using

i’m done… with being manipulated, with people that pretend to care about me, with people that run the second things go wrong, with being not seen as worthy and beautiful, with people who can lie straight to my face and not feel an ounce of regret. it’s a new year and i refuse to let you mess this year up for me too
—  i’m done with you
Just when I think I’ve learned from my mistakes, I find myself staring up at the ceiling of a strange room. With a stranger curled behind me, his arm resting on me. Trapping me to him.
—  Excerpt from the book I’ll never write // I’ll never learn

And I never quite understood
why people let others
reach into them and
pull out what they liked
and discard the rest
then walk away
and I never quite understood
why people let others
treat them like they were
replaceable, discardable, forgettable
I spent countless hours
at 3 am and 3 pm
consoling my friends
asking them over and over
why, why, why
you knew he was bad
You knew she was
a monster with bright red
nails and sharp tint
in her eyes
and they would say
if only you knew
they would give up
everything they had
for just one more second
and I never could understand.

And then I met you
and it all made sense.

—  I would sell my soul for one more touch by a.k.s