I study is that all of my friends are incredibly smart and when I was younger I wanted to prove to them that I could keep up, but now that I’ve decided that I don’t need to compete, I study just because it makes me feel good. (Submitted by queen-elbow)
  82. I study because the world is an interesting place, and I want to know it as deeply as possible. (Submitted by matchamonstr)
  83. I study because I am so sick and tired of seeing my mom struggle, all because she didn’t have a good education. I don’t want to wake up to a job I absolutely dread, and be paid minimum wage. I want to say “thanks mom, I can take care of you now.”
  84. I study to grow big enough to reach my high hopes. (Submitted by seriousstudygirl)
  85. To see the look on my mum and dad’s face when they see my results. (Submitted by seizethesaturday)
  86. I study because I love to crush my enemies. I like to see the looks on their faces when they see me succeed. (Submitted by dirtylaundry-emptystyrofoam)
  87. I study because I feel the need to prove to the world that I am more than a child prodigy that burnt out one day. I need to prove to myself that I’m just as good, if not better than I used to be. That I’ve got places to go and people to prove wrong.
  88. I study because I love to teach and I want to know everything that I can so that I can more clearly convey things to others, and to be able to make connections across topics to make things personal and interesting to them. (Submitted by the-homework-fandom)
  89. My dream as a little girl was “to be the most smartest person ever” and I still don’t know what else to do. (Submitted by polaroceanographer)
  90. To create room for the real me in the future.
  91. My reason for studying is so I can get into the university I want, and not have to travel away to one. (Submitted by iggythedragonslayer)
  92. To get a well paid job so my children can have the best possible life.
  93. My reason to study is to prove to my parents and myself that I can achieve my goals without the help of others. My reason to study is to gain valuable knowledge, NOT just for a grade.  (Submitted by barbstudies)
  94. To prove to myself that I am strong and can reach my goals. (Submitted by scared-robot
  95. I study so I have a chance of getting into the United States Air Force academy… 
  96. I study so I am offered to meet interesting people that are also studying the same field as I am. (Submitted by ghostsname)
  97. I’ll study so I can live relaxed as a cat in Hokkaido.
  98. *Shia LaBoeuf voice* JUST DO IT
  99. So I can prove myself that I am, indeed, intelligent and not just some bimbo with a hollow head. (Submitted by study-guerassimovna)
  100. Because learning new things and having a more informed view of the world is beautiful. (Submitted by studism)
I am only a teenager and I have already felt my mind turn bitter and cynical. I am only a teenager and I have also realized the flaws in that way of life and know that there is a phase beyond. I am only a teenager and I have tried stopping feeling anything to make the pain go away. I am only a teenager and I now understand that the good is worth the bad, and that numbness is the only feasible hell on earth. I am only a teenager and I have been a prejudiced person. I am only a teenager and I know that what I thought, said, and did in the past is wrong. I am only a teenager and I used to blurt out any opinion that I had without caring if it was educated or not. I am only a teenager and I now understand that many of my opinions are unfair, a result of my own bias, and should not be voiced until I actually know what I’m talking about. I am only a teenager and I see people destroying themselves every day. I am only a teenager and I know how to and have to talk to people about trauma they’ve endured without being overbearing. I am only a teenager and I regularly witness the horrors that are the lives of people I love. I am only a teenager and I have matured far beyond my years. I am only a teenager, and I am much much older than most adults.
—  So do not EVER tell me teenagers have no life experience

freaky-zombie-chick  asked:

Today is my b-day ((the 28th)) and I was wondering if I could smooch a certain skeleton or at least a hug.

*Of course!  Happy birthday, my zombie friend~! <3


Horrortale birthday wishes.

There’s a cake on the table when you enter the skelebros’ house, one that was obviously crafted by Papyrus, and the icing is shining a slick, dark red.  It looks lumpy and uneven, but there are candles protruding from the top that illuminate the dark interior of the house–all different styles and sizes, dripping multi-hued wax onto the icing.  

