use a condom shirt

RTExtraLife Quotes Bob Ross to 2spooky

“God I’m horrifying”

“Children are weak and feeble and die a lot”

“*whispering* ohhhhh ohhhhh ohhhhh ohhhh”

“What the fuck is a sausage fight?”

“Those children ain’t gonna save themselves they need that money”

“Most small, soft skulled, prone to disease children wouldn’t survive”

*Brandon paints with a sausage*

*Zach puts paint brush on pants*

“It looks like I shit the front of my pants”

*Aaron flips off Barb*

*Miles hugs painting*

“I forgot to sign my painting” *stabs painting with knife*

“That’s a paint glory hole”

“I made an easel fort” *easel draped around head*


“I could take you in a sausage fight”

*Brandon throws sausage and breaks a glass*

“I got this for you” *hands skinned sausage*

“Or are you an off screen voice of the devil?”

“I peddle in money and broken dreams”

“Everybody eats a pie at there own pace, not a pie eating contest, and that raises a bunch of money.”

“Die alone and eat a donut”


“We were hitting each other with raw sausage?? Chris what is wrong with you”

“I get outta this chair when you throw me out of it, you son of a bitch!”

“I got my whale underwear on today”

“I can do anything Chris can do, but better!”

“It might be water, it might be vodka who knows”

“Zach are you just planking?”

“There’s some twerking requests”

*Chris explains childbirth*

“They kissed each other on the mouth, then they kissed each other on the organs”

“So your mom put your dads penis into her vigina”

“These little men [sperm] swam inside your mom” “I’m a good swimmer”


“This explosion of sperm formed a face, and arms, and legs” “Well it didn’t finish” (Zach is cripple)

“Knock knock. Who’s there? Let me out of your vigina.”

“Are you gonna donate your beard to locks of love?”

“You can stick your penis through it when you get it”

“I do it all for the attention, it’s not for kids at all”

“We spent $80 on sausage and eggs”

“We bought eggs, sausage, and condoms”

“I have four different flavored condoms for taste testing”

“Blaine did you just rob a convenient store”

*sticks entire condoms in mouth*


“I don’t want you to deepthroat me”

“You just had us eat condoms for sick kids”

*Blaine rips off Aaron’s shirts*

“Yeah I got condom breath too”

“It’s like Jesus, you’re washing his feet”

“Can you paint over his shitty snake-skin boots too? That’d be great”

“What are you doing, ball painting?”

*Chris sticks ass in Aaron’s face*

“What you’re chest hair is falling out? NO!!!”

“Go give Barbara a hug” “Don’t fucking touch me!”


“Miles almost ate shit.”

*to jacks beard* “I always hated you”

“Joel hates children”

“You have little lips”

“It’s like watching a monster emerging from the fog”

“He’s playing with his nipples”

“Hold on I need to go get drunk”

“Anything goes in a cockfight”

“I’m ready to watch balls get gobbled”

“He is gobbling every ball”


“It’s fine there’s booze over there anyway” “Spoken like a true loser”“

“I’m gonna give him the D so….”

“It’s just sausage, condoms, and vomit”

“All the better to knock you the fuck out”

“When did you make a deal with the dragon balls?”



“I hope you burn in hell”

“The training may have involved a lot of liquor”

“That was terrible, it was like the Godfather”

“2 is poop”

“Blaine you’re fired too”

*collective screaming over the dismemberment of golden Mario”

“Take his goggles”


“I’m moist, I’m dampened”

“Sometimes the losers win”

“Screw your psychology”

“Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope”

“There’s a Pokémon manga” “yeah” “Fucking nerds”

“If it makes you feel any better we’re all inhaling cancer”

“Gobble her balls”

“She has the balls of wisdom”

“I believe in ball gobbler”


“This is what it’s like to be a parent and watch your kid throw away their life”

*All chanting “Ball Gobbler”*

“Tri-force of bitchdom”

“He won’t gobble anymore balls, and if he does his tongue will stick to them”



“Excuse me while you struggle I’ll play candy crush”

“It’s the struggle that’s the most entertaining”


“Now I just need three bananas”

“Oh you’re using Mario tricks, that’s cute”



“He failed, he deserves it”

“If he can’t win he’s no good to me”

“God damnit, you wanted this”


“"Burn in hell" may be in one of the envelopes”

“We train toys to fight, and we laugh”

“What are you doing buddy? Your such a good boy!”

“Step on that bitches fingers!”

“I guess it’s fitting, cause now he’s a hot dog”

“Enjoy cancer everyone”




“What in the actual shit?”

