us wildflowers

depression tips™
  • shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.
  • moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 
  • put on clean, comfortable clothes. 
  • put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.
  • drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.
  • clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 
  • blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.
  • make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 
  • make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
  • go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.
  • call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.
  • cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

They go all the way back to the base of the mountain where there used to be native wildflowers and now there’s just invasive grasses.

marjoram

i had a lover and then i lost her
dropped her in the well
no really, the wind picked up
and i went mad, touched my cheek
to the wan face of the moon
saw the stars howling, those rats

she used to turn wildflowers
into honey: a bee-browed girl
how else would i describe it?
a prince came riding in
on a white stallion, no less, what a hero
well, i cut him down with his own sword,
sold the horse for a box downtown

can i just skip to being a father

One looked at me like I
was a great discovery,
among inventions and ideas galore
as our intellect we did explore.

Another looked at me like I
was a work of art, amidst paintings
and sketches and sculptures
as we admired the hands of the starving.

You were different because
you looked at me like I was
the mountain or the wildflowers before us
or the clear call of the birds in the air.

Amidst all of creation,
your eyes landed on me in a gentle stare.

—  // it was the most lovely dream // S.K.K. // September 10, 2016 //