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Papyrus shouts, lumbering from the shadows and bending his spine to grin at you.  “I HEARD FROM SANS THAT IT WAS YOUR SPECIAL DAY!  AND OF COURSE, THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS AN EXPERT AT MAKING DAYS SPECIAL, SO I WENT WITH HUMAN TRADITION AND BAKED A CAKE!”

You feel a skeletal hand grasp your shoulder, and Sans steps from the shadows, his usual manic grin stretched wide across his features.  “happy birthday,” he murmurs with a shrug.  Papyrus looks at him disapprovingly.  

“SANS!  WHAT DID YOU GET THE HUMAN?!”

“uh… nothing,” he flatly states.  “you baked a cake.  that’s more than enough.”
The cake did mean quite a bit, all things considered.

But Papyrus was unwavering in his stance, his bony brows furrowed.  “SANS!  IF THIS HUMAN IS TO BE YOUR MATE–”

“mate?”

“—THEN YOU NEED TO AT LEAST TRY TO MAKE THE DAY SPECIAL!  HERE!”  

Papyrus slaps a bow on Sans, but Sans jerks away from the movement.  The bow ends up protruding from his unlit eyesocket.  

“THERE!  NOW YOU’RE THE GIFT!  NYEH HEH HEH, THE GREAT PAPYRUS THINKS OF EVERYTHING!”  Papyrus stands proud, his cape billowing… despite there not being any wind??  Is he using his magic to appear gallant?  Either way, Sans rolls his single, enlarged eyelight and shrugs again.

“welp, if i’m the gift, then come get me.”  

In the next moment, Sans has his arms around you, leaning you back slightly while he presses his teeth to your lips.  His tongue is quick to manifest, the tip trailing along your lower lip to leave sparks and tingles of magic in its wake, and he lets his touch linger, savoring the feeling.  His touch is a little rough, arms holding you firmly against the unyielding solidness of his body, and when he finally pulls away, he runs his tongue along his teeth.  It glows dimly in the darkness of the house, but his eyelight seems brighter than before–despite being constricted and focused solely on you.  

“you wanna unwrap your gift now?” Sans inquires, his smirk seeming more natural and good-natured.

“THERE’S NO TIME FOR ADDITIONAL GIFTS, SANS!  WE HAVE TO SING BEFORE THE CANDLES MELT!  AND SO THE HUMAN CAN MAKE A WISH!”

Sans doesn’t sing, but he does hum under his breath while Papyrus belts out an amended version of the song.  

There’s a different kind of hunger in his gaze, one that promises you a good night should you choose to unwrap your present.  

@hardly-used-intelligence who posted about “naruto au where everything is normal but Kakashi is southern.”

I live in the Southern U.S., so I’ve been laughing about your post since yesterday. I keep picturing how different the bell test would have been with Southern Kakashi. My husband (who has lived in the south his whole life) said it would probably involve “guns, bear traps, chicken wire, ATVs, and a rabid raccoon.”  

Naruto: Hey, Kakashi-sensei, what kind of kunai is that?

Southern Kakashi: It’s not a kunai. It’s a buck knife.

I drew this super fast, so I apologize for the overall craptastic-ness of the art. Once it was said though, I needed to see Southern Kakashi. It’s almost as if Kakashi is cosplaying as my husband, hahaha!

The Real Killer - Vegas Andrews (ft others)

@mrs-jughead-jones this short fic goes out to the theory makers on Rose’s tumblr right now, I’m having the time of my life and decided to make a small fic, inspired by this debate.

Words: 1,317

Warnings: Doge / Violent Doge / Swearing Doge

DOGE POV

Archie and Drughead were caught up in their own problems, I don’t know what they were because I am a dog, but I didn’t really care because it meant I got petted therapeutically. That seemed to be my job. When someone was contemplating or having an existential crisis, they would pet me. Drughead preferred to flap my ear around which is…. nice?

They were so fixated on their own issues that they didn’t even realise the killer was right in front of them. To a smelly hooman, it would look like I was simply sitting at Drughead’s side, staring into space and just generally being a dog. But IT’S ALL LIEEEESSS!!!

Inside my mind, I was conspiring and plotting my next move. I had gone off the rails and there was no going back….