“My small dick went a long way”

“Short stubby and effective”



“You look like you just came out of a strippers ass”

“Cum goes in the butt”

“Spoopy shots”

“2 shots because it’s 2 spooky”

Backed-Up Anger Part 3 (Luke Hemmings Smut)

Requested: Yes 
poofybabyunicorn asked:Part 3? Hockey luke?
katelynalltimelow asked: Is there going to be a part 3??????
Plot: Combination of rough foreplay and sweet sex with Luke
Word Count: 1.171

Part 1 x. | Part 2 x. | Masterlist x. | Requests x

As always Luke kept his secret.
He told you there’s going to be round three and he was dead serious about it, no matter if you were keen for it or not. This was his form of revenge and punishment, his way of releasing his anger about a lost game; driving you over the edge again and again, until you could only remain whimpering and pleading under his touch, due to the sexual pleasure and hypersensitivity he was bestowing upon you.
So far he did great work - your body was already a mess. Your legs felt like jelly, your core was burning, your breasts were hurting and your wrists rubbed open, thanks to the handcuffs.
But regardless of all the pain you were lying in your shared bed next to Luke, craving more of his touch.
His broad hard body was huddled against yours from behind, his throbbing dick stabbing into your butt, whilst one of his hands was pressed against your core. Three of his fingers glided up and down your folds to savour some of your liquids before he started pumping in and out your pussy rapidly.
You couldn’t decide whether his movements brought pleasure or pain to your body, it somehow was a weird mixture of both and you definitely wanted more. Luke’s fingers started thrusting into you rougher, curling every now and then to massage your G-Spot from another angle and soon enough your legs began to shake.
His thumb was arbitrary brushing your clit every now and then, taking over the motion of his other fingers, concentrated on penetrating you deeply. Your neck fell back to rest in the crack of Luke’s neck, as moans and screams of hurt and satisfaction left your opened mouth.
Your body bolted up to create harder and deeper pleasuring thrusts, only to withdraw from his aching touch seconds after. You were going crazy, your body twitching in a strange rhythm and your mind clouded by desire and lust.
“Luke please, I can’t take it anymore.” It was merely a whimper that escaped your lips and just as you thought he would start pushing harder and sending you over the edge, like he did the previous times this evening, he suddenly stopped his movements.
Your eyes fluttered open and you turned your head around, meeting his mesmerizing blue ones already looking at you with a pleased expression and a smirk forming on his lips.
Slowly his smirk faded and a serious expression took over his face. His hand lightly ran up your body to your cheek, caressing it while your gaze never left his, getting lost in the other’s eyes. Nearly cautiously, Luke came closer and let your foreheads touch each other, before his lips followed and you could feel his soft plump pair pressed against yours, the cold metal of his lip ring sending shivers down your spine.
For a moment you were just lying there, kissing each other gently and feeling his hot breath hitting against your skin.
“I love you Y/N” Luke whispered softly, his eyes already waiting for yours to open up again to search for any signs of confirmation or rejection.
The world started to turn slower and the only thing you could focus on was Luke, right here and right now. Nearly one year you’ve waited for these words to leave his lips, never imagining it to happen tonight, after he lost his match and arrived at your flat with one of the worst moods he’s ever had.
You simply crashed your lips against his, turning fully around, grasping his face between your hands and letting your tongue glide into his mouth for one long sweet kiss.
“I love you too, Luke.” You mumbled between every kiss you delivered to his lips, smiling like a fool whilst doing so.
Luke turned the both of you around, holding his body above yours, his still clearly present boner pressing against your inner tight.
“Come on Hemmings, you promised me a hattrick.” You looked up at him challenging, wearing a big smirk on your lips as you once again pulled him down towards you.
“I thought you’re hurting babe?” He breathed against your lips, hovering only inches above them, as his loud amused laughter filled the room.
“Shit yes! But I don’t care right now. I only wanna make love to you.”
“As you wish.” He didn’t waste any more time and placed his cock against your entrance, the hot tip touching your wet core sending unimaginable pleasure through your sensitive bundle of nerves. He slowly pushed his swollen member between your walls, making you cringe in pain halfway. Luke immediately stopped and looked down at you with a worried facial expression, but continued as you gave him a confirmative nod.
His hands were roaming all around your body, stroking from your hips up to you waist and back down again. Little shocks were sent through your body wherever he placed his lips, giving special attention to your neck, softly kissing the hickeys he left there earlier, causing your nails to burry in the skin of his back. Beads of sweat and effort were forming on his forehead, as he started to pick up his pace, but still going slower than ever tonight. His thrusts were deep and all-consuming, his tip fondling your inner parts with each thrust in a loving way. Probably it would have taken you longer to reach your climax, but since it’s been your forth orgasm in the last two hours and Luke’s been completely aroused and ready, soon the both of you reached your high and felt an orgasm break over you.
Deep groans left Luke’s mouth, hitting against your neck, as your walls clenched around his throbbing dick, pulling him even deeper inside you. Your mouth opened, forming different shapes of ‘ohs’ while screaming out his name, overwhelmed by the immense pleasure you felt, still completely exhausted from your previous rounds.
As your toes clenched into the mattress under you, Luke’s heavy body collapsed on yours, pressing a soft kiss onto your lips. He didn’t pull out yet and your hands found the wet hair, which slowly formed to curls at the back of his neck, and combed through it lightly.
After a few minutes Luke got off of you, enabling you to get up and head towards the bathroom to clean up yourself, since you didn’t think of using a condom during your last round.
You found one of Luke’s hockey shirts lying on the floor and pulled it over your head, before strolling back to your bedroom again. Taking a halt in the doorway, you admired Luke still lying on his stomach, looking completely sweaty and exhausted and couldn’t help but smile to yourself. You slowly walked towards your already sleeping and slightly snoring boyfriend and curled yourself into his side, before covering the both of you with your comfy blankets.
You turned out the light and pressed a light kiss on Luke’s forehead.
“Next game you’ll win, Hemmings.”

Request are open and really appreciated x.