us cents

controversial opinion: despite liking explicit pornography on his professional twitter account, i don’t agree with the consensus that ted cruz was jacking it on 9/11. masturbating to mediocre porn spam just seems too human for whatever life form cruz is. i believe he just sat there, watching. alone in the dark, unmoving. perhaps occasionally nodding, or loudly exclaiming ‘that’s nice’, in an earnest, but ultimately misguided attempt at mimicking human behavior

It’s crazy to me that after all Taylor has been through, all the anxiety she expressed feeling before and during writing Reputation because of forces and judgements out of her control, she still has it in her heart to trust us one hundred per cent? She called the Secret Sessions a sacred space, and now I totally understand. There was a bond in that room that didn’t even need to be spoken. She’s so right though, you can’t know if you can trust someone…..until you trust them. So unless we break this trust, it’s here to stay. We should feel bloody proud of what we’ve got going, here. It’s one of a kind, for sure.

romulus-ac  asked:

Sooooo, hmmm, If I combine my dollar plus 5 cents and add it what Hunter McCree has, do we have enough to pay for those Shimada demons...? I love the latest Halloween piece. It is genius, funny, and I love the color details on it. Thank you for creating such an amazing art piece. Have a spooky one!


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anonymous asked:

your story was so funny omg. do you have any more?

  • So i lived the town over from my high school, and had to catch the bus like an hour and a half every day to and from
  • (a movie. thats a fucking movie, every day, twice a day)
  • (commuter tragedy)
  • and because we were all stuck together for so long for like six years, we followed the natural inclination of teenagers to be fucking idiots at every chance
  • and we formed this group of bus kids
  • forged by ridiculous travel times
  • bonded in suffering the ridiculous rule of
  • our bus driver.
  • our bus driver was an old, old lady called jeannine
  • (nickname: the grinch, due to the time we were singing christmas carols and she got annoyed and declared that christmas was canceled.)
  • (we put up a sign written in texta that said ‘NO CHRISTMAS - SIGNED, THE GRINCH’)
  • (she did not find it funny)
  • jeannine had been driving the bus since time immemorial
  • (and may have of, in fact, been one of the Old Ones)
  • (never confirmed)
  • (but i have my suspicions)
  • Jeannie ran a tight ship.
  • the tightest ship
  • jeannine was the generalissimo of bus drivers
  • she played this talkback radio station over the speaker system
  • and when we were being too loud or she was jut annoyed with us she would turn it up to deafening levels
  • and we would all block our ears, and then having gotten our attention she would turn it down and shout at us
  • when we were REALLY TERRIBLE
  • (like those two weeks after high school musical premiered and we used to have breaking free singalongs)
  • (yeah)
  • (I would have turned the radio up on our asses too)
  • she would park next to the city graveyard
  • (always the graveyard?)
  • (i dont know why)
  • (mental conditioning?)
  • (subliminal messgakng?)
  • and walk/hobble
  • (she was pretty stooped over)
  • (basically she was your standard old crone)
  • (potentially witch)
  • up and down the aisle tellin us how terrible we were
  • so anyway, one year jeannine goes on a two week break for surgery
  • (what surgery? We never found out. Various sources claim knee, hip or shoulder replacement)
  • (could have been a stay at a lazarus pit)
  • (stay woke)
  • and we get a replacement driver.
  • we called him nickelback because he played a nickelback cd over the speaker,
  • on repeat
  • every bus trip
  • EVERY.
  • TRIP.
  • how the hell’d we wind up like this?
  • so free from the reign of terror that was jeannine, we get a bit wild.
  • and by ‘wild’ i mean we:
  • talk above speaking level,
  • eat our food in the ooen,
  • someone busts out a guitar anyway here’s wonderwall
  • its one of these days,
  • that the Great Apple Fiasco happens.

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An actual cute story where I don't hate anyone

So I know from experience that girls from 5-15 have this tendency to want to talk to older girls and want to impress them. I was like that as a teen, so whenever a girl in that age range comes in and kinda shyly starts talking to me I’m always attentive, because I know it will make them feel cool.
No idea why, I’m the lamest 20 something ever, but I have piercings and a car so I guess I’m cool to anyone too young to drive. Whatever.