It all started back when….


“Woof woof” I barked as I watched Drughead’s mother load her car, daughter’s hand in her own. She had finally had enough with FP and they were moving far away. I wasn’t particularly fussed, because i am a dog, until I noticed the metal cage at the back of the van.

I bounded towards it, barking aggressively. I heard a restrained response from behind the prison bars of the cage. It was my dog bae, my man crush monday, Hot Dog! They couldn’t take Hot Dog. 

I felt my fur coat burn with teenage dog angst, and I ran over to Drughead, clawing at his suspenders, a plead for him to do something. He was too invested in saying goodbye to his sister.

PFFFT, INCOMPETENT HOOMANS WITH NO AWARENESS OF PRIORITIES.

I had to sit and watch as my dog bae was taken away from me. The only other intellectual in this town. I felt sad and angry and emotions that were indescribable. I mean how could I describe them? I’m a fucking dog.

I swore vengeance on my friend/bae/one-time hookup that day. I would get Hot Dog back, whatever it took.


After stalking the Jones household for a few months, i found out that Drughead had left the house to live in the drive-in. This is a dumb idea because the drive-in has no fridge that i am aware of, and that means it’s harder to access food. Food accessibility is another priority in my books. This just adds to the novel i’m writing about the fact that hoomans have no intuition.

Speaking of DRUGhead, turns out that the Dad was high like 98% of the time. This I guess, is why half of his family left. I’ve always wanted to 420 blaze it, but i never have, because i’m a dog.

I followed him on daily basis, trailer park to drive-in, trailer park to drive-in. He had a black jacket with a green worm on the back, along with the rest of his “friends”. I assumed these were his druggy buddies. Drughead was pretty clueless, considering he lived there.

I watched overtime, as the connections with the drugs grew. Reaching out to buyers like Hiram Lodge, a wealthy businessman. FP was getting a lot of money/benefits from these deals, but being a dumbass human, wasted his rewards on alcohol. You see, I may never have been high, but boy have I been drunk.

Perhaps, I could use my intelligence to manipulate stoopid hoomans. I could work my way to the top and maybe offer the Jones’s a huge cash sum to get my friend back! It was a genius plan!


I trained my nose to sniff out Green Worm drug stashes. I became known as “The Hound”, a mysterious thief who kept stealing the stock of the Green Worms. This was quite funny, because I am actually a dog. Hahahhhahahahhah.

The drugs I managed to anonymously deal were stamped with the Green Worm mark, so I couldn’t be blamed for my crimes. At the end of the day, if anything went wrong, FP would be blamed for my misdeeds, not me.

It all went downhill when I got involved with a certain ginger. 

Jason Blossom.

He was looking for some serious last-minute money, so he could escape the town with his preggo my leggo girlfriend. The Blossom’s were the most influential family and town, and they were very very rich, which meant I could exploit Jason for a long amount of time before finally letting him go.

I offered him a job to do for me, entrusting him with the drugs through anonymous mail. Don’t ask me about the mailing process, it’s too complex for hoomans to understand. I put my faith in him. I was desperate at this point, Hot Dog was so close yet so far and I had to push myself and my doggy drug business to the extreme.

He was supposed to take the drugs, sell them to the students at Riverdale High, and give me back his earnings. I had sent him letters, written with my own paws, about how when his job was truly done he would be paid what he deserved. I meant it, but he just couldn’t trust in me for that long. He was  getting desperate too. WELL IT’S A DOG EAT HOOMAN WORLD SONNY JIM.

He thought I wouldn’t notice when he started to take half of the days profits for himself. I was enraged. I also had fleas at this time which is practically the equivalent of a doggy period so I was incredibly pissed off.

Jason knew I was on to him, when i sent him hate mail and insulted his Sailor Moon ships. He was going to pack a getaway car and be out of there by morning. Oh helllllllll no, not today. 

Jason had messed with the wrong canine. I thought about Fred and Archie, the affection they showed me. Then my mind went deeper, to the thoughts of the Blossom’s and how they tried to control Fred’s life and work. I got angrier by the second and I knew that was when I had to take action.

