okay so anyways, story time:
this one time my two friends and i had an english assignment to write an essay about the tragic elements of julius caesar. boring, anyway, yeah, we finish our essays and we’re all hanging out the night before it’s due, and we remember that our teacher actually lives really close to my house??? like a minute walk tops. and one of my friends mentions this girl who used to hand in her assignments in envelopes with a wax seal and left them on the doorstep of her teacher. so in our tired, carbohydrate-addled brains we’re like “that’s a FUCKIGN good idea shit man we have got to fucknig do thta RIGHT NOW”.
so we dig around my jewelry box and find this UGLY ASS owl ring that i had stashed away somewhere and we’re like aw this is fuckin PERFECT. so we print our essays (yes all three, there were t h r e e of us who thought this was a good idea) and tuck them into this official looking manila envelope. we find this red candle and melt it down, right?? problem is, these wax seals that they used to use in medieval times and game of thrones episodes have SPECIAL fuckin wax that is made for that shit. we did not know that…at the time…ok, so we melt this wax and we pour it very carefully on the envelope, but because the envelope is flat on the ground it just runs halfway down the thing, just goes fuckign EVERYWHERE. we don’t give a SHIT, and we press that ugly fuckin owl ring in there. then, one of my friends is like “wow i’m gonna put my finger print in the wax” and then we fucking ALL do it, as if it’s not at all creepy to put your fingerprints in a wax seal that’s supposed to go to your teacher?? we write his last name on the envelope and take it w us, right, okay.
so at ELEVEN AT NIGHT, we walk over to my teacher’s house and the lights are all off and then we realize that this….,.,.is fuckin WEIRD AND CREEPY. yes. only THEN did we realize this. so we end up fuckin around in his driveway for a full five minutes contemplating who is ballsy enough to run up to his doorstep and drop off the envelope cause we weren’t sure if he had a motion activated light or not. then my friend GRABS that envelope and just rips to the door, drops it on the mat, runs back to us, says “go gogogogogogooggo fuckfyck” and we start RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD BACK TO MY HOUSE.
when we get there we realize how fuckin creepy it was, and we start freaking out. like we actually think we could be expelled for this odd shit (we were really tired and freaked out ok shut up) and so we try our best to forget about it and go to sleep. when we wake up, my friend has a text from her mother and it’s just a picture of a text she got from the teacher we submitted our essays to. so we start freaking out until we realize he’s written, “someone’s submitted their essay like a ninja in the night and i think it was your daughter and her two friends.”
so yeah anyway this is the story of how my teacher is the fcukgin coolest for not expelling me for putting a weird sketchy package on his doorstep nice