So yesterday this 6 year old comes over while her mom is picking up her glasses and she starts off with:

“I lost my tooth last night.”
So I play along.
“That’s awesome, did the tooth fairy bring you anything?”
“I got a dollar!”
“Wow, that’s a lot. I used to get 25 cents.”
“Yeah” then she whispers “…my mom is the tooth fairy.”
I’m not going to step on that landmine, so I say.
“Really! How did she know when I lost a tooth when I was little?” Thinking the girl would clarify that the tooth fairy wasn’t real and that my parent’s put the money there. But no, the girl shrugged and just goes.

“My mom has superpowers.” Whispered like it’s the biggest secret in the world. And then goes on to tell me this story about how her mom has a special tower where she keeps the teeth and the teeth have memories in them and it was the most adorable thing ever.

Made my day so much better.

I was reading OTP prompts and one involved the Black Friday sales

Now I wanna see Jared just knock the FUCK out of a white suburban mom trying to steal his bathbombs

Vanitas D-Linking Technique

so I’ve seen a lot of KH players express utter confusion re: Ven’s final boss fight in BBS (the D-Link portion). with the latest influx of people trying to catch up on the series in time for KH3, I’m seeing this confusion a lot more lately, and on reddit especially.

so, for anyone who might be new to the game or who just got lucky in the past and still doesn’t know how it works, THIS IS HOW IT WORKS:

  • You need to charge your command gauge all the way to unlock Vanitas’ finisher. this is done by clashing with him using either of the two new moves in your deck (Dark Spiral, Dark Splicer) or your Shotlock. which you use is up to you; I personally prefer the Shotlock, but if my focus gauge runs empty then I use Dark Spiral, since I can only take two to three hits before dying and Splicer has trickier timing (although it does look cooler).
  • Clash with him, overpower him using the on-screen prompt, gain energy in your command gauge.
  • Because Vanitas is a brat, sometimes he’ll stall for time by not attacking and your command gauge will start to lose that precious energy you just fought for. If you’re confident in your movement abilities, dash forward, smack him a few times, and then get the heck out of there. Those few hits will reset the invisible timer on your command gauge. 
  • Once your gauge is full, you get the prompt for the finisher Last Word. Take your time with this, because your gauge is now fixed and will not deplete if you don’t use it right away.
  • Again, take your time with this. Do not use it randomly, you will most likely fail. This is where all the complaints I see come from, because players just spam it and miss and get frustrated. To use it, you have to clash it with one of his moves just like you did previously – specifically, either his Shotlock or Dark Spiral.
  • DO NOT use it if he’s just standing there, and DO NOT use it if he starts teleporting around. You want to face him when you start the finisher, and if he’s teleporting behind you then obviously it can’t work.
  • When you see him start up his Shotlock or Dark Spiral, trigger the finisher. (I personally recommend Spiral as the safer bet, because if you’re timing’s off it’s possible to run face-first into his Shotlock and either die or take damage. Either way, you lose your Finisher and have to start over.) After a cool action sequence, he should die. 

There might be alternative ways to do it (in which case do feel free to add on), but this is how I’ve always done it - and except for the couple times where I was impatient and got smacked by his Shotlock, it always works for me.

So I started thinking about how the FAHC spend Christmas and then this happened.

The first Christmas Ryan is with the crew, Ray jokingly has this idea, it’s a joke, right, and it’s fucking ridiculous, of course. A guys wouldn’t it be funny if- type thought, nothing ever meant to come of it, that they should do a Secret Santa. he blurts it out in the middle of a crew meeting and Michael laughs, Gavin rolls his eyes, Jack smiles fondly and Geoff just tells him to shut the fuck up, they’re in the middle of important business.

And Ryan… Ryan has only been in the crew for like two months, if that, and he’s still wearing his skull mask, so who really knows what the fuck he’s thinking.

In the end, as they’re all shuffling their respective notes and joking about their code-names (“fucking wee-wee wrangler, what the fuck kind of name is that?”) it comes as a surprise to everyone when Ryan asks “so are we doing the Secret Santa thing or…?”

And everyone is a little wary about saying no to him, and Ray especially does not want to admit that it’s a joke because holy shit does he not want to make The Vagabond feel foolish.

So they wind up finding a Santa hat in Jack’s stash of disguises, and they pull names and apparently Secret Santa is a thing now.