I waited, on the 4th of July, by the riverbank for Jason to arrive. He arrived with his sister looking like twins that deserved a place in The Shining. They rowed over to where I was, and Cheryl left him to die. Fake die. OR SO SHE THOUGHT! Jason was filled with paranoia though, his guard was up and I couldn’t strike without getting hurt in the process. So, I used my doggy hulk strength, and pushed a tree down on him. He somehow got out alive, so I patiently awaited a week for him to wake up. This seemed to work though, because I could get his preggo my leggo girlfriend to pay ransom, or the same from the Blossom’s. Nobody showed up though. I slowly started getting bored, and when dogs get bored they get mad.

Playing fetch by myself was becoming tiresome.

Jason for some stupid reason wasn’t awake, but when he did wake up, he might get away. I couldn’t risk that, he would tell everyone about my scheming and I would be stuck in the pound for the rest of my life with big man Dave. Not Dave. Anyone but Dave.

So I do what most dogs do when their mad.

Charge into the intended victim with a P99 before popping a cap in their head. Followed by nudging into the rivers currents so he would float away like he was in the river of lost souls from my favourite disney movie, Hercules.

I used my handy paws to big a deep hole to China, where I hid the murder weapon. To avoid suspicion, I would have to put my drug hauling on hold and return to my normal life at the Andrew’s house.


I’m still yet to get my bae back, BUT I WILL.

FOR I, 

VEGAS MARTINEZ RONALDO CHRISTIAN JESSICA DYLAN O’BRIEN ANDREWS

KILLED.JASON.BLOSSOM.

woof woof motherfuckers.


EVERYTHING

@mrsjugheadjonesthethird @jvghead-jones-iii

RIVERDALE
@theselfishllama  

When I make too many pun jokes in front of my friends.

Legends of Tomorrow — S1E1  {Sentence Starters}

  • ❛❛ He has achieved what no one in human history ever has. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ What’s your name…? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Your mother was brave. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ We are not warriors. We possess no army. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ The golden age of gasoline engines, online pornography, and those silly little smartphones. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ This feels good, being back in the field. Not that this is a field, but… ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Too late to turn back now. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ My night’s about to get a whole lot worse, isn’t it? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ They have guns. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Join me for a drink? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I have come quite a long way to meet you. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I thought I told you to be careful! ❜❜
  • ❛❛ What’s the use of sharing my intelligence if you won’t listen? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You, my love, almost got us killed. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Cops’ll never hassle a dad buying diapers in the middle of the night. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Why don’t you ask the dude who knocked us out and kidnapped us? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ While you were incapacitated, I may have tampered with your weapons. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You got the wrong guy. ‘Hero’ ain’t on my resume. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ It’s fun to watch you kick and punch and skewer bad guys, but I need a minute of your time. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m as trusting as you are cynical. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I died once. At least, the world thought I did. You know what happened? Nothing. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ God, if you only knew how I loved you, and how much… how much it hurt every time he took you away from me. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Be a hero in the light. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You’ve lived in the shadows long enough. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I can’t believe you’re thinking of hooking up with the Englishman. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I have no desire to save the world. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ We hate working and we love money. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You want me in, I’m in. But I’m not gonna be anyone’s hero. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Do you have any idea what an extraordinary opportunity we’ve been given? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I think we’re being punked… do people still say ‘punked’? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You don’t look too happy to be here. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Whatever you roofied him with, I’d like some. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Just hang on and remain calm. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I can’t believe you kidnapped me. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Why does this stupid station play nothing but reruns? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You still don’t remember me, do you? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I don’t remember you. I’m so sorry. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ The more the world is focused on destroying itself, the less it notices an immortal psychopath in its midst. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Who wants to listen to some Captain and Tennille? My mother played it. A lot. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You’re not my type. But your lady, on the other hand… well, she looks just my speed. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Me being here - it’s all a big mistake. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You need to get us out of here now! ❜❜
  • ❛❛ We’re not going anywhere unless our son’s coming with us. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ We go out for one lousy drink, and you guys somehow manage to pick a fight with Boba Fett. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ We’ve barely begun, and already this is the worst, unmitigated disaster of my career. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I see why you got the hots for that one. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ My son is hurt because of you. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Start telling the truth! ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Of course I lied to you. I needed your help. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t kill you. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I like being part of a team, man. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ If we have the power to change the world, don’t you think we have the power to change our own fate? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I like killing people. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m just trying to make this world a better place, one war at a time. ❜❜

A personal opinion: as someone who so far has always dumped and has never been dumped, I really wish “it’s not you, it’s me” wasn’t seen as a joke or as a bad excuse… In my experience it’s literally always been me and my multitude issues, and never the other person’s fault or inability to be loveable

I! WANT! A! CUTE! GIRLFRIEND! FROM! POLAND! AROUND! MY! AGE!

i think that growing up unable to really understand how emotions work for most people and why they did the things they did, i got used to questioning my intelligence and even my overall perception of things.

so if i’m gullible, it’s because i’m used to accepting that other people know better than me.

What it's Like being an Ugly Duckling Sugar Baby

Being pretty has its perks. For example, you get to have a chance at being a sugar baby. But what happens when you used to be an ugly duckling? Is the sugar bowl just as sweet if you used to be ugly? I used to be unattractive. I was less than plain looking, obese, and I had a face full of acne scars. Just three years ago, I was invisible to the opposite sex. I envied the pretty girls in my high school. Life seemed easier and so much sweeter for them. They were perfectly thin, painstakingly beautiful, and men seemed to bask in their effortless goddess glow. 

Then there was me. I was bullied relentlessly in middle school for my plain Jane looks. I was called Shrek, a cavewoman with big breasts, and other nasty names. I moved to a new neighborhood in ninth grade and went to a suburban high school. I went from being a target for abuse to being so invisible that I would come home crying because the feeling of being alone was so unbearable. I needed to stand out so I became a studious nerd. I read voraciously, studied up to four hours a day, and never had a social life. 

I wanted so desperately to be pretty. I imagined life would be so much better if I wasn’t fat and ugly. And it seemed like fate was listening to my endless pleas for beauty. I became pretty nearly overnight during the last few months of my senior year in high school. I lost nearly 65 pounds. I went from a size 17 pants to a size 6 (sometimes 8). I learned how to put on makeup properly. My acne got better. And I got new glasses. The attention I received went from ridicule to being told over and over how pretty I had become. The attention was a bit addicting and I entered college as a pretty girl. So what on Earth does this have to do with being a sugar baby? A lot actually. This is what it’s like being a sugar baby who used to be an ugly duckling: 

1. I don’t know how to effectively negotiate allowance. Not only is it super awkward, I can’t really gauge what would be a fair allowance for someone like me. I usually lowball myself and when I try to raise the bar, it backfires. My confidence in asking for allowance is just not there. 

2. It’s awkward being told by sugar daddies how beautiful I am. I can’t help but questions their motives and I really cannot see what they see. I don’t know how to use my beauty to get what I want. And flirting seems like a foreign language. When a sugar daddy is flirting with me, I smile awkwardly and most times look away.  

3. I can’t help but use my intelligence more than my looks. Back in high school, I had no choice but to develop my intelligence and charm people with my personality. Now I can use my looks instead, but my default mode is impressing a POT with how much I know about politics, current affairs, and writing. 

4. I end up being super intimidating. Many men on seeking arrangement tell me how they don’t message me because I come across as intimidating. Not only am I super smart, but now I’m beautiful. So, I guess that’s why I get lots of views but little messages. And I can’t really help it. 

5. I’m humble and modest. I never demand allowance and I don’t have an entitlement attitude. This is because there was nothing to feel entitled about. The only thing though is that it’s hard to accept compliments.

6. Being pretty is not all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, it’s nice, but I’ve noticed how much emphasis people put on a woman’s beauty. We live in a shallow society and that I know from experience! So, that’s what it’s like. The sugar bowl can be just as sweet, but it takes a little more effort if you used to be an ugly duckling.