Geoff pulls Michael and he breathes a sigh of relief. Michael is probably the easiest out of all of them. Geoff essentially cleans Ammunation out of everything explosive, and calls it a day. Michael insists he spent far too much, But Geoff waves him off. “They’re mostly fuck around with, but I’m not gonna lie, that shit’s definitely gonna come in handy for a heist at some point. Call it a business expense.” Michael is not about to argue with, especially not when he’s finally got a fucking grenade launcher in his hands.


Michael pulls Gavin and though he doesn’t say it, everybody knows because he immediately fist pumps, bragging about how he’s fucking got this, holy shit it’ll be so easy, one of you fuckers is gonna be so lucky.’ It’s all talk, of course, because on December 22nd he’s lying in bed with Ray, complaining. “What the fuck. What do I do? How is Gavin so hard?”

“Fuckin’ spoilers, dude. What happened to secret Santa?”

“Fuck that. You’re a secret elf now. Help.”

“Just get him, like, something gold. It literally doesn’t matter what it is.”

“I’m not spending a fucking fortune on some useless piece of shit. I refuse.”

“Fuckin’… blow him, man. I don’t know.”


He winds shelling out way too fucking much for some real gold sunglasses. And because they’re stupid and expensive, of course Gavin loves them. He wears them indoors, for Chrissake. At least he wears them.


Gavin pulls Jack, and immediately tells everyone except for Jack herself. “What do I do? What does she even like?” He tries to enlist anyone’s help he can, begging them to ask on his behalf. “As long as you don’t tell her why.” Everyone turns him down because he’s ‘ruining the fun’. Right.

Michael jokingly suggests a gift card to a local costume shop, ‘for her disguises and shit’

Instead he makes her a certificate in Photoshop that entitles her to “One Helper in a Two-Person Heist” The fine print states that the heist must be performed at the costume shop, and the helper must be him.

It’s the silliest, most genuinely sweet thing she could ever imagine coming from Gavin. Two weeks later they go together and pick the entire store clean.


Jack pulls Ray, and it takes her approximately 15 seconds to have her plan locked down. New sniper rifle. Bright fucking pink. Every bullet Ammunation carries.

At the last minute she throws in three different fast food gift cards. (McDonald’s, Taco Bell and Wendy’s)

He claims he’d marry her for all this shit once he sees the cards. Seriously. She’s hit two of the three things he spends any of his money on, that’s the best wife material if he’s ever heard of.

“Sorry, Michael.” he jokes.

It doesn’t phase him. “Please, Jack, take him off my hands. That’s the best present you could give me.”


Ray pulls Ryan, and he’s immediately regretting every choice that lead him to suggesting this shit in the first place. Fuck, what do you get the masked man in your life who scares you shitless? Food? Nah. Come to think of it, he can’t remember ever seeing Ryan eat. Maybe he’s actually a robot, who would know under the mask?

A new mask? But what if Ryan takes that as a judgement on his current fashion choices and decides to gut him over it? Better not risk it.

Weapons? Ray’s pretty sure he already has a collection that would put the military to shame. Also, what if he takes that as an insult? Ray does not want that collection to be used on him, thank you very much.

Video games? Maybe. He thinks he once heard Ryan mention an Xbox? Must mean he’s super into games and will hopefully appreciate the humor in receiving Hitman.

Michael says it’s the dumbest idea he’s ever heard of, do it, he wants to see how this ends.

It goes… well, to the surprise of everyone. Ryan laughs and says it’s actually pretty funny, and besides, he’s actually wanted to play the game for awhile. Just hadn’t gotten around to it.


And Ryan pulls Geoff. Which, fuck, he hadn’t really thought about when he’d awkwardly brought up what he later realized to be a joke. He’d only been with them for a few months, had no idea what the city’s weirdest crew might do for Christmas. He hears ‘Secret Santa’ and it kind of makes sense. Of course the Fakes would do something silly like that. It isn’t until much later, when he’s sitting in his apartment alone, rolling the little paper with Geoff’s name on it between his fingers, does it dawn on him.

It’s a joke. They don’t actually do this every year. Ray had been kidding.

Well fuck him, man. Now he’s in it, he has to do something.

The simple answer is booze. He’s not really a drinker himself, but anybody who’s spent more than five minutes around Geoff knows how much alcohol means to him. He knows Gavin or Jack could probably help him out, tell him exactly what brands and shit to buy. He could just rob a liquor store and hope for the best. Geoff would probably appreciate the theft aspect, honestly.

But that’s too easy. Beyond knowing he has to do something, he wants to. He wants to do something good, too. Something that matters. Part of him, a very deep part that he would gladly skin anybody who got to close to it, wants to make Geoff, and the rest of the crew, understand. The fact that they’ve let him in, allowed him to be part of their family, even if it still feels somewhat distant and awkward, it’s getting better. He feels more at ease with them, more comfortable. Like it really could be permanent. He wants something that expresses that.

So Christmas day, he walks into Geoff’s to find the whole crew already there,which fuck, doesn’t make it any easier. He has a bottle of whiskey tucked under one arm, a six pack of beer in his other hand and…no mask.

He might be more comfortable walking down a street naked. Shit, he feels naked as five sets of eyes turn to him, all conversation stumbling to a halt. He tries to ignore the panic in his brain as he steps up to Geoff, setting the six pack beside him on the couch. “Uh, Merry Christmas? I was your Secret Santa so…” He holds out the bottle awkwardly, and Geoff makes no move to take it, just staring up at his face.

“Right. Well. I’ll just…” he sets the bottle at Geoff’s feet and half-collapses onto the other end of the couch.

Michael is the one to break the silence.

“Holy shit, Ryan.”


“Oh come the fuck on. You know what.”

“Yeah, yeah, ok, it’s my face.” he runs a hand through his hair. “It-I just-” he shakes his head. “Merry Christmas to all of you, alright?”

And yes, the rest of the day is slightly awkward, and every time he turns around he catches someone staring, but it’s a start.

anonymous asked:

Hi!! Could you please give us your two cents about how this 2CT is gonna go down with regards to Lizzy? Bc before when I thought there was only one Ciel I was 100% on board the ship. Now that it's confirmed there are two... I just, I mean, I know Lizzy is going to be with O!Ciel, but like R!Ciel is just so freaking alluring, like??? She's always been in love with the R!, but she never knew she was giving that love to O! And asdfdjslsjc I just I don't know what to think anymore!!

Hi anon! Thank you so much for your question, I have so much to say I don’t even know where to begin haha :D 

This is going to get pretty long, but basically I feel that we may see:

- o!Ciel having to acknowledge once and for all that he treasures Lizzy, and that everything he’s done for her has been because of his own feelings and not because of playing the part of the dutiful fiancé.

- Lizzy making a conscious, informed choice and choosing to remain by o!Ciel’s side. Thus showing o!Ciel that if he just trusts, if he just gives people a chance—people can love him for whom he is, rather than just compare him to his brother and find him paling in comparison.  

R!Ciel will just be a catalyst and an agent during all of this, because he’s there to force their hands and make them face each other and their pasts. What remains to be seen is if he’ll actually care for Lizzy the way he used to in the past, or if she’ll just be a chess-piece for him. Whatever it is he does, he is surely going to be pretty manipulative and sly lol 

Since this arc has already brought to the table that o!Ciel is frightened of being happy, I think this is when he’ll have to take out his claws, be selfish—in an entirely different way—put his foot down and say: no. These people care about me, and I want them in my life even if I’m going to make them suffer. You can’t have them.  

At the same time, it should also be the arc where o!Ciel comes to appreciate himself more. Not his identity as head of the Phantomhive house or as a stand-in for his stronger, more capable brother. But as whom he actually is, because he has people who love him dearly and care for him and will be ready to remind him of how much he’s worth in their eyes and why.

I think that’s going to be one of the keys from here on out, because otherwise Yana wouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. However, that’s all assuming Yana will give us a break and let o!Ciel reach a nice development threshold before pulling the rug underneath his feet again for whatever it is she has planned next lol It all depends on how dark she wants the manga to be and on how close (or far) we’re to the end. 

Now for all the otp ramblings! lol 

I have made a couple of posts about Lizzy and 2CT HEREHERE, HERE and HERE and those are probably more organized than this one is going to be. But since I can’t seem to shut up about this, here we go!

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Dear harmos,

Please don’t ruin this for Mani by saying insane things and alienating her fanbase from the others. She needs all the support she can get and it needs to come by way of her dancing prowess and overall presence on the show. You can be supportive of Normani without demeaning other people’s favorites okay?